Reddit mentions of The Mistress Manual: A Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

The good news is that the "fantasy sexting" (which is a great phrase, btw) gives you a great start as to what you're both into!

If you're looking for reading recommendations, might I suggest The Mistress Manual? It's got a lot of suggested scenarios that you can draw from in building scenes, and also a lot of "how do I cope with the anxiety/wtf am I doing??" helpfulness.

Start slow, is my other suggestion. If you're not sure about tools, implements, etc. then just add one new thing every time you play and have that be it, and don't be afraid to ask for feedback -- it doesn't make you any less dominant to want to know how he's feeling, etc.

A few tricks I picked up early on when I was much more anxious: one is blindfolds are a girl's best friend (or simply placing him where he can't look right at you) -- it's way more calming to dig through your stuff for that lost whatever-it-is, or accidentally get caught in your own shirt, or whatever, if someone isn't actively watching you do it, haha. Another is to not get too caught up in planning the intricacies of the scene; it's really tempting to plot the whole thing out ahead of time, and it may actually help you hypothetically (I still plan a whole scene when I'm topping someone new!) but but then if something goes wrong, you have to be able to think on your feet and react appropriately instead of just doing the whole scene at him. Both of you are involved. Also, personally, I tend to take my own orgasm out of the equation the first couple times I top someone -- either they get me off or I get myself off beforehand to take the edge off and then I can focus without having to worry as much about the sexy bits.

Also, if he's really into rope and would be open to teaching you, that's something you might have a lot of fun with out of character, so to speak. Just because he's tied up in a scene doesn't mean he can't help you get him tied up in the first place :)

A submissive POT gifted me this book a few years ago and it turned out to be a really great resource - maybe you will feel the same about it?

kindle version


LMK what you think if you do end up checking it out. It’s been a while but from what I remember it definitely provided some useful tips tricks and information.

Hope this helps!

I would suggest starting with some reading. [This] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005HZ6H5A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1) is one I enjoyed. I would also suggest reading through some of the posts here. Also, you may get more feedback at r/bdsmcommunity. Good luck!