(Part 3) Best products from r/Parenting

Well, first of all, being yelled at doesn't sound very conducive to sleep, but you probably know that already :)

It would be helpful to know what your daughter is doing instead of going to sleep in her bed - is she trying to sleep in your bed? is she up and running around, trying to keep playing? is she trying to stick close to you? Does she seem anxious, is she crying, is she laughing? Is she staying in bed but unable to actually relax and fall asleep? Those are all different problems that will have different solutions...

I'll repost some general suggestions I made in another recent thread, hopefully something in here is helpful:

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• Make sure you're not telling her to go to sleep - that's not physically within her control, and trying too hard to fall asleep can of course make it harder. The expectation should just be lying quietly in bed doing something relaxing.
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• Keep a consistent bedtime routine that includes tucking her in and spending some time with her before you go off to do your own thing. You might talk about what happened that day, name things you're grateful for or looking forward to, or discuss what you want to dream about that night (see next point).
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• Explain to her that thinking about something at bedtime tells your brain that's what you want to dream about, so if she wants to have happy dreams, it's time to start imagining happy things! Ask what she wants to do in her dreams and help her imagine the details. You might invent a special place for her to visit in her dreams, like a treehouse or a fairy castle or whatever she comes up with. Have her close her eyes and imagine it with you, making sure to incorporate all the senses (what can she hear there, what does she smell, etc). You can even agree to "meet up" with her in your dreams and play together!
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• Give her something relaxing to do in bed before she falls asleep instead of just lying there. Looking through a book, listening to calming music, listening to an audiobook, or imagining what she wants to dream about are all good options. Try teaching her some relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation; this site has some cool kid-friendly ideas. You could even look into a kids yoga class to help teach her some techniques, or check out a book like Goodnight Yoga. There are also some really cool books with guided relaxation stories you could read to her at bedtime, such as Starbright, Imaginations and Aladdin's Magic Carpet. Also some audio recordings of guided relaxation for kids such as Still Quiet Place, Indigo Dreams, and Bedtime Meditations for Kids.
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• Ask her what SHE thinks would help her stay in bed and feel more comfortable going to sleep - maybe leaving a hall light on, or adding some glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling, or having you come by to check on her every 10 minutes until she's asleep? Of course you don't have to agree to everything she asks for, but you want her to feel like she's part of the problem-solving team with you.
  
  Best of luck!

I don't usually follow \r\parenting but my husband saw your post and suggested I respond. I can hear myself in you sometimes.

I can relate to where you're coming from. I have a daughter with Sensory Processing Disfunction. She. doesn't. stop. moving. EVER. and no. It's not normal 2 year old behavior. (I am so tired of hearing that.) She is so busy busy busy she was having trouble learning speech. She tested as a 15-18 mo when she was 24 mo. It also doesn't help that I'm an enabler. I gave her whatever she needed before she would have to ask. I also have some ongoing health issues that make me fatigued from time to time which makes parenting an active child a challenge.

There's a ton of good advice in the comments so far. I agree with you needing to work on you first. It's super important for you to get the help you need to be mentally capable to raise your son. Kids are hard. Even harder if you're struggling with health issues.

My advice is going to focus on your son since you've gotten so much advice for you. First I need to say, good for you for getting him involved in EI! That's a huge step. Now you need to make sure you're using them to their full potential. I'm going to base most of my assumptions that you're in the US. If not, some of the advice won't fit.

I sincerely hope that your son is getting Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy, maybe even Developmental Therapy for the social issues. It sounds like he definitely needs it. Because my daughter was so delayed in speech, they were able to give her Speech, OT and Developmental Therapy. I'm in the state of IL. I'm not sure if your state works the same way. They have helped her so much even in 6 short months.

We too are already talking about pre-school. That in and of itself is super scary. It's hard to acknowledge your baby is growing up! She's getting evaluated by the school district in June. Has your EI coordinator talked to you about when your testing will be? The school district will do their own set of tests and create a IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for him.

(One thing I just thought of... Make lists of questions so when you're talking to people like the OT or Speech or EI or docs, you've got something to refer to and don't have to try to remember. When you're not feeling yourself, it's especially hard to be on the ball.)

Routines

Routines have been a huge help for my daughter and I. I am naturally a person that needs to know what's coming next. I hate surprises (although I'm getting better about it as I get older). The biggest thing is nap time. For us, nap time actually starts about 30-45 min before I want to put her down. I try to do it at the same time every day. Because she is so physically active, I have to make sure we do some "heavy work" at least 45 min before I want to put her to sleep. For her it is typically jumping on her trampoline. She also has a small wagon I brought inside that I fill with bean bags for her to pull around. After the heavy work, she gets a 30 min TV show. Then diaper change and a book. We were having some trouble with her laying down after we switched to a toddler bed. We bought a clock that lights up. It took about 2 weeks of being super consistent (and listening to her screaming) but she now doesn't need it at nap time any more. We still have it set in the morning. Momma needs her sleep!

Heavy Work

Heavy work is super important for kids with sensory issues. I would think it would help any child that is overly active. They love that feeling of being pulled to the earth. My LO loves being smushed and squeezed. When I give her a hug, I make sure its extra squeezy. :)

We have one of those houses with 2 dining rooms (why are there 2? I have no idea). One of them has been turned into an indoor playground for my daughter. The winter was so brutal that I needed ways for LO to get out her energy. She's got a trampoline, balls, sit-in-spin, and rocking horse. If you have the space, maybe you could include some of these for your son.

Speech

For my LO, we started signing with her once we realized there was a problem after her initial testing. It was a couple of months before she started Speech Therapy through EI and we were trying to be pro-active. We found the TV show "Signing Time". I don't know what it is about this show, but for my daughter it seemed like it opened the floodgates. She was suddenly saying new words while she was doing the signs. It was a miracle for us. They have a few clips up on YouTube. We bought the DVD sets from their website but you can see if your local library has them or something like them.

Consistency

For us, consistency is key. There are always tantrums when I try to implement anything new and sometimes they happen over things that we've been doing for ages. This is the part that goes with being 2. But at the same time, I feel like it's typically a little extreme. Mostly because she knows she should be able to tell me what she wants but can't. It's hard but you have to try to be strong. One thing to think about is if you want things to continue as they are. A week of tantrums to get him to sit at the table to eat like a normal child is worth it to me.

Good luck. Feel free to PM if you need any more advice. Just know that there are people here willing to help and support you.

