#41 in Health, fitness & dieting books
Reddit mentions of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Sentiment score: 20
Reddit mentions: 37
We found 37 Reddit mentions of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Here are the top ones.
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Specs:
Height | 8.21 Inches |
Length | 5.49 Inches |
Number of items | 2 |
Release date | April 1999 |
Weight | 0.7495716908 Pounds |
Width | 1.1 Inches |
Don't get too used to that! :) The first few weeks are a fake-out. They sleep all the time and then they flip it on you!
Seriously though - buy this book. Personal anecdote is that this was a life changer for our two kids.
Good luck and enjoy every second. My oldest is already three and I know that will turn around and tomorrow he will be 20.
This book is a must for anyone having kids. So many people read so much about how to raise their babies and kids, but never figure out how to train their kids to sleep properly. This book teaches you how... http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
You need a pack n' play.
You don't need a car baby mirror.
You need about twice the number of pacifiers you have already bought. Because they disappear.
You don't need the head insert for the car seat.
Your wife needs a boppy.
You don't need special "burp cloths." You know what works great? Dish towels.
You need a baby monitor.
You don't need special baby Q-tips.
You need diaper rash cream. Boudreaux's, whatever.
You don't need wipe warmers.
You need those fabric boxes. Like these. You will put a lot of stuff in them.
You don't need a ton of toys. Especially the make-your-kid-a-genius ones. You don't need those. Know what they will want to play with? The spatula. Your keys. You know, whatever you are holding.
You need this book. It is the best thing I have ever read...both kids sleep through the night like rocks because of this book.
At least, those are the lessons I think I learned.
Ideas:
Divorce doesn't seem like a wise option. Are you going to take care of the kids? Don't be silly!
For anyone else saving this for future reference I'd like to add Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to your reading list.
We did gentle CIO the first time and it worked great, but as Dr. Weissbluth points out in the book all kinds of stuff happens (vacations, colds, dropping a nap) where you kind of have to start again, although it's far easier each progressive time. I've reread sections of that book a dozen times and each time they make the process far smoother.
CIO is so hard, but truly my baby is happier and more alert when she gets good sleep. It IS for her benefit and it's probably far harder on me than it is on her.
This is such a hugely controversial topic that I hope you don't get the "How could you let your child cry??" responses. But for me personally, I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it helped me tremendously. It explains the science behind the whole concept of sleep training and my soon to be 4 year old daughter has been sleeping great since she was 6 months old. It started off rocky, like you're experiencing and I would literally turn off the monitor and go to the other side of the house so I wouldn't have to hear it. But eventually all the crying started to taper off. She never woke up angry with me. As soon as I saw her smile, I knew that there was no resentment. After a week or so, she'd cry for maybe 5-10 minutes before a nap. Usually at night she wouldn't cry at all. Quickly after that, she started sleeping through the night (once my Dr. said it was ok to drop the middle of the night feeding) because she had learned to put herself to sleep which allowed her to fall back asleep. Since then, we've had very few troubles with sleeping even when we travel or when her schedule gets thrown off. I fully credit sleep training for that. I wish you the very best!
I'm sure you're getting great advice. I just wanted to put forward a book suggestion that helped my family immensely. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.
Congrats! Here are my tips . . . (Cut and pasted from another post.)
These helped me make better decisions because they presented me with many options to try for trial and error, or good jumping off points for further research. I have honestly never had a "what do I do now?!" parenting moment because I have read so much that I have back up plans in my pocket if the first thing I try doesn't work. I have also never had any of the struggles with my son that a lot of people have around sleeping, eating, behavior, etc. and while I know some of that is because we have a healthy kid, I truly believe a lot of it comes from being an informed parent who explores all the options and tries the ones that have the most evidence for working well in combination with what feels right for me and my family.
I tried to just list the neutral/middle of the road books that are fun and/or give enough indepth information on most sides of an issue to be a great jumping off point for exploring particular parenting styles, options, etc.
