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Hey, I'm 29 too and I have a book about the research on happiness that changed my total outlook on happiness. I want to stress that this book is not a "self help" book. When I was an undergrad psych major this book was recommended by an admired faculty of mine. Upon rereading it years later it influenced me to pursue a totally different career field that I was on the fence about (dentistry). One point from the book that I want to mention is that the best way to predict how happy you'll be when deciding, for example, a future career is ask those in the profession how happy they are when they are on the job. So if you google top ten professions dentist is up near the top and if you shadow a dentist you'll realized how fulfilling it can be (don't believe that increased chance of suicide that's very old data and the professions changed). You seem bright and I guess my commit is starting sound like I'm recruiting you to try dental school but I seem to be okay with that so yeah...you should be a dentist I suppose...maybe. I'm still in dental school and I can tell you it is very challenging at times but it is already obvious to me that it is so worth the struggle. ANYWAY the book is great an I could recommend more but this one gives really good insight into the "mechanisms" of happiness. What it is not is a "self help" book and the author describes it as the book you read after the "self help" book to figure out why you're still miserable. I think it will really answer your questions on your lack of felling satisfied with life. The book does tackle some really big questions and it is all based on research. I highly recommend it if you want a no nonsense yet humorously written explanation of how people cope with challenging events in there lives and why people who get what they want are often unsatisfied. Hope this helps and wish you the best friend.


His book [Stumbling on Happiness]
(http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Happiness-Daniel-Gilbert/dp/1400077427)


his TED [talk]
(http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy?language=en) is okay but is a little hard to follow.

TL;DR
Book about the research on happiness written by researcher/Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert told me to change careers and did.

Fluxx is super fun. That's the link to the original version but they have lots of themed and branded versions too. Star Fluxx, Stoner Fluxx, Monty Python Fluxx, Batman Fluxx, Chemistry Fluxx, Zombie Fluxx, and lots more. Pick your favorite or get the original.

Fluxx is fun because the goal of the game can change during the game. You might be just about to win and then the goal changes. The rules can change mid-game too, but it's pretty simple to understand. You pick up X cards each turn and you play X cards each turn. How many can change at any time. Some games will end quick and some will be a good long twisting journey of fun. You'll definitely want to play another game when one ends. And if you ever have guests over, it plays really well with 3-5 people too.

Life is great! I got laid off in November, and while that seems bad on the surface, I've never started a year happier and more at peace. I hated my job. Now I'm going to try to make it on my own. It won't be easy, but it's just me, and I don't require much, so I'm incredibly hopeful and excited. In July I took some big steps to get out of a toxic relationship, focus on my health, focus on finding the thing that makes me money and fulfilled and everything started happening so fast. It's amazing what just a few good (different) choices will yield. I read and listen to a lot of self-improvement blogs and podcasts. Some of them might be useful to y'all. If you have time check out James Altucher's Choose Yourself, or the Unstuckable podcast and others in that genre. 2015 can only be great if we make it so :) Btw, I'm 35.

Just found this thread but want to throw out some of my favorites.

These two are not your typical boring documentary. Watch them in reverse order for a natural progression, as they are related even though it may seem they are not:

Riding Giants (2004)
Dogtown and Z-Boys (2002)

I'm not even a big sports guy but sports documentaries can be fantastic, as ESPN has proved with this series:

30 for 30
Season 1 DVD box set
Season 2 DVD box set

Season 3 is in progress. They do release them individually if there is a particular story that interests you. The DVD box sets are a great deal though, under $20 for 30 great sports documentaries.

> I’m not the grammar police except in my own head, and I don’t correct people (except my husband because I love him and don’t want others thinking he’s ignorant) but I do think less of them and I don’t like that about myself. [...] So I’ve written down that sentence from the advice column, and hope that if I see it several times every day, I will become less critical of others’ shortcomings and more gracious with people in general.

Something else that can help is to remember that just because we think we know something doesn't mean we're correct about what we know.

Quite a bit of the English "grammar" we learn in school has little to do with what's objectively grammatically correct in our language and much to do with who speaks certain ways. "I've never been there" and "I ain't never been there" are equally correct; the latter simply uses stigmatized forms. Every person speaks one or more dialects, and every dialect is a rule-governed system. But when rules conflict, the one that's seen as "right" in mainstream society is the one used by those with more societal power and prestige.

