(Part 3) Best products from r/AskMen

Hey mate, bit late to the party but I wanted to give my 2p.

First off, it sounds like you're doing all the right things. Don't stress too much, you're married and have a profession, you're in your thirties, you're good. No-one is ever really ready to have kids - I say that as someone who had my first when I was 36, then another when I was 39, both planned, very nerve-wracking the first time and still a bit scary the second time.

It's true that it's hard being a parent, but it's also TOTALLY FUCKING AMAZING. You know that crazy retardation-level infatuation you have the first time you fall in love with someone, where you'll happily just watch them sleep? Be prepared to have that all the time for your kids. Yes, they can be a pain in the arse and yes you will go without enough sleep and probably have very difficult moments along the way but being around your kids gives you a low level buzz of joy all the time. My everyday experience is that I'm stressed out in the mornings getting my kids ready for school and breathe a massive sigh of relief when I've finally got the little fuckers where they're supposed to be just about on time - then 30 minutes later I miss them like crazy.

So, a few tips:

1. Try and attend a few pre-natal classes with your wife to learn what giving birth really means - in my country (UK) we have something called an NCT class where 10 or so couples turn up every Saturday for a month to find out the honest details about giving birth. It is NOT like it appears in films - my wife's first labour took 26 hours, so it's waaaay slower than you might expect. Neither of you will really know what will happen so learn that shit; the "What To Expect When You're Expecting" book is a good starting point, there are many others. Weirdly enough, the film "Knocked Up" is actually not too far off either.
   
   
2. They should tell you this in the prenatal but you should have a Birth Bag ready from 8 months on or so - this should have comfortable clothes, chocolate, some way to play music, bottled water, basically everything you will need to keep your wife comfortable in the 10 - 30 hours it takes her to give birth. My wife has a much higher pain threshold than me but she got totally exhausted by the whole ordeal so chocolate and a Stevie Wonder CD were very welcome.
   
   
3. Breastfeeding is an awesome thing, it doesn't always happen by itself (or at all). Support your wife in any way you can to help it get started, but don't feel to down (either of you) if you end up having to use formula. Either way, top tip: when your baby is feeding try to do something useful around the house (cleaning, making tea, whatever) as that will set the right tone and make your wife happy.
   
   
4. Speaking of which - you and your wife are in this together. She needs female friends, you need male friends, but what you really need is each other; don't afraid to be selfish together, help her as much as you can, don't let anyone (midwife, best friend, mother-in-law) push you around, this is you and your wife's time.
   
   
5. Don't worry if you aren't a "baby person". I hated being around kids (especially babies) until I had my own, now I get totally gooey around babies. You'll change when you have your own. One thing I wasn't prepared for though is how frustrated and frankly angry I got when my babies had been crying / not sleeping for a few hours and my tired brain had had enough - don't freak out, don't be afraid to go and take a few minutes breather outside, it's normal to need that.
   
   
6. Buy some swaddling things with velcro, like this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/SwaddleMe-Original-Swaddle-Woodland-Friends/dp/B016MP5IZI . They got my kids to sleep better than most other things (in fact, the best way they got to sleep is in a baby sling - lots of people think they're horrible and pussified, but the kids love them and they work really well. I used to put a movie on with subtitles and no audio and put the baby in the sling and rock them to sleep on a difficult night).
   
   
7. Sometimes babies miscarry. Be prepared for that, it's kind of a taboo but it happens more than people think. Hopefully it won't happen to you.
   
   
8. Babies grow out of clothes and toys at a terrifying rate, but the good news is this means there is a constant stream of quality baby stuff out there to be for cheap on eBay or at your local charity shop. Don't be afraid to but that stuff, though maybe steer clear of the stuffed toys as they are harder to clean. You'll probably have waaay to much stuff anyway.
   
   
9. Learn to change a diaper. It's gross but this is the 21st Century, time to muck in.
   
   
10. Having two kids is still a lot harder than having one. Sorry, but that's just how it is - despite all the awesome life-changing experiences you get, you'll have less free time, and having two makes it worse. Find someone or some people who you trust to baby sit (Hi Grandma!) and get out of the house every now and then.
    
    
11. Babies are not as fragile as you might think - we didn't get to be the dominant species by failing to thrive. Don't stress too much but do put them to sleep on their back and support their heads when you pick them up.
    
