(Part 3) Best products from r/askwomenadvice

I had TERRIBLE PMDD. You described exactly how I was 3 weeks out of every month. The pill helped the cramping, but ultimately I think it caused the PMDD by screwing up my hormonal cycle. I now work with a neurochemical nutritional therapist, who has been a LIFESAVER (literally, cuz I was suicidal). She's put me on a diet of 120g protein per day, progesterone cream 15 days before my period to help hormone levels, and about $70/month worth of herbal/vitamin/mineral supplements. I HAPPILY spend the money because it helps so noticeably. I still have more "ups and downs" about a week before my period (like, my dog being super cute might make me slightly teary in joy), but no more suicidal/depressive thoughts.

There's a book on it (LINK TO THE MOOD CURE on amazon), but I found that I couldn't figure it out on my own with the book. The therapist did a series of quick tests and took quick action that made me feel WAY better.

Good luck. I know what you're going through is brutal. You're gonna get through this.

He sounds like a young narcissist on his way to being a pro-Narcissist.

The Boundaries book by cloud and townsend was enlightening for me after dating a highly destructive narcissist for five years. I did no know or understand this personality disorder but i got to live being abused and controlled by him. Please do not let the christian authors or rhetoric deter you from the very valuable education and tools with in the book or the series.

The other book that i found the best at profiling a narcissistic man is "help i am in love with a narcissist" this book pegs the personality flaws and through this book i learned where other narcissist personalities existed in my life.

If you can find the book Crazy Love it gives excellent descriptions of ten Cluster B personality disorders. You may find this person has more than one.

https://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Love-Dealing-Partners-Personality/dp/1886230803

I've had the hitachi and it's well worth the money, but yes it is incredibly loud and expensive. I don't use it often because it's very powerful. Good for insta orgasms.

GSPY Vibrating G Spot Rabbit Vibrator, Rechargeable Dildo- Adult Sex Toys Clitoris Stimulator for Women https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XCSNXN9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_iI19Ab3F6SCQ6 Is a great basic option! It's vibe is not weak but not too much. It's about 9 inches, girthy and gives good "full body orgasms" imo cause it hits the gspot

Shibari Mini Halo, "The Original" Compact Power Wand Massager, Wireless, 20x Multi-speed Vibrations (Pink) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B010GLZ2NC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_dK19AbQYQST56 this is my go to vibrator because it's small, packs a punch and not too loud. it's comparable to a little sister version of the hitachi imo and it's what i use most often.

If you plan on taking any drugs, make sure you go through a TRUSTED friend.

Obviously drink enough water to stay hydrated but try not to overdo it.

Get some music safe earplugs . These things saved my life!!

Most importantly, friggin enjoy yourself and don't care what anyone else thinks.

Also, have a backup plan to get home in case you want to leave early.

Have fun!! I miss going to raves.

Edit: I second comfy footwear. Very important.

Totally normal!

Dunno what you're looking into but I personally use a trimmer to maintain (this one, if you're interested, bought it based on many very specific reviews about it being great for the nether regions lol: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0062IWQVU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VX27CbM198TPB) and find that works well enough for me. If you do buy a trimmer DON'T but a ladies one. Every one I've tried was infuriatingly bad, haha.

If I had the funds I'd absolutely do laser hair removal though. I got waxed for a while and loved it but budgets change so that's not really an option for me anymore, sadly...

Bottom line is, you've got options. Anything except trimming/laser means more exfoliation upkeep so you won't get ingrown hairs but are probably still fine options as well!

I don't trust people who make exaggerated claims like "I will never put her through that again" and "I hate myself everyday for doing it" and "I will never do it again." I would ask you to reflect on how you can improve yourself.

If you want to regain trust then you must build emotional intimacy and put real effort into learning more about infidelity and communication. Take action by planning dates, but more importantly play games that build intimacy such as the Ungame and Face to Face.

If you are committed to working through this as you claim then you should be expected to read books that will improve your relationship skills.

• Fidelity: How to Create a Loving Relationship That Lasts
• The Art of Communicating
• I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships
• The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

In addition to the other ideas, empathize with him. "It has to be really tough when you want something sooooooo badly, but you don't have the money to buy it, huh? Like, that game is probably your favorite one and the one thing you've been wanting for sooooooo long. And it's so hard to not have it."