There are even completely artificial, nonexistent "rules" imposed on the language from the outside, purely for the purpose of signaling prestige. It's never incorrect, for example, to end a sentence with a preposition. This is and always has been grammatical in English, in any dialect—but for hundreds of years, as a completely arbitrary rule it's been a useful shibboleth for identifying who can afford a certain level of education.

If you're the autodidactic type and want to learn more about what we were incorrectly taught in school, a couple of books I highly recommend as primers are American English: Dialects and Variation by Walt Wolfram and Natalie Schilling and English with an Accent: Language, Ideology, and Discrimination in the United States by Rosina Lippi-Green. Both of these texts were fundamental to shattering and rebuilding my entire grammatical worldview during my first linguistics course in college, prior to which I'd considered myself quite the expert on what was "right" and "wrong" in English.

Here is the deal:

Homes: This is property that you OWN. Or rather, own a part of until you pay off your mortgage. Your mortgage is basically paying the bank bank for THEM buying the home for you. The trick is, YOU are in charge of EVERYTHING. I was told recently by friends you need either one large income or two stable incomes to be able to sustain a household. The stable job/s need to have financial security. To get an idea of the costs, here is a link to my thread with A LOT of useful information:

My thread

I also recommend looking up: [Nolo's Essential Guide to Buying Your First Home)(http://www.amazon.com/Nolos-Essential-Guide-Buying-First/dp/1413317626)

Regarding renting: You, typically, own NOTHING. However it gives you the freedom to say, "I dont like living here anymore... lets bail." You have the freedom to do whatever you want with NO ties. Owning a coop/condo, different story.

In your case, you need to make some serious financial decisions with your husband. A coop/condo may be your best bet if you cannot stand the thought of renting anymoer and want to own property.

I would say up to about 5-10 years ago, getting a home was a great idea however the costs involved have increased dramatically without the increases in paychecks.

Hey! Former CIO here, late 40s. Just made a massive career change (starting a business with an important on-line component).

Web development / design has changes a lot over the years, but I guess the good news is that if you did enjoy the coding, there is plenty of development to do. QA goes hand-in-hand so that's an option. Maybe you need to come up to speed on the latest language, but the fundamentals don't change that much, really.

For tech writing, if you write well, there is definitely a market because most tech people don't have great writing skills. I'm in Europe, so the market may be different, but can you find some people who do what you like to do and just buy them a coffee and talk (someone in QA, someone in tech writing) to get a sense of what's hot and what's not in your area?

A useful book for career change is Laura Berman Fortgang's Now What? book. She has a lot of useful advice for someone in your position.

First of all, you're not crazy. My MIL, FIL, and Stepfather IL all changed careers in their 50s. Like, drastic changes. Blue collar to medical field; white collar to art.

2nd, you are NOT starting over when your boss resigns. If you network, then you can segue to another position for someone in politics. This is how many folks in politics move around, one campaign to another; one official to another. Plus, you now have a reference for this type of work, as opposed to your rep in court or a McDonald's manager.

It's not if you are ridiculous to change professions, it's doing enough research to determine if you have what you need and are willing to do what you need to in order to change into photography. Can you create a career viable path for it? You can't just "change" careers; you have to create something like that.

I highly recommend finding a good career counselor in your area, someone who can help you analyze your values and priorities in moving forward.

Also, just for fun, you can read What Can you do with a Law Degree. It addresses options other than standard law firm work.

Good luck!

Remote Control / Key Finder
This solution isn't practical for all your scissors and pens, but for me it is an absolute miracle for the TV remote controls and stuff like that. You just press a button and your lost thing starts to beep loudly. I haven't lost a remote since getting this!

As for everything else, locking it up would be the obvious nuclear option but it doesn't address the underlying issue that you're being villainized for this.
You need to have a serious talk with the family but approach it from a calm, respectful perspective so they don't just dismiss you as being an unreasonable hardass and dig their heels in further.
Approach it more like "How does it feel when someone loses your toys?" and less like "STOP TOUCHING MY SHIT".

The goal is to get the point across with them feeling good about it and not resenting you; otherwise they're going to "accidentally" "forget" more and more.

A lot of good suggestions here, but I recommend working on yourself from the ground up. Specifically, addressing your depression and low self-worth. Your parents have seemingly caused you a great deal of pain and muddied your self-perception and your perception of the world. Counseling is a no-brainer. But what I have found to help me most significantly is reading self-help books that help you work through the challenges of your toxic way of thinking. The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David D. Burns goes into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and teaches you to overcome the warped thoughts that plague many of us. Formal therapy can absolutely help, but for me self-education and working through the concepts described by CBT on my own were extremely beneficial to me in my 20s.

