Reddit mentions of Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration

Self care/pampering kit. Bath bombs, facial masks, polish, candles. Hand made card, they're the best.

Maybe a necklace of some sort. I went through a bad breakup years ago and my best friend bought me a little sterling silver necklace with a cute charm to replace the necklace he'd bought me (I wore his all the time). I started wearing the one she got me and it was a constant reminder that I was loved, seems silly I guess, but it worked.

A good book is always a must. Might I suggest Maya Angelou (And Still I Rise: A Book of Poems https://www.amazon.com/dp/0394502523/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_-jPCybXYQ9MMY).


When she's healed a little and is ready for reflection, I also suggest "Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self Exploration." (Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399174826/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_JmPCyb988RCV1).

I know how you feel. And I think as you get older you will find your passion and get better at coming up with great ideas. 26 is still very young.

Creativity isn’t just something people are born with, it’s something you practice at. Even coming up with good ideas comes with experience. Sure some people seem like they are naturally good at it, but those same people lack other qualities that you have. As an ESFJ I think our natural superpower is empathy, emotional IQ, whatever you wanna call it. It’s also our greatest weakness, which is where all the guilt and depression can come from.

For the longest time I felt unfulfilled and struggled to find my passion in life. I also would get really frustrated because I didn’t feel like I was creative or would be able to come up with a great business idea, which are things I always wanted to do. Even after having cofounded a successful company, I couldn’t give myself any credit, because it was my partner who came up with the idea.

Now that I’m 36 things have changed. I practiced being creative at things I felt frustrated with before, and it actually comes easier to me now. (For me specifically that’s writing songs.) With the business experience I have now, I’m also better at coming up with ideas. The reason for all that is because I’ve made a bunch of mistakes before. Without those mistakes I wouldn’t have that confidence or abilities.

I also realized what my passion is. And it was right under my nose the entire time. For me it was pretty simple - I like helping people, and dogs make me happy. So I foster rescue dogs, and also I mentor people who are recently released from prison. It’s the ESFJ in me I guess.

When I was really lost I got this journal / book called “Start where you are”. Honestly it didn’t give me all the answers I wanted immediately, but it helped me visualize where I wanted to focus my energy.

Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399174826/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_kBTnDbEV7SPBS

Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll get there at your own pace.

I agree with needing to seek help first. Step one is definitely to take her to a psychologist. Therapists and Psychologists are not the same thing - a psychologist does more than therapists can do and holds a degree in advanced psychology (therapists may not have one). You can do a quick Google search to see the difference between them, but I do highly recommend finding a Psychologist.

As far as book recommendations, I think it's probably not wise to give her just anything (especially books that may contain anything that reminds her of her trauma) until she figures out what is most comfortable to her. It's really best right now to let her make those choices.

What I can recommend are some books for anxiety or depression (she may be feeling both or just one or the other), or "feel-good" kinds of stuff:

• Start Where You Are: A Journal of Self-Exploration
  
• 1 Page at a Time (You can find other books similar to this and Start Where on Amazon in their "Customers Also Bought" section at the bottom of the page)
  
• Depressed & Anxious (This is a behavior therapy workbook and can be used alongside going to a psychologist, or can be directed by a psychologist at their behest. It does require that the person using it is self-motivated enough to do it.)
  
• Mind Over Mood, Second Edition: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think (This is another workbook and I really really like this one, but-like the previous workbook-it also requires self-motivation to do. Of the two this is the one I like more, personally.)
  
  There are other good books out there that have been recommended in other threads on this subreddit, but IMO these are not a bad place to start. If you really really want to get her something, you may want to stick to the first two suggestions and other books like them so she can have some feel-good "breathe easy" kinds of books until she feels she's at a point where she might want to try doing a workbook.
  
  I also found this doing a quick Google search and it looks like it has some good articles: http://www.pandys.org/recommendedreading.html
  
  

  But the first thing you should absolutely do is help her find a psychologist. Go to Google, type in your city name and Psychologists. Look up the people you find to make sure they are licensed psycholgists, not LCPC's or anything else. They need to have "PsyD" next to their name to be a licensed clinical psychologist. Start calling offices and see if anyone is accepting new patients.
  

  
  
  Edit: As an aside from book recommendations: Jigsaw puzzles and paint-by-numbers are other good no-brain-required activities that she may like to do. It keeps her focus on an activity so she isn't stewing her thoughts on anything else (negative or otherwise), and requires very little effort and energy (which may be in short supply for her right now). You can buy jigsaw puzzles for $10 or less from most stores, or go to places like Goodwill and other charity stores where they typically sell them for $.50-$2.00.

Sorry for the Amazon links, but these books are phenomenal. My goals for 2016 are 1) learn how to find my own happiness 2) get away from needing stuff and 3) read more. I got this set of books as a way of kick-starting my year of self exploration, and if I read your post correctly that's kinda what you're looking for, too.

• "Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self Exploration" by Meera Lee Patel
  
  
• "The 52 Lists Project: A Year of Weekly Journaling Inspiration" by Moorea Seal
  
  
• "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" by Marie Kondo

I can't make any recommendations about ADHD/ADD but I DO think you should go see a doctor, first and foremost. Aside from that, try to not be so hard on yourself! Us human's have A LOT to learn and many have a learning curve greater than others. That doesn't mean they're dumb or stupid, they just learn and process things differently so it takes a little longer to get the hang of it. It's also important for your mentors, peers and bosses to understand how to work with you to make sure you properly understand how to do a process. I'm not sure what your job is, but maybe you can ask if there's a written guideline somewhere? Or write yourself one to reference when you do it correctly, and make notes of where you frequently make mistakes. For example, I'm really so bad at math and anything with numbers and I just started a job where I have to count out large amounts of money and I literally get so tripped up and embarrassed I can't even think straight. It's been really hard for me, but I'm pushing through and practicing as much as possible.

I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to others and maybe even start journaling at night for self-reflection. I'll link the two I recently bought that I've been loving :)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307719774/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399174826/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

My kids no longer put out milk and cookies for santa! It's not because they don't believe, but more so because our cat is a punk. If you choose us, I think my oldest would benefit from something like this or my youngest something like this one He loves teen titans go and almost has them all. They each have their own individual wishlist. Thanks for the contest!