Reddit mentions of Boundaries

/r/relationships may be better.

Make your position clear and stick to it. It may require you to move out of the house, which you can afford.

This would likely be a good read http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/1480554979


You could also look into buying your own home, and charging your brother 600$ in rent to help cover your mortgage. It allows you control over the situation, but while you are under your mother's gaze, you need to follow her rules; it sounds like she can not afford to loose you though.

yeah if the training isn't an option, this book on setting healthy boundaries might be a good alternative.
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/1480554979

Warning, it does have some religious overtones, but to be honest, I think that is actually helpful in this type of book since some people tend to cross boundaries when it comes to how they interpret religion.

I have also dabbled a bit with NLP - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming

Read a few books on the topic and use some of the techniques to influence my thinking and to try and interpret others.

Children need boundaries. If you don't establish and enforce them, then it actually hurts their development. You should not let your daughter do as she pleases, lest she develop habits that will not serve her well later in life and your permissiveness lead her to the conclusion that you do not love her.
It is obviously difficult to establish healthy boundaries once you have gone for a while without them. I have a few words and tips to guide you. First of all, it does not matter one bit whether that child is yours. Despite Maury Povich's catchphrese, being a father means taking an active role in her life. Your daughter deserves a father, so you should feel very good for stepping up to the plate. Do not punish your daughter because her mother made poor choices. This book is an excellent introduction to the concept of "boundaries." (It is written by two Christian authors...don't be put off, I am as secular as they come, and I can tell you that, Bible verses and all, it is extremely useful.) From there you should check out [this book] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1480555002), which is parenting-specific.
Bless you for stepping up to the plate, dad!

Being a compassionate Christian does not mean you have to indulge your mother's negative manipulations of you for attention.

Have you heard of the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend? I would encourage you to read it.

If you still struggle afterwards, you should consider looking in to a (Christian) therapist on what healthy behaviour looks like and how to change the dynamic between the two of you. I only suggest a Christian one since he/she may be able to make points that better speak to your religious beliefs, but any therapist should be able to help you develop good boundaries.

My mom is like this, I spent a lot of time on /raisedbynarcissists. I definitely thought she had a Cluster B Personality Disorder. Now, I'm not so sure. I wonder if she has autism. My son does and I'm pursuing a diagnosis.

I wonder if she's really enabling because she just doesn't get your cues that you want to do something by yourself?

You might like this book. It has a slight Christian side to it but I am not Christian and it didn't bother me. I felt like it was really valuable for me in putting some distance between my mom and I.

https://www.amazon.ca/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/1480554979

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/1480554979 This book was the wake up call when I realized I had crapy internal and external boundary setting skills.

Check out this book. It might help you and your SO.

No. Don't do it. You might want to try reading Boundaries. Borrowing money doesn't get you out of debt. Loaning money to someone is a bad idea. If you want to help them, GIVE money on the condition that they start closing accounts and clean up their act.