    
12. This might be just me, but once I had kids I stopped feeling any more existential dread - you really know who you are and what your place in the world is once you've become a Dad.
    
    ​
    
    There's probably loads more stuff I've forgotten from the baby days (my youngest is nearly 4) ... lack of sleep will do that to you ;-)
    
    ​
    
    Good luck dude, and I'm sorry so much of the advice here is about health insurance. Yaay NHS!

So speaking as a woman, my skincare routine is, on average, going to be more involved than what guys usually do. But I do like all these products a lot and you should feel free to look into them individually. Also, many of them are going to be Korean skincare brands because Koreans really know their skincare shit. And since I have sensitive combination skin, the products I use are gentle enough for most skin types.

Step 1: Oil cleanser - I use Kose Softymo Deep Cleansing Oil. There's also another version of it that's the "Speedy Cleansing oil" that's similarly priced and just as effective. I put the oil on my dry face, rub in circles to encourage some exfoliation, then use a little water to sort of create a foam, and then rinse it off. There's also Cetaphil, which is of course a tried-and-true facial cleanser that's compatible with all skin types.

Step 2: Toner - I use Kikumasamune High Moisturizing toner, which is a Japanese toner that you use after cleansing/drying off your face. It smells like sake because that's one of the ingredients -- could cause breakouts, but I haven't had any problems with that. It's also a HUGE ASS bottle for a great price. Another option I've used is Aromatica Sea Daffodil toner. Also, when drying off your face, I recommend using Kleenex instead of a towel, because your towel can harbor all sorts of gross stuff and you wiping your newly-cleansed face on one can transfer said gross stuff onto your skin.

Step 3: Essence. I use a serum type thing but I'm going to skip over this because it's really not a super necessary step, basically like a thin pre-moisturizer to make my skin super hydrated.

Step 4 - Moisturizer. I've been using Mizon Black Snail All-In-One cream and it works great. It's also priced pretty well. Another option I've heard absolute raves about from /r/AsianBeauty is Stratia Liquid Gold which has worked phenomenally for many people. I'm definitely planning on purchasing this moisturizer soon. And also, using jojoba oil has also worked really well for my mom, so you could look into that.

Finally, sunscreen is a crucial addition to your skincare regimen that should never be treated as optional. I use Innisfree Eco Safety Daily Sunblock but here is also another helpful thread that gives feedback on sunscreen that has worked well for other people.

For spot treatments (like an occasional lone whitehead), I've been using Clean & Clear advantage acne spot treatment for like 10 years and it has not let me down.

Again, this regimen is much more involved than what most guys do (and if that's what works for them, great!), but there's also nothing wrong in investing in good skincare products!

1. Eat (and learn about) what you enjoy
   
   If you go searching for learn-how-to-cook tutorials and get stuck making some boring ass chicken recipe but don't even like chicken, you'll make the food correctly but have trouble enjoying the results. It's homework. You won't last making food you don't like.
   
   To stay interested, follow the foods you already love.
   
   For me, it was pasta. I went nuts. My first year or so learning, I was making an insane amount of pasta and was always stoked to eat the results, even if they sucked.
   
   
   
2. Learn from someone who actually cooks.
   
   Too many recipes have one-off ingredients you'll never use again. You want to learn how you can improve your food with what you already have (i.e. Don't worry about the imported, smoked, Himalayan pink salt yet).
   
   A person who understands food will give you so much more than a checklist and directions can. Understanding trumps a recipe every time. And you'd be surprised how little you need to make great food. A good cook knows how to do this.
   
   I was really fortunate to have a roommate who's Italian grandma was an amazing cook. He knew his shit. He would coach and correct everything I was doing with my horrible attempts to make pasta. It was fun and quickly showed me how to improve--all with no recipes. It showed me you can taste as you go.
   
   
   
3. Most cookbooks are shit for learning
   
   Today there a more books telling you what to do, and less telling you why you do it. The latter is the key.
   
   These two books really opened a lot for me regarding understanding food and how to make it better:
   
   I'm Just Here For The Food: Food + Heat = Cooking
   
   Cooking (James Peterson)
   
   Honorable mention:
   
   Ratios: The Simple Codes Behind the Craft of Everyday Cooking
   
   Cheers, and best of luck. Now go eat!
   