We work very closely with a dietitian for our 13 month old son (he was a preemie and has a lot of issues with eating/textures of food/swallowing/etc). We also work with a Speech Therapist and several special doctors. Not ONCE have any of them ever said that we should force food on our child or continue to push things he doesn't like and refuses to eat. This promotes anxiety and fears about eating that are unnecessary. I am by all means NOT a professional, but I have been working with them for over a year. Here are my suggestions:

1. Always OFFER the food you want your daughter to eat. Offer it several times before giving up on it (not in one day....over the course of a week or two). Sometimes babies just don't like certain foods. We are adults and have willpower. We understand that even if broccoli doesn't taste as good as corndogs, it is the better choice. Obviously babies and young children can't reason like that. Try preparing it different ways. We found out that our son LOVES avocado if it has a little bit of pure sugar mixed in (like 1/2 tsp per one whole mashed avocado).
   
   
2. Let her eat it off of your plate. This has been a BIG trick for our son and has helped a lot. If he won't eat it, we put some on our plate and then all of the sudden he wants it.
   
   
3. Let her PLAY with her food. Offer foods during non meal times. Let her explore them. If she wants to roll an apple like a ball let her! Make art with the food. Let her finger paint with pudding, yogurt, fruit juice mixed with a bit of corn starch. Yes, it is messy, but it makes snack time fine and stress free for her. Let her pull apart broccoli, celery, and other veggies and explore them. She might just stick one in her mouth! it doesn't mean she will love it, but at least she can taste different things. Food art is a very good tool for picky eaters. When you put food on her plate, make designs. Make flowers out of berries and leafy greens, draw faces on fruits and veggies with dipping sauces, etc.
   
   
4. Try to use things like V-8 or home-made veggie and fruit juices (watered down juice or smoothies made with yogurt, fruits, and veggies) to get in those nutrients she needs. You can even add broccoli and spinach and she won't taste it.
   
   
5. Take her to a local farm where you can pick your own fruits and veggies and let her help! Or take her to the produce section of store and let her help pick things if there isn't a local farm.
   
   
6. Try different temperatures i.e. frozen peaches, bananas, or berries (in a mesh baby feeder like this one to prevent choking issues: http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Pack-Fresh-Feeder-Colors/dp/B000GK5XY2 which are especially good for teething time!) then try warm peach or berry compote (this recipe is good but I don't I use less brown sugar or none at all and it is still good because of the juice and obviously I don't use brandy! http://www.recipekey.com/therecipes/Peach-Compote) and room temperature diced peaches or bananas.
   
   Our pedi and dietitian told us that babies go through phases. If you can sneak in the fruits and veggies that is best, but sometimes you just can't and you do the best you can and just offer them at every meal.
   
   Don't make meal times stressful. If you are stressed about what she is or isn't going to eat, she will be too!
   
   My only disclaimer is that if you are very concerned talk to your pediatrician. She may be able to recommend something else or refer you to a nutritionist. All that we have been told indicates that At this age it isn't a HUGE deal what babies eat as long as they are growing at a good rate (not too slow, not too fast) mostly because they will never overeat.
   
   One final note: Be very careful with hot dogs as they are a top contender for choking hazards. if you don't already please consider removing the skins and cutting each hot dog slice into quarters.
   
   If you have any more questions or would like to talk to me, please feel free to send me a message. Good luck and don't worry too much. It is obvious you are great parents because you took the time to ask!

One of my wife's friends wrote this one...not a bad book, I suppose. Lots of good information about pregnancy, things that are good to know from the dad's perspective.

The one your wife is going to read, and you should also read, is the classic What to Expect book. That's sort of the "pregnancy bible", lots of really good information in there, most women read it.

Another one that I really got a lot out of is If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Be OK. That's written by an ER doctor who talks about how to tell the normal illnesses and maladies that aren't worrisome from the ones that you actually do need to be concerned about. It's saved my wife and I from a handful of ER/Doctor's Office visits.

The final one is the one I recommend over anything else. If you buy no other books/dvds, buy this one. It might save your life, sanity, and/or marriage:

The Happiest Baby On The Block

I'd recommend both the book and the DVD, but if you only get one, get the DVD. Hell, many libraries carry it.

Any and every parent I know who has watched it basically thanks Harvey Karp for making the first 3 months entirely bearable. It teaches you how to soothe a screaming infant, quickly and calmly...it makes for a happier child, and happier parents. Buy it, or rent it, or whatever...just make damned sure you see it before d-day.

Outside of that, a quality swing that plugs in (not one that runs on batteries...you will spend the difference in cost between the two on batteries) can be great. Our little girl, along with a few of our friends kids, all loved the Ocean Wonders one by Fisher Price...although for whatever reason, it seems to be ridiculously expensive on Amazon. I believe we paid 150 or 200 for it brand new. Worth every penny...cheap swings are just that: cheap. They aren't comfortable, they aren't well made, and they don't work for particularly picky infants (e.g. my daughter). I have a few friends who had more laid-back kids who have said that the cheaper swings work, so if money is tight that's something you might wait on until you meet the child:)

For most baby stuff, you get what you pay for. The stuff that works is going to be expensive because it works. I tell most of my friends that my experience is that you buy the best rated thing you can afford (just because it's expensive doesn't necessarily mean it's good, always find product reviews!).

Anyhow, through the pregnancy, the best thing you can do is just be interested and involved. Try to remember that your wife/partner might seem to lose her mind a few times, and it's mostly hormones...so let the crazy slide a little bit more than usual.

Other than that, just square yourself with the idea that your old life is done, and you now have a new one. Everything changes with kids, and the more OK you are with that, the better you will be as a dad. It's the best change you could ask for, and most dads will say that they wouldn't go back to the life of video games and nightly partying for anything in the world now that they are dads. It's worth giving all of that up a million times over. But don't fight it. Don't tell your wife that she can handle being home with her one-month old alone because you're stressed and need some time with your boys. Don't say that you can't get up in the middle of the night because you have an early tee time. Don't tell her that you shouldn't have to help clean up the kitchen because you worked all day.

That kind of stuff comes naturally to most guys, and I certainly hope it does for you. You find that when you just let the change envelop you, instead of trying to shoehorn your old lifestyle into your new life, things are easier and much more fun. The change is good, and it is inevitable. Fighting it just makes you, your wife, and your child miserable.

• Baby-proof the shit out of your house. Every cabinet, every stair, every plug. That way you can relax on the couch and your little crawler, walker cannot get into any trouble. We have 4 gates in my house. My kid could try with all her might to kill herself, but she wouldn't be successful.
  
