Reddit mentions: The best gardening machetes

Why this machete? Depending on what a person is planning on using it for in the woods it may or may not be a great selection, but for a zombie apocalypse it would force you to get really close due to lack of edge/point on the front. I don't think any benefit from the design of this blade for non-defensive purposes would outweigh the drawbacks of added zombie whacking complication. A latin style machete would give some nice reach, and a good Khukuri/Kukri can replace a hatchet pretty well as well as giving good hacking weight.

As a suggestion, I have the 15" Siru Special from Khukuri House and the thing is a beast. I've taken down small trees with it pretty quickly (though my hand was a bit numb afterward). I wouldn't want to swing it for hours in a jungle as it's heavy in comparison to a regular machete, but for camping and general household maintenance it has been awesome. Just be prepared for something like $30-$50 shipping charges as it's actually coming from Nepal.

Brace for rant.

Alright, you have a shit ton of survival knives and machete's to choose from, but for my money I have always loved Cold Steel's products. For your case I would recommend Cold Steel's Bushman knife and Kukri Machete.

Bushman: http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Bushman-Cordura-Survival/dp/B0015RQI7Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381631382&sr=8-1&keywords=cold+steel+bushman

Kukri Machete: http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-97KMS-Kukri-Machete/dp/B000FJRR2K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381631412&sr=8-1&keywords=cold+steel+kukri+machete

Here is why.
First off they can both take a lot of punishment and keep going. Prove it you say? Well the fine people and cold steel do that for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaTbOGcsXoE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq1EFWVV3C0

And here is the best part. Both of them are so cheap, If I break one tomorrow beyond repair (Highly unlikely by the way) I'm not out a whole lot of money. I can buy another one without loosing sleep. That's a good thing with a work knife, I don't know about you, but a piece of equipment I paid a lot of money for I'm much more careful with. I treat my bushman like a 1950's drunken dad with his redheaded step child, and that's what you want to be able to do with a survival knife. I want to be able to toss the fucker in the mud, use it to clean small or large game, and then use it as an impromptu tent peg. I will warn you though, Haole_Boy does bring up a good point about the handle. It does get very uncomfortable when used for a while. But that's easly fixed with some para cord, or if you want, go and grab some handle tape for a tennis racket.

As for your question about the pros and cons of a kukri vs a hatchet; I find each tool has it's up and downs. My camping bag has both the kukri machete and a hatchet. I find that the heft of the hatchet helps when cutting through actual logs, while the kukri is good for cutting through medium sized tree limbs. But honestly, if i had to drop weight, I'd drop the hatchet. I can power through the log if I had to with the kukri machete. Not as comfortable, but doable.

Using this RANDOM teapot from my kitchen/baking/food list would make me most seem like an old posh Englishman. Pip pip!

RANDOM "oh god, I would never be seen with this in public" item from the kitchen/baking food list... because I would ALWAYS be at home baking with it!

This is a very "phallic" towel. Yeah. From the RANDOM things list.

This Star Trek cookbook from the Books list is the geekiest RANDOM thing =D

These would certainly help me in my quest to learn how to crochet! From the crafting list. Uhm... RANDOM!

This would be the best thing to bring to a RANDOM deserted island. From the RANDOM things list.

<3<3 COOL contest! I tried to use the word "random" more than you lol. Clearly.

I personally have this on my list

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001H53Q80/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=1A10LKDQUZ32F&coliid=I23MIHF58OIHZ0

but haven't tried it yet

This is supposed to have a ridiculously think blade, making it a near hatchet hybrid.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TZKF9UW/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_S_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=1A10LKDQUZ32F&coliid=I10XOLU55WVS5E

For coconuts tho, wouldn't some sort of electric saw work best? Just in terms of time and effort on that scale; it seems like something that would be useful in that it would also function for home improvement projects.

If, for some reason, you would like to use a fold out saw, I would think http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CED1OG?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00

It comes highly recommended on most reviews that I've seen

I love my small forest axe. Best survival purchase i've made. I wouldn't stray from that idea, unless you decide to refurbish an antique hatchet. I've seen people fix up sixty year old plumb scout hatchets to gransfors quality.

For knives, i use my moraknive survival and the condor bushlore. The bushlore a hardy-ass knife and it's only about thirty bucks. I use the mora regularly. That particular one is what i have, i picked it up based on the thickness of the blade, but they have far cheaper ones if you don't want to throw down that much. I believe you can get an almost identicle knife without the firesteel for around 15 bucks cheaper.
Good Review on the bushlore

Machete-wise, i love my Condor Parang. It's giant, it sharpens well, it holds an edge, and it's tough as nails. The thing is 1/4 inch thick. It's big. It also comes with a sexy leather sheath of equally high quality and durability.
I've also played around with the full size bear grylls Parang by gerber. