(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best parents books for children

I think some of that comes from a fear of the unknown... since you don't really "know" your second (or third, or fourth...) yet, it's hard to feel like you "love" them.

4 kids here, absolutely no issues -- each child is an individual person that I love as much as is possible to love someone. As has been said, though, there are certain quirks or characteristics about each different kid that may stand out or have more significance to you or your partner -- but it's not really something that matters with respect to the question, "Do I love this child?"

Consider yourself as a child; assuming you had both parents around, did you love one more than the other? Or other family or friends that you love? Which Grandmother or Grandfather did you love more? (You get the idea.) :)

We bought this book for our 3 oldest when we were expecting our fourth: You're All My Favorites

It's a good read for the kiddos, but also a nice perspective for the parents, too.

Self Improvement:

1. Tell me about it. In my 20's, I ate everything under the sun and could barely maintain. Around 35, that shit ended. I did keto to lose it, but now eat a low-carb diet to keep it off. How are your cooking skills? What eating habits do you think are hindering your goals? Mine was beer and late-night carb snacking.
   
   
2. What stopped? I'm guessing a combination of stress, depression and too much fucking life! Something else, maybe?
   
   
3. Ooooh! What did you create before? Sounds interesting!
   
   
   Stuff for your daughter:
   
   
4. A walk before or after dinner. Every day. Teach her to observe. The birds and bugs. The spray paint markings on the street. See a plane in the sky? Ask her where she thinks it is going. Ask her why she thinks the leaves on the tree are changing color and falling off. It is a great chance to bond with her and help her learn (and for you to learn from here). It also helps with your first self-improvement item. During our walks, we end up playing tag, sumo wrestling (she wins a lot), a stripped-down fartlek (you might call them Indian runs), or her invention--running while holding hands. She loves these games and it gets my ass out of a chair. Again, the bonding time is unmatched.
   
   
5. Temper your expectations here. I say do it with gusto, but know that you will need tough skin if the PTA is mostly moms. They will see you as an intruder (as they do with most men in early education). I'm not one bit saying not to do it. Just know that you'll have to be extra tough and persistent. I would suggest also joining a dad's group. It's a good way for you to meet other motivated dads and learn additional dadcraft skills. PM me if you're having a hard time finding one in your area.
   
   
6. 4-5 books a night. This is the best damn thing you can do for your daughter. Your local library is awesome. Don't forget that they can order other books from other neighboring libraries. We have dealth with death (The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, When Dinosaurs Die), potty training (Potty), divorce (Two Homes), science (Baby Loves Thermodynamics or Scientist Scientist), anatomy (Contemplating Your Belly Button), personal conduct (any of the Toddler Tools books from Free Spirit Publishing). I also throw one Dad book in each night like Kisses for Daddy, Grizzly Dad, Daddy Cuddles, Because I'm Your Dad and others. The DC Superheroes Character Education series is pretty nice. It also helps your bond with your daughter along with improving her reading skills.

As you said, definitely a good idea to wait until you have a more definitive prognosis, but there are some resources I can suggest for when that time comes. If you end up with a cancer diagnosis, or actually even if you don't, I highly recommend the picture book Let My Colors Out - it briefly mentions that the mom has cancer but mostly just refers to her being very sick, so you could skip the cancer sentence and it would work just as well. Most of the other cancer books focus on aspects of treatment that may or may not apply to you (hair loss from chemo, etc) but there also a few books that explain long-term parental illness more broadly which might be worth checking out, such as Mommy Has to Stay in Bed and Mommy Can't Dance. None of these touch on the idea of terminal illness, however. There are only a couple picture books I'm aware of that show both before and after the death - The Fix-It Man is a beautiful story of a little girl who thinks her dad can fix anything, until her mother dies of an unspecified long-term illness and the girl and her dad try to come to terms with the loss; and Ida, Always is a story about two polar bears who are best friends until one develops a terminal illness, gets increasingly sick, and eventually dies. Both are obviously pretty emotional stories, but manage to end on a note of hope and healing. There's also a very simple activity book called Help Me Say Goodbye to help children understand terminal illness and cope after their loved one dies; it's designed for slightly older kids but would definitely be something a 4yo could work through with you and your partner.

There are other picture books that take place immediately after the parent's death, such as The Garden of Hope which shows a father and young daughter coping with the loss of her mother; Missing Mommy which is told from the perspective of a very young child trying to understand where his deceased mother has gone; and The Scar, also from the perspective of a young boy whose mother has just died (the opening lines are, "Mom died this morning. It wasn't really this morning. Dad said she died during the night, but I was sleeping during the night. For me, she died this morning.") This last one may not be appropriate for a 4yo, as it's longer and more complex, and quite emotionally intense. There are also a few picture books that I feel are a bit more aimed at the parents than the children, but may be meaningful to you - A Bubble, which was written by a dying mother to her two-year-old daughter, and Only One of Me, which was written by a mother to her children upon receiving a diagnosis of terminal cancer.

And of course there books that help children understand and cope with death of a loved one more broadly - for a 4yo, I would recommend I Miss You: A First Look at Death as a good non-fiction explanation and The Goodbye Book for a very simple look at the feelings that come with saying goodbye when someone dies. I also really like the book Life is Like the Wind, which explains death as life leaving the body the way wind leaves a kite and causes it to no longer fly; it does a good job of concretely explaining what death means and how it feels to lose someone you love, and also briefly explores different beliefs about what happens after you die ("People have different ideas about where a life goes when it leaves the body. Some people believe the life enters another body to give life to a new creature. Others believe life goes to a happy place called heaven, where the life can enjoy its favorite things. Some think life goes deep into the ground, giving new life to trees and flowers, or that life goes way up into the stars, where it twinkles brightly and watches over us.") There are also some good books that focus on ways to remember lost loved ones, such as The Memory Box, Here in the Garden, and Always and Forever. There are also several other activity books to help children process grief, such as Muddles, Puddles, and Sunshine and Why Did You Die? Activities to Help Children Cope with Grief & Loss.

Lastly, I'd like to recommend two books that aren't about illness or death specifically but might be very reassuring to your daughter, and you could start reading them now in any case - The Invisible String and No Matter What. The latter has both a UK edition and a US edition with slightly different text, most notably the endings; the UK version includes a line about love continuing after death, which the US one sanitizes into just "when you're far away" - I recommend taking a look at both versions and deciding which you prefer (here are youtube videos showing the US version and UK version). There's also a workbook/activity book coming out in a couple months to go with the Invisible String book, so might be worth checking that out too when it's available.

I hope all this information isn't too overwhelming - feel free to save this post for a time when you feel up to dealing with it, or hand it off to your partner to sort through. Hopefully you'll find something in here helpful. There are also lots of good resources online to advise you on how to have these conversations with your daughter; I'd recommend checking out the comments in this recent post for some good links. Especially be sure to check out the Sesame Street resources on grief in young children, lots of useful stuff in there. I also definitely recommend both you and your partner speaking to a counselor (and your daughter too eventually). I can't imagine going through something like this, and while I completely understand the guilt you feel, I really hope you can find ways to let go of that and enjoy the time you have left with your family. Wishing you healing and peace.

Have you heard of the book "Lunch Money" by Andrew Clements? It's the story of a 6th grade kid who starts creating comic books to sell at his school. It's mostly text but also has some comic sections, and there is a really good portion midway through where he is explaining (to Maura) the elements that make a comic story work well. How to design it and how the pictures should look. This section, or the whole book, might be fun to incorporate with this project.

Also, have you tried using the computer software Comic Life? You should see if your school computer lab already has or can get it. Works great for projects like this! You could have the students take their own pictures and add text and do it all digitally, or print off the templates and make their own drawings.

Here is a lesson I found using comic strips. This may not be exactly what you're looking for, but hopefully have some good ideas that may help you out.
http://www.teachingenglish.org.uk/language-assistant/teaching-tips/using-cartoons-comic-strips
Best of luck!!!

