#138,424 in Books
Reddit mentions of Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life
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Reddit mentions: 6
We found 6 Reddit mentions of Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life. Here are the top ones.
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| Release date | February 2013 |
It's like bait so you'll say, "no no you're not really abusing me, I didn't mean it like that, just forget I said anything" etc.
Ugh.
Obligatory plug for the book that saved my life:
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/
Welcome to stage 1. May I suggest this fine book to help you understand things even more? https://www.amazon.ca/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama-ebook/dp/B00B60DRKI
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist.
This is the book that saved my sanity and got me on the right track. Its more about why I needed this relationship and how to break out of the cycle.
Non-mobile: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI?ie=UTF8&redirectFromSS=1&pc_redir=T1&noEncodingTag=1&fp=1
^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?
Married for 12 years, in the divorce process now. Wasn't with another woman for... almost 14 years I'd say?
Lack of intimacy, both in closeness and in sexuality. She would never ever initiate a hug or kiss except in the rarest of circumstances. I'd also go through phases where I would try and try despite the negative response, because depending on the moment she would blame me for the lack of intimacy. Other times she would acknowledge that it was her issue, uncomfortable with intimacy, how sorry she was that she wasn't a better wife, etc.
The short answer - it won't make any difference. She is not going to change in this way. What I can tell you is that it is not normal, and you can find a real physical and emotional connection with someone, where every touch isn't a minefield of rejection and disappointment.
It is up to you what you do with this information. But the truth is she will not fulfill that need in your life. I'm not saying you should get that from somewhere else, but your expectation of getting true affection and intimacy from your wife is a mirage. There is not any series of words or actions on your end that will give you back what you put in.
This book, Stop Caretaking the Borderline, was recommended to me recently, and I can't endorse it enough. As a man who didn't match up with the Codependent descriptions, Caretaker fit me like a glove.
I'd recommend picking up Stop Caretaking The Borderline or Narcissist because it talks about being a caretaker and building boundaries. Here's a video with the author: https://youtu.be/yoiOoDe6-_w
It's about trusting and valuing yourself, learning about red flags such as people trying to manipulate you with mirroring and love bombing. Trusting yourself if it's too good to be true or not questioning yourself if you're being lied to.
Contrary to MRA advice it's NOT about being an asshole. That attracts personality disorders. It's not even about being "nice" as the problems, kindness is good. It's about not being taken advantage without boundaries and learning to trust yourself.