Reddit mentions of Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

You have 0 relationship with the online person. It is a fantasy you've built up in your head. Google "the affair fog" and study up on it. Your head is firmly stuck in the fog right now.

You and your wife have some issues you need to resolve. It's time for you to focus on that.

Nothing good can happen to your marriage while you are dwelling on this false fantasy person. It is time to fully acknowledge this mistake, cut off all contact with her and focus on you and your marriage.

The grass is not greener on the other side. The grass is always greenest where you're watering it on a regular basis.

It's impossible to water grass over the internet. You're fooling yourself if you think you have been.

As for what is the next step for you and your wife, I highly recommend finding a good marriage counselor. Emphasis on "good." They can be hard to find. If you get the usual drivel of "talk to each other, schedule a date night, listen to her feelings" in the first meeting, walk away and find another one.

I also recommend picking up a copy of Love and Respect and reading it. Even if you are not a Christian and have no desire to explore that, the fundamental issues the book discusses can have a profound impact on the way you and your wife view your relationship.

Non-mobile: Love & Respect

^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?

I think that's basically the main idea behind the Love & Respect marriage book/conference.

Wow, thank you for being brave enough to share something of such depth and being vulnerable to us as an audience. I have no idea what how or what a woman deals with sexual urges. I grew up in a strict home with a bro and 3 sisters. My parents, especially my mother, really never talked about sexuality, except that sex was for marriage as it was God's plan. I cannot stand (pardon my crudeness) the societal assumption that I as a man am merely a walking talking hormone driven mammal with my penis in the captain's Chair and my brain serving drinks in first class. I recently read a book called love and respect :http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs-ebook/dp/B004MYFQ3Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416530197&sr=8-1&keywords=love+and+respect I highly recommend it. I didn't read the women's section and when my fiancee asked why I told her that i didn't want to read it and then start comparing her to "what a woman should do". Well I did read the sexual chapter in that section. I didn't care much for the idea of a wife being there to minister to her husband's sexual "needs". Needs are food, shelter, security. hormones in contrast rise and fall like the waves in an ocean. I recommend http://www.amazon.com/Theology-Body-Beginners-Introduction-Revolution-ebook/dp/B004EPZ11K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416530408&sr=8-1&keywords=theology+of+the+body+for+beginners Theology of the Body for beginners. I like JP2's vision of married love. That sex isn't like scheduled car maintenance. sex is fruitful, faithful total, and free. This is why I hate porn. I have worked long and hard to remove it out of my life and i am almost there by the Grace only of God. I want when I marry next year not to be serviced by the wife, but to and with her renew our wedding vows. I have so much respect for you femostrants and the challenges you face. You are so right when you say purity isn't a gender exclusive club. The church, protestant and catholic alike are going to have to open their eyes to this. Its destroying lives and marriages. I am at the point now in my journey where i also talk open about it. Sometimes to women, the first time i did it i was shocked at not being rejected as a perv. I thought about it and realized. WOMEN WANT MEN TO BE STRONG, BRAVE LOYAL, HONORABLE and SELF SACRIFICING! I will up it a little...women NEED their men to be that way. Gaining control over my mind heart and body by getting rid of PMO is making me into that kind of man little by little. I have a ways to go but when I get there all the way I won't be alive anymore to need it lol. Again thanks for all you do, for being brave, honest, and public

Congrats on the rise but my heart is just aching reading about the conversation with your husband!

Have you ever discussed his over-reaction to what happens in a video-game in the context of children? It just seems really unhealthy to me and not an example I'd want to set for my kids. Anyway, I just wanted to offer some love and support. Marriage is hard and we all can have bad days that don't really mean anything in the broader context so I hope you're feeling a bit better today. TTC can make it even harder and add on extra stresses. We had an amazing counselor when we went through our pre-marital exercise and he recommended some good books (and we studied portions of them for our pre-martial counseling). Love and Respect was one of them...it has some heavy religious over-tones which aren't my thing, but he still offers some really helpful advice and words of wisdom. We also studied Love Talk in our session about escalation and de-escalation with arguments. It's also less preachy than the other book. I don't know....I hope this doesn't come across like I'm over-reacting or anything, but your husband's behavior just seems a little over-the-top just for a game and it's not fair that he's hurting your feelings over such a trivial thing.

https://www.academia.edu/37230862/Love_and_Respect_-_Emerson_Eggerichs.pdf (not sure how complete it is)


https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004MYFQ3Q/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=