There are some really beautiful pop up books. I know they're delicate and not meant for two year olds, but my daughter loved this one at around the same age. We kept it higher up on the bookshelf, out of her reach, and reading it was really special because she had to be calm and still and very gentle with the pages while we read it to her, then it went right back up on the shelf. She's almost seven now and it's still in really good condition. I think pop up books are great gifts.

Edit: This one looks good too. It's not as elaborate as the Maurice Sendak one I linked too, but I think it's made for younger kids. Amazon appears to have a "pop up books for toddlers" category.

I work at a kid's bookstore and get this question all the time! Here are some of my favorite recommendations:

The Chrestomanci books by Diana Wynne Jones, and some of her other books too, like Howl's Moving Castle would be fantastic. She writes great fantasy.

The Emerald Atlas series is great for adventure.

Shannon Hale writes wonderful fairy tale type books. Start her off with Princess Academy or Goose Girl.

Jessica Day George is also a favorite at our store. Tuesdays at the Castle or Dragon Slippers would be great starts to new series.

Kate DiCamillo is wonderful. Her newest book Flora & Ulysses was awesome.

I loved Savvy and Scumble by Ingrid Law. If she likes those she could also try A Tangle of Knots and A Snicker of Magic. Not all one series, but similar ideas.

And lastly maybe something by Brandon Mull? He writes really fun fantasy adventure stories.

My son is 2.5, I love reading to him.

He absolutely loves The Gruffalo and can remember all the words. He even says randomly "Daddy, i'm going to tell you a story about the gwuffawo"

Monkey Puzzle is also a fave.

Hungry Caterpillar is a must really. One of my childhood favourites.

The Lauren Child books are great fun too.

Join the library if you havent already (my boy has his own library card which he thinks is pretty cool) it means you don't have to buy them all and aren't stuck with piles of them. He also likes going and choosing them too.

Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You

ok, so mine wasn't on my list before today(never thought of putting books on my wishlist, I've always been very much into brick and mortar book stores) But we already have two other books by this author, It's time to sleep my love, and On the night you were born. They are beautifully written, reading them is almost like singing a lullaby, and they are illustrated beautifully as well, not super bright colors but realistic looking animals and just lovely. They are my daughter's favorite books(she's 13months), and we'd love to finally have the last one.

She also needs to learn to listen to adults that aren't you, and to listen to adults when you're not around to reinforce the idea that she needs to listen to them. She also needs to learn to follow directions, sit in a circle or at a table with the other kids, and other adult-directed behavior along with various small behaviors that exist in a classroom setting that don't happen on the playground or at library story time.

It's okay if she cries. She's not the first kid to go through that and she won't be the last, the preschool teachers should be equipped to help her (and you!) get through that first stage so she can learn that school is fun and exciting. It's definitely worth it for the long term payoff so try to keep your eyes on the prize.

One book that might be helpful for both of you is You Go Away. I adore this book and we went from a guaranteed meltdown when dad went to his weekly guys night in the evening to "Bye dada, you go see friends, I help" and then running to get daddy's shoes for him.

Talk to them about it as they grow up. Explain the brain differences she has and help externalize the illness as something separate from her and something she experiences. Help them know that her reactions to things they do are not their fault (or hers). Never ignore it or think they won't notice.

My husband was diagnosed when my kids were a bit older. We had them in therapy as soon as he had his manic episode. They may need therapists so they can talk through some of the things to an unbiased person. My kids will continue to go to therapy and I will always encourage it. Mom may be the one suffering internally, but it's a whole family disorder. Allow your kids to always express their true feelings about it in a safe space. It's great that she calms down and apologizes. That's really great! She will have bad moments and that's ok. That's understandable. Modeling apologies and admitting when you're wrong will go a long way. They will be forgiving and understanding. They may also go through periods where they're angry and resentful. Don't dismiss those feelings. Always validate them. They will do just fine if you do!