In no particular order:
2 months is too young to 'sleep train', but they're never to young for you to train yourself how to help them sleep :). We read this book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425928308&sr=8-1&keywords=healthy+sleep+habits+happy+child
It starts from birth and talks all about how important sleep is, how to recognize tired cues, how to get your baby to sleep, etc. So its 'sleep training' but its not 'cry it out'. But really your 2 month old may not go more than 3-4 hrs during the night at this stage.
Babies under 4 months have no set sleep pattern at all. Waking every 2-3 hours at night is perfectly normal. Hell, my son didn't even sleep through the night completely until like 18 months, I think. My daughter started doing it at 1 month, but I think it is because she pretty much didn't nap all day long. Every kid is totally different.
I highly suggest picking up Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It's a really great book and goes into detail about the sleep habits of kids at various ages, as well as how to get them on a set sleep routine. It was invaluable for my wife and I. 4 months is a good time to start sleep training.
I'm going to sound like a broken record on this site when it comes to sleeping, but everyone whose ever told me about the sleeping problems of their child gets a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."
Here: http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
The problem you have sounds like one our friends were having when the child was seven. The book explains sleep, the importance of sleep, and the evolution of healthy sleep habits that has helped literally everyone I know who has read the book and followed through. Your situation was solved by my friend in seven days after five years of frustration. I personally think her victory came because she was given a very educated explanation of why it would work and she stuck with it. Process was a lot of it, but the real lesson is, stick to what you find working until it works. Don't give up. It may take two weeks, but then you are done forever.
For your particular sleep routine, I believe the book would recommend sitting in a chair right beside the child's bed until they fall asleep. No talking to them, just gentle putting them back in bed when they try to 'escape'; no real interaction other than a gentle 're-tucking-in' to mimic your initial tuck and establish the continuity for later when your child finally gets it.
My friend's child was seven and she sat by the bed 2.5 hours the first night reading (today we would have an ipad and reddit vs. a book, times change). Something quiet and out of sight (and interest) to the child. The next night, she did the same thing for about an hour and a half; less the third and fourth night but I remember her showing amazing resolve for four nights. On the fifth, sixth, and seventh nights respectively, she was staying in the room less and moving the chair closer to the door. Night Eight, she was outside the room with the door cracked for about twenty silent uneventful minutes and the child dozed off. Night nine, she got a good nights sleep and my wife and I got two comp'd airline tickets anywhere in the continental US. Woot!
I have recommended/given this book to perhaps thirty couples. Some get offended at the thought of getting a book to rear a child, but I really champion sleep habits as I've seen the impacts on the families who try the book; the relationships between parent and child and the interpersonal relationships between spouses. We've seen 'tough' children take a toll on everyone involved including grandparents who won't watch the kids and friends who avoid another's house around bedtime, dinner time, eating out, etc. The beauty of the book is the "quick tips" sections at the end of each chapter so you can start in minutes and 'catch up'. We were behind with my first child and literally by the book with our second. We spent a grand total of six nights on developing the sleep habits of two children that are still strong today at ages 8 and 9.
One thing that I hear a lot, and not trying to instigate in anyway, but it is an underlying theme of the book that I observe to be true in all families: "we've tried everything". Children are taught AND parents are taught. The child wants attention at bedtime and that is what you have to be disciplined enough to remove. No interaction. The friend I described above had the oldest child I've known these lessons to work on. He was seven, and I think she had the toughest challenge I've seen and showed the best discipline in 'ignoring' the child. When her child resisted initially, she would firmly and gently hold him in place until he stopped. The woman was a saint.
The "total meltdown" you describe is the payoff for the child. They don't infer victory, but there is an innate need that is fulfilled by that attention and if it never comes, it does subside. Remember that you've been taught how you are going to act at bedtime by your child for two and a half years and it may take a bit of reprogramming for both of you, but each time you stray from the continuity of the lesson, you are actually succeeding in teaching a different lesson. I really hope this helps. You need some rest!! (this will work for /u/underthewisteria as well, I believe) Good luck all!
"Healthy sleep habits, happy child" http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
we read this and followed it for our twins, now 22 months. I do not recall what they were doing at 5 months, but I think at 6 months is when they are ready for a solid schedule. The key is to stick with the schedule...for multiples you just have to let them cry it out when they start crying and they should be sleeping, because otherwise you would constantly be going in there and you will go insane.