   
   Also Good Eats and Mind of A Chef are amazing shows to watch. We are so visual nowdays.

If your politicians are not doing what you expect them to do, it means the group you are part of is too inconsequential for them to be significant in their acquisition or hold on power.

So the resources that would be used to win the approval of your demographical block are used to win the approval of the segment of the population critical to their success.

Since their objective is to win they have to promise this critical segments more than the competition, so everything that is spent on you is wealth that their opponents can promise to the critical segment, winning over the politician that is trying to please you.

The solution is to find a party where your support is critical to their success. This holds true whatever your personal beliefs are.

If yo want a better explanation I suggest having a look at the book the dictator's handbook or if don't have time to read a big (and honestly) fairly heavy book this video is an interesting summary.

Sure thing! I wear very little makeup myself and like to think good skincare is a way to avoid "needing" makeup since the whole idea of makeup is just to enhance what you've already got going on.

Just for your consideration, I am 27 and white with normal to oily, fair/freckled skin. I am also about to sound like I am sponsored by CeraVe. Sadly I am not, but I fully enoucourage everyone to try them as they are a very gentle, high quality, and affordable line of skincare products.

Morning Routine

1. Cleanse with CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser.
   
   
2. Tone with Thayer's Rose Petal Witch Hazel with Aloe Vera. This toner is soothing, hydrating and makes your pores appear smaller. I apply with a cottonball and swipe it all over my face. Doing this also helps remove any makeup/sleep-crust/day-grime from your face that didn't come off when cleansing. Lots of toners advertise that they are pH balancing but don't actually have a pH low enough to accomplish this. I.e., do not spend $18 on a toner.
   
   
3. One pump of the Derma E Vitamin C Concentrated Serum I recommended to OP. Vitamin C has been absolutely amazing for my face and has really evened out my skin tone. Vitamin C is also an antioxidant that can stabilize free radicals, which helps prevent skin damage (skin damage = wrinkles and sagging). This product also contains hyaluronic acid, which is very hydrating. Applying acids to your face sounds scary, but fear not. The ideal skin pH is relatively acidic at around 5.5.
   
   
4. CervaVe AM Moisturizer with SPF. Always wear SPF during the day, even if you're going to be inside all day or it's cloudy out or whatever. Makes sure you're applying this to your neck as well. I use four pumps.
   
   Night Routine
   
   
5. Cleanse with CervaVe Hydrating Cleanser above.
   
   
6. Just after cleansing and while my face is still moist, I exfoliate with crushed aspirin. I use Bayer Back & Body because it contains both aspirin and caffeine. Aspirin has salicylic acid, which prevents and treats acne, and caffeine is antinflammatory and reduces both redness and dark circles. I do not suffer from a lot of acne -- when I do it is hormonal or stress-related. Since I started using this method to exfoliate at night any pimple that I get is gone within two days and with none of the redness and irritation I experienced in the past. Anyway, I just finely crush two Bayer tablets in a small ziplock bag and add a few drops of water to make a thick paste. Apply to the face using gentle, circular scrubbing motions. I typically then get another pump of the Cerave Hydrating Cleanser and continue to gently scrub for a minute before rinsing this off.
   
   
7. Tone with Thayer's as mentioned above.
   
   
8. Vitamin C serum mentioned above. I apply more at night -- three to four pumps.
   
   
9. I sometimes use a retinol cream at this point, but that's overkill if you're just getting into skincare. If you do eventually start using one, apply after you cleanse, tone and add serum but before your moisturizer. Do not use retinol during the day as it can make your skin more sensitive to the sun.
   
   
10. Four pumps CeraVe PM Moisturizer. I adore this shit; the consistency is amazing. I could be told it was made with aborted dolphin fetuses and I'd still use it.
    
    Sorry for the novel.
    TLDR: Cleaser, toner, vitamin C serum, moisturizer. Aspirin mask at night, always SPF in the day. Try CeraVe.
    
    Edit to say holy shit, gilded for nerding out over skincare? Thank you!!

I know your questions were rhetorical but I'd like to get a bit of insight into this.

> Also there are a lot of stories in the bible that have been proven factually inaccurate. If it's wrong about those why would I trust it's stance on whether or not there's a god, or who it is?

