(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best development psychology books

Is Occupational Therapy helping with his sensory issues? With my daughter, I had to try several therapists before we found someone who was a good fit and was actually helpful. Are you utilizing a sensory diet at home? (If not, ask your OT to help you with creating a sensory diet at home - super important!) At that age, when I could see my daughter spinning out into bad behavior territory, I'd try to catch it early and redirect her to one of her sensory diet activities instead. Do you have a sensory swing? Those help too.

I think some of this is age, some is sensory issues, some is the autism itself. 2 1/2 was a really, really, really rough age for my autistic daughter. We had many of the same issues you listed. (Don't get me started on tooth brushing!) We have a family therapist who works exclusively with families with autistic children. She told me that the only things that really need to be disciplined are safety issues. (And, by disciplined, I don' ean time outs - discipline means "to teach".) Everything else is negotiable. Things like hitting(me), spitting, etc. I would just ignore and stay calm.

That's not to say I was willing to just let my kid have her way. I did not just give in when she had a tantrum. There were still rules and limits in the house - it was not a free for all. But, instead of disciplining the tantrum with a time out (which always just escalated things into a very bad place) I would ignore any undesirable behavior - letting her vent her frustration without shame or judgment - then when she would start to calm down, I would help her self sooth by either letting her sit on my lap, doing deep breathing with her, redirecting her to one of her "sensory diet" activities that was sure to calm her, etc. And, I always told her what a great job she was doing calming down. That's what I chose to give attention to - the calming down part, not the behavior that preceded it. If that makes sense.

You seem to be aware that kids on the spectrum have more trouble with self regulation than their neurotypical peers. Their reactions are more over the top. But, that doesn't mean there isn't a reason or trigger for their over-the-top reaction in the first place. Your job as a parent to an autistic child is to become a detective. Start taking note of when the behaviors are most likely to occur and the conditions that preceded the behavior. Hopefully, you will begin to notice patterns. Once you can begin to identify the antecedents of his freak outs, start experimenting with altering things to try to trigger less freak outs.

There's a fantastic book that helped me to understand some of the underlying reasons for my daughter's freak outs, recommended to me by our developmental pediatrician: Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant.
https://www.amazon.com/Uniquely-Human-Different-Seeing-Autism-ebook/dp/B00P42X22C
I think every parent should get a copy of this book when their child is diagnosed with autism - it's so incredibly helpful. Once you can begin to understand some of the common reasons underlying common behaviors exhibited by autistic children, you can work toward finding solutions. And, when you find solutions, the behaviors go away. It's not an instant fix, but you're playing the long game here. This approach takes time, but helps immensely.

I also highly recommend you look into the work of Dr Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child. When I found his approach to working with children with challenging behavior (regardless of diagnosis), it was absolutely paradigm-shifting for me and my parenting. I cannot praise his work highly enough:
https://www.livesinthebalance.org/walking-tour-parents
He also does a podcast, and you can search by topic specifically for episodes dedicated to using his approach with very young children.

Finally, you know that your child is lacking emotional regulation skills. You can't expect him to just "act right" if he does not have the skills to do so (which goes back to Dr Greene's work, referenced above). You're going to have to teach him those skills as he grows. Look into resources for teaching him self regulation, emotional regulation, and emotional resilience.

Some search terms are "emotional regulation skills for kids", "DBT activities for kids", "teaching "mindfulness to kids", and "coping skills for young kids".

The worst time to try and teach emotional regulation skills is in the heat of a meltdown - instead, you have to work on it when he's calm or only a little bit upset. Even something as simple as learning to take deep breaths when upset was a game changer for my kid. She now spontaneously calms herself with deep breathing when she's getting upset or overwhelmed. OK... not every time (she's only 3) but a lot of times.

That's hat worked for us. Hang in there - you're in a really rough patch. But, this is not forever. Hopefully some of those suggestions are helpful.

Well, for one its a strong demonstration of narcissistic behavior, which rarely brings positive outcomes in one's life, if ever. It would be better to channel this energy in more productive endeavors, through sublimation or projection. Cheap thrills which are not aligned with someone's long term goals are simply destructive behavior. Unless said person plans to work with nudity, it's something that feels good now, but hinders your well-being in the end, much like procrastination, heavy drinking, binge eating etc.

Source: The largest longitudinal study on how to lead a good life:

https://www.amazon.com/Triumphs-Experience-Harvard-Grant-Study/dp/0674503813

Two great starter books:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Understanding-Nature-Autism-Aspergers-Disorder/dp/1843108143

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Very-Short-Introduction-Introductions/dp/0199207569

Both of these books are fairly historical but go through many of the steps that led to where we are today.

