(Part 3) Best products from r/AskWomenOver30

Hoow. Well, I'm in the middle of re-reading The E-Myth, since it's a good refresher and I find myself having to scale up one of my businesses.

I'm looking at (re)reading Deep Survival next week because I'm going on retreat. I have saved it for a close reading and copious notes because I think there's something similar in the people who survive dangerous situations and the people who survive and thrive in starting small businesses.

I'm in the middle of The Social Animal, by David Brooks, which I adore. I think I'm going to keep it. (That's saying something, since I read voraciously, but I have only one shelf of books I felt was worth revisiting.) The way he's tackled the book is very interesting and it's incredibly deftly done.

I have Republic of Thieves out from the library, the newest in the Gentleman Bastards series. I don't know when I'm going to get to it. When I start a fiction book I tend to read it straight through, and nothing else gets done, so I'm loathe to start one.

I also have TapDancing to Work the new Warren Buffet autobiography, The Compass of Pleasure (which has been on my wishlist so long I've forgotten what I wanted it for) and Medieval Mercenaries a book about the history of mercenaries. I've always been very interested in mercenaries. I don't know why.

Today a friend recommended The Small Business Life Cycle which I already own, so it will be moving up on the list. I really admire the author, a US Army veteran and philosopher.

I'm currently reading Contact! Britain! and although I'm something of a pacifist, I'm finding great inspiration from the stories of women really pushing boundaries on what's acceptable for women's work.

The women who I admire tend to change often.

Always at the top of the list though is my sister because she's one of the most impressive people I've ever met.

I think every woman's "normal" is individualistic.

I shave everything off (legs, armpits, pubes) once week; legs and pits every other day during the summer. Twice a month I shave my arms and face because it feels really good, I like the exfoliation, and my hair grows slowly and soft. I pluck my eyebrows and upper lip when need be, so maybe like every couple of weeks or so.

I don't wear any makeup at all; I think the last time I did was maybe 4-5 years ago.

I only use bar soap with minimal ingredients in order to lessen the toxic burden. I try to treat my skin as delicate fabric, not a dirty floor to be scrubbed with harsh chemicals.

In terms of hair care, I have thick, wavy hair that I simply wash; no products, I just set my waves while my hair is wet so that it's not frizzy. I use diluted lemon juice a couple times a week to clarify my hair.

Always clean and fitted clothes, teeth flossed and brushed.

Two well-balanced meals per day, no snacking, 99% of my meals are homecooked with whole foods and full fat, nothing ever bottled/packaged or processed. I only drink black coffee, unsweetened tea, wine, beer, or water. I definitely allow myself dessert when I crave it, or eat junk food at parties/other people's homes if offered, but I do not buy it and keep it in my home. Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto is a good one to abide by. I walk everywhere (I live in NYC).

Basic philosophy: minimal, clean, natural, and groomed.

He's got an anxious attachment style (read about attachment theory! I think it will shine some light on your marriage). It's hard to reconcile these differences but it starts with him taking responsibility for his feelings and not putting them on you. Then, you seeing that this is part and parcel of who he is, and there are things you can do to ease his worries and get the freedom you want. This is a super accessible read if you want to dive into attachment theory and what you can do about it.

WOW, SHE SOUNDS AWESOME! I will read everything on her page. There are a few brave physicians who are speaking out against their own institutions and practices. One is Martin Makary, whose wonderful book, "Unaccountable" has given me A lot of the behind the scenes information that has helped me understand how these events unfold. I really appreciate his candor and refusal to participate in the closed doors of preventable medical errors If anyone is interested, his terrific book can be found here:

https://www.amazon.com/Unaccountable-Hospitals-Transparency-Revolutionize-Health/dp/1608198383/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1479348082&sr=8-3-fkmr0&keywords=Accountable+Marty,

Another wonderfully compassionate and kind physician, whose work is devoted to the intractable pain sufferer, is Forest Tennant, MD, who wrote a terrific handbook called, "The Intractable Pain Sufferers Handbook."

http://www.foresttennant.com/pdfs/Intractable-pain-guide-to-pain-free-hours.pdf

Most of my ability to cope has come directly from his book. Anyone who suffers from chronic, intractable pain would benefit so much from this handbook, I believe. He has devoted his career to working with us, the type of patient with whom many physicians prefer not to work, (or consider us unwanted patients), as we generally have no cure and are usually just trying to minimize our suffering. We can be very depressing as patients, understandably.

Trunk Club! I’ve been using Trunk Club for the last couple years and it has really helped me figure out my style. You get a stylist (the link will give you mine, who is amazing) and they’ll talk to you about what kind of clothes and styles you like, get your measurements and budget, and send you a box with a bunch of options that you can either keep or send back. It’s super convenient and my stylist sends me things that she knows will go with other pieces I own. I hate shopping and always end up buying something that’s just ok because I’ve already put so much effort into going to a store and trying things on. With this its easy to just keep the things that I love because I’ve put no effort into picking anything out.

Also, the book How to get Dressed has very valuable information on how clothes should fit, how to take care of them, what items are with tailoring, and so much more. I learned a LOT from that book.

Saying that you're "too sensitive" is a clear sign of a verbal abuser.

If he cared about you, he would defend you in front of his friends, not embarrass you.

You deserve better. Your SO should build you up and make you feel good about yourself.