The majority of Christians don't believe in the bible literally. Specifically, Catholics make up about 2/3s of Christians and they treat large sections of the Old Testament as allegorical, symbolic, etc... A typical example would be the story about Jonah and the Whale. How do you feel about that, and about those Christian denominations?

> And lastly, as a westerner I can easily dismiss all religions besides Christianity because they were never presented to me as fact. If they're obviously false, what makes Christianity special?

I'd like to answer this question and then have your reflections. Christianity is different from religions like Islam and Mormonism. In those religions the main vehicle for revelation comes from a man who is claiming that God speaks directly to (usually) him and he is just reporting it. For Christians, the main message is coming from a guy called Jesus who claims he IS God, and then does stuff to prove it. A pretty good analysis of this is presented by Lee Strobel in The Case for Christ. While this isn't peer review evidence, the author provides many other sources and further reading. There is ample evidence for establishing the historicity of the New Testament, both from inside and outside the bible. If we can find that Jesus didn't perform those miracles he reported then it is easy to say he lied about everything. But if there is evidence that they occurred, wouldn't that require more attention?

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry you feel like you have to walk on eggshells when dealing with female colleagues. Offering an unsolicited suggestion, and I hope that's okay: I'm reading this book called "That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) About Working Together." Despite the title, it's written for both women and men to help them understand one another's communication / management / problem-solving styles. The author does a really good job (no pun intended) of acknowledging and addressing subtle yet pervasive gender dynamics that manifest in the workplace, and, refreshingly, makes a point of NOT demonizing men. (Which I think is a way healthier / more productive approach to the whole issue ... I've personally never understood how feminism expects to achieve equality by admonishing well-intentioned men instead of attempting to include them in the dialogue.... that's just me.) Rather, it offers nonjudgemental insight and advice to help men and women alike.

Anyway, I hope this isn't overstepping, as I obviously don't know your life. If you do check it out then thank you for giving it a chance, and I hope it changes your experience at work for the better.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0716GZT1P/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Feel free to visit those of us in /r/bipolar2, it's a supportive community.

I'm newly diagnosed but I've been dealing with the symptoms for a very long time. I use a combination of medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, good habits, lots and lots of data, and self-awareness. It's a defense in depth. Each one is a layer and a safety net.

Medication

Mood stabilizers reduce the highs and lows. If you start slipping, you might need to get some medications adjusted. Recommend having a specialist for this.

Antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds can deal with depression or anxiety that can come from bipolar.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Helps combat negative thoughts. If I know I'm getting stuck in circles of bad or stressful thoughts, I pull out a worksheet and spend 15 minutes identifying what's wrong with my thinking and come up with positive thoughts to counteract the bad. It doesn't make depression and anxiety go away but it does lighten my burden significantly.

The book I'm learning this from is called The Feeling Good Handbook. I strongly recommend having a therapist as a guide.

Good Habitats

I go to sleep at the same time every night, as much as possible. Sleep is absolutely critical to maintaining stability, so I make it a priority.

Routines are extremely helpful when you're not 100%. Relying on your brain's autopilot really helps. If you're not too depressed, keep up your exercise.

My best habit is to not let failure stop me. I have bipolar, I will fail and I will fail hard. Failure does not mean I give up. If I can salvage a victory, I better damn well try. This mental illness will not control me.

Lots and lots of data

On my phone, I have a bullet journal (stored in Apple Notes) and a mood tracker (Daylio app). Both of these things help me get stuff done and keep track of my life. Every important detail of my day is recorded. Every month I review both of these and look for patterns. What are things that affect me? How can I make my life better? And most importantly, what good things have I done?

This last one is critical to my success. There are so many good things my memory misses. Bipolar lies to me and tells me I'm worthless. My journal tells me I'm awesome.

I also use calendar alerts and timed reminders, to combat my time blindness.

Self-awareness

This is where routine, good habits, and data meet. Because I'm constantly checking and measuring myself, I always know what mood I'm in. I know what I'm capable of in each mood.

I know that when I'm manic, I overestimate my own ability. So my good habit is not allowing myself to commit to anything beyond what I can handle when I'm mildly depressed. I allow myself 1 weekly obligation outside work plus 3 bi-weekly ones.

