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Reddit mentions of The Definitive Book of Body Language: The Hidden Meaning Behind People's Gestures and Expressions
Sentiment score: 3
Reddit mentions: 7
We found 7 Reddit mentions of The Definitive Book of Body Language: The Hidden Meaning Behind People's Gestures and Expressions. Here are the top ones.
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| Release date | November 2008 |
according to this book on body language, it helps with romantic dinners - your pupils dilate so it makes you seem more aroused to your partner, and as a result both of you feel as if the overall experience was positive. Not too sure if this is true or not, but it's just a theory I've read.
The Definitive Book Of Body Language was very helpful to me.
Liars are actually less likely to smile according to studies, which I found interesting. There's a bunch of tips and facts in the book; when I get home I could post a few for you, if you want?
I'm guessing you have this down, but I'm posting it just in case, or in case any other readers find it of interest.
Handshaking (imho) is where many women can lose some ground. Make it strong and firm, maintain eye contact for the first few seconds. Don't let the other person "dominate" the handshake by turning your hand underneath theirs. This sounds like a silly point but it actually has proven mental (subconscious) effects.
For more, read This book and its tips on Body Language in the workplace.
I have always focused my learning on hard skills. I thought this was really all that mattered. Good ideas can speak for themselves, right???
Only recently I realized how important soft skills are in life. Like you, I am also researching communication skills, confidence, persuasion/influence, body language, etc.
Here are some materials I have come across. Hope they are helpful in your journey.
This book was very insightful on building rapport: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-All-About-Techniques-ebook/dp/B0060YIBLK
It was written by a guy in the FBI who's job it was to build relationships with all kinds of people. He outlines 10 steps you can use to build trust with strangers. Topics include using open body language, commenting on surroundings and/or personal accessories, asking open questions about them, etc. Many things covered might seem like "common sense", but if you are not consciously using them is it really "common sense"?
And another book that was helpful about body language: http://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language-ebook/dp/B000SEH9QG/
This was fascinating and discussed all types of body language, what they mean, and theories on why we do it. There is a section on mating/courting body language, which was also quite eye opening. Again, you will not realize the potential until you bring this stuff into your conscious mind. Many of the things we do while communicating we do subconsciously. It is extremely interesting and sometimes quite funny seeing how people communicate with their body.
One other interesting point on this subject is that your mental state affects your body language, which then affects your mental state, etc. If you have unconfident body language, you will have unconfident thoughts. Watch the Amy Cuddy video on "Fake it until you make it". Have confident body language all the time. If you start slouching, lift up your chest and hold your head up high... even if you are hanging around! You will feel more confident as you turn this into a habit. Practice this stuff every day. You WILL get better. Small wins build confidence and you will create a positive feedback loop.
Regarding "how was your summer", maybe try complementing them instead. People love to feel good about themselves. Are they wearing a unique accessory (watch, necklace, hat) or clothing? Say, "Wow that is a really interesting hat!" See what they say. If they don't open up try a follow-up question. I tried this comment and they opened up about where they were from, how they moved here, etc. The hat was really a way for them to communicate their identity. Another approach is the sympathy card... "Hi, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out". Talk about a situation you are in and ask for their feedback. Then branch out the convo based on their responses. Make sure your body language is open, yet confident - do not come on strong or closed.
Ah, actually it was The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara and Allan Pease.
https://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language-Expressions-ebook/dp/B000SEH9QG
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B000SEH9QG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
This book goes quite in depth on the shaking of hands.