Reddit mentions of Search For The Real Self: Unmasking The Personality Disorders Of Our Age

Since you're in NYC have you tried looking at getting psychodynamic psychotherapy at a psychoanalytic institute? There's Transference-focused psychotherapy at NewYork-Presbyterian Weil Cornell Hospital. I know NYP offers DBT as well, if you are to go that route.

Here is a comprehensive list of all the available therapies out there to treat BPD. Because you're in NYC, you have a wider-range of available specialized therapies, than just the more popularized DBT out there.

Edit: I also found this blog post with comments critiquing their experiences at St Lukes Roosevelt Hospital's Center for Intensive Treatment of Personality Disorders (CITPD).

Maybe you can get your father to read James F Masterson's Search For the Real Self first to ease the interpersonal burden of reconciling with the past and to rekindle and ameliorate things? It may help ease the burden as it's a simplified to-the-point introductory description of folks with not just BPD but in the perspective of personality disorders in general. Alternatively, you can parse it for a limited duration for free by borrowing it online through Open Library to see what you think of it as well - account registration is required.

Search For The Real Self: Unmasking The Personality Disorders Of Our Age by James F. Masterson, MD. The book is the most sensible and coherent explanation on why a person develops a BP.

http://www.amazon.com/Search-For-The-Real-Self/dp/B001PO681A

https://openlibrary.org/works/OL3901606W/Search_For_The_Real_Self

I have Inner Work and Search for the Real Self from my psychotherapy class. Would you be interested in those?