(Part 3) Best products from r/AskWomen

>What can I do to try to get confidence in my feminine side? What have made you more confident about being a girl?

I found that it got easier the older I got. When I was younger I didn't really seem to 'fit' with a lot of girls- zero interest in hair/makeup/clothes, and that seemed to be what most of my female peers thought about (I was wrong, but really didn't find that out until later in life).

One book that actually made a huge difference for me in thinking about being a woman was Women Who Run With the Wolves. I was in my late 20s when it came out, and although now looking at myths/stories from a female viewpoint is pretty common, it was a groundbreaker for me. For whatever reason, it 'clicked' that I was a woman, with a rich and varied history in story and myth and every society, and that was a good and positive thing.

Now I've embraced my 'girliness' to a certain extent. I'm still pretty lax about makeup/shaving etc., but I'm addicted to having nice lingerie next to my skin, just because it makes me feel pretty. And while it's been a while, having a real manicure/spa day always makes me feel awesome about myself.

I've also learned to treasure my 'real' friendships with other women. There aren't a lot of them, but the deep friendships I've had span decades now. It's almost funny when I look at my 'best' friends- 2 of them are the 'girliest' girls imaginable from the outside- almost always impeccably dressed and made up, and they like shopping, where it still makes me want to slit my wrists (a bit). But because we've always looked beneath the surface, it turns out that we have a surprising amount in common.

I'd also try to explore your sexuality a bit, while your boyfriend is away. Not with other people, but really set out to find out what you find sexy, and how your body responds. It's so easy to get stuck in 'non-sexual' mode when you're in long-term relationship/work/study mode, but you can often kick-start that through reading erotica, looking at porn (there are women-friendly sites out there), really going to town with masturbation. One of the most empowering things that I've ever done was to walk into a sex store and buy myself a toy-
'online' didn't exist then, but actually walking into a store, thinking "I'm sexual, and deserve a toy", was almost ridiculously empowering. Female sexuality is a pretty wonderful thing, and exploring how that works for you can be very freeing (as well as being awesome for your partner).

Of course! Here's my list of products with a short review of them along with price.

Benton Steam Cream. This steam cream is a great cream to put on after any toners/ampoules but before any heavier moisturizers (the philosophy of skin care layering is put on the thin stuff first and heavy stuff last). I really like this product, it helps with redness and acne-prone areas. This isn't a spot treatment for acne though, FYI. $13.99 on Prime

Mizon Acne Pink Spot: This is what I use for spot treatments on a zit. The important thing to note about this product is that you should let the layers settle. You should see a slightly clear yellow liquid at the top and an opaque pink at the bottom. I think the pink is calamine lotion. I take a Q-tip and put this on any breakout I have before I go to bed. This has helped minimize the size of those pesky pimples that haven't come to a head. I bought this 4 months ago and I barely made a dent in it. $14.33

Biore sunscreen. Ya'll. If you don't buy anything else, just make sure you buy sunscreen. It doesn't have to be this one, but sunscreen is probably the BEST thing you can do for your skin. Do it everyday, even in winter. Especially if you use any sort of actives like BHA or AHA or retinoids. I use Differin at night and Stridex in the morning and I always slather on this sunscreen. It has a lemon scent and it doesn't leave a whitecast because this is a chemical sunscreen instead of a physical sunscreen. Please keep in mind this sunscreen has alcohol in it to help it dry quickly so if your skin is alcohol sensitive, I recommend patch testing to be careful. $19.99 for a 2 pack.