That is a tough question. Luck definitely plays a role, and it's easy to compare yourself to your peers. I would recommend the following:

https://b-ok.cc/?signAll=1

At the above website read free copy of mark manson's 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck'

Also have a look at this:

https://dailystoic.com/

And this:

Happy: Why More or Less Everything is Absolutely Fine https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0552172359/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_r0HPDbSS5P7GY

Congratulations! This is a big step forward for you and it is what you deserve out of life. Well done!

As someone who has been through something similar, I have an idea of what you are looking at, and I am with you. To move forward, it is worthwhile to understand the effects of abuse in the brain. The simple fact is that being in an abusive relationship had an impact on your brain and brain development, especially as a young person. The effects of verbal abuse on the brain are the same as physical abuse.

At the end of my abuse I was literally like a punch drunk boxer, staggering around the ring not knowing what year it was. There was like a fog over my perceptions, emotions, and decision making that kept me from living my life. This was partly due the damage being done by the abuse, but also a mechanism that my brain used to protect me from more. The fog still manifests itself as an inability to take action, especially ones that I know will benefit me. One part of my brain knows what to do, and another seems to not allow me to do it. I consider this an 'echo' of the abuse, and it diminishes over time (but hasn't gone away). I do struggle to take care of myself in basic ways at times. Sometimes it is hard for me to get out of bed.

The big thing to understand is that you have been through a physical trauma, and it will take your brain time to recover. You need to give yourself the time and the emotional space to do that. It might seem like other people are moving forward with their life and you are standing still. However, you need time to have your brain return to normal. I left my relationship three years ago and I am just now starting to feel emotionally whole every day. It is easier today, but it till a while for it to get there.

Over time you will find it easier to take action and make decisions. It just takes time and patience, which is really hard right now. Just love yourself and trust yourself to get better. This is going to be a season of learning and introspection, take the time to learn about who you are, where you are, and what you need to thrive. Once you have a better handle on this, action is a little less scary.

Don't force things, especially by jumping into another relationship. You are uniquely vulnerable right now and could very easily fall into the hands of another abuser. They really do prey on vulnerable people, and it is all too easy to fall into the hands of someone who promises to make it all go away. You don't owe anything to anyone, except to yourself.

HINT: this won't go away until you are heathy and know yourself well enough to make good decisions. You will just start establishing a pattern.

I would most strongly recommend looking into anything by Patricia Evans. Her book The Verbally Abusive Relationship helped me to get a language around what had happened to me and Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out helped me understand I was not alone. If you can't afford these, check at your library or PM me and I will buy you a copy.

Counseling and therapy were invaluable for me as well.

Haha, sure...I was in a bit of a fugue state when I mixed the pitchers of it, but I can tell you the ingredients and you can experiment with ratios. It was basically a Black Russian with edible pearl dust and chestnut praline syrup. You can buy a bottle of the syrup from Starbucks stores around the holidays for like $15. The drink is very tasty but very, very strong.

It may sound silly, or outdated, but my mother in law gave me a book that really helped me https://www.amazon.com/Household-hints-Editors-Readers-Digest/dp/0895776634

the thing i most remember is that life is like baloney, you don't have to take all of it at one time, just a slice at a time.

hope it helps.

This is a pretty open-ended question as there is no single passage into adulthood. It's a process that can last a lifetime and some people never figure it out...

That said, I'm currently reading "Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing up." It's a deep exploration of how our journeys are shaped by the experiences of our childhood. It's targeted at entrepreneurs and business leaders but the content is applicable to anyone who is trying to make sense of growing up and finding meaning in life. If you are "leading your own life" then you are essentially a "leader." There is some profound wisdom here... YMMV.

I suggest you all read The Coddling of the American Mind. It's an excellent read for questions like this.


https://www.amazon.com/Coddling-American-Mind-Intentions-Generation-ebook/dp/B076NVFT5P/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2HBEN8S0GFE50&keywords=the+coddling+of+the+american+mind&qid=1573342069&sprefix=the+coddl%2Caps%2C207&sr=8-1

https://smile.amazon.com/Paul-Harveys-Rest-Story-Aurandt/dp/0385127685/ref=sr_1_1?crid=SGXIAR1EX3RZ&keywords=paul+harvey+the+rest+of+the+story&qid=1555366350&s=gateway&sprefix=paul+harvey%2Caps%2C171&sr=8-1 Here is a book with a bunch of the stories in it. I have a copy of it somewhere. I loved him!