Reddit mentions of Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams

Ok, here's my assessment. It's not 'trying harder' that will get you the man you want, you've been doing your best, I'm sure. It sounds to me like you have done your best; what you could think to do so far. You've not gotten the results you want, and now are rationalising giving up. So be patient and try more and different ways to add value to yourself. I say that because a good prospective partner, generally speaking, will be snapped up eventually. You are in no way hopeless. There is plenty of reason to believe you can find someone if you adjust your approach to do more of what works.


It may sound a little harsh for the previous guy's post to say you're not trying hard enough. Maybe another way to put that is to say that there are things that you haven't tried yet, or simply that you need to expand your repertoire.


For example: your voice. That's a rationalization. Changing your voice is totally possible. A voice coach can help you more than you dream, if you do the work. There are good videos on youtube that you can use to learn a more pleasing voice if you don't want to pay a coach. I knew a woman who did this as part of a makeover and the effect was stunning. Couldn't believe my ears.


My acne responded really well to the the ketogenic diet: /r/keto



> both my father and sibling are antisocial, and have communicated to me that I am expected to look after them

That's what they want. Who says they must get what they want, and you DON'T get to have what you want? Where did that rule come from? That's a rationalization.



>I've been realizing that the idea of a woman willing to put her career aside and sacrificing a large part of her independence is not for me personally.


So your career means more to you than marriage/family of your own? I don't hear it in your statements. If you were really happy to be focused on your career to the exclusion of a relationship, you wouldn't have written this post - you'd be happily focusing on your career, not giving men a second thought. That's a rationalization.


Do you see how the next two comments contradict each other?


>sacrificing a large part of her independence is not for me ...


>a handicapped sibling and a disabled father to care for now. No one else will care for them, the obligation has fallen on me


Sacrificing yourself is not for you... that's why you are going to care for your father and brother instead of allowing someone else to care for them and having your own family? Wait, what? That's a rationalization.


>Just getting married and having children while serving in the military isn't an issue for me.


I don't understand. You mean, it's not an issue, because you could do it easily, but you don't want to? Or it's not an issue because you think it's impossible? That's possibly a rationalization, I need clarification.


>I began to date recently for the first time as a woman in her early 20s, and found nothing no men worthwhile in my accessible range.



Fixed that for you. Men are not 'things'. Could it be that you are objectifying men in revenge for them not choosing you? If there is no one in your accessible range, does that mean that you are not using a realistic relationship/sexual market value (RMV or SMV) for yourself ? If there is no one worthwhile for you, that may be a sign that you are setting your sights too high. Or that you are hoping that certain men will find you attractive, they don't, and so the ones who do find you attractive, you reject because you are angry at men for rejecting you, and it just feels good to think certain men are beneath you?


This totally sounds like hypergamy, or 'women marry up'. This is the dynamic that, in a woman with lower self understanding, leads to her getting herself knocked up by the Chad she fancies, then finding a chump to pay for the kid who, once his natural masculinity kicks in from having a woman, will eventually want to assert himself, but then he will realize he's been played for a fool when the woman is obviously not attracted to him. Another MGTOW is born. Or (speaking from personal experience not having an involved dad) in the worst case scenario, she's raising the kid with no father.







How many men have you tried dating? How many of the ones whom you turned down did you actually give a fair shake before writing them off? In John Molloy's Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others, a significant percentage of women in his research project who had written off various men for one reason or another went back through their phone books and gave the guy another chance, and wound up marrying him.


Some men can and will grow into the role of Captain - there are a lot of men out there who don't even know it's possible to be a Captain because of the way our culture devalues masculinity. That doesn't mean they can't ever do it. You'll feel pretty disappointed if you ever meet one you turned down who later grew into a stud because he had a woman believe in him. I have to wonder how many of the 'things' you turned down just need the love of a feminine woman to bring out their masculine nature?


>I love caring for others and finding ways to support them


Are you really as caring and supportive as you claim?


Try giving care and support to some of those 'things' at whom you turned up your nose and see what happens. Maybe you are only interested in caring for and supporting a man who gives you tingles? What if one of those men just needs someone to believe in him and support him, to turn him into a more sexy version of himself? If any woman here can learn about RPW and increase her SMV/RMV, and the same is true of men in /r/marriedredpill, wouldn't it stand to reason that any unattached man could similarly raise his SMV? Or would that ruin it if you had to help open some guy's mind to his better nature?