Reddit mentions of Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing

Wow, what an intense situation. I'm really sorry.

I don't think there's any point in reaching out to BM. You can't argue with crazy. Regardless of what SS tells her, you know the truth of what happens in your home, and that's all that matters. She'll choose to believe him over you if it suits her purposes to do so, and might believe you next time. There's no rhyme or reason to that type of personality in my experience.

How do you feel about the psych sessions? Is the counselor buying BM's bullshit, or listening neutrally to both sides? If the latter, don't worry about what BM thinks or says. Yes, it's infuriating on principle, but if the counselor can see through her nonsense then it doesn't matter in the big picture.

>How can we expect SS to have any respect for us or his stepsister if BM is running her mouth off with a bunch of lies?

This is a tricky issue. As SS gets older, he'll be able to see for himself that what she says doesn't line up with reality. At this age, you may have to resign yourself to listening to some brainwashy crap come out of his mouth as he parrots whatever his mom is spewing. Keep leading by example, and keep pointing reality out to him without directly saying his mom is lying. What you're describing is one of the defining qualities of parental alienation, so I recommend reading Divorce Poison, which offers an excellent overview and some tips for management.

As for the punching, kicking, and hitting, I don't even know what to say. You're doing everything I can think of already, so I guess take some Internet hugs from me and keep going to therapy.