(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best etiquette guides

The valedictions in question never truly fell out of use, but have become abbreviated instead.

Valedictions in English writing have traditionally been very formal affairs following the French model. You can still observe similarities between 18th c. Georgian English valedictions and their modern counterparts in French:

My Lord, Your lordship's most humble, most obedient servant, Sam. Johnson, "Letter to Lord Chesterfield," Samuel Johnson, 1755

Nous vous prions d'agréer, Monsieur, nos salutations distinguées, Modern French, Calliope Source

English has long had a tradition of abbreviations although valedictions, as a piece of formal writing, withstood most of them until the 19th century. These long valedictions were eventually whittled down to the common form we see today:

• "I remain, Sir, your faithful and obedient servant" / "Yours Faithfully"
  
  There remain a few, rare times when the full English valediction is still employed. Diplomatic correspondence tends to be very formal indeed and it was considered good manners to conclude letters to ambassadors and Governors-General in Commonwealth realms with the full valediction until the early 1980s. As of 2000, Debrett's still mentions the full valediction although it described it as somewhat "old-fashioned" even then, so it may be totally out of use today although I wouldn't be surprised if it was still used sparsely in official documents between the Foreign Office and accredited ambassadors to the United Kingdom.

It might be better in your case to bring a phrasebook that you can consult when needed. I've always found it handy to keep with me so I can pull it out and ask what I need to know. The other person can also point at phrases so you don't have to worry as much about not understanding the reply. Barron's Japanese At A Glance has been with me on all my trips and has been very helpful. Lots of necessary signs are in english as well, and this book goes over some others you may see.

Consider picking up The Art of Civilized Conversation. http://www.amazon.com/Art-Civilized-Conversation-Expressing-Yourself/dp/B002ECEVB6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1303156248&sr=8-1

It's full of tips on how to engage in conversations with strangers that go beyond cliches like "nice weather", among other things.

Linguistics dude here. I'm not going to waste time explaining descriptivism since OP specifically asked what clichés bug people, but I've seen a few that I can at least explain. It doesn't make them less annoying, but it may be interesting to know what's going on:

• "it is what it is,"/ "boys will be boys" - There's a great chapter in Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage about how tautologies are often a (semi-)polite way to basically say "nobody cares, shut up," and change the topic of conversation. Granted, this is a simplification, but the basic point is there's not much else the other person can say, and something like "well, it is what it is," allows them to be much more polite than saying "fuck you I don't care about your sob story." It's almost like sympathizing.
  
  
  
• "I literally died." - Languages change over time, and often words with slightly different "normal" meanings will be used for emphasis/exaggeration/hyperbole/what have you. Often times words will take on exact opposite meanings if you wait long enough (see: decimate). The fact that a secondary definition of "literally," is now "figuratively," is hilarious to me, in part because people get so worked up about it. Like, they literally go berserk.
  
  
  
• "I could care less," - People get worked up over this one precisely because if it were not a fossilized, fixed structure, it would make less sense than "I could not care less," however, it is now a set phrase. Wacky as that may be. And you totally understood them. I'm a committed descriptivist, and this one bugs me too, but I recognize that I'm wrong for trying to dictate usage, even if my suggestion actually makes a lot more sense. I've found this one is a lost cause anyway.
  
  
  
• "Give 110%" - I have no explanation for this other than bad math education.

Sounds like quite a challenge. I don't have much advice or experience in multi-lingual environments (maybe /u/Rocknocker will chime in) but here are some resources my google-fu recovered:

• Geotechnical Engineering Handbook Could be helpful to establish common practices and terms by sharing or loaning out.
  
• Illustrated Dictionary of Geology with English-Arabic Glossary
  
• Elsevier's Oil and Gas Field Dictionary This is kinda expensive but covers 6 languages including English, Italian and Arabic.
  
• English to Turkish Civil Engineering Dictionary
  
• Arabic Dictionary of Civil Engineering: English- Arabic, Arabic-English
  
• Italian to English Environmental Engineering Dictionary There is also Farsi and Arabic versions of this book
  
• Kurdish Dictionary and Phrasebook
  
  I also found a pdf download of an Arabic Dictionary of Scientific and Engineering Terms(Al-Muntaqa) but I didn't download it and have no idea of the quality.