If I'm heading into depression, I cut everything optional from my schedule and buckle down for a long, difficult road. I plan to do a lot of housework and reading. I plan meals with good friends at least once a week so I don't isolate myself.

This is a lot of trial and error but eventually you figure out what works and what doesn't.

How I feel today

Right now, I feel really good and I'm thinking that I don't need meds or therapy anymore. THAT IS A LIE. Routine saves me. I am not allowed to skip meds or therapy homework because I don't think I need them. I have seen what happens to my uncle when he skips meds. It's not pretty. I WILL NOT BE HIM.

Treating bipolar is like treating diabetes: take your meds, sleep, and eat right. Do not ever think you will not have it. It is life long and requires constant maintenance. The good news is it gets easier.

Congrats man!

I have 2 girls, 3 and 5, and I am 32.

So read the book and watch the movie what to expect when you're expecting.

Seriously it helps, and the movie is pretty entertaining and funny.

Here's some things I think others aren't going to point out since I'm late to this thread.

Most women have no idea how to breastfeed. My wife and I attended two 3 week courses offered by the hospital we were delivering at. They were actually covered by insurance! One was on the actual birthing process, which, lets face it is going to happen one way or another. The other was a breast feeding course. It laid out not only techniques for breastfeeding that subverted the common knowledge (and REALLY work), but also pointed out that you are given access to a breastfeeding assistant in the hospital (I forget the technical name for her position but she would come in and work with the mom on initial breastfeeding.) Colostrum, immune system, bonding, none of these things can be found in formula. All the same there's no shame in it if breastfeeding simply doesn't work. But it is WAY cheaper than formula as well.

You'll also want to invest in a shit ton of nipple pads (nipple shields) and nursing bras and a good pump if you're going that route. Shit ton of nipple pads. They're basically maxi pads for your nips for when you spring a leak.

https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-Nursing-Packs-Disposable-Breast/dp/B06XPHR7DF/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=breastfeeding+nipple+pads&qid=1556119448&s=gateway&sr=8-3

I point out all the stuff about this because I knew NOTHING about what all goes into breast feeding before my first kid, and I was shocked by a lot of it.

I would definitely plan time off, at least a couple weeks after the baby is born if not more. Take as much time off as you can. You'll always have work.

There's the possibility of a c-section, which is what my wife had. If that happens, she'll be prescribed narcotics to take home. You should control how many of those she has and when she gets them, she should also get laxatives. Every single time. Because narcotics block you up, and the last thing you want is to be constipated with a c-section scar healing. And if she takes too much (which is why you should be doling them out) she's definitely going to get constipated.

Get yourself whatever coffee maker is easiest to use. I prefer a keurig because it's so damned instant. Gonna be a lot of sleepless nights right off the bat. My wife takes over after I go back to work but the time I'm off we're basically bleary eyed half dead 24/7. So also have some shit to binge, and make sure you have a COMFY bed. My wife and me and my baby all just hung out in the bedroom for a week straight watching OITNB while she recovered from her c-section.

Your wife poops. You may have to witness and/or clean up after that depending on a lot of things. My wife got constipated and couldn't twist to wipe herself because of her c-section scar after she finally got it out of her. You just gotta man up and do that if it comes down to it, and don't make a face, and maybe make a stupid joke about it.

This is the single most important thing you'll buy:

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Sweet-Snugapuppy-Dreams-Cradle/dp/B01MQM7W6M/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=baby+swing&qid=1556119614&s=gateway&sr=8-3

Seems dumb and gimmicky but this thing has all the science man. Great way to transition a baby into the world of the real and out of the womb. It actually plays a muffled heart beat like she would hear in the womb, while mimicking womb movement. It rocks back, forth, and most importantly SWINGS. Which gives the baby the sensation of being back in the womb. This is the babie's sleepy time chair. This keeps the baby asleep when it needs to sleep instead of screaming because it doesn't feel like it's in the womb.

Learn how to do a badass swaddle. Burrito that baby up. It doesn't like free motion in its hands and legs. It likes to be in a tight little wad, because it has been for 9 months. I don't think babies are fully cooked when they come out yknow? They still want to be in.

https://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Maternity-Contoured-U-Shape-Bluestone/dp/B00DVKJXFE/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?keywords=Pregnancy+pillow&qid=1556119831&s=gateway&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1

Go ahead and get that RIDICULOUS pillow right away. I'd get it today. My wife....adored hers. It took the pressure off her hips at night and she could sleep like a baby on it. It's also GREAT for nursing. You will hate it. It eats the bed. But...this is about her.

