Reddit mentions of You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery

(copy and pasted my answer from another question much like your own, I feel like this was good enough to say again)

Here's what helped me when I asked that question.

1. think about all the hate and vitriol aimed at the transgender community, including all the legislation that seeks to erase us from existence.
   
2. think about all the expense, time, and painful recovery from surgery.
   
3. ask yourself who would sign up for this if they were not in fact transgender
   
4. ask yourself if you are willing to endure all this in order to feel like yourself.
   
   I think that may help. If you need further help on the subject, I would consider seeing a therapist who is knowledgeable in trans related issues. Also, if you don't want to go quite that far may I sugest a book that is currently helping me sort this stuff out. I'll post the link to the Amazon site, but you can get it other places. It's called "You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery" by Dara Hoffman-Fox. They are a non-binary gender therapist working out of Colorado and also doing YouTube videos on the subject. I highly recommend watching a few. Again they were a big help.
   
   Amazon link to book-https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1510723056/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Gender-Identity-Discovery/dp/1510723056


This book did wonders for me when I couldn't figure out what questions to ask. The author is a gender identity therapist who wrote it with the intention of being a guidebook for their patients during/in between sessions. Maybe it could be something you talk about with your therapist!

​

Best of luck.

Certainly could be, distress at gendered characteristics like period, social gendering.

Highly recommend working with a therapist, though I understand that might also feel distressing. You could start with you and your gender identity which is an ok self led resource.

It sounds like you experience intense distress, and you should consider a symptom like suicidality a reason to seek outside help. I'm sorry you're feeling depressed.

The Dara Hoffman-Fox guidebook might also be a good option to look into.

Edit: link

I'm currently working through "You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery" https://www.amazon.com/dp/1510723056 and have been finding it helpful to work through feelings in a bit more structured way than simply letting my brain run in circles. It's a whole workbook of stuff that you direct yourself. Nobody can tell you what is right for you besides yourself, but a book like that or a counselor can help you to at least start asking the right questions and give you the language to understand your feelings.

It wasn't a question, but a realization: That how I felt wasn't something to be ashamed of - that I didn't need to hide it, or repress it. That just being 'me' was okay.

That said, there is a really good book I read (https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Gender-Identity-Discovery/dp/1510723056) which did a great job walking me through the same things you are looking at.

You betcha! If you have a problem finding a therapist or if you have to wait for a while for an appointment, I highly recommend the book You And Your Gender Identity by Dara Hoffman-Fox. It's a great book to help a person zero in on what they truly feel inside.

So another person has already recommended Deb Tuffield at UCCS Health Center Primary Care (Located on Nevada), I'd like to second this, she is absolutely fantastic!

If you're also looking for a gender therapist, I would highly recommend Dara Hoffman, they're a nonbinary therapist specializing in gender therapy. They literally wrote the book on it!. They're not on any panels currently so you'll have to pay out of pocket with them, but they do fantastic work as well :)
Feel free to message me or have them as well if you both need/want any help, or even just someone to chat with or need some support!

I had a lot of the same fears when I realized I wanted to transition medically. For me, every step I took toward transitioning was scary & made me mentally recoil, but once I got used to it, I'd want to take another step closer. For myself, I think I had a pretty strong gut instinct right away of knowing that I wanted to transition, but my brain needed time to catch up. Each step I took--from buying a binder, to cutting my hair, to buying mens clothes, to starting to use mens deodorant--I went through the same two steps forward, one step back process. The good news is, even if you're doing that, you're still moving forward & you'll get where you need to be with time. While I was processing, I found this book really helpful for working through some of my fear, but in a lot of ways I think it just takes time to adjust.

You might find this https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Gender-Identity-Discovery/dp/1510723056 useful

Sorry.

If you're questioning, may I suggest checking out You and You Gender Identity: a Guide to Discovery by Dara Hoffman-Fox. It's a workbook that guides you through questioning your identity. It can save you some time no matter which way the question gets answered.

--Pat