TonyMoly Panda Dream Brightening Eye Stick: I'm blessed with very thin skin under my eyes so any missing minutes in my 8hour sleep routine will immediately show up on my eyes. This stick is great for helping brighten up that area in the morning. Use it as a primer under makeup. $6



This section is for makeup:


Sulwashoo Cushion A little pricey on the upfront cost but the refills are signifcantly cheaper once you get the container. I love this makeup. I'm not a fan of full coverage foundations so I skew more towards BB creams, but this is a nice cushion that give a tiny bit more coverage but still make your skin look like you're not wearing makeup. I use Medium Pink. Cute little container and it came with another refill cushion. $39.00

Skinfood Peach Sake Finishing Powder: Ok here me out. I actually use this product, which is labelled as a finishing powder for your makeup, as a dry shampoo. It's seriously the best dry shampoo I've used. I use a kabuki brush and dust it on to my oily roots and it dries up the oil without the powdered wig look, wasting half an aersol can, or the "dry shampoo smell". THIS SMELLS LIKE PEACHES, YA'LL. This box of finishing powder has been with me since February and it's not even half empty. I've never had a dry shampoo spray last that long for me. Get on this. $7.97

That's all for now! My laptop is about to die. :)

I have a fashion wig and more on my wish list. My hair is thin and brittle and not very pretty at the best of times. When I was younger I loved to have different colors and style but it's just not feasible anymore. I am 35 and will be wearing this with a herring bone braid for Christmas. My current wig that I love love LOVE is a cute asymmetrical bob in an almost burgundy red that I adore wearing.

There's a book about the 5 love languages. Haven't read it but I have heard, and agree with, the basic concept: different people need different types of reinforcement to feel loved. Some need to hear compliments and "I love you" often. Others needs gifts. Others need "acts of service" such as doing chores without being asked. Others just need time and attention, such as a regular date night. You may try explaining to your SO what your needs are and asking him what his needs are: how would HE prefer that you express your love for him. You might learn something really important and useful.

Amazon. AvidLove, specifically, but I've gotten a few pieces from other sellers.

AvidLove has good quality! This is my absolute favorite piece and the self tie makes for an easy fit! I gravitate towards pieces that have self ties or adjustable options.

I've also gotten some from forever21, but when buying lingerie from there it is best to stay away from pieces that have cups, in my experience. The body can fit perfectly but the cups have NEVER fit. Always too big or too small or they think my boobs are 800 feet apart from one another.

How does this post on AskWomen get approved when I just tried to submit one like 10 mins ago with that exact same wording, but changed "hair product" to "skincare product" and mine got auto-deleted.....??????????

Anyway...... I LOVE Amika Perk Up Dry Shampoo. It smells great and it's the best dry shampoo I've tried. It doesn't leave that white, powdery residue and gets rid of the oily-ness (?) without having to wash your hair. I try to not wash my hair every day, so I'll use this in between and it works great for me. It's cheaper to get on Ebay though. Same product, just not as pricey!

The lipstick thingy is: 22.5 x 12.5 x 8 cm
And each box will be: 16.5 x 16.5 x 16.5 cm

So one solo box wouldn't do it, but definitely two side by side will. The acrylic tray I have is bigger than the one I linked you so I can't be 100% BUT even it fits atop two of the boxes side by side. It does hang a bit over the side, but it's really not all that bad. I have since moved it though because having it stack on top of my drawers was getting too ridiculous height wise. But when I only had 2 drawers, it was more than enough. As I mentioned, I now do 4 drawers total in a 2x2 formation.


Another option is to get the set like this. These are designed for each other whereas technically the ones I mentioned initially are from two different manufacturers.

And if you think she might need a bit more...you can just buy an extra set of the drawers for her to place to the side.



I can only speak to what the interdesign drawers can hold, but they're large enough to hold 15-20 tubes of mascara and depending on the size of her lipstick/lipgloss....ditto for that too. I can place about 6 or 7 compacts inside a drawer or like 10ish tubes of primer. I recognize this is all Greek to you lol but yea. She might be able to have enough space with just this in the 3 drawers with top section option and MAYBE one of the Interdesign drawers. I suspect that if she can fit most of her stuff in just a couple of makeup bags....this will be more than enough space. Unless she has massive eyeshadow palettes. In which case, she might like something like this to store them upright on a desk or something.