It won't be long till you need the baby to have mobility so they don't freak out, and you'll want to keep them in a relatively small area. So get one of these bad boys:

https://www.amazon.com/Evenflo-Exersaucer-Door-Jumper-Owl/dp/B00O8RQYGU/ref=sr_1_38?keywords=baby+jumperoo&qid=1556119950&s=gateway&sr=8-38

Hot damn they're awesome. The kid is trapped, but they can jump around like crazy and it's fine. Probably won't need it until 6 months to a year after birth but.....trust me it's awesome.

That's all I can think of man. Good luck. Have fun. It's a crazy adventure.

My man - get yourself a safety razor and enjoy all of the luxuries that a single-bladed disposable razor offers without any of the downsides

The blades are so dirt cheap. Like they're 10 cents a piece if you buy it online.

Something like this: https://www.amazon.ca/Edwin-Jagger-Heather-Ladies-Double/dp/B00K6Z1R60/ref=sr_1_27?keywords=safety+razor+short+handle&qid=1567133206&s=gateway&sr=8-27

And blades like this: https://www.amazon.ca/Astra-Superior-Premium-Platinum-Double/dp/B001QY8QXM/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=safety+razor+blades&qid=1567133246&s=gateway&sr=8-5

​

The nice thing about a safety razor is when you want to clean out the hair, all you have to do is unscrew the top a few turns and it loosens up and gives you more clearance in-between the blade and the handle - the water washes the hair right out.

I go through about 1 blade a week, so my shaving bill is now literally 40-50 cents per month, and it is way better than disposables.

The Dictators Handbook: It definitely made me more cynical but realistic about politics. CGP Grey did a video based on the book so check it out if you’re curious.

The thesis of the book is basically all rulers/politicians can only survive by being selfish and paying off those who support them. In dictatorships, these are generals, businessmen and bureaucrats. In a democracy those are the constituents who elect you. Those who do not vote do not matter which is why in the US politicians cater to the whims of the Boomers rather than Millennials. Boomers vote, Millennials don’t. Doing something for millennials is something not done for boomers (aka the people who put you in power) and makes it more likely that boomers will elect someone who has their interests at heart. If you want a better explanation check out that video! It’s fantastic and I’ve watched it countless times.

Also Millenials, please go vote! If you’re dissatisfied with politics this is the only way to change things!

Witch Hazel is the ingredient: it's a natural plant extract. You can get it at the drugstore, but unscented witch hazel smells a bit funky to some, so I would recommend one of the Thayer's varieties which smells quite pleasant, and also includes aloe vera and vitamin E for extra moisturizing.

If I sound like an infomercial for W_E, it's only because of how pleased I am with DE shaving since making the switch. It's transformed a painful chore into a hobby I enjoy. And if nothing else, you can save a ton of money: the blades I use are currently selling for 11 cents apiece on Amazon and they last about a week (4-5 shaves each). I spent $11 on two years worth of blades - how much did you spend on cartridges?

Here are a few books I would highly recommend for men (and women as well):

• Wild at Heart by John Etheredge. For Men. The companion book for Women is Captivating. These are Christian books, discussing God's design for men and women. Even if you are not a Christian and have no desire to be, I think you may find some of the discussion very revealing or at the very least intriguing. These are not so much good "learn to communicate" books, as they are "understanding who I really am on a basic level" books.
  
  
• Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Another Christian Book, this one on the biblical view of marriage. Again, if you're not a Christian, I still recommend it as a resource for marriage. There are some fundamental principles of marriage that transcend religion that can benefit both spouses. For men and women.
  
  
• Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie. This book is required reading if you or your partner grew up in a household with an addict (parent or sibling), an abusive parent, or single parent/divorced home with high conflict. It is not faith based, for men and women.
  
  
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is a great book that breaks down how we're all different, and we get our needs in a relationship satisfied in different ways. Understanding what your partner needs is fundamental to having a healthy relationship.
  
  
• The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This is another great resource for understanding effective communication within an intimate relationship, whether you are male or female.
  
