Reddit mentions: The best aging parents books

There's probably some on Facebook but best thing I ever read, as a young carer for my mum, was this book: The Selfish Pigs Guide to Caring. It sounds super bad with the title but it's actually great at talking about how selfish it can feel to be "selfish" as a carer and take time for yourself. There might be some more recent books too.

Does fibromyalgia have a charity or an "official" association near you that does things like carer support? We have one for my mum's disease and they did carer retreats that were great. Even just a general chronic pain one?

Alternatively, if he can't find any support groups he's comfortable with, don't underestimate the benefit of good friends or a normal therapist. Make sure he takes some time to himself every week, whether it's a beer with his friends, going to play a sport, or even just going to Starbucks and chilling with a book and a coffee.

And if he's struggling with anxiety about the future, either counselling with a therapist that's just for him where he can feel free to vent or if there's disability service organisations around you, maybe going into them and getting some information about what the processes for claiming for services or support care are. I know here in Australia, if a person counts as "disabled" based on certain criteria, a social worker or a disability advocate can help them get things like a home cleaning or carer that can take some stress off of your husband.

This is very common with caregivers. We merge with the loved one's illness, become invisible to outsiders and occasionally get the "thoughts and prayers" line.

First, I do recommend a Caregiver Support group; a real one not an online thing. They are for family and friends. There you will find others in your situation and find out what resources are available. They usually meet once a month.

Second, you may have to "force" others to get involved. Sorry, not sorry. You may have to ask them to forgo "thoughts and prayers" and come over for a few hours and take over, shop or mow the lawn. You can't do it all. Also pass on keeping people "updated". This gets tiresome.

Third, I recommend reading Cruising Through Caregiving.

Read this book. I deal with this question pretty much every day and point people towards this book. There's sooooooo much you need to know as your parents get older and the books covers a lot of it. It also explains things like medicare/medicaid in an easy-to-understand format. I like how it also tells you to not be a hero. If your parents get too much for you to handle it helps you bring up the idea of them going into assisted living. I can't count how many situations I've seen where the kids think "I can handle this. Plus mom doesn't want to go to a "home"" and then one day you're at work and mom falls, or you screw up her meds, or some unforeseen event puts them in the hospital.

Anyhow, I recommend the book highly. It helped me out a lot.

This book is essential reading for understanding anarcho-capitalists.