Reddit mentions of Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

OP.

You don't have to justify shit. Its your business, its your time, and its your life!

Tell them, look we both want your bookkeeping to be accurate. It is clear in the past there have been challenges, and we/I are no longer the right firm to support you.

XXXX will be our last invoice.

Thank you and good luck.


Do this by phone, and send the discussion points by email! You can walk away. They may not pay your last invoice, but consider that bad karma on them.


If you need a pep yourself up a bit more go read this: https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second-ebook-dp-B005K0AYH4/dp/B005K0AYH4/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=

​

Personally I like how /u/aphex732 worded his response, try that too.

This one by Kerry Patterson?

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005K0AYH4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_Z.LUBbZF51KCH

Couples counseling is the right decision when you both want to put effort towards fixing your problems, but you don't know exactly how to do it. It has nothing to do with how long you've been in the relationship. It is a mature decision that the both of you should make together with open minds. It has healed so many wounds in my relationship and we even argue calmly now and hear each other's points and come to a solution. It's freakin amazing! In the meantime, I recommend this book to learn how to effectively communicate without making the other person feel attacked. It's a skill I've used in so many aspects of my life. LINK

PM me if you want to talk about it. I know what you're going through. It's really rough.

Of the folks that I've offered social skills coaching to, one of the most common issues I see is unmanaged social anxiety. Just about everyone experiences some degree of anxiety in social situations, but people who struggle socially sometimes don't have any good skills for managing the anxiety, which causes them to spiral downwards in social situations - they feel anxious, which causes them to act strangely, which causes other people to react with confusion, which causes them to feel more anxious. The good news is that social anxiety is not something you're just stuck with - you can learn really good skills for managing it and making it impact you less. The /r/socialskills wiki has some great books on social anxiety, and professional counselors are also often a really good resource for helping with this.

In people that I just see in my day-to-day life (not coaching clients), I see a lot of folks that really struggle to handle conflict well - they'll either avoid conflict entirely through avoidance or letting other people walk over them, or explode into anger. It's a shame because conflict can be so destructive in relationships - and you can learn how to handle conflict in a non-destructive way. A good starting point is the book [Crucial Conversations])https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second-ebook/dp/B005K0AYH4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1526253778&sr=8-2&keywords=crucial+conversations) - many people notice significant improvements in their conflict skills just a few chapters in.

I've been in QA for about three years - started out in Support, kept getting stuck with the "weird" tickets, got better at troubleshooting and bug hunting, and eventually started doing testing with the dev team. Working at very small startups helped speed this process up tremendously. I'm now working at a ~500 person company (huuuuuge from my perspective, I'm used to a dozen coworkers, tops!) and learned Selenium/Capybara automated tests about a year ago.

I haven't found any quality-related books that have interested me, and most of the technical resources I've found have just been whatever pops up on Google/Stack Overflow. I am also subscribed to this subreddit, and /r/qualityassurance, but they're both pretty low-traffic, and I wish more articles were shared here. If there are any blog posts that have resonated with you, I'd love to take a look as well!

The best thing I've done for myself, technically, was re-writing our automated UI test suite in POM. This ended up saving me hours of work a few months later when we added a bunch of new features, and I just had to copy-paste a few things to test for them. This is a good overview:

https://www.guru99.com/page-object-model-pom-page-factory-in-selenium-ultimate-guide.html

Because of how much grief this saved me, I continue to evangelize for it!

I can, however, recommend some management/team/soft skills/business-y books! I'm not in love with my current company, so I end up reading a lot of these to keep myself sane and motivated. Here are some of the ones I've liked the best:

• First, Break All The Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently
  
• The Manager's Path: A Guide for Tech Leaders Navigating Growth and Change
  
• Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst
  
• Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, Managers, and Facilitators
  
• Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
  
• The Accidental Creative: How to Be Brilliant at a Moment's Notice
  
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
  
• Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior - Kindle version on sale today for $2!
  
• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Edition: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships
  
  A lot of these are available in libraries too, and I've made a habit of checking them out there, and buying them if I really like them.
  
  I hope this helps!

Hmmmmm for your specific situation, I recommend "the Secret Handshake"

​

But for conflict resolution in general (where you are facilitating - not trying to save your own ass) I recommend Getting to Yes and Crucial Conversations

As an aside, you might also enjoy a similar communication approach called Crucial Conversations, which is similarly focused on going beyond silence and violence in dialogue.

Their approach is specifically geared towards workplace trainings, which is why I mention it. Here's some more info if you're interested:

• Book
  
• Events
  
• Trainings
  
• Talk by the author
  
  I just finished the book and really enjoyed it as a compliment to NVC.

I'm someone that had to learn those social skills, primarily through making mistakes and receiving help from friends/mentors. I'd probably see the person in a more positive light since they realized that it's an area they could improve upon and took steps to change things.


Also, they should check out Crucial Conversations. It helped me a lot in the past.

http://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second-ebook/dp/B005K0AYH4/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Maybe a bit lengthier of a response than you're looking for, but try reading Crucial Conversations. It's a great discussion on how to effectively handle these types of conversations.

You might try giving Crucial Conversations a read. Good luck!

Lovely piece of advice. Also I'd never heard of this book but many people in this topic have (and over 1000 reviews, sheesh):

https://smile.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second-ebook/dp/B005K0AYH4

You find it challenging because you don't possess the interpersonal skills to affect change in others.

You've tried before, people say no, you don't have a response and you get flustered and resentful.

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B005K0AYH4/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Buy it, learn how to talk to people, stop being a passive aggressive dick and do your kids a massive favour.