"When a man prides himself on being able to understand and interpret a difficult book, say to yourself: If the book had been well written this man would have nothing on which to pride himself." Epictetus - Encheiridon #49.

No person is superior

Those people are not "superior people", they just have some qualities that, for you, seem to be "better" than the ones you possess. You know the advice for people with stage fright, the one about imagining others naked? It's not only about "funny image", when we are naked it's hard to think someone is better. Sure, one person is ripped, other is fat, other is regular Joe, but at some point we're just a bag of meat and bones. It's character what makes people and gives them value.

Now imagine those people you find intimidating "intellectualy naked". Not dumb, not childish, but blank. You know nothing about them and they probably know nothing about you. Use this both ways: to know others and know yourself.

Know yourself

First, know yourself. Define your values, what do you believe and why. We often feel hollow inside in some way - financially, spiritually, social or other. When we have this hole inside, and it seems like this other person don't, we compare our "hole" with their "whole". But it's not that they are better, it's just that they know what they can and want to represent. If you find this out it'll be easier to see the differences between you and other people as a things to discuss, not to compare. You're not better or worse - we're all just different.

Improve yourself

I'm talking about values like "respect" or "responsibility", but we often think about values in terms of "wealth", "education" and things like that. You can do this, sure, but forget about comparing yourself to others. They did they job, you have to do yours. You think you suck at something? Get better. You envy someone? Work on it and get it for yourself or forget about it forever. You can only be better than you. What if someone you find superior dies? Are you superior now? No, you're still you. Worse, what if someone you find inferior dies? What if you were second-to-last? You are now the worst, aren't you?

You have to use only yourself as your reference point and start your work from there. Your progress won't be linear, it'll look like a parabole drawn by someone with Parkinsons, but you'll be better everyday. You'll have ups and downs all the time, but you'll manage to get better everyday.

Get to know them

Now, when you finally know something about yourself it's easy work from there. You see, social skills starts from you, not some short advice on the web. You can know how to talk, walk and move to be "social", but the fact is, you don't always have to be the "social-est" person in the room. Some people are dicks, you can ignore them. Some people worked on something longer than you, learn from them. Others just started on something you're kind of knowledgeable about - ask if they need help.

Assume you know nothing about others. You won't find out unless you ask. If your questions are awesome, annoying or brilliant, they'll tell you. Find out for yourself. Be confident, but humble.

You'll believe in yourself only when you know what to believe in.


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Some links to help

• Define your core values: http://dawnbarclay.com/core-values
  
  
• Meditate with help from /r/Meditation. It'll help you to stay calm in potentially stressful situations.
  
  
• Read a book about charisma: Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane (no ref link). There are many "social skills" excercises, they really helped me and I belive they'll help you. :)
  
  
  Sorry it's not your typical two-sentences-long answer, I hope you'll find it helpful though. :)

Go to your local library/bookstore (Barnes and Noble, if there is on close by) and start reading:

Stop Self Sabotage

The Charisma Myth

The Panic Free Job Search

Make a list of what you know, and use that as the foundation to start building on. You already know more than most.

Use the ideas in the books I listed to start re-framing what you believe about yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others "more successful" and compare yourself to the person you were this time last week/month/year.

That doesn't mean you should not emulate those you want to learn from, but as a way of personal growth, not from an envious mindset.

This worked for me. I am 52, out of school longer than you, and I recently started as a penetration tester with a fortune 500 company. You are only 31, you can do it too. Do NOT allow yourself to whine and complain. Get off your ass, be persistent, and it will happen.

A few tips that may work for you.

• Practice in front of a mirror repeatedly until you can deliver your speech smoothly.
  
• Use visualization before the meeting to practice mentally and enter a successful, positive, charismatic mindset. Visualize yourself doing the introduction or whatever, doing it well and getting positive responses from your audience.
  
• I'm finding this book extremely helpful: The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism. In the first few chapters it deals with mindset techniques so you can radiate confidence and charisma from the inside out.

The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane is a great book that deals with increasing your charisma and dealing with stress, setbacks, etc.

One of her points on calming nerves that works great for me is to mentally step back from everything and realize that what you're feeling is natural and is shared by nearly everyone at some point in their lives. Then, realize that these feelings are just chemicals flowing through your brain and nothing more. There is nothing to fear about a date. You are just talking to a girl and learning about her and her learning about you. And if it doesn't work out, or you two aren't compatible, who cares? There are loads of other people out there. Some will work with you, some won't.

You'll be fine.

Fantastic book describes what research has shown about developing charisma.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1591844568/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1343420944&sr=8-1

The Charisma Myth

Also there is podcast out there called Art of Charm that focuses exactly on this. I also recommend this book called Myth of Charisma by Olivia Fox Cabane outlining exercises on becoming charismatic and dispelling the widely held belief that charisma is an innate quality.

Links:
http://theartofcharmpodcast.com/
http://www.amazon.com/The-Charisma-Myth-Personal-Magnetism/dp/1591844568

The Charisma Myth. I was recommended this last summer, and it absolutely shattered all my pre-existing notions of what it means to be confident, but most importantly, how to be comfortable with yourself.

I had it wrong the whole time. I was trying too hard to impress others; to make myself better to please everyone else around me. This book taught me that to attract others, I must first attract myself.

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1591844568?pc_redir=1410152966&robot_redir=1