  After that, if you have more specific issues in your story, like childhood trauma, there are more specific routes to go down. I also strongly encourage enlisting the aid of a counselor, therapist, and/or pastoral counselor if you or your partner are struggling with childhood baggage.
  
  

I would start with an all around charisma program. Flirting is much, much easier after bringing your social skills up and improving your confidence.

I have used www.charismaoncommand.com

There aren't cheap, but worth it. They have a daily/weekly program combined with a forum and some coaching.

There are other books out there like "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Carbane.

​

https://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-Magnetism/dp/B008EWTL56

​

Both have excercises that you HAVE to do in order to get the improvements you want.

An integral part of flirting is recognizing when women are testing you, and then you being playful in response. For this, I recommend "What women want when they test men" by Bruce Bryans.

​

https://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Want-When-They/dp/B075G3BDH6/

I'll interpret "guy stuff" as "EDC stuff".

• A Flowfold Minimalist slim wallet
  
• A Zebra F-701 stainless steel pen with a Fisher Space refill so it can write anywhere. This isn't a "tactical" pen by LE/TSA standards, but is a solid stainless steel tube, if you know what I mean.
  
• If you prefer something smaller, a Fisher Space Bullet Space Pen and/or a Zebra Mini mechanical pencil TS-3.
  
• You might also want something to write on, and a 3-pack of Field Notes, Pitch Black Edition in Dot-Grid isn't a bad choice unless you're into fountain pens, in which case you'd be better served with a Clairefontaine or. Rhodia pocket notebook. (They will feather fountain pen ink less, resulting in finer lines.)
  
  Bonus item: This isn't under $30, but $45 wil buy you a Leatherman Skeletool, which is one of the most universally useful items I own.
  
  Edit: "EDC" stands for Every Day Carry. To paraphrase the /r/EDC sidebar, EDC means the essentials that I carry a daily basis. Things that I either use every day, or want to have with me in case I might need them. Sorry for the confusion, /u/ForgottenEcho and /u/Sanctitas.

> Guys, please check out the reviews for this shit on amazon. I'm dying laughing in my office!

For which product?

This was one for the NOW Foods psyllium husk capsules that got me to click "Add to Cart." It's by Maven Carraway:

>Quest For No-Wipe

> Recently I embarked on a journey for the holiest of holies. The holy grail of bowel movements, if you will: one which results in a "ghost wipe".
>
> A wise woman once said "Nothing is as overrated as sex, and as underrated as a good bowel movement."
>
> While I can't completely agree with that, I will say this: These pills are saving me tens of dollars every year on toilet paper.
>
> Tell me, human, does your day not seem brighter when you wipe, look at your toilet paper and realize it was a clean break?
>
> I take 4 in the morning and 4 at night with copious amounts of water and this seems to do the trick. Bravo, psyllium husk.

On that topic, I've yet to read customer reviews funnier than those for Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml on Amazon.co.uk.

Most men have 3 basic wishes, even though they are sometimes secret: to experience an adventure, to undergo a fight and to save a beautiful woman (the girl of his dreams). And of course - that the woman falls madly in love with him :D. So I guess that makes it 4.

You should give this book a read. http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Revised-Updated-Discovering/dp/1400200393.

Now - there is a lot of stuff in the book connected to a certain view of christianity. Sometimes it was a weird read even for me. And I don't agree with many ideas in there.

But if we are talking about daydreaming, what a man wants in his heart is basically the definition of that.

Edit: I accidentally a word

If she'll maintain eye contact with you with no conversation going on. If she tilts her head slightly down. If her knees/feet are pointing towards you when it'd be more comfortable for them not to be. If she's playing with her hair. If she's been touching you during the date. If she's been ok with you lightly/playfully touching her during the date.

None of these on their own will tell you. Just having her feet point towards you means nothing. Just having her head tilted down means nothing. But if she's playing with her hair, has been touching or is touching you, will maintain eye contact with you during silences in the conversation, you can probably kiss her. You should check out this book Body Language, this is where all my info comes from. There's a section on how different genders flirth. I credit the book with helping me hook up with more women than I would have otherwise. Also sometimes you just gotta take a chance and see what happens. Getting rejected for a kiss isn't really a big deal after you fail a couple times.

I used to suck at dating and interpersonal relationships in general, I'm still not the best at it but whatever. What helped me out a bunch was reading some books.

