Reddit mentions of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome

I'm 41 and only recently realized I may have it (still undiagnosed, but seeking.) I found The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood very helpful. Also anything by John Elder Robison. Relationship-wise, Journal of Best Practices by David Finch was good.

I have a weird kind of busy day to navigate through but for now, here are two book recommendations that you might find helpful.

"The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism" by Sean Barron and Temple Grandin.

[The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood.]
(http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0050IY61G/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb)

I know it might seem odd that I recommended Tony Attwood's book to you but there are a few chapters that you might find helpful.

I absolutely understand why you are nervous where all things female are concerned. I hope to spend some time writing up more things that you might find helpful and I'll PM those to you when I finish. I might not get done until Friday, but I will try my best to take the time and get that to you asap. :)

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome-ebook/dp/B0050IY61G/ref=pd_sim_351_2/135-5364280-4375439?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0050IY61G&pd_rd_r=642e3d4f-77f7-11e9-b98b-a55320510026&pd_rd_w=yuYkL&pd_rd_wg=ASG01&pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&pf_rd_r=DB05PAX76XCYWTFE4RJJ&psc=1&refRID=DB05PAX76XCYWTFE4RJJ

I was just diagnosed at 36. It has thrown me for a loop, but I have been doing a lot of (obsessive) research on Autism, including reading a good book called

The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome
https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome-ebook/dp/B0050IY61G/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=

Knowing that I have it now has actually helped explain why I act the way I do to my partner (and my family and myself) so all in all it has been a good thing.

I think because it was thrown at me with no real preparation, the change in how I view myself/my identity, has been the hardest part about the diagnoses. I think as time goes on, I will get used to it, and move on...

Wow, lots of similarities!! As far as getting an "official" diagnosis, that's sort of the point we were at...it would've been a lot of money for not a lot of benefit. Honestly, it's been a while since I've looked at the books we have so, I can't remember which were most helpful (sorry) but, here's the ones that we do have:
book #1
book #2
book #3
book #4

If I do recall correctly I believe Book #3 Aspergers In Love by Maxine Aston was most helpful...but, I can't promise.

Also, if you didn't see it already, check out the link for the 5 Love Languages, we found that to be really helpful.

Edit...did the link formatting wrong!

If I remember correctly those things come under Theory of Mind, right, specifically mind-blindness? Simon Baron-Cohen (researcher on ASD) has published quite a few papers and books discussing ToM and how it affects autistic people, so that might be a useful read. Also, a really great book (if a little laborious and overkill for an everyday person who just knows someone autistic) that I definitely recommend is The Complete Guid to Asperger's Syndrome, which explains a great deal of things about the autism spectrum and how autistic people work. It's a bit much though, unless OP is really dead-set on knowing as much as possible.

> Luke feels that Old Ben lied to him, Old Ben admits to lying but also admits to doing it for the right reasons

This brings up something I forgot to mention too - many autistic people tend to think "in black and white" (and while it's on my mind, can be very literal (which links in to sarcasm of course), so metaphors like "in black and white" may result in a puzzled look from him). Remember when you were little and your parents told you lying is bad, you should always be honest and never tell lies to people? And then a few months down the line your mum asks your dad "does this dress make me look fat? Be honest" and he says "no, it looks great" even when it doesn't? This can result in a confusing situation (for most people, but more so for autistic folk), since apparently you're not allowed to tell lies, but he just lied to her. It can be difficult to get that, yes, lying IS bad, but sometimes we tell small lies to people to make them feel better, or to comfort them - we lie for the right reasons. Autistic people often have a very strict sense of justice too, which kinda links into that.