I plan on tidying up today...so if it's clean, I'll try to remember to snap a picture for you in case you're more of a visual person lol.

I've saved a lot of money just by making my own iced coffee at home rather than running to Dunkin Donuts every morning for coffee (which turns into coffee+breakfast most days). I used to brew the iced coffee/cold brew (which can save you even more), but I took to buying jugs of cold brew that are absolutely delicious, and much quicker. Rather than spending like $30/week on iced coffee/breakfast, I spend maybe $10/week (when you consider creamer, splenda/sweetener). Still kind of pricey, but totally worth it to me.

I use this tumbler at Target, and it's really great! Worth the investment.

I wrote this to someone else too but want to keep spreading the sunscreen gospel:

I LOVE this Korean one by the Face Shop which fits your criteria and also doesn’t have alcohol so it never stings and I can put it around my eyes. It also has a lovely orange smell and dries pretty clear. Here it is on amazon.

Two cats + 1 very large dog owner. For the cats, we use disposable litter box trays -- I find that this helps with not only deodorizing, but also with preventing pee smell from infusing into the plastic cat box. (You can find them here https://www.amazon.com/Natures-Miracle-Disposable-Litter-2-Pack/dp/B0087Y5OIE/ref=sr_1_17?crid=1YO7JVAXQJ6ET&keywords=litter+box+liners&qid=1556994822&s=gateway&sprefix=litter+box%2Caps%2C161&sr=8-17) We clean the cat boxes about every other day, and throw out the whole box about every 7-10 days. We also make sure this room has plenty of ventilation (we usually have a fan going) and I like to mop the floor about once a week to wipe up any grime.

For the dog, we make sure we wash his bed frequently and he gets regular baths. He has wet food that I cannot stand the smell of, so we feed him outside.

Some other things that I think help: vacuuming regularly, because animal fur and dander can leave behind an odor. I have a roomba that has helped tremendously. I also am a fan of essential oils/candles/all the nice smelly stuff and usually will have something lightly scented in the room.

I got mine ages ago from Old Navy or something, but tons of stores have them! Here's a pair on Amazon that looks good.

[Link!](https://www.amazon.ca/Womens-Essentials-Stretch-Cotton-Boyleg/dp/B0006U5HDE/ref=sr_1_25?crid=1ELM1711P5EU2&dchild=1&keywords=shorts+under+dress&qid=1573879852&s=apparel&sprefix=shorts+un%2Capparel%2C156&sr=1-25)

Stores like UA, LuluLemon, and La Senza will probably carry them too, if you want something more brand-name. :) Enjoy!

Most people recommend The Five Love Languages when it comes to showing affection to your partner. Not everyone views gifts as appropriate gestures, and some people don't hear the words 'I love you' and automatically feel loved. Recognizing what your partner needs to feel appreciated, loved, etc. early on will help that person to see you as an affectionate person. It also helps when the other person knows what they need, but not everybody gets their point across.

Something that always works is listening and having compassion. You can't give your partner what they need if your mind isn't open to learning what that is.

Start using all natural hair products. No sulfates, parabens, dues, etc etc. most hair products you would find at the drug store are filled with chemicals meant to strip your hair (and make it feel really clean). Unfortunately, bleached hair has already been striped. You need to focus on resaturating the hair cuticle.

Use natural shampoo (or at least sulfate free) and a hair mask. Do not shampoo every day. Do not use heat on your hair. Sleep on a braid or a bun to combat frizz. Use natural hair oils or leave in products.

I'll attach some of my favorite products below.