• Your baby won't remember this time. That's a good thing. Don't beat yourself up about what you're not doing. What you are doing is giving him a forever buddy. They will be closer than close, and thicker than thieves. You haven't messed anything up.
  
• Invest in a baby jail.
  
  
  
• Have family come later--we had support in weeks 2-6 this time, and the emphasis was wearing out the toddler, and letting me sleep with and nurse the baby.
  
• If you can do it: have another wave of support set up for the 4 month sleep regression. It feels so much worse with 2.
  
• You'll be able to get them napping at the same time--don't worry about that. The first month, the baby will sleep anywhere and everywhere.
  
• Get your older baby used to hand washing, as soon as you can. My second born was sick a lot b/c she was born in December, during the worst flu season on record. We avoided the flu, but she got cold after cold from her sister. Persistent hand washing, and keeping the oldest's fingernails short helped.
  
• Your second baby will be better at putting him/herself to sleep... pretty much out of necessity. I'm able to put down my baby and walk out of the room (unheard of with my first!), because I have to tend to my toddler.
  
• Teach your oldest sign language. He will be right in the middle of trying to speak and not being able to yet. Sign language will help you communicate without a lot of frustration. Pick up "baby signs" to start, and then add on books as he masters the first signs (it took until my daughter was a year to really get the baby signs down. By 14 months, she had a sign language vocabulary explosion, and could ask for water, juice, to go in her stroller, to sleep, bathe, and for lots of different types of food. It helped us avoid many breakdowns and tantrums.
  
  The bad:
  
  
• Your partner and you will be like passing ships in the night for a while. Two babies: two parents, two baths, two bedtimes... you'll both have your hands full. Try your best to connect with a hug each day.
  
• There were many days where showering wasn't possible due to one baby or another needing me. I've had to jump in with my toddler a couple of times--once to her extreme emotional dismay, and another she didn't mind since we used mama's bathtub (the SPECIAL bathtub).
  
• Pregnancy is harder. Your body is looser. You'll feel the aches and pains earlier, The nausea is more intense. You won't feel connected like you did with your first because you'll be so busy with your first.
  
  The good:
  
  
• Birth is much better. Dreamier, even. I had a hard first birth, a very long labor, and was too sore to walk without pain for 6 weeks. The second birth was gentle, quick, and I was walking without any pain days after birth.
  
• You will be so confident this time around. You'll know what works, what works for you, what works for your family.
  
• You'll already be in the shit, so it won't feel like going backwards. And when you're out, you will be out (if you want to be).
  
• Your oldest will love being big brother, and he will love his sibling. Being a big boy helper is so exciting! Pushing a stroller is fun! Showing baby how to do things is thrilling! Soon you will be able to sit back, in your baby proofed home, and watch your similarly-aged children entertain each other like magic.
  
  You can do it. It will be hard. Very hard, but then suddenly, it won't be. And you won't even remember what life was even like with a family of three, because your children will love and need each other. It will be like you've been waiting for this child, and life is unimaginable without them--it happens so fast, and it is so worth it.
  
  Good luck!
  
  And now that I have a 3 year old and 18 month old:
  
  
• Your second kid will make you feel like you don't know WTF you're doing sometimes. You will learn. Be gentle on yourself.
  
• Miralaax for constipation saved my life with my second kiddo. It is non-stimulating, and was suggested by our pedi around month 8. If your kiddo is having trouble pooping (esp if formula fed), this is a very helpful option to ask your pedi about.
  
• Two small kids in the bath--woo that was dangerous for a minute. There are some sit-me-up baths that will help facilitate a safer bath with two for your little one. I found a mom who had this bath seat from germany. If you order it new, be aware it will take a while to get to the US. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it definitely helped!
  
• I had PPD/PPA(gression), and it took me until almost a year after having my second baby to get on medication. I was in heavy denial, even in counseling, thinking that the meds would change me in some fundamental way. THEY DO NOT. They help you shake off that terrible voice in your head (mine sounds like my mother) telling me that I'm not doing a good enough job. If you are feeling like a total failure, are angry at the whole world--that's also postpartum depression, but it's expressing itself in anger. Please, please, don't suffer. Zoloft has saved my last pregnancy from being a complete torture. I'm looking forward to seeing how post partum is without the depression!
  
• My kids start sleeping through the night around a year old. So that's how long it took for me to feel like "we made it" through the hard part. Naturally, I got pregnant around 10 months PP.

I don't have kids this old yet but honestly. I'd sit down with her and have a good talk..she's at an age i think where she's just feeling insecure slightly clingy and attached to you (possible abandonment issues from dad?) and terribly ignorant about things within sexual nature.

she's 13 so i think its time you talk about sex with her in terms of how it's something adults do. How those toys are for you and that it doesn't mean you need a man. Humans just have basic needs and theyre totally healthy, sex is healthy not disgusting just as long as you are careful with your partners and friendships are healthy too and that if she loves you she will have to accept that you need friends in your life and not just her though she'll always be number 1. How she needs to stop being so nosy and just trust you as momma and respect you more. You need to bring this stuff up as well with her therapist assuming she still goes to one. And i agree with other people this isn't healthy. You two need to have hobbies, friends and time for yourselves, boundaries and rules definitely need to be set in place, she can not keep trying to regulate what you can and can't do like she's YOUR parent, and you need to stop feeling apologetic over it. I think the only good thing i see is that she feels comfortable enough to ask you things, thats great! Because most kids wont talk to their parents at all and ask their friends instead. So make sure when you talk to remind her that you love how she can come to you to talk about anything and that's why no matter who comes and goes from your life and hers that you'll always be there for her.

Also i plan on getting these for my daughter when she's older around your daughter's age, she's still a little one though so itll be a while :)
https://www.amazon.com/Feelings-Book-Revised-Keeping-Emotions/dp/1609581830/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1609581830&pd_rd_r=MTHPR5XD5SZTD38JZA7X&pd_rd_w=KEPlY&pd_rd_wg=hBtsI&psc=1&refRID=MTHPR5XD5SZTD38JZA7X

https://www.amazon.com/This-Normal-Revised-Questions-Answered/dp/1609589068/ref=pd_sim_14_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1609589068&pd_rd_r=TX19F1WHG257VDCE3WF1&pd_rd_w=wNkUa&pd_rd_wg=9GR1i&psc=1&refRID=TX19F1WHG257VDCE3WF1

https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-Revised/dp/1609580834/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1516748967&sr=8-1

If he's getting mobile, baby gates to block unsafe areas/stairs? Babyproofing type stuff in general became important for us around that age.

Some people like exersaucer/jumpers and some people don't. I am a fan when they are used for a limited time daily and kid isn't just parked in them all day. They are a nice way to keep a mobile baby occupied and using his energy while you need to chase the 5 year old, prepare a meal, what have you. The argument against (overusing) them is that it can be bad for hip development, walking etc., but I read a great article by a PT professional that explained this but endorsed limited daily use. I got our exersaucer on Craigslist for $20, and then sold it on Craigslist for $20 when we were done with it.

Edited to add, one more thing - these mesh teethers were awesome not just for teething but for distraction too. I would freeze strawberry or peach slices and pop them in there, then hand to baby. He'd toddle around munching on it (mesh prevents them from getting big pieces out) and, if he was teething, of course the frozen fruit was cold and helped with that.

One more thing, I could not do parenting without a white noise thing in baby's room. Your new foster baby may or may not be into it, but you could always pop a white noise app on your phone for a couple days, see if it helps him sleep, and then if so get a white noise machine for the room. Some double as night lights.

Second edit, is he eating solid food yet? I am in love with these bibs, we only have one but I wish we had more. The thing is, they just make cleaning up baby and high chair much faster and easier.

Third edit (I'm sorry, I keep thinking of things that made our lives easier!) - a kid carrier. It might be nice to be able to go out to playground or walk with the 5 year old but have your hands free, you know, and that way new baby still gets stimulation of sights and sounds of the walk along with that extra bonding time. Wearing the baby might be helpful for that. We used a Baby Bjorn from about 6 weeks - 10 months, but at 9 months I wouldn't bother buying one. I hear an Ergo can be used a long time, but we chose a Kelty carrier because we hike a lot and wanted something that could really be stable and ergonomic through the toddler years. Another thing to save money and buy from Craigslist - the style we have is $139 new but we got an older similar model for $35 on Craigslist and it does the job.

> he became upset and whined that he "needs tv to fall asleep".

This is probably true. I've been reading Ferber's book and he talks about these sorts of situations. Both unwanted sleep associations (what your son likely now has with the TV), trouble with limit setting (your husband it sounds like :/) and what a good bedtime routine looks like.

On the sleep association if your child (or even an adult) always falls asleep in a certain situation, place, with someone present, ect they will often form a sleep association and now need that to fall asleep. He actually had an example of a kid who fell asleep every night in the living room watching TV and then if they woke in the night returned to the living room and turned on the TV since they didn't know how to fall asleep in their own bed. Also, if put to bed in their bed they struggled/cried/ect. The sleep association may be to the TV but also the living room, you guys being around, the couch, or multiple. All of these are changes.

Since you are creating new habits/breaking a sleep association your son is going to struggle for a couple days at least so you may as well set something up you are happy with. You don't want to create even more habits you don't have to like and will break again.

For the bedtime routine first have TV completely off the table/psychically not on in the house before he has to go to bed so it's not a temptation. Have him get ready for bed (PJs, teeth) and then have something to look forward to in terms of quality time in his room with a parent doing something relaxing/without a screen. So he has the quality time to look forward to when he is doing his PJs teeth and won't fight it (once he catches on). The amount of the fun activity can depend on how quickly he gets this done. So once he has done his PJs and teeth maybe he could go to his room and play one on one with a parent for 20 minutes then read two books in bed then go to sleep. Whatever.

Since it will be harder for him to fall asleep when breaking his routine you want to start off with a later bedtime not an earlier one. You want him to be so sleepy by the time the two books are done that he conks right out. To ease this transition bedtime would be set 30 minutes or an hour (an hour is safer) after the time he normally falls asleep watching TV. So a time he is very tired and will have an easy time falling asleep. Until he if falling asleep in his bed at night without TV and without excessive crying or tantruming keep him at an extra late bedtime and do not add any extra naps or allow him to nap any longer then he did previously. He needs to be sleepy.

Once he is going to bed with the new routine then slowly move his bedtime back down. When you are trying to shift a child's sleep schedule it can often be hard to just put them to bed an hour or two earlier right away, as their body/natural rytum is not set to fall asleep then. So first move him back to when he was falling asleep in front of the TV and then move bedtime 10 minutes a day or something until it is where you want it. However, a good bedtime is based on your child getting the right amount of sleep overall and being tired when it is time to sleep. If you move it to early for him he may not be able to fall asleep then and that can cause power struggles as he just can't do it.

Ferber also has chapters on natural rytums and shifting sleep schedules. Honestly, it's a really good book. And make your husband read it. It's important he understand and get on board with being a good parent rather then one who just does what is easy. You have a special needs child and you can't carry the whole workload by yourself. He may think he is being nice to your son but he is actually creating problems for him. Have him read the chapter on sleep association and the chapter on limit setting as these will help him understand why how he has been handling this is not good for his child.

You're an awesome employer. $400 for a baby gift (particularly one as frequently used and safety-oriented) is an amazing gift.

My wife and I bought a Britax B-Agile Travel System. Note that a travel system is a combined stroller, carrier, and carrier base for the car, which means they would be pretty much covered until their baby is big enough for a full-blown car seat, and the stroller will last longer than that. Yes, these really can last a while if they're well-designed and well-made, though as a recent first-time parent, I can't speak to how accurate "five years" is. I would reasonably expect probably about 2-4 years, depending on how you treat your stuff and how quickly your child grows. (Note that most of these are based on weight, rather than age.) The B-Agile system is good for 30 pounds, which is roughly 3-4 years, I'm told.

This system, once assembled, is incredibly easy to use, very beefy, and rather stylish. All of the wheels lock with a single foot pedal at the back, the front wheel locks against turning for mostly-straight tracks, and the wheels are all fairly large, which means it's easier to push on rough terrain or over small pebbles in parking lots. There's plenty of storage (with an optional organizer that attaches to the back), and it all clips together/comes apart/folds up very easily. It's really well-designed as a system that's easy to use and easy to move or adjust. The carrier clips into the stroller (until the little one is too large for it), and then unclips and clips into the car base. You then push a button and lift a handle, and the stroller folds literally in half for storage in your car trunk. We chose the red version because it's highly visible/recognizable at a distance.

As far as cost is concerned, Amazon has this for a little under $300, and we were able to get Babies R Us to price-match it. They had to order it though, as red wasn't in stock. I wouldn't recommend used as recalls do happen and you need to register with the company if you want to be notified about a recall. If you're looking for something else to use the remaining $300 on, you could get things like square receiving blankets that can also serve as burping cloths or swaddling blankets, a bouncer with audio and vibration, or a nice swing. I'd recommend Fisher Price "Snug" series (Snugamonkey, Snugabunny, etc.) as they're great quality, very sturdy, have great reviews, and a ton of great features. (Can rotate and reposition, has multiple sound and music options including white noise, has a rotating mobile, multiple speed settings, battery or wall plug operation, etc.) The swings will set you back about $150, the bouncers around $60, and the blankets around $10-15 for a set of 3.

