Reddit mentions of DYNAPRO Exercise Ball - 2,000 lbs Stability Ball - Professional Grade - Anti Burst Exercise Equipment for Home, Balance, Gym, Core Strength, Yoga, Fitness, Desk Chairs (Black, 55 Centimeters)

Hey man, sounds like you're dealing with a lot. I've been in a similar place, and I have kind of a lot I'd like to say. It'll be really long, but if you'll bear with me, I hope it'll be helpful. I'll address your questions about weight loss and working out first, but I'd also like to talk about the mental health side of things, if that's not too presumptuous.

I've lost like 30-40lbs in the last year-ish, and I'd still like to lose a bit more and be in better shape generally before I start my medical transition. Any advice I'm about to give you is based solely on my experience; I don't claim any particular expertise, and I don't know much more about this than the most rudimentary science.

I don't really know anything about fasting (just not for me) so I can't help you there. At the end of the day, though, the most important thing for your weight loss is just consuming fewer calories than you expend. If it works best for you to accomplish that through fasting, and you do it safely, I suppose that's fine. I'm not a doctor though, and it's always a good idea to consult with one before making a major lifestyle change.

If you get your diet in check (note: I'm using diet as in the food you eat day to day, not a regimented plan that assumes an end point) you'll lose weight. That's the most important thing in weight loss. Exercise is, in some ways, extra credit.

However, with that said, if you want to make sure that a higher percentage of the weight you lose is fat and not muscle, working out is definitely a good idea. It's also just generally good for you, both physically and in terms of mental health. While dysphoria can sometimes make it hard for me to get started, working out is the only thing I've found that consistently helps alleviate dysphoria.

For a variety of reasons, I prefer to workout at home pretty much exclusively. For me, it was worthwhile to invest in a set of adjustable dumbbells kinda like these. I'm pre-T and not super strong, so two 25lb dumbbells allows me to get a pretty good workout on most lifts. Not bodybuilder stuff, by any means, but good for maintaining muscle and gaining some strength. I also bought a cheap exercise ball from Walmart (you know, one of these things) and used that like a bench + it lets you do some core work. I've expanded my home gym a lot since then, but those items were all I needed to get started.

For options that cost you $0, I rely heavily on workout videos posted to youtube for cardio and to switch up my weight routine. My personal favorite is a channel called Group HIIT because there's literally no talking in the videos. You just do your workout and then call it a day. They have lots of videos that are just bodyweight exercises, no equipment required. Other channels I like are Hasfit, and Fitness Blender but there are dozens of channels out there, and you can find the ones that fit your preferences and abilities. Also a quick note on these––I often get into a workout and realize it's a little bit more than I can handle. If that happens to you, that's okay! Just do the best you can with it, and try again another day. You'll be surprised with how quickly you can improve when you keep at it, especially within the first few weeks. Your nervous system will adapt super quick, and you'll be a lot more efficient and coordinated with your movements before you even start gaining muscle.

I hope that's helpful. If you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them (to the best of my ability), so don't hesitate to ask or PM.

If it's ok, I'd like to kinda talk about something you said in your post:

> I hate going out now. I can deal with myself when I'm alone, but going outside ANYWHERE makes me really hate myself knowing that people associate me with this body. It's hard to go to grocery stores . . .

So honestly, this sounds like something I could have written about three years ago. I came out in the midst of a really bad depressive episode, and quickly developed pretty serious agoraphobia. It's not something I really talk about much because it was such a tough period for me. I'm really sorry you're dealing with something similar.

I don't know you, and I don't know your situation, but I worry that this is something that could become pretty serious if left unchecked. As with all things anxiety, if you continue to avoid what you're anxious about it gains more and more power over you. If it's at all an option for you, I would encourage you to consider seeing a therapist or other mental health professional. This can be difficult stuff to work through, and I'd love for you to have the dedicated support of someone who knows what they're talking about.

As far as stuff you can do outside of therapy to combat that aversion to going out, it's really important to challenge those negative feelings. I totally get not wanting to be seen, especially doing something like jogging (I still have issues with that myself). So, instead of diving in head first, could you try saying "I'm going to go for a five minute walk outside"? Try doing that every few days, and when that starts to feel kind of okay, bump it up to ten minutes.

I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but seriously, life is too short for dysphoria to completely own you. It may seem tempting to just stay in your room and hide "until you lose 70lbs" or "until you pass" or "until you start T" or whatever benchmark is important to you. But you'll get to your goals so much faster, and live a life that's so much fuller if you don't put your life on hold until you reach some (relatively arbitrary) benchmark. Take it from someone who did the literal opposite of that and is still busting their ass to put their life back together.

I hope that doesn't come off too preachy, or self-important. I'm rooting for you, man, and if I can be helpful at all you know where to find me.

EDIT: fixed some typos