Reddit mentions of How to Cook Your Life: From the Zen Kitchen to Enlightenment

In retreat, the conditions are optimized for your practice. The setting is relatively safe and clear, the schedule is rigorous and beyond questioning, the effort of other retreatants supports you by example and by the flow of group energy, the space is held and the course guided by a trusted facilitator, and so on. So it stands to reason that certain achievements will come more naturally in retreat. Sometimes it works that way, sometimes not; but there is a reason why people go to retreat.

But whether in retreat or out of retreat, your relationship to practice is the same: only continue, only keep moving on. Don't check your situation. Don't attach to your condition. Everything is just true, as it is; there is no need to try to manipulate.

Only your thinking makes 'forward' and 'back'. If you are aware of your finger itching, is that 'forward' or 'back'? It just is what it is. So your practice has to become broad enough to embrace every change, every situation. Your practice has to become as broad as 'just this'. Then you and things-as-they-are become one.

What's the difference between craving and looking forward? Craving is craving. Looking forward is looking forward. You yourself know the difference, or whether both are involved. It may take more introspection or sincerity, but you know whether you are indulging in craving. Enjoyment is wonderful; but you are responsible for cutting indulgence out of your life.

You say that you are clearly not in the present while you play these mind games. So you already know. Remember your priorities, and do what you have to do to meet them. Welcome to being someone... something... completely new!

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with imagining and enjoying as long as you know you're doing it and can move on without attachment. Some meditations call you to go to your 'safe place' or envision a comfortable setting so that your mind can settle and suggestions can enter deeply into you. It seems that your nighttime routine is similar. You might continue, but don't just drift in it; have a clear ending, and then offer yourself a positive suggestion like "I vow to awaken and become nourishing food for all beings." You may also envision creating sumptuous banquets and offering them to the enlightened ones, then receiving their blessings. This is not only a good way to go to sleep, but it programs your mind deeply with Dharmic intent.

You may be interested in the book How To Cook Your Life by Uchiyama Roshi, and based on Zen Master Dogen's Instructions For The Zen Cook. (Disregard the video of the same name; it follows Edward Espe Brown, who is a respected author and teacher but who is quite unclear in the video. His Tassajara Bread Book is a classic, though.)

if you are interested in Soto Zen, then I can heartily recommend the following books by Kosho Uchiyama Roshi: Opening the Hand of Thought, Refining Your Life, and The Wholehearted Way (this one is difficult). Good luck! The only advice I can give you is keep at it every day. Perseverance is the most important.