If you don't want to look like an overbearing Daddy Warbucks in-law, I'd just recommend one "big" think (i.e. the travel system), and maybe a few small things like the receiving blankets, a portable bottle warmer, or a DadGear diaper bag or backpack, which takes diapering on the move to a whole new level. The bag is a little more than a casual gift, but might still fit.

If you want extra bonus points, buy them a copy of Happiest Baby on the Block which is a series of soothing techniques that stops a baby from crying in literally seconds. It sounds a cross between hokey and scammy, but it WORKS.

This is going to get lost in all these comments, but if you want to get a better perspective on this, Alfie Khon has a very interesting book, Unconditional Parenting, that describes this way of thinking in a bit more detail.

The short of it is that the act of rewarding for one's actions can be as detrimental as being punished for your actions. He backs this up by sourced research in his book, as well as some interesting examples. His point in all of this is to get a parent or loved one to get past a cause-effect relationship and to gear themselves up for a dialogue with their child as to why something deserved praise or criticism without the trap of fearing a future punishment or needing a reward in order to receive the love of a parent.

The book isn't a "how-to" but more of a way of thinking. Surprisingly, I use some of his ideas with the "grown-ups" in my family with pretty good results.

I think one thing that no one seems to be addressing is that your wife just had a c-section 5 days ago! Major abdominal surgery! Every day will get better and better because she is recovering more and more each day. She is probably still on the prescription painkillers and will be switching to ibuprofen in the next day or so. The transition is hard to go from the prescription to OTC. But then once you do it, it'll be better because it won't make her sleepy.

I highly suggest a co-sleeper (like an arm's reach co-sleeper). I know you said that you do not want to co-sleep. We did just for the first 2 months. It was SO MUCH EASIER to nurse during the night when the baby is next to you. It is totally safe and it is easy to transition to the nursery. You'll both get more sleep by not having to get up and go into another room. And the night feedings will slow down with each month that passes. I found that the 6 week point was a real turning point for me. Both with my c-section recovery. And with our daughter getting to an easier point. And breast feeding becoming much easier.

There is a great resource for help here on reddit: /r/breastfeeding
The book that saved me was Breastfeeding Made Simple

And the thing that helped my husband the most was the DVD, Happiest Baby on the Block. Also available for instant download on Amazon.

Hang in there!

If you haven't already checked this one out, I HIGHLY recommend: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/150113163X/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I share this resource with families and also teachers/instructors that work with young children. I have had families tell me that it has given them all of the tools they need to understand what their child is trying to communicate and also how to manage those emotions.

Also, try to offer some calming exercises like balloon belly breathing (eyes closed, picture there is a balloon in your belly and breathe in to fill it up and breathe out to let the air out) with her when you start to see that "monkey mind" starting.

Finally, I can't not promote something that I designed for parents just like you. Please check out
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/yourchime/your-chime-a-book-and-calming-tool-for-children

Best of luck to you! I hope that you remember that it is those independent, ruthlessly stubborn kids that have the most leadership potential. It is your job as a parent to keep her alive (obviously) and show her that she can use those super powers that she has for good when she learns to control her emotions. I have no doubt that your daughter will be an amazing leader someday.

YES - my son is a climber, a runner, and loves to get into everything. Babyproofing made my life so much calmer. Here's some of my favorite finds.

Door Monkey - fits on standard (not beveled) door frames, installs in 1 second, and works fantastic as both a pinch guard and to prevent entry/exit. Its also nice on bedroom doors which have locks on them, as I'd get locked out of multiple rooms otherwise as my son knows how to activate those locks.

flip lock - for the front door, as my kid figured out how to move a chair to the front door and unlock it and get outside. Easy to install high up, looks nice, cheap, and is easy to work.

Baby fence - put this around the stuff you want to keep baby out of! Things such as entertainment centers and computer desks can be surrounded by this fence.

magnetic locks - for those drawers that you don't want any possible entry into, i.e. drawers with money. Very solid lock.

Latches - for things that can't be drilled into/that you don't want to drill into. You can lock the bottom drawer of the stove, the dishwasher, regular drawers, etc with this. Easy to install; I don't know how easy to remove.

I came in to say nearly the same thing. Parties are overwhelming and stressful for a lot of fully-developed adults!

>kids aren't giving you a hard time, they are having one

That's a common mantra among parents who follow the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model, since it summarizes the philosophy so clearly and succinctly. It probably didn't start there (there's nothing new under the sun) so I'm curious if you came upon it through CPS or elsewhere.

----

To OP:

>I guess I just want to know how to handle the real discipline without hating myself for it.

Remember that "discipline" means teaching, despite its common usage as a synonym for punishment. Keep your discipline thoughtful, positive, and productive. Not only is everyone happier in such an environment, outcomes are proven to be better, too.

Thoughtful problem-solving is a powerful, effective tool. Punishment really isn't. Sending your kid to bed without dinner or story time doesn't build executive function skills or teach him any coping mechanisms for the next time he's in an overwhelming situation; helping him identify the problem and then create a better solution for next time will.

If you want an evidence-based model for doing so, check out Raising Human Beings. I also love the How to Talk series, which are also empathy-and problem-solving-focused. Try How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen.

Hmmm...idk how easily it would be to attach one, especially to the metal. I know it sounds odd, but we've always used a playard. Every section is removable and you can rearrange the entire thing to the dimensions you want. To make it work as a gate (to like block off the kitchen, for instance) we've just bended and folded around furniture. Anchoring behind heavy things my son can't move. The gate is placed between the wall and the heavy object, and then bent just so that it can't easily be moved, even if one of us trips over it and falls...which has happened lol. Currently it's anchored behind a washer and an old sewing machine table. Also when we need to place it somewhere else, it's really easy to move and folds in on itself, accordian style.

We've lived in two places since our son was born and neither really had an easy place to secure a gate. We kinda just got creative lol.

1. You don't have to do what the pediatrician says in terms of sleeping through the night and night weaning - that's parenting advice not medical advice. If you were happy co-sleeping and breastfeeding at night then you can continue to do that. You can always sleep train him later or even wait until he shows you that he is ready to sleep on his own.
   