I've got a few hundred books now and these two are what I'd recommend as the starting point for someone interested in recapping autism research from the beginning. This history is important because it provides some hints as to why genes/brain differences are so elusive.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Medium_Is_the_Massage

Marshall McLuhan wrote about the effects of TV on perception of reality.

Tannis MacBeth also did a study and wrote an amazing book on the effects of TV on society, as seen in a real life rural village, from the very beginning.

Book'll change your life, bro, swear to god. Here is a link to amazon, I don't waste my time with money making schemes or none of that shit, so: http://www.amazon.com/The-Impact-Television-Experiment-Communities/dp/0127562915

...but the internet is cool, bros, don't worry. . ..

I am not a clinician or a clinical researcher, so I can't (and won’t) recommend any books on parenting skills. What I can do is provide you with some titles of books on basic child development and social development. I think that it will be fascinating to read about how humans learn and develop and then see it happen in real time in your own tiny human.

Two recommendations:


Child Development – by Laura Berk
https://www.amazon.ca/Child-Development-9th-Laura-Berk/dp/0205149766

Social and personality development – by David R Shaffer
https://www.amazon.com/Social-Personality-Development-David-Shaffer/dp/0534368190

I hope you enjoy the titles!

On my phone, and if I remember, I'll come back and share more later... But for now I would highly recommend this book: Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis: A Simple Developmental Map https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017V5LTXS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_R.C1xbQY981H4

It helped me understand what I was going through when I was in a similar position and learn to reframe what it means to have faith and what it looks like for that faith to be challenged and grow.

Edit: if you need to chat or have questions for someone who has been in your shoes, pm me.

I'd recommend Robert C. Roberts work on this. He's a world class scholar in this area. Here's the first in his trilogy that lays out his theory of emotion: https://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Essay-Aid-Moral-Psychology/dp/0521525845/ref=pd_rhf_ee_s_pd_session_scf_1_5?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0521525845&pd_rd_r=HJHTF314S1M3CA84YQCT&pd_rd_w=jUkky&pd_rd_wg=np4ik&pf_rd_i=desktop-rhf&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=3505674102&pf_rd_r=HJHTF314S1M3CA84YQCT&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhf&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=HJHTF314S1M3CA84YQCT

Here's his second book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Moral-Life-Robert-Roberts/dp/1107576377/ref=pd_bxgy_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1107576377&pd_rd_r=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6&pd_rd_w=eQyZr&pd_rd_wg=D2dIc&psc=1&refRID=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6

And here's the Oxford Handbook. I'm currently reading through it: https://www.amazon.com/Oxford-Handbook-Philosophy-Emotion-Handbooks/dp/0199654379/ref=pd_sim_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0199654379&pd_rd_r=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6&pd_rd_w=GPled&pd_rd_wg=D2dIc&psc=1&refRID=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6

Also, the area of philosophy that deals with this topic is moral psychology. I'd definitely check out this intro: https://www.amazon.com/Moral-Psychology-Contemporary-Introduction-Introductions/dp/0415529697/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1518110231&sr=1-2&keywords=moral+psychology

Hope this helps!

A month late on your post, but I would highly suggest you get into evolutionary theory of psychopathology. Everything really begins to click, the dots really seem to all connect, and its the most insightful way to glean things that most PhD clinical psychs will not be knowledgeable about.

https://www.amazon.com/Evolutionary-Psychopathology-Marco-Del-Giudice/dp/0190246847

Read the sample chapters and I think after that you will not hesitate to buy the complete book.

Good luck.

This book may be worth your time. While I haven't read this particular one, I've enjoyed other books in the series. They can serve as a great starting point before going on to other, more complex works. They're short and so easy to quickly consume.

Consciousness: A Very Short Introduction (Very Short Introductions)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0198794738/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_u8.KBbSX5JRXA

It's only been three months. She's probably lost more than one caregiver, and she doesn't know if you're sticking around either. I mean, you still have work to do re: attachment, but don't stress too much, because this isn't that unusual.

I don't have personal experience with getting a child to attach, but I've heard of some books that are pretty good: Attaching in Adoption, Parenting the Hurt Child. Hopefully you get some tips from adoptive parents here!

TM isn't imagery. As I said, the deepest point of TM is cessation of any and all awareness-of activity in the brain.

The current theory is that the relevant region of the thalamus temporarily becomes hypersaturated during TM and so simply stops processing any external or internal data, leaving the brain free to rebalance itself without any interference.

