Reddit mentions of The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It

It's generally accepted that CBT or, to a lesser (but self-manageable) extent, mindfulness meditation are things that are known to work for such problems.

For certain causes of stress, books like https://www.amazon.com/Now-Habit-Overcoming-Procrastination-Guilt-Free/dp/1585425524 or https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters-ebook/dp/B005ERIRZE might be helpful, but YMMW; it helps some but for many (most?) people reading self-help books aren't sufficient to do anything and actual activities (CBT, meditation or possibly others) have a larger chance to help.

You're not a special snowflake, none of us are. It's only through dedicatedly doing shit you don't want to that you can chisel yourself into something better. Improving oneself is difficult because you are both the mason and the block of marbel. its not easy.

You want to develop self control? Realise that you are completely normal and not entitled to anything. Go and read some books ont he science of self control and you would see the fact that you lack it shows that you most likely will not succeed in life no matter how "gifted" you were as a child. You can change this through constant hard fucking work which is essentially all that self control is but thats about it. There are no tricks. Self control is a muscle that is developed through use. Sit down for 4 hours a day and study. WHen you can do that start studying for 5 hours. ect.

it's not easy. Realise that you are nothing without developing yourself and then build yourself up. Anyone can do the work, you are not special, the dedication to work is what differentiates the wannabees from the true acheivers.

As for books on the topic

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/1400069289

http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters-ebook/dp/B005ERIRZE/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368309907&sr=1-1&keywords=self+control

Good luck.

glad it does something for you!

so check out the book "The Willpower Instinct" -- the author wanted to teach a class at Stanford about willpower and so she did research and created a class. The class quickly became the number one class to take, and people were taking it multiple times. So she wrote a book.

It's a fantastic book that goes into our "wants" and all the dirty tricks our brain does to us to get us to get things. For example, in cases of things like cakes and sweets, the brain increases blood sugar levels BEFORE you even get close to getting the cake/sweet. Your brain is prepping for getting something before your conscious mind has even thought about it.

The number one most "expensive" thing for a brain to do is to maintain self control. It's figured that the brain spends in sugar about 1/2 of a tic tac for every moment of self control. Humans, do in fact have essentially a video-game like "willpower meter" that gets lower throughout the day.

the book is fascinating - get it.

https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters-ebook/dp/B005ERIRZE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1486696583&sr=8-1&keywords=The+willpower+instinct


I grew up studying Phenomenology and existentialism, but that didn't do much for me...lol

and here's the author doing a google talk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BXuZL1HAg

Also - yes, it's possible to reconfigure our brains. You can do so with things like Cognative Behavioral Therapy (good book - "Mind over mood" and "Feeling Good") and you can get into reframing with Neural Linguistic Programming

you also can go a more extreme route and use operant conditioning which does work (Like when they made a baby afraid of white fluffy things...cruel, but it worked)

https://www.verywell.com/the-little-albert-experiment-2794994

There's a cool device called a "Pavlok" that is basically a shock collar for humans (you wear it on your wrist). when you do something you don't like, you zap yourself. People have quit smoking in 5 days doing this.

The book sounds interesting, I’m putting it on my TBR. In kind of the same vein, I can recommend The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal (amazon, audible). She has some talks on youtube, too, but I haven’t watched those, so I can’t vouch for them. I assume they summarise the ideas of her course/book, though.

Aside from sheer hunger, there also might be a psychological issue related to willpower at play for some of us. McGonigal cites research suggesting that when we effectively discipline our selves in one area, we often turn around and, against better judgment and perhaps outside of our awareness, give ourselves license to indulge in another area. I don't know what the quantifiable differences are upon hunger from a 5, 10, 15+ mile run, but I do know that the more I run, the more I tend to fudge on good choices later that day. Might just be me though.

Maybe try The Willpower Instinct because it's got a lot of interesting information on how willpower seems to work, it's not simply a self help book.

I've also been working on changing the words I use internally towards myself. For example if my day or week of eating gets out of hand I try not to think to myself that I'm a "fucking idiot." Once I pictured sitting across the room from myself and using the same language in a discussion I realized that person was not someone I wanted to spend time with. I don't have to be so cruel towards myself, I'm already having a tough enough time as is.

Also I'm trying to recognize the fact that I cannot help how I feel or what kind of craving I have, but it doesn't mean I need to act on it. I'm the one in control of my physical actions.

Of course... it helps if I try to set myself up for the best success possible. I try to have snacks and meal that are more filling and not carb based because I know they will sustain me for longer. Having a cheese stick, or egg, or small salad, or etc if I'm going too long between meals means that I have a better chance of making a healthier choice later.

The reason I didn't have a WD last night may have been due to the cold shower I took before going to bed. It's highly speculative at this point, but worth considering. I had been telling myself, "I do not fantasize," but this only invoked the white bear problem, so I wouldn't recommend that. I can't speak from personal experience, but yesterday I picked up The Willpower Instinct at a library after seeing incredibly positive reviews on Amazon and a fair amount of discussion on it in this community, and I'm willing to bet this has some techniques you'd find helpful in avoiding WDs in the future.

$3,753.93 saved, 7,507 cigs not smoked, 31 days saved.

Those stats are awesome but not even the best thing about not smoking. The freedom I have gained is the singlemost best thing about it.

For my 500 days I would like to recommend a book I am currently reading for those of you who like to read:
The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why it Matters...

Bonus edit:
21 lessonsfrom the willpower instinct

I can empathize with your post. I have some similar tendencies and issues.

Some thoughts/questions:

• What goals do you have (if any)?
  
• What do you want (physically/emotionally/anything)?
  
• What do you enjoy doing while you're doing it?
  
• What do you look forward to?
  
• I've found that weed can be my biggest obstacle to motivation - have you tried cutting it out? How long have you been smoking it?
  
• Have you tried meditation?
  
  One thing that I would expect to tie into the lack of responsibility you've shown is having to be accountable. If you slack off / don't do things, do you have consequences? Or is it that you're aware of them, and then do enough to not get bitten too hard by them?
  
  Lastly, just something to throw out there. I'm currently reading this book on willpower and find it fascinating. Maybe there's something in there for you too.
  
  Best wishes to you. I hope you find some answers.

The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal

It's got a very scientific take explaining how your brain acts in regards to willpower, and has exercises/tips for completing a "willpower challenge." The author taught a Science of Willpower course at Stanford.

That's the spirit. Btw I recommend this book, you might want to try it out :) "The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can DoTo Get More of It" http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005ERIRZE

Look dude. There’s no physical or chemical addiction. It’s all emotional. It’s all in your mind. You have to be able to control yourself ... with sex, drugs, food, video games, porn. Everything. If you can’t control yourself, you’re fucked in life.

I can’t say I understand porn addiction. I don’t watch porn because I think it’s not good for me. I do understand other types of addiction. You have to put yourself in a place where you can’t access porn anymore. Go on a month long camping trip and don’t take your phone. Remove yourself from the ability to watch porn for at least a month.

If you return from a month off and go right back to it. Well, you’re fucked in life anyway. So ... good luck to you.

Also check out The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005ERIRZE/