Reddit mentions of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

>I am 20 year old and I can't even draw a proper face.

I want to be clear about this: the first thing that you need to understand is that drawing is a skill. Specifically a learnable skill. Most people think that being able to draw is something that you are either talented at or you're not, and that is 100% not true.

Second, how do you approach learning how to draw? From a high-level perspective, there are 3 parts:

1. Learning each drawing tool step-by-step...shading, coloring, perspective, shapes, sizes, etc.
   
2. Picking things to draw
   
3. Sticking with both of those & making consistent progress on them, without quitting
   
   As a skill, some people like to draw from a young age, and so they spend a lot of time learning all of the rules by feel & drawing random stuff, and so they get really good at it because they stick with it & do it over & over & over again to master the basic techniques & generate artwork. People aren't just magically "good" at drawing; they're good at it because they've put in the time doing it. Thus, we need to develop a good Approach Theory:
   
   

• Drawing is a skill, not a talent people magically have
  
• It takes time to get good at it, so don't expect instant, overnight results
  
• How good you get & how fast you get good is directly a result of (1) working on the right things (2) consistently, like on a daily basis
  
  This shifts the story from a fixed mindset of "oh, some people are just good artists, and I guess I'm not..." to being able to create a plan to achieve what you want with a growth mindset of "art is the result of skill, which is based on learning & practicing the techniques & actually creating artwork on a regular basis". Realizing that the path to success involves repetition & starts with being bad at stuff is key, because the real route to getting good at stuff involves slowly failing again & again without giving up. Adventure Time nailed it:
  
  https://i.imgur.com/bA2Z3aY.gif
  
  There are tons of videos on Youtube of people's progress in art; here's an example video:
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0aRhEePYK8
  
  There are a couple good books, which are available as audiobooks, that'd I recommend if you want to learn more about how talent is developed & how success is achieved:
  
  
• The Talent Code, by Daniel Coyle
  
• Grit, by Angela Duckworth (watch this 6-minute video first)
  
  Third, you simply need to do design up a simple program & work on it every day. I highly recommend using the X-effect approach, because it's easy & it works great:
  
  https://www.reddit.com/r/theXeffect/wiki/index
  
  Before we talk more about that, I also want to dig into motivation for a second: when doing anything, it's a bit like a movie - you have the plot (the step-by-step procedure for doing something) and you have the story (the reasons why, the motivation, the excitement, the desire). Your job is design a good plot (a plan) & to define your story (why you're doing it). This may sound a bit technical, but I've found that this is the fastest & most efficient way to make effective progress on anything you want to get better at.
  
  part 1/2

First of all, you didn’t bomb it. You got an average score, and not average as in an average person out of the 7 billion people on earth. Average as in students who have for the most part already obtained undergraduate degrees and who are interested in pursuing further study. Second of all, take it again. Power of grit.

Power of Grit

So... I was that guy.

It's somewhat painful to think about how much of a lazy ass-hat I was. I went through several relationships, roommates, jobs, and residences before eventually getting my shit together. Even now (in my 30s), I haven't fully shaken off the 1.0 Beta Version of myself.

I'm not sure what 18 year old me needed to kick my ass into shape, but I can tell you this: no one can change you but yourself. You're not going to be able to change him. He needs to value hustle and grit and tenacity. If you care about him, leave him. He is not in a good place to be in a relationship. His relationships are likely based on the ease and convenience of those relationships. For example, his parents giving him money when he could get a job, you travelling to him, living at home; these are all out of convenience. Ask yourself about his friendships and how he interacts with people. How convenient/easy/effortless are his relationships?

This dude needs to learn that working for things is important. Effort is important. If he wanted you, he would do the work necessary to keep you. His laziness likely stems from fear of failure and fear of success, as well as his parents coddling him.

Leave him, but might I suggest, you also leave him with some suggested reading material:

Grit by Angela Duckworth

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Outliers, The Tipping Point, Blink, David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

Last, but certainly not least: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski - This one isn't so much for him as it is for anyone he dates in the future. This book discusses female sexuality, anatomy, and sex drive. It has helped me get laid with the wife a BUNCH.

I don't know if it is just growing up and maturing, but I can not emphasize enough how much these books have changed my life. These books have kicked me in the ass and made me a better man. My wife also played a major role in kicking my ass into gear, but we got married young and we were basically forced to make it work if we didn't want to get divorced, so I do not suggest staying with him to "fix him". He's got a ton of work to do on himself. You seem like you've got your shit well enough together, so don't tie yourself to a weight that heavy. It will hold you back and drag you down. It will get worse before it gets better. You can absolutely find someone who makes you happy and who contributes to the relationship. I've been married for 11 years, with 4 kids, and both my wife and I are pursuing our passions (I also happen to be a musician/creative type), while holding down full time jobs. We are madly in love, she is my best friend, and I am forever grateful for the work she put in to help me along.

Hell, just have him read this:

Bruh. I was you. Things seem to take so much effort, don't they? You probably have visions of yourself making music for a living, right? Record deals, and stage lights, and recording in fancy studios, right? Well, guess what? It's absolutely possible to make that happen. But you need to work for it. If something is worth wanting, it is worth working for. If you aren't really working for it, do you really want it? You need to make small steps toward an ultimate goal that you want to pursue and stick to it. By 28 years old, you could have a record deal. You could be touring. You could win a Grammy. I'm not kidding. You could if you hit the ground hard, right now, and start kicking your own ass. Get up and move or you're going to be in your 30's just starting to pursue your passions and you'll feel like you've wasted so much goddamn time.

I wish you both the best of luck. I hope this helps.

30 minute - 2 hour morning routine example

• wake up
  
• open a notebook and write/draw what comes to mind, 0-5min
  
• consume a tiny energy booster (smoothie, apple, lemon juice)
  
• read something (sci-fi, tech, philosophy related), 1-30 min
  
• exercise (upper body, or shoot some hoops), 5min-1hr
  
• review japanese, 1-30min
  
  This way you will passively (sort of) be moving toward your goals with a morning routine. And before the day even starts, you'll feel accomplished and satisfied with the days productivity. This leaves you a lot of free room to be creative with the rest of your day.
  
  If you're open to book recommendations, I'd point you in the direction of Grit and So Good They Can't Ignore You. Both of those titles are available in audio format - so you could listen to them during your commute if you wanted. And both should point you to solid solutions for reaching your goals.
  
  The book about grit has a section which should expand your understanding of how goal pursuit could work for you. Basically, you won't know every step to get from point A to point B, but you'll know of at least 1 step that moves you in the direction you think you want to go. And that 1 step is enough to keep you moving up pyramid of your goals. And there will potentially be 20,000 (wild number) other parallel steps which could do the same thing. (visualize the base level of a pyramid and all these potential ambitions all being represented by blocks of stone at the bottom; and visualize that the top level of the pyramid is one stone that represents what you understand your purpose in life to be, or some top level goal).