I stayed married to my abusive husband for 21 years, always thinking that things would get better. They didn't, and the constant verbal abuse wore away at me, until I was a very broken person.

I highly recommend this book. It will validate your experiences, and hopefully, give you the courage to stand up for yourself, which probably means getting out of this relationship.

Good luck. PM me any time if you need support.

I think this makes me "bougie" (is that still the word the kids use?) but for me ain't nothing else but L'Occitane 20% shea butter hand cream. Expensive as hell for lotion, but it sinks right in and doesn't turn into silicone-based slime when you wash your hands.

There are probably cheaper alternatives, but feeling like a fancy old french lady a few times a day is worth a few bucks, too.

Or, any lotion with some AHA is great for brightening up skin tone and smoothing things out. I use this on my feet and elbows.

I'm 46 now and married, but I was single for a while in my late 30's. I'd say the only real difference in dating nowadays is the more or less ability to be constantly connected. I'm mostly talking about texting. I had teenage kids, so was very well acquainted with it when I started dating again, but I can see that that might not be the case for you.

In my experience, sex is pretty much still the same, though with possibly less hair. However, it does sound like you're a bit sexually inexperienced/sheltered. I suggest you might want to read She Comes First. If you feel that isn't enough, you can also go with The Guide To Getting It On.

I had pretty bad hormonal acne that was exacerbated by my birth control when I was younger. I went on medication for it in my twenties for but within the last couple of years I've found a good skincare routine has helped even during periods, more so than the medication.

I agree with /u/neish about a solid skincare routine (shout out to /r/SkincareAddiction) and I believe they meant hydrocolloid bandages for helping with acne, (there may be something cool about hydrocortisone for pimples that I am unaware of, though). I've used these by Nexcare and they've worked well.

The book, "The Power of a Positive No" would help you a great deal. It's by an internationally famous negotiator (Ury), who says if you can't say "no," you can't really say "yes" either. He shows you how to say "no" in a way that preserves the relationship. Basically, say what's important to you that you have to say "no", then say an unambiguous "no", then propose something to continue the relationship. It's worth a read.

I work from home running a small service business. I have numerous health issues but I have the advantage of taking time off if needed. Starting your own business takes motivation and determination, but if you have marketable skills you can do it. I started my business when I was 40. It has nothing to do with my education but I did draw on many things learned in school and in other jobs to start and run the business. Here's a good book for you: https://www.amazon.com/Second-Acts-That-Change-Lives/dp/157324368X

Agree with everyone here but on the sunscreen note- I’ve been using Avene tinted facial sunscreen and it’s amazing! Mind you I don’t wear makeup but I feel like I don’t need to with this!

And drink lots of water!!

https://www.amazon.com/Eau-Thermale-Sunscreen-Resistant-Non-Greasy/dp/B07RGT9YTK

I read this book in my 30s. I really like the look of beautiful natural gray, and sometimes when people try covering it, it makes them look even older imho. I have really long dark hair which is now like 10% gray. I hate the texture my hair gets with permanent dye, so I use ammonia free demi that washes out in a couple months(I use dyes close to my natural color). So I dye it like 3x a year. One day I'll let it be all gray, not sure when that will be but for now letting some shine through is good for me. (saw my first gray at 21, and now am 42, btw.)

> Is some stubble better, of should I shave it right off?

Go smooth. Look tidier. And again, moisturize! At your age, you might as well moisturize everything from the neck on up. It'll keep your skin looking fresh and feeling good. My lawfully wedded chrome-dome recommends this product: Neutrogena Hydro-Boost Water Gel

I am about the same height and weight as you and just bought this dress for an upcoming wedding. Fits well, hides the pooch, and shows off those runner's legs a bit. :) There are a lot of other cheap/cute options if you look on the products related to that item as well. Good luck!

[This is by far the best lube I've found so far.] (http://www.netpharmacy.co.nz/sylk-natural-lubricant-40g?gclid=CIr5hZe529ACFYqUvQodFwoPYw) I haven't seen/tried the others you mentioned.

This link on amazon isn't the same packaging so I don't know if it's the same stuff.

It comes in a small bottle 40 grams but you don't need much. Which is good because it's not the cheapest out there. But then good things are not normally cheap.

If it were me, go with the Zojirishi Neurofuzzy or the airplane tour. Or better yet, plan out an adventure for the two of you and have a romantic picnic.

Skip the Keurig, I'm "meh" on the earrings. I got beautiful earrings from my boyfriend once, and it broke my heart to lose one :(.

read this book

It is called "The Four Agreements"

One of the agreeements is - Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you.What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.

We take things personally when we agree with what others have said.
When we do not agree, the things that others say cannot affect us emotionally.
When we do not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior cannot affect us.


I have a lot of experience with men because of my age - some men just say the stupidest things, but it has nothing to do with you!!! It took me forever to learn this!!

You are being cast in a movie - You are being cast the way you are right? Did they tell you to get a trainer? Or has he? Exactly.

He is used to yoga teacher bodies. But he is with you.....Who is this about....?

Normally i go for latina girls with big boobs and no tattoos.....and again....who the fuck cares??? LOL

It is so freeing to not let these people rent space in my head.

Be free.

That's a great way to visualize what I've tried to practice for years -- what someone says to you is a reflection of themselves and not of you. Don't accept it. I got a lot from reading Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements, and how it guides you to detach from others negativity.