Reddit mentions: The best etiquette books

Just dress appropriately. It blows me away how poorly so many other guys dress, and when in doubt, take the the dressier option.

There's a pretty wide spectrum for what's acceptable depending on your field of work. I worked in finance for a bit, where no one wears anything beside white shirts and dark suits. (except during summer in the southeast. damn heat.) If you do something where "business casual" is accepted, then I'd say never wear jeans, always press your shirt, and go for the open collar and a sport coat.

I have my pairs of jeans that I wear strictly when it's the weekend and I'm doing yard work, building projects, etc. Otherwise, it's work khaki's like these from Patagonia that are perfect. (Plug: most comfortable pair of pants I've ever owned. Anything. Ever.)

If you leave the house for anything other than to go to a casual friend's house to hang out, the shirt should have a collar. Acceptable alternatives are the dressier more conservative t-shirts offered by most major brands that have their logo on them, like this Polo one. (more colors are offered during the spring.)

It can get expensive if you just buy everything off the internet as soon as you find something you like. Find outlet stores and take advantage of their pricing. There's no way I own more than two or three shirts (collared, polo, or tee's) that I've paid full price on. Hell, ask for them as gifts from your parents/significant other/whoever.

Something small is a belt. You'd be surprised how much of a difference it'll make by just wearing a belt every day.

Overall, I look at the situation simply: attractive girls like attractive guys who dress nicely. My choice becomes obvious. Now it's just a matter of habit, and I enjoy it. I'd recommend this John Bridges book to every other guy I know; it'll answer any question you might have.

To be fair, 1997 (when i was born) is still the 90's, I don't think its the year that matters when dealing with the fact that earlier 90's kids stick together as much as it is my generation (1996-1999) is full of little egotistical pricks, so we are alot less groupy, i have a better time hanging out with my older brother's friends than I do my peers... I hate being associated with people like 12 year olds who call strangers fags and cock suckers over call of duty and only listen to rap and sell drugs and have sex in 7th grade so their friends think their cool. And I'm 'automatically' obsessed with trends like "YOLO", Beats by Dre, SWAAGG, self-pics (mirror pictures, for facebook), sexting, and all the other bullshit that makes adults cringe at the mention of my generation. It saddens me that I was born in the same generation of the likes of people like Rebecca Black, and not, say, anyone with some FUCKING TALENT, I have to deal with bullshit like being assumed to like Twilight and Teen Wolf and The Hunger Games, when I would much rather read Fahrenheit 451, The Lord of The Rings, or [Choosing Civility] (http://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Civility-Twenty-five-Considerate-Conduct/dp/1452635110) (Non-fiction by P.M. Forni, if you haven't read it, I really suggest giving it a look.) So I think the "90's kids have a good reason for being the way they are, and I wish every day I was one of them.

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TL;DR: 90's Kids have good reason to brag about how great they are, and my generation kinda sucks.

The valedictions in question never truly fell out of use, but have become abbreviated instead.

Valedictions in English writing have traditionally been very formal affairs following the French model. You can still observe similarities between 18th c. Georgian English valedictions and their modern counterparts in French:

My Lord, Your lordship's most humble, most obedient servant, Sam. Johnson, "Letter to Lord Chesterfield," Samuel Johnson, 1755

Nous vous prions d'agréer, Monsieur, nos salutations distinguées, Modern French, Calliope Source

English has long had a tradition of abbreviations although valedictions, as a piece of formal writing, withstood most of them until the 19th century. These long valedictions were eventually whittled down to the common form we see today:

• "I remain, Sir, your faithful and obedient servant" / "Yours Faithfully"
  
  There remain a few, rare times when the full English valediction is still employed. Diplomatic correspondence tends to be very formal indeed and it was considered good manners to conclude letters to ambassadors and Governors-General in Commonwealth realms with the full valediction until the early 1980s. As of 2000, Debrett's still mentions the full valediction although it described it as somewhat "old-fashioned" even then, so it may be totally out of use today although I wouldn't be surprised if it was still used sparsely in official documents between the Foreign Office and accredited ambassadors to the United Kingdom.

Dear Yarcofin,

Whilst I admire your desire to demonstrate yourself as a gentleman, despite the fact that no plebeians, such as yourself, shall ever be true gentlemen--as plebeian blood is many shades from blue--I shall endeavor to guide thee nearest, by way of the written word, to the state of the cavalier.

I shall hope you will find much erudition, form, and poise betwixt pages and pages of the following ledgers:

How to Be a Gentleman

The Affected Provincial's Companion

How to Be a Man

Gentleman: A Timeless Guide to Fashion

Dressing the Man

The Art of Manliness

Regards,

Curtains

At the very least, I would instruct him to read the following book. How to Live Like a Gentleman: Lessons in Life, Manners, and Style.

There is a decreasing appreciation for chivalrous and gentlemanly behavior in American culture, so appreciating the finer points of etiquette, dress, hygiene, and speech can easily distinguish a good man from a better man.

I do believe I could recommend some pages bound within novel form that could assist with your dilemma. I have thusly, as they say, "linked it" here betwixt the letters.

