Reddit mentions of Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters

I'm reading a new book called Mothers who can't love by Susan Forward (who also wrote Toxic Parents). It's a really excellent book, and doesn't just cover narcs but several other types of mothering that do damage to children. It also talks about how to heal from it and how to deal with your relationship with your mother. One of the few books I've seen that actually has a chapter on NC.

You can do this. Your mom is a real piece of work (based solely on this story), and you deserve to live your life and not have to put up with being manipulated like this.

Hugs if you want them.

I agree with the other commenters that this really isn’t about your food. Your mom sounds a bit toxic and I’d recommend distancing yourself from her. Doing so is hard because we’re societally taught that mom is good and not to question her or her love or behavior. But that’s not always the case. A book that really helped me see the issues in my relationship with my mom was Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward.

Also, I’d recommend therapy to help talk through everything that’s happened, how it’s affected you, and moving forward. This should just be you though, taking her with you probably won’t go well.

I have a shelf full, but here are some winners for BPD:

Toxic Parents

Mothers Who Can't Love
Emotionally Absent Mother

Will I Ever Be Good Enough

Drama of the Gifted Child

Children of the Self-Absorbed

Here are some resources I found. I hope they are helpful.

Books:

https://www.amazon.com/Will-Ever-Good-Enough-Narcissistic/dp/1439129436/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3KJOS5MCJHDF6&keywords=will+i+ever+be+good+enough&qid=1569021426&s=gateway&sprefix=will+i+ever+be+%2Caps%2C231&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Mother-Understanding-Narcissism-Daughters-ebook/dp/B07X7XKZBY/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=npd+mother+daughter&qid=1569021762&s=gateway&sr=8-6

https://www.amazon.com/Mothers-Who-Cant-Love-Daughters/dp/006220436X/ref=pd_sbs_14_3/135-2861419-6173028?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=006220436X&pd_rd_r=2f646092-d474-4db0-a196-5ff21f95c08a&pd_rd_w=qAhbz&pd_rd_wg=fguag&pf_rd_p=d66372fe-68a6-48a3-90ec-41d7f64212be&pf_rd_r=CA0JTDDMD9K4CB14CT14&psc=1&refRID=CA0JTDDMD9K4CB14CT14

Articles:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201310/mothers-who-are-jealous-their-daughters

https://greatist.com/live/mother-daughter-jealousy#5

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/knotted/2016/10/dealing-with-the-jealous-mother/

Podcast:

https://player.fm/series/the-narcissist-in-your-life-podcast/narcissistic-mothers-corrosive-jealousy-of-their-daughters