Our kids have been good sleepers for a while, but it was a little rough at the beginning, especially with the boy. His nickname is the 'rooster' because he always seems to wake up at 5:30...when he gets older there is going to be some serious pay back.
This is our child sleep bible. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Our kids are 5, 4 and 2 and it is still useful.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
It's my bible. Friends with kids come over and say 'ohmygod that is the best book.' Basically trouble shooting baby sleep for a bunch of different scenarios.
My doc recommended this book as a manual for new parents. He didn't recommend any other books. It's a bit rambling, but it gets you through the rough patches.
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/product-reviews/0449004023
I know Weissbluth recommends earlier bedtimes to make sure they are getting enough sleep (it's easier to put them down earlier than to get them to sleep in, allegedly). It works for us (daughter is two and goes to bed at 7:30, and is up by 7:30) but every parent has to do what works best for their families. I also appreciate having adult time with my husband for a few hours a day, it helps us reconnect and unwind after a stressful day.
Start with this book on sleeping. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0449004023
Drop one feeding at a time, replacing the daytime ones with meals. I would call a lactation consultant at your local hospital, they can really help guide you through this part of the process as well.
Not that this helps - but my daughter used to drink 64oz+ of formula a day, about half at night until we switched to food when She cut down to 40ish ounces. The pediatrician always thought it should be less but we never got there. She's skinny for her age but we share meals and she usually eats a bigger breakfast, lunch and dinner than I do plus 3 or 4 healthy snacks (cheese, nuts, hummus, fruit, etc)
I give her a sippy full of water every night and she usually finishes it. I personally wouldn't be freaked about diabetes/whatever unless she's drinking that much water at night. Kids are different, and some eat way more than others.
I'd get rid of milk, cold turkey and just offer water. My daughter never accepted water in a bottle so we just put a non-leaky sippy in her crib with her at night. It seems to me like the milk is how she's soothing herself back to sleep and she's just going to have to learn to do that part on her own, minus the milk. It's tough and there's a lot of differing opinions, but I'm (now) a big believer in cry it out. I like this book and it's gotten us through everything so far.
As far as neighbors, I'd be really honest and really nice. Go down, tell them you are trying, the next 3-4 days will be rough. Maybe bring them cookies and ear plugs as well. We lived in an apartment when my daugher sleep trained and my neighbors were surprisingly nice about it when I gave them a head's up on what was happening and apologized both before and after.
Kids need consistency and love a schedule. You (not your son) need to set the time and stick with it. We did the let them cry method, but there are other methods as well if it's too hard to deal with.
re: the 5.30 wakings. if you can, let him cry until it's the time you want him to get up. he'll eventually get the picture that he isn't supposed to be up or at least be quieter. This can take a week or two which is hellish, but just keep an eye on the prize.
Lastly, for my wife and I the book Healthy sleep habits happy child has been huge. It has a lot of excellent advice on how/when to alter sleep patterns depending on what age/problem they are experiencing, and different methods to deal with them.
Get this book.
My first little guy is 5.5 months old, and he had been needing to be held to go to sleep. He was going to bed around 10, waking up two times per night and needed to be held to go back to sleep. Now, he goes to sleep at 8, wakes up once around 3 or 4 to eat and immediately goes back to sleep until about 7:30.
It also teaches you about the signs of when they are tired during the day so that you can put them down to take naps at the right times. Timing their sleep cycle can be hard work, but now that we are in a routine, my wife, my baby and I are all happier.
I cannot recommend this book enough. My wife has been doing it all, so I don't know how early the book recommends using some of these techniques, but do yourself a favor and get it. Don't suffer through sleepless nights like my wife and I did.
> the baby refuses to rest and is up four times every-single-effing-night.
It is a (somewhat) controversial topic, but you might seriously want to consider trying the "cry it out" method.
Long story short, you start by slowly weening your child off of soothing (picking them up, rocking them, etc) but eventually you will just monitor your child but not soothe them during the night.