As an aside, I would like to put forth one of the most important tenets that a nobleman should never, under any circumstances, take drink directly from any container within the icebox that normally contains the juice from a cow's udder. Instead it should be consumed by pouring into a proper beverage receptacle and enjoyed as such.

My mom got me this book when I was a kid
It may not have all the answers to everything but it has some good advice.

Also it help to have a penis. Just sayin

Consider picking up The Art of Civilized Conversation. http://www.amazon.com/Art-Civilized-Conversation-Expressing-Yourself/dp/B002ECEVB6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1303156248&sr=8-1

It's full of tips on how to engage in conversations with strangers that go beyond cliches like "nice weather", among other things.

Can you get a rush order on this to give to her? https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553052233/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_qtZ8AbJ8D3MTF

"Oh MIL, DH was mentioning you were having a hard time choosing gifts lately so I thought this might help"

MIL: Oh I'd rather have your list.

OP: My list? ... Oh... The list of what I got from everyone at my wedding? (With a quizzical raised brow and side eye) I threw that out long ago. I used it for sending thank you cards and that's it. You could always call or message people to ask them what they'd given us.

Act completely oblivious as to why she'd need your list so your responses don't feed her entitlement. Have absolutely zero clue why she'd need your weeding list. That way she'd be forced to explain how brash she's being in wanting to match gifts tit for tat and if she's bold enough to do so, again push the book on her because it will solve all her problems. Hopefully she's not rude enough to elaborate and she'll just cbf and shut up about it.

Here is a book you might find useful

https://www.amazon.com/Passport-Pub-Kate-Fox/dp/1899344098

Same author as Watching The English

This is also easily googleable

No hay un culture smart! de Brasil? El de Chile lo encontré bueno (es una serie de guias sobre la cultura de cada país para turistas y emigrantes).

https://www.amazon.com/Brazil-Culture-Smart-Essential-Customs/dp/1857336895

The latest version of this book was written by Nancy Tuckerman, who served on First Lady Kennedy's staff.


Good manners don't cost you anything and will get you a long way in life. I see lots of bad behavior from folks who dress the part well.

If you ever need a reference guide on how to handle different situations in society, this is a good one.

Don't have your phone at the dinner table. It's simple. It's in the How to be a Gentleman book.

Brazil - Culture Smart!: the essential guide to customs & culture

How To Be A Gentleman

http://www.amazon.com/The-Etiquette-Book-Complete-Manners/dp/1402776020

> If only someone had published a book, "Japanese for Nefarious Lechers" (note to self - money-making opportunity...)

Already been done. There are several, but the most famous one is Making out in Japanese

No mate, both your girlfriend and her friend are absolutely wrong on this. It's the bride's fault that she did not specify 'plus guest' in her invitations. It would also have been rude for your girlfriend to ask if you were invited. If the missus gives you any more grief just buy her a copy of Debrett's and place a bookmark on the relevant page. They're quite clear on this.


>EXTRA WEDDING GUESTS

>If the invitation has arrived and it does not specify 'and guest', it is the height of rudeness to ask to bring one or assume that a partner is invited.
Source

Don't answer the question. You don't owe them an answer just because they ask it. If you answer it, you're training those rude people that it's OK for them to ask you rude questions.

Right now, you're dreading part of what you'd like to be a good family time. If you refuse to be done in by their rudeness, then you need not dread any more in the future.

Getting a girlfriend isn't going to solve the problem, because then they'll ask when you're getting married, and then after that they'll ask when you're going to have a baby and then after that they'll ask when you're going to have another one, because these people don't understand that what they're asking is none of their damn business.

Some people suggest cutesy non-answers like your "I guess I haven't met the right gal yet" or even "I haven't found anyone as nice as you, Aunt Marge", but I don't think that's best. Those invite further discussion of the topic. If you don't want to talk about it, then shut it down unambiguously.

Here are some suggestions:

• "I'm sorry, but that's not something that seems appropriate at Thanksgiving."
  
• "I don't think that's something that you and I would discuss."
  
• "I'm sorry, but that's personal."
  
  You can let those responses lie there and let the silence do the talking, or you can deflect to another topic as you have in the past.
  
  Again, you don't owe these people an answer. If they respond with arguments, then repeat your answer.
  
  "So why aren't you with a girl?" "I'm sorry, but that's personal." "Aw come on, we're all family here, do you have your eye on someone?" "I'm sorry, but that's personal." "It's no big deal, I'm just wondering, did you have a bad breakup or something?" "I'm sorry, but that's personal."
  
  Repeat it until they get it. It might be awkward for a minute, but the long-term dividends are fantastic.
  
  For more about this sort of dealing with rude nosey people, I highly recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Miss-Manners-Basic-Training-Right/dp/0609600516

Only the nicest guys blame the murder victim. That's how you can tell they're old timey gentlemen! It's straight out of Debrett's:


"If a young lady has been murdered by Chad, call her out for the dumb slut she is. Make sure you do it where everyone will see. Manners maketh man, after all!"