Reddit mentions: The best wind & brass instruments for kids

To put it in trumpet terms, you have the equivalent of this. You may actually be able to get it to sound well with a different reed, but if you are really interested it is worth purchasing a decent practice chanter. I started with this package from The Piper's Hut (I found the book really helpful and think it is a bit better for the rank beginner who may not have a teacher than the 'green book' after looking at both).

The Piper's Hut has plenty of other options as well if you just want to pick up a nice practice chanter (it'll run you ~$60).

My personal favorite is the kazoobie wazoo kazoo, It's loud, but still sounds nice. Another good choice is the Schylling tin kazoo, which is a nice metal option. If you're going for something loud and annoying, which i assume you are, considering the choice of kazoo, i would say the wazoo is the best choice.

Kazoo! And don't worry, you will succeed one day! Don't forget that you're rich in generosity.
Edited for: cheepy cheepy

There's a fretless instrument similar to a theremin called an Otamatone that you'd probably enjoy.

The same company that makes the pBone also makes a [pTrumpet](pBone PTRUMPET1W Jiggs pTrumpet Plastic Trumpet with Gig Bag & 3C & 5C Mouthpieces, White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MPRVQPY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_zxAzybTC8A9ZB) and an instrument called the [pBuzz](http://www.pBuzz.com/ Kid'sMusical Instrument https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01H3E0YM4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_VwAzybA4K6FAF), which is like a slide vuvuzela. The pBone and pTrumpet sound surprisingly good when played with regular (metal) mouhtpieces!

Here’s the mask

And here’s the trumpet (sadly the kazoo partstopped working after a few days)

edit: I got the suit at goodwill for $3

no, it's called saxaflute https://www.amazon.com/Quercetti-Saxoflute-Build-Musical-Instrument/dp/B000FIZ8YA