How to win friends and influence people

What every body is saying

Attached

I got this one before winter because I have the hardest time getting up in the dark as well. Its fairly basic it has brightness, 24 hour clock only I believe, alarm time, and one alarm sound. There are some higher end models with more features but this does the job. Only issue I've found is not being able to set alarms for individual days. So if you dont work on weekends or have different times you get up you'll have to manually change and/or shut it off.


Edit: But overall I would definitely recommend it or another model because it does make getting up more enjoyable and less startling.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000XU9NXW/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481661977&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=leatherman+skeletool&dpPl=1&dpID=41WoCmvX0YL&ref=plSrch

This is one is considered pretty good.
You didn't specify price range but these tools are usually used for all kinds of things. They are sturdy and will yield decades of usage.
If you look for something cheaper, try the Swiss army knifes. Also good enough but quality does have a price.

Nautica is on amazon for $13.

It's pretty good.

Kind of relevant reviews for veet hair removal cream, extremely funny - http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

Any time this thread comes up, I always recommend the same thing: this wash cloth. I will continue to forever recommend this thing, as it leaves me feeling cleaner than any other cloth ever has in my life. It's the ultimate hygiene game changer.

Not OP but I use this one. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00F0W1RIW/

I also find that making it warmer in your bedroom when it's time to wake up helps.

The Definitive Book of Body Language

Really taught me a lot about how people interact, and made me much more socially aware. Easy read, and very interesting.

Nautica Voyage

Costs $18 on Amazon and it's $80 in the mall. Smells fucking amazing, I have it.

Sounds like good old fashioned anxiety or depression. If you have health coverage, see a psychiatrist, who will almost certainly tell you to read The Feeling Good Handbook

I use a Salux wash cloth because I found that loofahs don't really do the job.

I use body wash, usually Dove for Men, but I'm trying out Palmer's coconut oil body wash because it was cheaper and I tend to have pretty dry skin.

Phone

Wallet

Bert’s Bees

Pocket Knife

Multitool (When clothing allows)

A good ink pen

Mini composition book for random notes and stuff

And a small “boo-boo” kit, NOT a full first aid kit, (mostly a few different sizes of bandaids, burn ointment, triple antibiotic ointment, Benadryl, and Ibuprofen.)

E:words and stuff

You asked for it and it is a very good book.

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People: Joe Navarro, Marvin Karlins

http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294/ref=pd_sim_b_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=17BAF81S1GAMHPRC0ABP

"Social skills" is conceived too broadly here. Empathy for example plays a decisive role in almost every social interaction which is not scripted and it has a biological basis, otherwise you wouldn't have some forms of autism or psychopathology, which can be inherited (the former) or caused by brain damage (the latter); but obviously empathy has to be learned and can be practiced too, as people can be trained to "read people", for example.

It's probably just like any other skill: Your biology determines how far you can develop it, your training determines how much it is actually developed.

https://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-Magnetism/dp/B008EWTL56/ref=sr_1_1?

Read the charisma myth or get the audio book. It's basically a book on being more thoughtful, mindful and connecting with people and it talks a lot about leadership styles.

I have this and it really helps me.

I liked this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061438294/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00

There is Veet for Men on the market as well.

The amazon reviews are hilarious

Reviews like these might make you think twice about applying these chemicals to your delicate rosebud.

Veet for Men, apply liberally..... Just read the Amazon reviews.....

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

If you want to understand your Dad read this book.

> I've thought about using Nair but it says not to use if on genitals.

Dude, read these first!

Japanese style [scrubbers] (https://www.amazon.com/Salux-Nylon-Japanese-Beauty-Cloth/dp/B000CSDDDG) and [Dr Bronners Peppermint Soap] (https://www.amazon.com/Dr-Bronners-Peppermint-Liquid-Soap/dp/B00120VWJ0/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1469870323&sr=1-1&keywords=dr+bronners) are FUCKING GAME CHANGERS!

Sounds like being a woman...

Seriously though, have you tried Veet? It's a hair removal cream - no waxing pain, and lasts longer than shaving. There's even a men's version if you have issues with pink things.

A word of warning though: test it on your skin before using it! If you're going to react, best you find out before covering your whole body. Also, I recommend you learn to exfoliate of you're going to remove hair (by any means), or the regrowth could be hell.