Reddit mentions of It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

SO MANY HUGS. I was in precisely your shoes last year. My boyfriend of about 3 years showed signs of being unhappy for a couple of months, but assured me that things were fine (he was absolutely terrible at talking about things.) I went to visit him (we're also university students,) I asked him again if everything was okay and if there was anything he wanted to talk about. He said everything was good. Three weeks later he dumped me on the phone.

I felt like you did - in physical pain, devastated and feeling like the worst thing in the world had happened to me. I had to go to work the next day and spent the whole day shuffling around like a zombie. I cried all the time and begged him for answers as to why he dumped me. I got some vague ones but no real closure on the fact that he dumped me on the phone instead of in person (aside from the explanation that he's a coward.)

It's going to take time to get better. It's been a year since this happened to me and I feel a lot better about it. I'm over it but I'm not quite at the point where I can look back on our relationship with fondness. I'll share some of the things that made me feel better:

1. Have a good wallow. Have your best friend over (or do it alone, I personally don't like crying in front of people,) watch sad movies, eat junk food, drink wine and have a good cry. You need to give yourself perimeters for being out-of-commission level upset so that being depressed doesn't take over your life. Which is not to say that after one wallow you're never allowed to cry again, what it means is that you say, "ok, Tuesday night is going to be my sad night in, but for the rest of the week I'm going to try to keep myself together and do the things I need to do until my next sad night in."
   
   
2. Buy or borrow this book: It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken. It's quite possibly the cheesiest thing in the entire goddamned world but it helps. It's full of really good advice about how to stop obsessing over why he dumped you, what self-destructive behaviours you should recognize and keep yourself away from, and how to start feeling better. I read it about 3 times over the course of 2 weeks.
   
   
3. Yes, relationships become a huge part of what creates happiness for us. Part of what is so painful about a breakup is redefining yourself as an individual when you've come to see yourself as part of a unit. You need to start finding new sources of joy in your life. I bet you have lots of friends who you haven't seen as much as you used to before you got into a relationship. Reconnect with them and make one another valued parts of each other's lives. They're the people who are going to be gently pushing you out into the world again.
   
   
4. You're in college, right? College is full of new activities to try and new passions to discover. Last year, I threw myself into a ton of new clubs and societies. I had stuff going on every night of the school week. I met new people, I developed new interests, I tried new things and I had less time to sit at home and be sad. I'm sure your college is full of clubs, and all of them will be recruiting come September.
   
   
5. Look into counseling if you want to. Since you're in college it's probably offered at your student health centre. It never hurts to get some outside perspective and to unload feelings onto someone who's trained to help you through them and won't get tired of hearing about it.
   
   
6. Wait it out. Don't get mad at yourself for not being 100% better in whatever time frame you anticipated. It's the most infuriating cliche in the world, but time really does heal all wounds. If you really take time to take care of yourself, nurture the relationships in your life and discover new and exciting things, you'll heal. You're not broken forever and you will get better and find love again. It just takes time.
   
   Feel free to PM me if you feel like talking. Take care of yourself - I know it doesn't feel like it but you're going to be okay <3.

I'm sorry. :( Mostly it just takes time - how much probably depends on how in love with your girlfriend you were. I have been there and the only thing that really helps me (aside from time and being busy) is reading this book nearly everyday. It's geared towards women but I have a guy friend who got a lot out of it too. It's brutally honest and also really funny. You can read the first few pages on the link I gave you if you click on "search inside this book."

You need to get this book
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921852

then i found the love of my life a few months later!!

I'm here giving you internet hugs! When I went through my last breakup, I bought this book and read through it. I'm usually not one for self-help books, but someone online had suggested it and I'm here paying it forward.

Other than that, just know that it's okay to feel hurt. You loved someone, it's over, and that really sucks right now. I believe in you. :)

I commend you for putting your foot down. This book is kinda amazing. This book is kinda funny. This book is kinda deep.