Hey there - fellow March 2020 CYD invitee here!

My Armenian friend highly recommended this particular Eastern Armenian phrasebook. I purchased it last week:

https://www.amazon.com/Armenian-English-English-Eastern-Armenian-Dictionary-Phrasebook/dp/078181006X

Two things: For history and high culture, you want "Natasha's Dance" http://www.amazon.com/Natashas-Dance-Cultural-History-Russia/dp/0312421958/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420918749&sr=1-1&keywords=Natasha%27s+dance


For a detailed look at basically every aspect of Russian everyday life and worldview (everything from historic army uniforms to the culture of medicine to folk tales and superstitions), "The Russian's World" is where it's at. http://www.amazon.com/The-Russians-World-Language-Edition/dp/0893573809 The 2nd or 3rd edition will be much cheaper, but the information I got from my older edition (published 2000) about basic daily life was pretty outdated when I was in Russia (2012).

Frankly if I were you I would spring for one of those pocket-sized Berlitz books of useful phrases, like this one

https://www.amazon.com/Berlitz-German-Phrase-Dictionary-Books/dp/2831508835

I think they even have an app that does the same thing.

Can you get a rush order on this to give to her? https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553052233/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_qtZ8AbJ8D3MTF

"Oh MIL, DH was mentioning you were having a hard time choosing gifts lately so I thought this might help"

MIL: Oh I'd rather have your list.

OP: My list? ... Oh... The list of what I got from everyone at my wedding? (With a quizzical raised brow and side eye) I threw that out long ago. I used it for sending thank you cards and that's it. You could always call or message people to ask them what they'd given us.

Act completely oblivious as to why she'd need your list so your responses don't feed her entitlement. Have absolutely zero clue why she'd need your weeding list. That way she'd be forced to explain how brash she's being in wanting to match gifts tit for tat and if she's bold enough to do so, again push the book on her because it will solve all her problems. Hopefully she's not rude enough to elaborate and she'll just cbf and shut up about it.

Here is a book you might find useful

https://www.amazon.com/Passport-Pub-Kate-Fox/dp/1899344098

Same author as Watching The English

You'll be a bodyguard for your customers? How interesting.

I used this book: http://www.amazon.com/Japanese-All-Occasions-Mastering-Honorific/dp/4770031513 alongside wikipedias entry for 敬語.

No hay un culture smart! de Brasil? El de Chile lo encontré bueno (es una serie de guias sobre la cultura de cada país para turistas y emigrantes).

https://www.amazon.com/Brazil-Culture-Smart-Essential-Customs/dp/1857336895

The latest version of this book was written by Nancy Tuckerman, who served on First Lady Kennedy's staff.


Good manners don't cost you anything and will get you a long way in life. I see lots of bad behavior from folks who dress the part well.

If you ever need a reference guide on how to handle different situations in society, this is a good one.

thats basically marriage Really? That long?
all i really have is books on my wishlist

this book is 11 not really 10 but i will put it here just incase i win

Brazil - Culture Smart!: the essential guide to customs & culture

http://www.amazon.com/The-Etiquette-Book-Complete-Manners/dp/1402776020

I've seen a frequency dictionary for Czech language. It breaks down the most used words in several categories, including verbs.

> If only someone had published a book, "Japanese for Nefarious Lechers" (note to self - money-making opportunity...)

Already been done. There are several, but the most famous one is Making out in Japanese

Maybe try this-

https://www.amazon.com/Language-English-Chinese-Speakers-Essential/dp/0307972445/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1469574406&sr=8-2&keywords=English+for+Chinese+speakers

In fact, the link i posted is unavailable in the UK and i can't wait 3-4 weeks for delivery, what do you think about this one? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Language-Japanese-Essential-Edition/dp/0307478645/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1380635115&sr=8-5&keywords=living+language+japanese

Only the nicest guys blame the murder victim. That's how you can tell they're old timey gentlemen! It's straight out of Debrett's:


"If a young lady has been murdered by Chad, call her out for the dumb slut she is. Make sure you do it where everyone will see. Manners maketh man, after all!"