   
2. Assuming you WANT to follow the pediatricians advice (a perfectly reasonable want, there is nothing wrong with following the pediatricians advice I just wanted to make sure that you knew that you shouldn't feel like you HAD to), then first I'll ask, what type of CIO are you doing? Are you doing the interval method where you go in at increasing intervals (after 2, 4, 8, 10 minutes) and lay him back down and rub his back for a minute to get him to calm down? Or are you doing the extinction method where you just let him cry until he falls asleep? Or are you sitting in the room with him the whole time, near his crib but not talking to him? Or some other version? You may just want to switch up how you do it. If you haven't read doctor ferber's book, I strongly suggest you do so, as it may help you find a specific method that will help you out.
   
   
3. Also, when is the last time that you feed him at night? If he goes to sleep around 7-8 pm and he eats at that time, its fairly reasonable in my opinion that he would be hungry by 3 am. You might consider adding a dream feed when you go to sleep a few hours after after him, around 10-11pm. He will probably only eat a little bit, but this could help keep him full until 6-7am, which is a much more reasonable time for him to be awake.

Are you swaddling? One of my kids loved it - we used the Miracle Blanket to make it foolproof. The second didn't care and just wanted to be held so we co-slept. Third was the magical unicorn baby that slept for hours at a time right off the bat without special devices.

Also, is your wife nursing/has her milk come in? If baby's only getting colostrum, he may constantly want to nurse to try and get the milk to come in, he may not have enough for a full belly to knock him out.

My husband picked up a few good techniques from The Happiest Baby on the Block. I highly recommend.

Some kids don't respond to the carrot and stick approach. Some, like my younger son, are equally pissed off by carrots and sticks.

Two books changed the way I parented both of my children. The first one I think is the better of the two but the second is much more geared toward parenting.
Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes
http://www.amazon.com/Punished-Rewards-Trouble-Incentive-Praise/dp/0618001816/ref=pd_sim_b_5
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-Parenting-Moving-Rewards-Punishments/dp/0743487486

There's a book series I really enjoy that is "When I feel Angry", "When I feel Sad"... etc. And I think they really help in bringing context.

Also I was an emotional child. And still have strong emotions as an adult. I was taught really early on- that it's okay to take time to yourself if you need it. And hang out in your room. And if you need to scream- you can! But in a pillow. Also art helped. Art has always helped with me and strong emotions!

Definitely look into the book series though!

When I feel Angry

The first weeks SUCK. I remember asking my father-in-law (a father of four) how in the world people ever managed to have a second kid.

He said then, "Oh, y'know, you just get through it."

It didn't seem helpful at the time, but it is totally true. You DO get through it. It DOES end. Eventually, you'll be so far past these days, they seem like a dim memory. :)

For tricks that worked for us, check out The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. There's a book, too, but I sure as heck didn't have the brainspace to read it when we were at 2wks PP. The DVD was a life-saver, though!

Read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451064311&sr=8-1&keywords=siblings+without+rivalry

Everything you describe is normal for a pre-school aged kid grappling with sibling rivalry. Think of it this way: your husband brings home a new wife who is younger and prettier than you are. You have no say in the choice, and are expected to share all the attention, all of your physical belongings, all the love. You still might be a "baby" in some ways (your son was when your daughter was born) but are told that you can no longer get your emotional needs met because you're a grown-up now and just need to deal.

Who cares if he baby talks on occasion or sometimes signs? Lots of kids want to "play" baby when there's a baby around. Let him climb into your lap, say, "Oh, I love my big baby," and give him a snuggle. I get that you're torn in two directions with one preschooler and one toddler but nothing you describe about his behavior is worth yelling at him for.

I'm very sorry for your loss. You've already gotten a lot of really good advice, I just wanted to add on by directing you to The Care and Keeping of You. The whole series is really good and they talk about a lot of those "lessons" from shaving to tampons to how to deal with friend drama in middle school. My niece found it all really helpful especially because she hit puberty at 9 before all of her friends. Even in an open family there are somethings you're just embarrassed to ask about and these books are directed towards young girls and teaches them how to talk and deal with those things.

We got what we called the "cage" lol! Its those big gates that you can make into an octagon shape or a square. It worked well for us. We mainly got it to kind of separate the living room and keep toys organized we were able to use it until a few months after walking when he figured out how to loft it up. Best 100$ investment! It comes in neutral colors as well.

North States Industries Superyard Play Yard, Colorplay, 8 Panel https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006NTY1HU/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_ctssub15PZ34N

American Girls makes awesome books for girls about every topic imaginable. The Care and Keeping of You is just what you need. My daughter really liked this book, and has liked all the AG titles I've given her.

I'm hopping on the top comment thread to recommend [The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls - American Girl Library] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580834/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_zp6lDbSDNEM48)

It covers a lot of topics, in short chunks. So if you're not sure how to start talking about this stuff, just read a page or two together and ask if she has questions. Do that regularly and you'll have a good open dialog going.

For those who are already talking to their girls, it helps make sure you cover all the topics they need to know. We used it as a supplement to conversation.

This is book 1, designed for ages 8 and up. It does introduce periods. Book 2 is for older girls.

Don’t beat yourself up. The fact that you are trying to do things differently and are being reflective is important. Don’t sell yourself short. Parenting classes and finding good books are a great place to start.

One of the books that my wife and I consider foundational for our parenting (though is light in practical how-to) is Unconditional Parenting. And one of our girls’ teachers uses the Love and Logic model and it’s got a lot of great techniques.

We have What's the Big Secret and my 4.5 year old loves it. There's also It's Not the Stork, though I haven't read that one personally. I have The Care and Keeping of You saved for when she's older...not sure how much it covers where babies come from, though it felt related enough to bring up here :) We just go for honest age-appropriate answers to questions--trying not to give TOO much information and just answering what was asked (which is hard).

Edit to add: We also use proper anatomy terms. She knows she has a vulva, boys have a penis, dads have the sperm, mom has the egg, babies grow in the uterus. She also knows about fallopian tubes and vas deferens, but gets them mixed up, which I find hilarious.

I hope you see this. Check out "The Care and Keeping of You": http://amzn.com/1609580834. It's basically a how-to book for girls, and seems perfect for your situation. Since your daughter is apprehensive about asking other people questions, hopefully this book can answer those for her. Note that there is a sequel for older girls which may be more appropriate for your daughter.

There are two things.

First, this clock might help https://www.amazon.com/OK-Wake-Alarm-Clock-Night-Light/dp/B00EAHSBV4 as she doesn't need to tell time to tell when it's OK to wake up. The clock optional though.

