#13 in Adolescent psychology books
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Reddit mentions of Your Defiant Teen, Second Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship
Sentiment score: 1
Reddit mentions: 1
We found 1 Reddit mentions of Your Defiant Teen, Second Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship. Here are the top ones.
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Well if you give him some control in the decision then he will be less oppositional, defiant, disobedient, passive aggressive etc. He is doing that for he thinks that is the only way to get what he wants for he feels he has no control in the situation and since you are his parents and its your way or the highway the only thing he feels he can do is "hit the brakes" and be a PITA. Your son may be great but even if he is the most awesome kid in the world sometimes your kid can wear down your patience :)
Once the kid understand that you share the same goals as him. You want him to succed, and you do not want him to drug him so he is not himself anymore he will be more receptiant to compromise since he understands you two share the same goals you just differ on the way to earn that goal.
And once you can assay his fears, for his fears are legitimate, but unlikely then he will be willing to try the medication. He has no clue what is the chance of those side effects happening, he is no medical expert, and you guys are no medical expert so outside experts such as a doctor that he feels is on his side (not his parents side but his side) as well as that ADHD expert I linked to will allow him to answers his legitimate fears, and once his fears are answered he will be willing to take a chance if you can also "sell the idea that meds will make his life easier and he will get more of what he really deep down wants."
Your son wants to succeed, he does not want to coast for the sake of coasting, he wants success but if success seems unlikely or requires so much effort that he feels exhausted he will give up for this is human nature, but ADHD people are much more sensitive of "mental exhaustion" for it is harder for us to refuel our own internal motivation.
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The person I linked to is one of the best ADHD experts out there, you can find many of his videos on youtube under Dr. Barkley. He also wrote a book called Your Defiant Teen, Second Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship. It will help you speak with more empathy when you speak to your teen and via this everyone's life in the family will improve for we fight not because we hate the other person but because we love them but we also want our own personal goals and dreams.
Barkley also recommends the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.
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I wish your son the best, I have no doubt he is smart, but the times of middle school, high school, and college are the hardest times for an ADHD person for it is lot of skills you are just naturally not good at yet they are important and you can not run away from them like you can with a job. A job you need money but you get to choose the job that suits your talents. Only time that even compares to school years I listed are when an ADHD adult recently becomes a parent and they are overwhelmed by all the new work and responsibility and they have not yet adapted.