I also made a kids book because I want other people to start the conversation with their kids too. To normalize it in a way. The book may not be super relevant to what your kids go through because it's based more on the bipolar 1 manic side. I plan to make one for bipolar 2 as well, but am in school full time and it's hard to take the time for the drawings. It makes me nervous to post the link because I don't want to give the impression I'm in it for the money. I make almost nothing off of it. But here it is if that is at ALL helpful: My Dad has Bipolar 1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/1549651420/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_mDeGDbJ05C1CN

I'm not familiar with books about body image but I don't think that books need to be about body image to make young black kids comfortable with their blackness - just reading about normal, well-written black characters is enough for some kids. (Even seeing a black face on the back of the book or illustrated on the cover is a good thing for young people.) There are a bunch of books out there that address the topic of fitting in and what it's like to be black in America and feel "normal," but those books are usually catered to pre-teens and I don't know enough about them to give any recommendations.

There are a bunch of good books out there by black writers (all of the ones I can think of right now are by women) that have black main characters and convey a positive message (not just about being black) that I think might help. Check out these books and their authors:

• Plain City by Virginia Hamilton
  
• Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson
  
• Mindscape by Andrea Hairston
  
• Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
  
• Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor
  
• Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper
  
• Words with Wings by Nikki Grimes

When I was very young my favorite books were

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Little Mommy


Spooky Old Tree

and this old book called Socks For Supper that I used to read with my great grandmother.

I love books. Great topic, by the way!

• Monsters Eat Whiny Children - an awesome title.
  
  
• Your Disgusting Head: The Darkest, Most Offensive and Moist Secrets of Your Ears, Mouth and Nose (Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance) -- this was is just intentionally weird, but also has a quality and shiny cover.
  
  
• If You Give a Mouse an iPhone: A Cautionary Tail - A parody of the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie books.
  
  
• Cinderella - a photo book story of dogs in costumes
  
  
• Frank and Earnest -- I kept this one because it seems like a subtlety told story about a gay inter-species couple. It's kind of like the Burger King commercials run years ago that were talked about as being interpreted different ways based on who was watching the ad.
  
  
• The Gods from Outer Space: Descent into the Andes -- This is a color large format comic book (semi-thick cover) "based on the work of Erich von Dankin." He's an author who believes aliens visited us in the ancient past.
  
  
• Nobody Listens to Andrew -- When Andrew says there's a bear in his bedroom, you better goddamn believe him.
  
  
• Dick and Jane and Vampires -- This looks and reads like a Dick & Jane book that's been modified to include a vampire in every scene and the dialogue expertly changed.
  
  
• The Zombie Night Before Christmas
  
  
• That's Not Your Mommy Anymore: A Zombie Tale -- This one I bought new.
  
  
• A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic - A Christmas gift for my wife.
  
  
• Beware Beware -- I can't find pictures online other than this one. It looks like a 1700s family and caught me off guard by being super creepy as the warnings persist to beware as a child goes into the forest. There are gnarled images discernible in the forest. Nothing actually happens in the story, but it creates suspense for a small child.
  
  
• Charlie The Acidophilus -- A book about maintaining good gut health. It includes a CD of the song, 'Do the Acidophilus Hula.' It was apparently written by a grandmother for her grandchildren. I think it might be self-published.
  
  
• Cooking with Heinz Ketchup
  
  
• Barbie Voyage to Rados -- These Barbie books are story books that use photos of Barbie dolls positioned in different scenes. This particular story is far out.
  
  
• Jalapeno Bagels -- A story about a Mexican bagel shop. It's by a local author about a real bagel shop
  
  
• Super Cilantro Girl -- Her teeth turn green, her hair becomes cilantro, and she flies over the border wall to rescue her mother who has been deported.
  
  
• Learning How to Learn - a serious book about how to teach children from L. Ron Hubbard the Scientology founder. It's just a freakish curiosity. It reminds me that I foolishly gave away another book, a lusciously produced book about dinosaurs from a creation museum.

Monkey Puzzle?