We did the cry it out method with both of our children after some initial problems and now we all have a happy and wonderful sleep. Just about ever single night. And catching up on sleep makes a HUUUUGE difference to your overall well being and happiness.
Here is a conversation about the topic here in /r/parenting. The first two top comments talk about the cry it out method
Here is another one.
Some studies to back up the talk
If you are really looking for more of an expert opinion there are some books too. Book 1 and Book 2.
Some people will claim that it harms your child's brain, while others will say that that the fear mongering is just a bunch of nonsense. It's a baby. They cry. They get over it.
This book was a life saver for us with both kids. If you want a copy, let me know. I buy them by the dozen and give them out to people I know when they have first kids.
Babies don't eat pizza!!?? Oh yes they do! - I gave my baby girl some crust when she was teething and she loved it. But she REALLY likes food.
Here's my advice, in no particular order:
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
This book is awesome and talks about kids and sleep and how to help them from infancy to adulthood
Getting your kid to sleep is the ultimate opportunity to show some alpha. In my experience, moms are way more likely to cave when the kid starts crying/won't stop crying. This is when you hold strong. Hold Mom in your arms, "Baby is fine. She needs to learn to put herself to sleep. She can do it." Etc., etc.
This book changed our lives: http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023.
Our little girl sleeps so well now, takes regular naps, and overall is a much, much happier baby.
Only sleeping 2 hours at a time at night is not something I would consider normal. Maybe try implementing healthy sleep patterns first. That might take some time, but it should be worth it.
And re CIO: I'm pretty sure you're all going to downvote me into oblivion for this, but frankly, I don't care. For me there are only very few reasons why parents should use any sleep training method at all. I sympathize when you're a working mom with a busy schedule who is out of energy and can't deal, that's definitely a reason. Or, your child has a genuine sleep disorder. And no, waking two to three times a night isn't one, that's just you looking for an excuse. I find it astonishing how often US moms whine about how they want their sleep back at 6 months in. What the heck did you expect? I never hear that here in the UK, yeah, we're tired, we complain about being tired, but that's just the way it is. If you value your sleep so much, get yourself a dog you can train. You might see that I'm a bit pi**ed off here. You know why? I have twins, who are teething, one of whom has his third bronchiolitis since christmas, who has been hospitalised twice since February when we ALL had the flu. They are teething and cranky, and sick, and last night I was up at 12, 1, 2, 3, 4.30-5 and hubs had to get up at 6 because no. 2 had breathing issues again. I was at our local twins club meeting yesterday, do you know how many of the about 15 moms sleep train? None, because getting up at night and being tired is part of the package. Go ahead and CIO, but quit trying to justify your selfishness with "Oh if I'm well rested then my child will benefit." when your kid wakes up one or two times a night" and is a singleton. Bloody hell.
I have never been in your situation, so I don't know how you feel. My best piece of advice though is about sleep for your child. This book literally changed my life. Went from having a moody child that went to bed at 10 - or 11pm and woke up at 6am every day to three days later having a child that went to bed at 6pm and woke up at 8am. It was incredible the difference it made in mine and my spouses life.
I'm definitely not saying that it will work like that for you, but I think well rested kids are of paramount importance for sanity as a parent. I will also say that the first 3 nights of sleep training were terrible. You'll probably need to warn your mom of that. But after that it was like a light switch went off.
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
For your former partner (again, I've not been in your situation, so take this all with a grain of salt) you can either forget about him, or hold him to his responsibilities. A judge will force the payment be made to support his child. It will come directly out of his paycheck. The only way to get around this is for him to be paid under the table. He will bitch about this. 'Makes him look bad' 'How could you do this to me' are excuses that I've heard from people that have done this. Shouldn't be your problem, not your problem.
That's all I've got. Sorry it's not more. Things will get better.
Sleep problems are fucked, because you end up dealing with complex problems with little or no sleep yourself. My wife and I were in a similar situation (just with respect to sleep, or lack of baby sleeping), and found this book to be a FUCKING GODSEND. I don't know if we just needed something to "follow" or whatever, but we gave this book a good college go, and it worked out for us.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
get in good shape, take care of yourself.
