Reddit mentions of Stumbling Naked in the Dark: Overcoming Mistakes Men Make WIth Women

Counseling with a professional and doing side work on your own while you are in counseling.

It will take time and it will be hard, but it will produce results.

Psychologists have all different kinds of education, degrees, professional experience, and specialties. They also vary in natural talent and how their personality interacts with yours can make a big difference on how effective they are for you. You need to give any given professional several months for a fair trial, but if one doesn't work for you don't give up, just try another. It would be wrong to conclude that counseling doesn't work because you were paired up with someone who wasn't right for you.

As far as things you can do on your own to supplement the work you do with a counselor, you can try these things

1. Get into good shape
   
   
2. Take a martial arts class. The combination of learning a skill, interacting with other people, and sparring will give you a huge confidence boost.
   
   
3. Read "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. It is a self help book for cognitive therapy, which has been tested to be more effective than many drugs for various mental health things. It is based on the idea that your emotions & behavior are the result of what you think. Change what you think to be more rational and realistic, and you difficult emotions become less difficult. It is to emotional health what toothpaste and floss are to your dental health. It is your daily self care.
   
   
4. Get a copy of "Intimate Connections" by Dr. David Burns, same author. Cognitive therapy applied to dating.
   
   
5. Get a copy of "No More Mr Nice" by Dr. Robert A. Glover. It deals directly with men who have too much of a need for validation from women and how to overcome it.
   
   
6. Get a copy of Stumbling Around Naked In The Dark. A guide for how to handle yourself with women that is for grownup men that isn't based on stupid tricks.
   
   
7. Learn to meditate and do it everyday as a relaxation exercise. It will make you more relaxed overall and confident ( takes a long time ) which will help when it comes time to try something different.
   
   I think you have reason to be optimistic.
   
   Part of success is knowing which paths lead nowhere.
   
   Your judgment is already good enough to avoid groups that are based on complaining about others or retreating from life.
   
   Good luck!
   
   I wish you the best!