Reddit mentions: The best reproductive medicine & technology books

Clearly you don't know the parts of a vagina. That's the whole point of this conversation lol. Also, I live in a two story single family home with a double garage, finished basement, finished attic, granite floors and counter tops, and hardwood everywhere else but keep projecting billy bob. Just say open bobs show vagene.

For the record, look at the people backing up my comments vs yours. The only reason your comments aren't at 0 is because I haven't downvoted you once. They sure don't like your original comment, though, because you're an uneducated virgin acting like an internet badass. You aren't impressing anyone, kiddo. You're getting pissy over someone you don't know saying you don't know shit about basic female anatomy. Might want to seek some professional help and read a book. I recommend this one.

I posted this in a different sub a couple days ago but didn't get much for response. Wonder if you have some suggestions, given that there are men and women here.

The gist of it being, I'm feeling very low right now about this supposed TTC thing. I know my circumstances are a bit different, and comparatively speaking we haven't tried for all that long. I find myself overwhelmed by grief and underwhelmed by the thought of ever getting another positive. I find myself wondering what my magic numbers are. How many cycles before I don't want to anymore? How many miscarriages can I ensure before I can't anymore? How do I figure out these answers?

Meanwhile it feels like my husband is at about the same place he was a year ago when we lost #2. The sort of yeah, its sad but it will be better. (Will it? Really? You think we'll get to leave planet-my-baby-died? I'm pretty sure it's lifetime membership....)

I wouldn't say I'm resentful, I'm just disappointed that he and I see this so differently and can't be better comfort to each other. I wish I could have his shoulder shrug it'll get better approach to it all. I wish he could understand just how broken and unsuccessful i feel after all this time with no result.

We talked a bit about this, last week. I told him how I wanted him to have a deeper understanding from a knowledge point of view. Mainly so that when we go to our infertility/repeat miscarriage appointment, he can understand and contribute to the discussion. Because I expect I'll be in tears within a minute, and too upset to remember anything or answer anything.


So now that we're on that page, I have to figure out what I would like him to read. Not Broken was excellent and I think gives a good overview of everything....

Does anyone else have suggestions? What was a must read for your partner, for you??



What else can I suggest that might be shorter or different that will help him understand this journey?

Yup. This. If you've been TTC with no success for a few years there is something wrong but no one knows what. That sucks! IVF can be diagnostic and hopefully feel less like slamming your hand in a door repeatedly but do prepare that it may take a few cycles.

Here is a book on recurrent miscarriage that others here have liked: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Broken-Approachable-Miscarriage-Recurrent/dp/0998714607?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Hi, /r/giantredwoodforest recommended I read this book about RPL: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Broken-Approachable-Miscarriage-Recurrent-ebook/dp/B06XTZW86Y
I just finished reading it and it gives you the pros and cons of using IVF as a treatment for RPL. I did skip over the eastern medicine chapters, but maybe I will read them again at another time. I will be using the book to help me decide if IVF is right for me or not. I am in a similar boat as you. I've had 3 early losses. I know this doesn't answer your question, but I thought I should mention the book. It will probably help you ask better questions during your IVF consult.

Check out “Not Broken” by Dr. Lora Shahine. It covers every known cause for recurrent loss and explains all of the tests REs typically run. It’s thoughtfully written, really easy to read, and based in science and medicine.
I had been (erm...have been) obsessing about my unexplained RPL and read this book in a day. It was fairly comforting.

Amazon link: Not Broken

So sorry for your losses, hope this helps.

Hahaha https://www.amazon.com/Infertility-Caused-Decreased-Oxygen-Utilization/dp/1543749062

It looks like you and I have some similar history - I'm also 35, TTC for 3 years, and have had 2 MMCs and CP. We are also preparing to begin IVF this summer. My RE is very skeptical about these kinds of somewhat controversial treatments since the research does not robustly support them and anything that affects your immune system has some fairly sizeable risks associated. Rather than doing any of those treatments, we are opting for IVF with PGS.

I actually just read a new book that addressed this some also, it's called Not Broken: An Approachable Guide to Miscarriage and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. The author is a grad of the Stanford RPL program and runs an RPL clinic in Seattle. I thought the book was pretty good - it is grounded in evidence and does a nice job incorporating stuff about treatment, psychological/emotional impact, and the risks around controversial treatments. For the intravenous intralipids (p. 55) she says: main use is for patients who cannot use their digestive tracts to gain nutrition and to clear toxic overdoses of some medications; a few small studies show that blood levels of NKC are lower after (although she is skeptical of the NKC stuff too, and blood v. uterine NKC levels vary a lot) but no large studies to support; immediate side effects can include - flushing, dizziness, muscle pain, nausea, and vomiting; long term side effects can include - liver and kidney dysfunction and increased risk of blood clots.

This all is a highly personal decision, and I know the very strong desire to do anything to prevent another miscarriage. For me, the lack of evidence and risks do not make it worth while. I've sort of come to accept that a large majority of MCs are because of genetic problems in the embryo.