Second and most important, when she comes into your room during sleep time, you take her by the hand and without saying one word you walk her back to bed. Don't look at her and don't talk to her. If you do that consistently and warn her ahead of time that's how it will be, eventually she will stop coming into your room for attention she knows she won't get. Explain that she isn't to get out of bed except to go potty or when you wake her up (or her new clock lights up if you purchase that). It's vital that you are consistent with this new rule. Any inconsistency and it will be a failure.

My son came into our room every night for a short while. We tried this and it was huge success. But again, consistency is key. It also takes a bit of patience.

Sorry your going through this but with that said my daughter never slept more than a hour or two at a time until she was about 4 months old. Usually her pattern was sleep a hour then up a hour all during the day and then at night she sleep a hour from 9-10 and be up from 10pm-1am and then sleep 1am-3am and then start the up a hour and then sleep a hour. It was pure hell. Some babies just don't sleep well. Mine also wouldn't sleep unless held while I sat up or in a rock n play(id try one of these in your case it could Possibly help). she hated the bassinet and crib with a passion. Luckily I didn't have another child to deal with since she's my first and only. I also would go downstairs with her at night so the hubby could sleep and I'd sleep when he was done with work from 4pm-10pm because that was the only time I could get sleep! Also don't stress too much it will get better like I said 4 months was our turning point and by 10 months she was sleeping 7pm-7am without waking and still does at almost 2! I'd also work with the older child to stay in their room until at least 6am so you can all get sleep. They make special clocks that tell children when it's time to wake maybe get one for the older toddler! Here's a link to one of your interested https://www.amazon.com/OK-Wake-Alarm-Clock-Night-Light/dp/B00EAHSBV4

We used these with great success.

I might stray away from the rubbery ones only because real food encourages chewing, and standard pacifiers don't deal well with chewing...

Your attitude might be apparent in the way that you help. Take some pride in being an involved daddy, get a book on sleep training (seriously get the Ferber book, http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp/0743201639) and tell your wife she needs to be okay with accepting help.

As a childrens librarian I recommend The Heart and the Bottle and Ida Always. These usually get good feedback from parents. Both are aimed at teaching children to feel their feelings, and not bottle grief.

You might want to check out the Mourner's Bill of Rights and remember that both you and Sadie have the right to grieve as you need to.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

When my mum was sick earlier this year, I started reading my 4 year old books about death and loss.
https://www.amazon.com/Memory-Tree-Britta-Teckentrup/dp/1408326345/
https://www.amazon.com/Ida-Always-Caron-Levis/dp/1481426400
These first 2 are beautiful stories about losing someone but keeping their memory alive.
https://www.amazon.com/Something-Very-Sad-Happened-Understanding/dp/1433822660
And this one is more direct and helped my son understand what was going on after she passed away.

Kids are surprisingly resilient and if you're open and honest with her she'll be ok.

If you're going to sleep train, buy/borrow the book. It's not "the Ferber method" unless you follow the instructions as they are laid out. Only the first few chapters are relevant to infants without sleep disorders, so you don't need to worry about reading all 300+ pages. What you're doing now is winging it and sending mixed messages, which will prolong the process for everyone.

Good luck - sleep issues are, hands down, one of hardest parts about the infant stage.

Check out r/sleeptrain if you have decided to go in that direction and need additional support.

Boy, that's rough.

In our house we hold the line on getting out of bed or TV at night. Night time is for sleeping, period, no exceptions. I suspect he's more likely to try to stay awake if he knows doing something fun is an option.

Another thing that helped us, and might help you with nighttime wakings, was figuring out that our daughter had a really hard time understanding when it was morning/OK for her to get up. We blacked out her room because the slightest hint of sunlight made it impossible for her to sleep (which was rough in the summer when it was still light at bedtime and got bright before she ought to be waking). I mean, total blackout - we covered her windows with tin foil and covered that with blackout curtains. Then we gave her a clock similar to this one that lights up green when it's OK for her to get up in the morning. Overnight it made a huge difference.

My daughter enjoyed gnawing frozen fruit out of mesh feeders. Frozen bananas worked very well. Like these: http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Pack-Fresh-Feeder-Colors/dp/B000GK5XY2

This worked incredibly well for us and now he’s sleeping longer too. Mirari OK to Wake! Alarm Clock & Night-Light we’ve had 3 early wake ups (he had reasons) in 6 weeks so I call it a win.

This book does have really great information in it, but I couldn't get over how poorly written it is for such a successful book. Really badly organized, and for sleep-deprived parents it was really hard to get at the information we needed.

Ultimately, we had great luck with the Ferber book. Ferber is famous for the "cry it out method" but his method is a little less "extreme" than Weisbluth's (if you are uncomfortable letting the baby cry for long periods without checking in, as we were).

The single most useful thing I learned from the Ferber book is that all babies will wake up many times per night, and that if their environment is different than when they went to sleep it will wake them up completely. E.g. imagine you go to sleep on your bed and wake up on the bathroom floor... you'll become aroused and completely awake. To a baby, this is the same as when they go to sleep in your arms or with you in the room and wake up alone in their crib.

There are different ways to get there, but ultimately it was finding a way to let the baby fall asleep without us in the room (i.e. the same way he'll wake up 4 or 5 times per night) that was key.

Also really benefited from "The Baby Whisperer" and her Eat Activity Sleep routine for newborns.

The real secret is that each baby is different, and different techniques will have differing levels of success with different babies. Ferber solved our problems where some of the advice in the "no-cry" books did not seem to apply to our child.

I recommend the book Siblings without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live too. It's an easy read.

http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414118779&sr=1-1&keywords=siblings+without+rivalry

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-Longer/dp/B0006J021C

A very effective system for keeping your baby calm. Made a huge difference for us.

This is great: The Care and Keeping of You. I wish I'd had this around for myself, my mom seriously dropped the damn ball. /u/polydad - get this for the bebe!

Congrats!
Of course, there are many parenting topics that people have totally different opinions on, so you won't get one unchallenged list of everything you need to know.


And focus on the learning the baby stuff now and expect to continue learning and reading as you move through the stages.

For your stage, I highly recommend this:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying/dp/B0006J021C/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1343612023&sr=8-2&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block

LIFE SAVER!

You asked for books/resources, so here's one:

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

It's by the same authors as the old classic How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, And Listen So Kids Will Talk, but focused more on younger children. Honestly when you try to implement some of the strategies in the book you can't help but become more self-aware of your own knee-jerk reactions to your kids.