This has implications well beyond PTSD therapy and in fact, the TM model is that human growth is open ended and goes well beyond Piagetian models or even Maslovian models of self-actualization.

See: Higher Stages of Human Development Eds. Alexander, Langer

So, I should probably start by clarifying that I am a social psychologist by training, not a clinical psychologist, so my knowledge of "disorders" is somewhat limited. That being said, I know a lot about attachment theory from a normative perspective and the best resource I can give for more information is a book by Mario Mikulincer & Phil Shaver called "Attachment in Adulthood" http://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Adulthood-Structure-Dynamics-Change/dp/1606236105 (I often refer to this as my "bible"). You can also look at the Handbook of Attachment (co-edited by Jude Cassidy who works with me at Maryland)--it has an entire section of chapters devoted to psychopathology and clinical applications for attachment theory. For more information that you don't have to pay for, check out http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/all-tags/ and look under "attachment," "narcissism," "deception," "cheating/infidelity," "sexism" for more. If you don't see a specific question covered you can always write in and ask; one of us will pick it up.

As for your specific question about gender, there is much debate about whether males truly are more prone to avoidant attachment than females. The evidence is very mixed--many studies have found no significant gender differences at all in attachment style, and some that do are only found using surveys but not interviews or other implicit measures. In my own personal anecdotal experience, I've known many avoidant women and anxious/preoccupied men, but I have also observed that young adults in America tend to display more avoidance across the board. So, if there is a socialization component to attachment styles based on cultural norms, I think it may be making everyone more avoidant regardless of gender.

If you're curious to read more on the subject, there's been a lot of work on it since van Gennep's writings (1909). I recommend Louise Carus Mahdi's works Betwixt and Between: Patterns of Masculine and Feminine Initiation as well as Crossroads: The Quest for Contemporary Rites of Passage

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These are all good books to start with ^^

> Science currently does not have the means to prove that non-physical entities are real.

It can't prove it nor prove these things don't exist for the simple reason that you can't prove the non existence of something that doesn't exist. Prove to me that pink flying elephants don't exist in the Himalayas. You can't.

So in this matter I alway go back to Russell's teapot. The ones saying spirits exist are the ones that should provide evidence of its existence.

If spirits only exist because you believe they exist, then they don't really exist.

Magical thinking is the default mode of the human brain btw, I'm not saying anyone is crazy. For example how many kids do you know that believe the sun is alive? It's a pretty common thing.

> However, many people talk about how they felt the presence of the spirit of Ayahuasca or San Pedro for several weeks after they consumed it.

What these people feel are neurotransmitters and hormones. This can be backed up with tons of papers, research, measurements, etc. There are even tons of research on why humans tend to have irrational beliefs. Here's a great introductory book.

Can you back up any of your claims with anything other than poetry?

Because, feelings, beliefs, and intuitions, are all brain fabrications.

The User Illusion, or
The first idea would be good places to start.

He and Susan Blackmore popularized the term. She wrote a book about the concept.

I got them from textbooks I've used in the past couple of years because I study child development. I won't be able to link you to sources online but here are the books, Parenting and Lifespan Development. Sorry, I wasn't much help. I should definitely research more online to see how these stats compare. Research is constantly changing.

Interesting problem. Maybe this book can help you: http://www.amazon.com/Dyadic-Analysis-Methodology-Social-Sciences/dp/1572309865

Dawkins: a unit of culture that is transmitted via imitation.

If you are interested in memetics, I suggest a look at Dr Susan Blackmores - Meme Machine

I just got a book about this, but I haven't started reading it yet so I honestly have no idea about its validity or if it even gives me an answer.

Here is a link to the book. From the brief description it doesn't make it seem like the question is answered. It's a big book so it will likely be some time before I even get to it.

There's "Moral Psychology: A Contemporary Introduction" by Tiberius but it also considers philosophical considerations.

Reality

Consciousness

There are tonnes of others in the series too.

Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant

Talk on YouTube by Barry Prizant

Ido in Autismland by Ido Kedar


You’re correct not to ‘punish’. Report anything that you think is abuse. It’s really important. That sounds quite disturbing that your professor would suggest that. It’s easy for that to get out of hand. You’re right to want to take a different approach.

I avoid Robert Bly for the most part. Him and James Hillman. Not my cup of tea. I go to Von Franz for my fairy tale interpretations. That being said - I got a recommendation for you Betwixt and Between is one of the best resources on rites of passages - it's an anthology with a shit ton of essays/articles about the matter. It's broken into each life stage - as well as male and female rites.