Reddit mentions of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook -- What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing

> The way my partner puts it, I was 'raised like a dog'.
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There's a book about this. The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog.

I own it. I have not yet read it. I'm afraid of what I'll find.

I'll start out by saying that hospital nurseries and NICUs in general are incredibly nurturing places, with the parents given full access to the child when it's medically appropriate. I have friends who have more or less lived at the NICU for several months because of a premature birth or a birth defect situation. No hospital would intentionally set up an environment like the one you're describing. Several month stays in the NICU are sadly fairly common.

There are cases where this has happened to an abusive extent, with the extreme being understaffed orphanages, particularly in places like Russia. Lack of social interaction and affection has profound impacts on a child's development. This really depressing book details many of these situations.

During the first three months, though, newborns are basically potted plants. They don't do much and they can't see very far. They have no idea how to limbs. It's all they can do to eat, sleep, and work on figuring out what the cacophony of sensory input means. They can recognize faces but they interact out of instinct. (And then at about 14 weeks they abruptly "wake up" and are pissed about it. The "newborn" to "proper baby" transition is actually really cool.)

The worst case scenario here for a newborn is failure to thrive, where the baby basically refuses to eat. Early affectionate contact, especially skin to skin contact, seems to reduce the odds of FTT considerably. It also keeps the child warmer and reduces general mortality.

They may or may not have later emotional or psychological issues. The first three months are critical for various reasons, but later periods are more important for psychological development.

The whole concept of "you'll spoil them" if you show them too much love and affection, and "that kids bounce back" or the idea that children are extremely resilient to trauma has really shifted from the early 80s to today. Now that we know so much more about the effects of trauma, stress, and affection on the developing brain, both of the concepts above have been largely dropped.

If you're a reader and as fascinated by child psychology as I am, I'd definitely recommend reading "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook--What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing" - absolutely heartbreaking in some cases, but so informative. Another really good complimentary book (by the same folks!) is "Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered."

Been loving the responses so far! My own preferences have been changing, and I've been reading a lot more non-fiction than I used to. It has really opened the doors to a lot of books I would not have considered reading before!

On my reading list:

The Unthinkable by Amanda Ripley - this is what I'm almost finished with now. It has been a really insightful read on how little prepared society is for disasters, and the steps we should take to help fix that.

The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker - I've seen this mentioned on reddit a few times and it's in the same vein as the book I'm currently reading.

Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce D. Perry

The Lean Startup by Eric Ries - I'm currently working in the startup industry, and have read similar books to this.

The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz - same as the book above. This is currently going around my office right now so I should be reading it soon!

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - this was recommended to me by a friend when he learned I was reading The Unthinkable and The Gift of Fear. Honestly really looking forward to reading this one!

On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society


Books I'd recommend:

Blink by Malcom Gladwell - all about the subconscious mind and the clues we pick up without realizing it. Pretty sure reading this book has helped me out in weird situations.

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashlee Vance - amazing read about how Elon Musk works and the person he is.

The Circle by Dave Eggers - just don't watch the movie :)

https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Raised-Psychiatrists-Notebook-What/dp/0465094457/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504048533&sr=8-1&keywords=the+boy+who+was+raised+as+a+dog

This book explains how the brain grows and how stress at different times during our childhood affects our development differently. I wrote a very short summary of the basic explanation a few days ago, I will put it below this comment. I found it really insightful and helpful, so maybe it helps you too. Also, just the way that guy seems to have endless patience with the children he helps, I learned to have a bit more patience with myself.

The way you write about your problems it sounds like you're generally afraid of social contact, not of specific settings? It's possible what you have is the so called "Avoidant Personality Disorder", not social anxiety. Same as me.

Either way, it is definitely possible to improve to a point where you can function socially, and stay there.

I spent my college time avoiding people as much as possible and basically stayed in my 1-room studio all the time. But it was pretty boring alone in that room, so I started reading and thinking. And the more I learned about myself, and about how the brain works, the easier it got to improve my situation, and to cope. Now I'm at a point where, while still not actively searching for it, I'm fairly comfortable with social contact and can step out into the world without my confidence breaking in shambles.

I don't know about 'cure', but it's definitely possible to cope, to gain control, and to improve, slowly, step by step.

Sometimes it also helps me to just get outside, away from technology and all that, and to just sit and breathe and remember how it feels to be alive. And with that, to remember why I keep struggling and refuse to ever give up. No matter how many times you have to fall down and embarrass yourself and feel like shit, you deserve to live life free and happy, and you should never stop fighting to get what you deserve.

(This is a general reply to everyone who might read this. If you found a way of living you are happy with OP, no need to change a thing. You are the only one who really knows what happiness and health means for you.)

Hi there, chemical dependency is my area of specialization. Glad to share the field of battle with you. I'm extremely biased in that much of my work with clients is trauma-focused and attachment-based. These are the readings I recommend:

https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1538166177&sr=8-3&keywords=gabor+mate

https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Raised-Psychiatrists-Notebook-What/dp/0465094457/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1538166073&sr=8-1&keywords=boy+that+was+raised+as+a+dog

Day-by-day might look different compared to settings. However, the places that I've worked consistently involved doing biopsychosocials, basic case management, referrals to appropriate levels of care, group counseling, and individual counseling.

I typically utilize psychoeducation, basic relapse prevention strategies, leveraging community support, and fundamentally just work on creating a container in the therapy space where they can feel comfortable to unpack emotions in a safe relationship.

https://store.samhsa.gov/ has plenty of free clinician and client handbooks too.

Treatment planner: https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Treatment-Planner-DSM-5-Updates/dp/1118414756/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1538166623&sr=8-2&keywords=addiction+planner

Here is an article that gives a general overview of trauma-informed care. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk and The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry are essential reading. They are relatively cheap and well-known.

I know very little about EMDR, so I can't really speak for its efficacy. As far as trauma-certifications go, I would urge caution. There are a lot of certification programs out there that promise access to a lot of knowledge and skills, and they offer a shiny little certificate with your name on it upon completion. However, in my experience the knowledge and skills they impart are nothing that you couldn't learn yourself with a combination of dedicated self-study and careful oversight by a competent supervisor. Also, these certifications sound impressive, but they aren't always recognized as anything special by the field at large. So they won't help you get a job, get a promotion, get a raise, or anything else but an impressive-looking piece of paper.

My recommendation is to be more assertive in your interest with your supervisor about learning trauma-informed theory and practice. If they cannot offer you the supervision you feel you need, ask them if there is someone in your organization that can. Identify resources that you can study that will help you find concrete ways to implement trauma-informed strategies into your work, and discuss this during supervision.