I use the "fresh food feeders" and stuff them with frozen food (usually fruits). I have also had success with frozen waffles!

http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Pack-Fresh-Feeder-Colors/dp/B000GK5XY2

Seconded.

I highly recommend Ferber's book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. Dude gets a bad rap, but seriously, the book has chapters devoted to toddlers with this sort of issue, and it's really helpful.

I know it, feeling helpless was my husband's chief frustration. We were introduced to Happiest Baby on the Block (courtesy of La Leche) and it really turned our experience around because my husband had a 'job' that he can do himself.

If you are still within the first 3 months, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND giving this DVD a look. I hate new age parenting stuff, but it WILL help with getting your baby to sleep longer and soothing them.

We have one of these fresh food feeders that my 9 month old loves. We do all manners of fruit in them.

Before you spend money on the teething tablets read up on homeopathy and you'll see that it's kind of a joke. I used the tablets before I knew what they were all about, and now I feel like I was duped. Also, they still contain belladonna but in a smaller amount I believe.

Baby Orajel has worked for my second baby who is teething like crazy right now. And the mesh bag with frozen grapes/berries/ice cube is excellent (as others mentioned). My son gets Tylenol too.

OK to Wake clock. The clock turns yellow when it's time for bed and then green when it's okay to get out of bed. Great for the early birds come weekend times. We use it to have kiddo stay in bed an extra hour or so on the weekends cause he can wake at 630am no problem. We started using it at 5 years old for school, so we also use the actual alarm. He gets up just fine with it and gets ready for school mostly on his own. I personally hated (and still hate) being woken up by my parents (by my SO) vs an alarm and SS is so much like me I figured the alarm might be the best option. I'll try and leave a a Amazon link, if not you can Google OK to Wake.




https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EAHSBV4/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_wCqSDbANMTMP9

Read the Ferber book! My husband and I were in a similar situation because we are night owls and I nursed to sleep. My daughter is finally okay with letting me walk away at 3 years old. She would want me to lay in bed to nurse all night. When she was deep asleep, I would be able to sneak away. However, when she woke up, she would run to our room because she was expecting me to be there. The book has a lot of similar situations on what to do. We didn't use the cry it out method by leaving her alone but got a lot of ideas from the book. The game changer for us was having my husband put her down at night. She hated it but after a few days she was comfortable enough to fall asleep. She still wakes in the middle of the night but no longer insta-screaming when I (or usually my husband) will walk her back to my daughter's room. She still will ask for back rubs but we are weaning those out. We found a trick by saying, "I'll be right back." If she's calm, she is okay us leaving and will fall asleep before we do a check in.

You can skip a lot of sections of the book to get to the good stuff. My husband and I had to look through the book together so we could make a plan.

I'd check out The Happiest Baby on the Block then. I read it before my wife did and for a while she thought I was a wizard when it came to putting our first down to sleep. It's not like other books that suggest some new fad for parenting styles, it just has some ideas for how to comfort a baby in the first 3 months that might not have occurred to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466

http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying/dp/B0006J021C/ref=pd_sim_b_1

My 3 YO has responded really well to getting one of these. If she's up early now she'll just play in bed or read unless she needs the bathroom, and is fine going back to bed if the light isn't green yet. Obviously it won't work for every kid, but it might be worth a shot.

I read this book and I really like what it had to say. I liked how it framed developing a relationship with your child. My kids are 2 and 4 yrs old. So who knows how this stuff will end up working out. So far so good. I want a different relationship with my children than I had with my parents. So I am doing things differently, very differently. I also don't like the typical American parent, child relationship. So I looked for parenting philosophies outside of the American norm. I figure to not raise a typical American kid, teenager, and adult I would use different parenting methods.

Read Siblings without Rivalry. Seriously.. This book is great.

It's a sleep training method. It's similar to CIO but not as extreme. The book is really helpful.

There are several variations but this is the most popular one where I live:

North States Superyard Colorplay 8 Panel Playard https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006NTY1HU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_I-55AbM54XEYE

Everything about kids development from when they are a baby to when they are a teenager is about their emotions. They feel new emotions or emotions to a greater extent as they age and they learn how to handle them. Sometimes that handling results in inappropriate behavior. So, although his behavior needs to be addressed the more important issue is the emotion that is causing the behavior. It's likely some kind of frustration that you didn't even know was happening. It can be difficult to get it out of them though. I really like this bookas it has a number of strategies to communicate better with kids.

As for the school thing, my wife is a teacher and has had classes like this. It's difficult to balance the needs of the classroom when you have kids that are always acting up. The school can only do so much. I live in Ontario though and we have two public school boards for every region and if it was my kid and he was that young I would probably try and transfer him. I know that's not an option everywhere though.

>wait until 6 months.

[That's straight out of Ferber.] (https://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp/0743201639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491771431&sr=8-1&keywords=Ferber) - well 4-6 months is straight out of the Ferber book.

In my experience, it seems there's a correlation between being a good daytime napper but bad sleeper. My 6 mo old never naps more than 40 mins during the day and his last nap is usually around 3pm. His is brutal because his bedtime is 7:30. That's a long time to keep an infant occupied.

The flip side is that he is a great nighttime sleeper. He has been sleeping (mostly) through the night for 10+hrs in his own room since he was 3 mo old. He doesn't always go down quietly despite having a routine. Sometimes he will scream in his crib but before we are even back downstairs to check the monitor he would be snoring away. It seems the more aware and active they get, the more they fight to stay awake.

My basic point is that whether they are a good napper or sleeper it's usually not only what you do at bedtime but maybe what you do throughout the day that sets them up for good sleep.

Also have you any read any books? I'd recommend this one by Ferber.

I second "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen." The authors (Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish) also have an excellent book called "Siblings Without Rivalry"

http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0393342212/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418149953&sr=8-1&keywords=siblings+without+rivalry+how+to+help+your+children+live+together+so+you+can+live+too

It might be worth trying a toddler clock like this one.

This book saved my wife and I from, I don't know what, when our Son would not sleep, this method works, but you have to be strong and that can be difficult.

http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp/0743201639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452163357&sr=8-1&keywords=ferber

This is a good book to look into: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1609580834

I use an Okay to Wake alarm clock my son, every day of the week. Greatest invention ever.

I got one of those baby cookbooks for my oldest because I loved cooking for my wife and he fucking hated everything I put in front of him. There's no need to overthink introducing her to new foods. You're not a bad parent for going the Gerber route. A real lifesaver for us was teething mesh bags filled with frozen strawberries. It allowed him to feed himself a snack in the high chair and gave him relief from the pain.