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Reddit mentions of The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists
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Reddit mentions: 2
We found 2 Reddit mentions of The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists. Here are the top ones.
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Height | 8.5 Inches |
Length | 5.5 Inches |
Number of items | 1 |
Release date | October 2008 |
Weight | 0.59965735264 Pounds |
Width | 0.62 Inches |
Are we the same person?! Thank you SO SO MUCH for sharing this! Words can't even express how much I relate to and appreciate this post.
A few things I've been loving during this (alarmingly similar) crucial, formative time:
Whew! That's it for now, but I shall return. Again, thank you so much for opening up this topic. :)
I’m coming into awareness of this N-parent thing later in life too. Tell them it doesn't work. Give the the number of days they can stay, if any. Be honest with what works for you and tell them and tell them they have to get a hotel if they desire to stay longer. And hold your ground. You owe them no explanation! This is the hard part to get -- but get it please. It will make your life easier.
The thing about N's is they want an explanation of why. Why--what ever it is because they want to minimize our thoughts, feelings, or correct our actions and tell us what they want it to be — because we must be in alignment with them, we are after all an extension of them. When my Nmom starts pumping me like this. I give her very little eye contact and don’t play the game she is baiting me with.
And the little 3 year old look is called the martyr, it is a classic N manipulation stance. Don’t fall for it.
What you can manage is what you can manage. PERIOD.
N”s know our buttons and push them. They thrive on drama, chaos and control - being on top of a relationship. Grudges come when boundaries are not respected. It is your internal anger that is screaming NO! And boundaries are absolutely ignored growing up in a N-household. Coming to this at this point in your life it is understandable you would have some grudges. There is a life time of behavior and violation that hasn’t and will never be acknowledge by the N. So don’t look for it there it will never come. That was a hard one for me to come too. I spend years on inner work while the little girl in my still wanted to be acknowledge and accepted. That is an inside job.
I sometimes think the flip polarity to an N parent is a life time of learning boundaries. I’ve found my Nmom still doesn’t like them but guess what they are there and it’s her problem to deal with them.
And weddings are loaded as it is. Throw a N in there and it’s can be a little dynamo! We just had an out of state wedding where my Nmom traveled with us. It was the best of times and the worst of times.
If you haven’t gotten counseling yourself you might want to. Dont’ know if I answered all your questions. ask again if there is something specific.
There are a lot of great books out there. A few that I’ve read that have been helpful.
The first one I read is Karyl McBride’]’s “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” She has a website. http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com
The Object of my Affection is my Reflection
http://www.amazon.com/Object-My-Affection-Reflection-Narcissists/dp/075730768X
The Wizard of OZ
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0972072837/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_3?pf_rd_p=1944687462&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=075730768X&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1243YBT8DNBVQZCSYNKH
and another good link....http://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-chill