[](Carols Daughter Black Vanilla Moisture & Shine Hair Smoothie, 8 Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PLQC4SY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LYJkybR71KMRB)

Carols Daughter Black Vanilla Moisture & Shine Hair Smoothie, 8 Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PLQC4SY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LYJkybR71KMRB

[](Art Naturals Argan Oil Hair Mask,Deep Conditioner 8 Oz,100% Organic Jojoba Oil, Aloe Vera & Keratin,Repair Dry, Damaged Or Color Treated Hair After Shampoo, Best For All Hair Types-Sulfate Free https://www.amazon.com/dp/B012P4D5XM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_o0Jkyb3G6KYYQ)

Good luck! I have very fine hair that falls below my breasts. I'm fortunate because I actually have a ton of hairs, so it doesn't appear thin. I bleached my hair from black --> platinum over about 6 months. Only
Kept it for a few months before I started going
Back to my natural. Took about a year to get my
Hair back into shape after I had bleached it. I washed twice a week, trimmed every split end off as I saw them, and used natural products with no heat application.

Amazon! AvidLove (on amazon) is pretty freaking great, most of my pieces are from them. The rest are from forever21, but I've had trouble with their sizing.

My asbolute favorite is this. The halter is self tie, which makes it super easy to make sure it's fitting you/your breasts well.

I am reading We Are The Nerds: The Birth and Tumultuous Life of Reddit, the Internet's Culture Laboratory. Its huge but makes for an awesome story. Anyone interested in learning about the birthplace of this site, inspiration for getting involved in a tech startup, or just a good read should definitely snag a copy. https://www.amazon.com/Are-Nerds-Tumultuous-Internets-Laboratory/dp/0316435376

I bought this elliptical.https://www.amazon.com/Stamina-InMotion-E1000-Compact-Strider/dp/B000VICRO8/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=2SA8JRC8MYR8E&keywords=stamina+inmotion+elliptical+machine&qid=1564248315&s=gateway&sprefix=stamina+%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExNENEMUlHVkNZMVkmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA1MjMwNDMyWEw1SVhHQ0xWUFlaJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTEwMDE4MzgzRkxaNk5OTk40TUVLJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Wow I dont know why the link is so long! Anyway, I wanted to work out at home because I was self conscious. Also I couldn't really afford a gym. This is a great elliptical for compact places. I had a really small apartment, so it it was perfect. I would start with about 45 minutes and go up as I started to get better aerobic health. I also did floor exercises about 4 days a week- sit ups, planks, squats. It was very simple and I felt great after. I ended up eventually going to a gym and running, then got into yoga. I lost about 60 pounds. I believe the key is to go slow and make small changes. Dont do anything too extreme. One thing at a time. Start with a workout you think you may enjoy. Then when you want a change from that, make a change.

Take a test. It's not physically impossible for you to have gotten pregnant; it's just very unlikely if you used condoms properly. But not impossible.

Another possibility is stress, which can make your period late. It could also simply be your wonky cycle being, well, wonky. Mine is wonky too. It's been like that for so many years, in fact, that I go on Amazon and buy these in bulk because it's way cheaper than buying the pee-on-a-stick kind. This is what that use in doctors' offices, and they're easy and I'm poor.

I'd recommend also going and getting on the pill. Your period will show up regularly (or not at all, depending on which kind), and it's an added layer of protection on top of condoms. If you really don't want to gamble with pregnancy, it's a good idea to take the pill.

Congrats on losing your V-card. I wish you many years of happy, healthy fuckin'!

I'm reading "Getting the love you want" and it's changed the way I look at relationships and why we choose the people we choose. I can't recommend it enough: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Love-You-Want-Anniversary/dp/0805087001

​

Also, The Book of Life by The School of Life is an amazing resource for understanding yourself and others. This website changed my life: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/?index

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Best of luck to all of you!

Amazon.com. They have many options from packs of just pregnancy tests to packs like the one I get, which has OPKs and pregnancy tests. For $16.95, I get 50 OPKs and 20 pregnancy tests and my husband and I have amazon prime, so I get it in two days without having to pay any additional shipping. I use a pint sized take out tupperware to pee in and I haven't gotten any on my hands (more than I can say for the time I tried an expensive test stuck in my urine stream).

