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Reddit mentions of Not "Just Friends"
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Reddit mentions: 1
We found 1 Reddit mentions of Not "Just Friends". Here are the top ones.
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Features:
Specs:
| Height | 5.5 Inches |
| Length | 6.5 Inches |
| Number of items | 1 |
| Release date | July 2015 |
| Weight | 0.21875 Pounds |
| Width | 0.625 Inches |
Hey there. So sorry you are hear. I will echo what another said and post this on survivinginfidelity.com. lots of good people there.
So I noticed a couple things reading your post. Firstly, it is NEVER something you did or didn't do that made them cheat. They cheat because they wanted to and it's a flaw with the cheater not you. I don't care how fucked up your marriage was, they didn't have to cheat. There are adult ways to deal with problems and they chose not to. Your marriage sounds like mine though. No big problems and this just came out of the blue.
You BOTH need to realize and understand this first point if you want to make it work. She needs to understand that she made terrible decisions and figure out what flaw/flaws in her character allowed her to act this way. If she doesn't figure this out and correct it, there is no stopping round 2. You need to hold her accountable with this piece unless you're fine with having rounds 2, 3, 4 etc.
She has a lot of proving to do, to you, that she truly cares and wants this to work. I understand how you feel and just want it all back. I think everyone wants it all back. You're only a month out and havent fully processed yet, but it's her job to show you true remorse and fix her shitty morals or boundaries or whatever. You dont have to leave her or anything in the meantime, but I wouldnt be trying to make it all right until she starts putting in some serious work.
Have either of you been to counseling? I found some IC good for me and she really NEEDS it to help her figure her shit out.
Focus on you and do what makes you happy. Dont worry about her. Shes a big girl who made big girl decisions and now needs to own them. Just do you.
These books were very helpful for both me and my WW. I would start with the first one (it's a quick read) and then hit the other two. She needs to read all this too. It will help her understand how you're feeling.
On mobile and can't find the good one! I'll post back later with them.
You're not alone in this, my friend. You did nothing wrong. You're going to experience a lot of emotions. Just take them one by one and post more if it helps. Stay strong!
Edit: I think youre doing the "pick me" dance a bit with the nice things you are doing for the women who destroyed your trust and heart. Remember this. You are the prize, not her. She should be doing those types of things for you.
Edit 2:
Here is the book you should read first: http://www.lindajmacdonald.com/HOW_TO_HELP_11-06-10_FINAL_pdf-.pdf
Then read either: "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass https://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/1501265660
And/Or
"Getting past the affair" by Donald K. Snyder https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Affair-Program-Together-ebook/dp/B00597P0VI/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1