Reddit mentions of The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

So beyond the commonalities in your post and trying to not read to far into who you are (projection) I would like to recommend looking into why delaying gratification does not work for you.

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It is that lack of discipline in gratification which is hammering away at my growth and the thing I like the least of the situation; not that I lack flexibility (I do, for other reasons) but that I am not a master of my choices.


I have read a lot of books on psychology as it pertains to relationships but I have not delved too far into the self beyond self care. I am reading The Road Less Traveled in an effort to understand why I am not disciplined in this area, where I am in others.


When, not if, but when, there are consequences to my spending--the lack of discipline--it will turn into self destructive behavior. Perhaps subconsciously I consider it destructive already and rationalize my way out of it as I have here. Something for me to think about.


At any rate, you are not alone internet stranger, and like you, I am ashamed about it. I'll be getting my copay's value out of therapy this month, I think.

There are many.

• Some detail the use of Stoicism in difficult situations. The best known is probably Stockdale's essay Courage Under Fire: Testing Epictetus’s Doctrines in a Laboratory of Human Behavior (PDF). Stockdale was a POW in Vietnam, and his reading of Epictetus proved helpful to his psyche. Another book that explores the connection between Stoicism and the military is Sheridan's Stoic Warriors. Again with the military theme, I'm a fan of the Stoic-adjacent Jocko Podcast, so I'll be ordering Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual, which is not yet available. You might listen to a few episodes of the podcast or watch a few YouTube clips to check for yourself. There's also a subreddit, /r/JockoPodcast.
  
  
• Books about CBT and REBT are Stoic-adjacent. I've read A Guide to Rational Living and Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond, but there are of course many others. I found the latter to be especially interesting, as it was intended for therapists, not patients. The Road Less Traveled is also Stoic-ish, especially the first half, but used different terminology.
  
  
• Becker's A New Stoicism is in a class all its own. Here's an interview with the author.
  
  Edited to add one more: Plutarch's Life of Cato the Younger

Hey, I'm glad to see that you've been able to get a fresh start after a really difficult struggle. I'm honest when I say congratulations!

Here's the great news, its never too late to start over or to begin. You made it out alive -- always remember how far you've come even if now you feel like you have nothing. You're a valuable person and now is the time to remember that, and take your first step in the right direction. Also, there are some other subreddits to check out and where you can ask this question in. I don't know what you were addicted to, but some subreddits deal with people with addictions and they may be helpful in giving you suggestions like: /r/stopdrinking . (Even if you weren't a drinker, they still may be able to help you out with good suggestions).

I'd recommend starting small -- look in your local area for lower skilled jobs: restaurants (servers, dishwashers), retail stores (cashier, stock room worker, sales), grocery stores (cashier, stock room worker, bagger), or other local small businesses for administrative work (secretary, office assistant). Get dressed in khakis (or the dressiest non-jeans pants you own) with a nice button up shirt. Shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth, look presentable -- and look for local businesses that are hiring and confidently ask if there are any positions available. I suggest smaller businesses and applying in person because they'll be more interested in hiring somebody that they'd get along and who can do the job, versus a larger company who would want somebody with on point experience.

Here's why I recommend starting small:

(1) You'll get a paycheck

(2) You'll get a routine

(3) You'll start to socialize, and meet other people

(4) You'll grow some confidence in your sober life

(5) you'll have the time to figure out what interests you


Why I recommend not going for a certificate yet:

(1) You don't know what your interests are

(2) You're taking a gamble on getting a certificate and landing in a career you may like.

(3) It may be difficult for your sobriety to handle that kind of stress


Also, go to your local library, or bookstore, and see if you can find any good books on personal growth, and careers. (What Color is your Parachute is a great book -- talks about finding work for the first half of the book, but the second half has exercises that you can do to learn about yourself and learn about what interests you (The author makes a new edition every year for like 30 years, maybe you can buy / rent an older version for cheap). I'd really recommend taking the time to learn about your interests -- other people might be able to recommend some other good books about personal growth (I liked The Road Less Traveled). I know you're not in the US/UK or a developed EU country, so this may be a challenge to get these books in particular, but I'm sure if you have a local library that they'll have a section for self-help / personal growth / careers. Read voraciously.

You've lost some time, sure, but I really don't think now is the time to be impatient and jump right into a career path without at least laying a small foundation of working and self-discovery.

It depends on your country / location, but there may be some governmental support you can receive either in the form of money, or in the form of job support -- like a local municipality's job website, or local city's jobs bureau or something where they will help you land a job. Further, since I don't know where you live (you don't have to tell everyone) -- I wouldn't even know what certifications to recommend if that's the path you're absolutely set on. I don't want to recommend something to you that you or I don't know whether you'd hate or not.

Lastly, look for a local sobriety group, like Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar. It will be a good way to not only stay sober, but to network. I've worked for people who were in AA, and they tend to help others in the 'program' by helping them find work.

Best of luck, I hope this was helpful.

The Road Less Traveled?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0078XGEK2/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1

Richest Man in Babylon

The Road Less Traveled

Man's Search For Meaning

Things are already serious and getting more so but you don't know it. You're going to make decisions that are incompatible with who you wanted to be when you grow up without anyone saying a thing or you noticing. The foundation for being a good man is either solidified now or (as in my case) built amid the chaos of realizing I've drifted far from my self without knowing it in my forties.

All of these books are truly helpful but if you only have time for one make it the road less traveled. The first paragraph may change your life and stop you from being an entitled self-pittying child which, by and large, is how most of us enter our twenties and often thirties

Nobody can understand what we go through except others with CF. I'm not saying we have it harder than anyone else, just that there is no possible way for another human being to understand what we're going through. I don't know what it would be like to be blind or to have cancer or anything else for that matter. People do their best and if they think they understand what you're going through it's just ignorance on their part. I'm not intending that to be a negative remark.

One thing that helped me a lot was a book that my Dr. recommended I check out. It's called the road less traveled (link below). This book helped me grow so much emotionally and really helped me deal with CF. CF is an unfortunate disease to have, but we are so fortunate that there is so much in our control. We can always be doing more treatments, more exercise, eating better, etc. Don't get me wrong I know there is plenty out of our control but it always helps to look on the bright side of things.

Stay tough. You'll make it through this and continue to be a strong human being.

http://www.amazon.com/Road-Less-Travelled-Psychology-Traditional-ebook/dp/B0078XGEK2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405452044&sr=8-1&keywords=the+road+less+traveled