On the one hand, yeah, I should be supporting smaller, more local businesses. On the other hand, I can pee on things as many times as I want during the day and it's still cheaper than a Starbucks habit :)

I don't have long, thin hair, but I do have major issues with flat hair due to buildup caused by hard water. Applying Amika Perk Up Dry Shampoo to my roots before bed (and sometimes again in the morning), and using Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray after styling have been my saving graces. The Oribe spray is pricey, but one can lasts FOREVER (8+ months for me), smells amazing, and works incredibly well!

> but women seem to be a lot more comfortable hugging their friends and stuff, as a general thing.

This reminded me of a passage in the book Being Boys, Being Girls, on page 66:

> Staff distinctly discouraged amorous relationships between pairs of boys, less so between girls and boys, and hardly at all between girls, revealing here, possibly unconsciously, a public homophobic attitude towards the boys while perhaps seeing the girls' behaviour in a non-sexual or sexually passive way.

This chapter was about ages 3-7.

One of the points that the book hammers is that we - us humans, the collective bags of meat that as a society/culture - treat boys and girls differently at all ages. Even how we hold and interact with newborns is different depending on what is/isn't between their legs. One example of how much people "need" the information about the sex/gender of people can be illustrated in the public outrage over the Toronto family that decided not to disclose the gender of their child. Random strangers who would never meet this child in real life were outraged that they were not being informed of the "crucial" details of the genitalia of this kid. One of my women's studies courses mentioned a number of countries where girl newborns had their ears pierced and earrings installed, in effect making it possible to identify newborns as male/female as early as their first day out of the womb.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/05/25/toronto-parents-hide-childs-gender-in-bid-to-for-neutral-treatment/
http://www.thestar.com/life/parent/2011/05/21/parents_keep_childs_gender_secret.html
http://www.autostraddle.com/canadian-parents-raise-gender-neutral-baby-by-not-revealing-its-sex-90186/

example of outrage:
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2011/05/25/barbara-kay-a-childs-biology-is-not-a-matter-of-choice/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/27/storm-gender-debate-rages_n_868131.html

So /u/Bteatesthighlander1, to address the point you've made, our culture tends to strongly discourage male-male relationships, while encouraging female-female relationships. Part of this is reflected in pornography - that 2 women are "hot" while 2 men are "not" (because "sex" requires a penis to finish, so 2 women together are just doing "foreplay"). Part of it is reflected in our legal system, where 2 men having sex together is criminalized, while 2 women having sex together is "the crime that dare not speak its name". Legend has it that Queen Victoria was so offended by the idea of lesbianism that she didn't even allow a law to be passed outlawing it because that law would have had to have a description of the crime (legal students would know this as "what are the elements of the tort/crime").

> How physical are you comfortable getting with your female friends?

However comfortable they are.

> Is it different for male friends?

As a guy? Totally. Even with gay-male friends, I stand there like Spock. Even when the thing they need more than anything is a hug. I'm terrified of being gaybashed again.

I am an artist and have always loved the intense colors and pigments of makeup on the palette of the face. The first time I really got in to makeup was with the book Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin, which I bought from a Hastings about 15 years ago. I had never seen such beautiful, interesting, tasteful makeup. Definitely learned how to do eyeshadow from that book. I wore makeup in high school, and then only got in to it again a year or so ago when I joined /r/MakeupAddiction.

Hollywood Dreams Made Real: Irving Thalberg and the Rise of MGM by Mark Vieria. It has really gorgeous pictures of 1920s and 1930s movie stars.

Also, Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin is kind of a classic, though my copy at least is a large paperback, not a large hardcover. Idk if that's an issue or not.

Armani foundation makeup is a must if you have uneven skin tone. It's light and doesn't feel like it's there. Expensive but worth it.

And this:
https://www.amazon.com/Making-Faces-Kevyn-Aucoin/dp/0316286850/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498674056&sr=8-1&keywords=kevin+aucoin+book