Get rest
I wouldn't really be angling for a promotion right now
When the baby is born, and this may be a couple of months in. If possible, through bottle feeding or pump - and - serve, try to find a way to go 2 nights on 2 nights off when it comes to waking with the baby in the middle of the night.
This isn't possible for everyone, but my wife and I did it with both of our kids, and I think we were better for it.
Read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023 or at least the summaries.
Happiest baby on the block by Harvy Karp was helpful as well. "Treat first 3 months as 4th tri-mester" is the general idea.
Your getting 5 hour naps! be grateful!
I'm firmly in the camp of let-em-cry; especially if you've met the basic (food/diaper) needs.
This book worked well convincing me and my gf that we can let the kid cry (that actual part is a ways off for you yet): http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
It sounds as if you've tried a lot of things, but how long have you stuck to just one consistent routine? I understand that sleep training is very difficult to get through, but it's really important to stick to one method for at least a week or two before deciding that it absolutely doesn't work.
We used a modified CIO method for our daughter, The Sleepeasy Solution and it worked really well for us. Other friends of mine have raved about Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, which advocates an extinction CIO method, but that wasn't for us.
I know it can be really, really hard to listen to your child cry, but if you set strict check in times and stick to your routine for the long haul, I think that helps more than anything else. Our baby's sleep improved within a week or so once we stuck to a plan. She still has bad nights occasionally, but as long as we always go back to the same routine, she knows what to expect. Good luck!!!
I think a lot of it depends on temperament. She might not be suited to CIO w/ checks. A friend of mine recommended a book, "healthy sleep habits, healthy child" link:
https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0
We're on night 7 of Ferber and he went from 120 min (day 1) to 50, to 10, and diminishing from there, but I think the first night lasted so long because us going in to comfort him actually worked him up more
But Ferber has a chapter on "what if it's not working..." have you bought the book? That chapter might be really helpful for you
My recommendation to all new parents - http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
My ex-wife and I used this on our first child - by the 3rd night she was asleep in under 5 minutes. When my son was born, we started the process a bit earlier, same result. They are now 5 and 7, and to this day fall asleep in minutes, and I still feel what we learned from this book is the reason why. Setting a routine early on will benefit you and your child for years to come ;)
I'm a nanny and we just started doing a "modified cry-it out" method. We put her in her crib and if she cries, let her cry for 5 minutes. Go in, pick her up and do as little coddling as necessary to calm her down. Put her back in her crib. Wait 10 minutes and then we go in, and repeat adding 5 minutes to the time. If it lasts more than an hours worth of time, we get the baby up for a while (maybe even 15-30 minute) then try again. Though she is only 5.5 months, I suspect it would work the same with your 8 month old.
I believe this was in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Good luck!
Disclaimer: I'm actually an expectant parent so have no experience of my own here. I've been reading about baby sleep to try and prepare so hopefully what I say is helpful to you.
This sounds like a difficult transition for your family. As other posters have said 9 hours of sleep is not nearly enough for a child her age. Overtired babies are more fussy and actually have a harder time falling asleep as they get into a wired state. (There's a lot of detailed pretty scientific info in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which was recommended to me by someone who used it. There's also an audio book version though it's harder to navigate to the parts you want.)
Your baby doesn't necessarily need to be weaned to not have breast feeding as a going to sleep routine. She just needs to not be available to her when going to sleep. Eventually, she will have to learn to fall asleep without it. Which I imagine will suck and involve a lot of crying, but your wife isn't home early enough to get her to go to sleep on time or do her naps anymore so it's it's a viable option. Currently, if she stays up and fusses enough she does get the boob to bed. So staying up and fussing pays off in her getting the only comfort she currently knows how to use to go to sleep.
I'm not sure what you could use to replace it. Maybe start with a bottle of breast milk? Is that similar? (Some doctors worry about tooth decay at this age with milk right before bed-after burshing-but I think the sleep is probably a bigger issue? It's important to her neurological development.)
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023
Problem solved.