On top of that, you can address it with wishful ideas: "I wish I had a million dollars and could buy you anything you want!" or "I wish that everything was free!" Let him come up with some wishful ideas, too.

There is a really great book published 20+ years ago that may help you: https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen-ebook/dp/B005GG0MXI

Literally drop everything you’re doing rn and buy some Tend Skin. It burns so good. And works so fast.

Tend Skin The Skin Care Solution For Unsightly Razor Bumps, Ingrown Hair And Razor Burns, 8 Fl. Oz Bottle https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001ECQ7G4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VJ-MDbQP3TDC4

Then if you wanna get really into it, make sure to exfoliate the area every day. If you’re shaving often I would use an anti-bump scrub like this one:

GiGi No Bump Body Scrub With Salicylic Acid for Ingrown Hair & Razor Burns https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001DYJJQS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_aN-MDb4GTV8XM

When you use the scrub on the area make sure to start using it 1-2 days before shaving/waxing and then wait 24 hours (or until the next day) to start using it again. It’s very important that you use the scrub often to exfoliate as your hair starts to grow back. This removes the dead skin cells that hairs can get trapped under and lifts the hairs to promote them growing outward and not inward, causing those painful bumps. To really get the job done, try applying the scrub with an exfoliating mitt like this one:

Skinerals Scrubbing Exfoliator Mitt - Exfoliating Gloves To prep and exfoliate skin for self tanner sunless tanning (Exfoliator Mitt) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XNVKRMP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_bS-MDbNCC2Y5P

After shaving or waxing, apply some finipil to the area for the first few days as the skin is still raw and prone to infection. This will not only fight against infection and ingrowns but will have a really soothing and cooling effect on the skin. Pricey but worth it:

finipil Lait 50,1.5 fl oz, 44 ml https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C4YJL96/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_bT-MDbDVD2PJ8

Do all these things and you should be good. Remember: our skin isn’t meant to be removed in the first place. It won’t simply play nice just because you want it to. You’re going to get ingrowns and bumps and dark spots sometimes no matter how hard you try so you just have to accept that you’re human and be okay with it. But I definitely believe you can manage ingrowns greatly by committing to a regimen.

Congratulations in moving into your first apartment!

I would suggest in buying a few microwaveable tupperwares (or takeaway containers) for dividing up food when cooking to take to work/classes or for a easy quick meals at home.

Get a folder organiser like this to manage all the letters/bills you receive. Set up automatic payments if you can for things like the gas/electricity, internet etc and regularly check your bank balance online via online/phone app.

Set a day once a week to clean your laundry and other cleaning duties i.e. cleaning the bathroom/kitchen/floors etc.

Check out these subreddits for ideas on decorating /r/InteriorDesign /r/DesignMyRoom

Best of luck!

I use veet (or nair) wax strips for my legs, and hot wax for everything else. I buy my wax from the Indian store, it’s like a 20 oz tin for $5 by a brand called Sleek wax. and since it’s a tin, you just stick it in a hot bowl of water so the contents of the wax melt. It’s super affordable, and maybe $10 altogether to wax my body. But a more convenient option is the brand Parissa, they offer a wax called Persian wax and it comes in a black microwaveable container —> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018FOIA2C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_oU8VBbNP65Q0A I also feel like it’s super important to say do whatever makes you feel comfortable, some people cannot stand shaving or waxing, and some people have a routine that consists of it. Whatever makes you happy!!

My favorite resource is thriveafterabuse.com. Dana has been through it herself and speaks in practical terms. She has a Youtube channel too. On the site there are support groups and reading lists.

Lisa Romano is also on Youtube and another good resource.

The books that really resonated for me when I realized what was going on were about self care. The Body Keeps the Score was very helpful. So was Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving.

It takes time. You will be ok. Take care!

Definitely show her the dress before buying it! Even if she's not a super-picky bride, it's still important to get the go-ahead before spending money. She may have something more specific in mind that she doesn't realize until she sees it.

And it would be lovely to send a little gift. Gift cards are the easiest if you live in different countries. Or maybe get her a wedding book, if there's something you think she might like. I have bought this graphic novel for a few brides in my life, because I loved it so much when I was planning my own wedding.