Reddit mentions of Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy

Just as a point of reference, my 3 year old cries like that quite a bit. Usually over quite trivial matters. This morning, she cried for 15 minutes straight because her daddy plugged in her ipod to the charger instead of letting her do it.

So some of it is just developmental and/or personality at that point. Stay patient and just keep letting him know that you are there for him. At some point, you'll notice a bit of a break in the crying and that's when you ask if he wants you to hold him. If you have a rocker of big comfy chair, that would be nice to snuggle up in. Maybe offer him some water or juice and to read a book or something.

I know this sounds shitty to say but don't frantically offer him up all kinds of stuff to do or big treats just to make him feel better. He'll figure out that this is how he can get stuff. Just be there to comfort and let him get it all out. If you validate his feelings and mirror them back to him, it'll help him be able to talk about them in the future. It also decreases the crying. You literally just say exactly what he's saying back to him. "you want your daddy. yes, you want your daddy." It really helps them to feel like they've been heard rather than, "It's ok" because in his mind, it's really not ok and to be told that is rather confusing.

Some good books to read are this series:
Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy (this title always cracks me up)

and

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (this one has some really old school illustrations but it's great for talking to kids and adults of all ages)

Good luck, you are doing a wonderful thing taking him in. I'm sure transitions will get easier from here on out.

Is she three and a half? That's when they usually go crazy. This book helps understand where they are developmentally. In short, though, 3.5 is a wild ride, so do what you can to get through it and remind yourself every day that it will be over soon. It's usually a lot better by age 4. Remember that even though she sounds really grown up, she's mostly still a toddler with undeveloped self control and big feelings that she doesn't know what to do with. The more you are able to remain calm and regulated (which is tough in the middle of a megatantrum), the easier it will be for her to calm herself.

You aren't doing anything to cause her to go crazy, nothing is wrong with her, it's hard, and it will pass.

Oh, also, on the practical side, do whatever you can to make sure she's getting enough protein and sleep. That seemed to help my kiddo to avoid the meltdowns a little.

He may even out soon. Between a solid schedule, a stable home environment, and good old growing up, he may chill out sooner than you think. The threes are a tough age. But (in my experience) the fours are better. My son, now 4.5, is like a completely different kid from when he was 3. With the exception of yesterday, when he was an ass all day, he's an even tempered, low maintenance, chill kid. He's maturing, and it shows.

How did we deal in the meantime? This amazing book. It's a short, quick read, and it really helped my husband and I understand our son as well as help care for him, through the highs and lows.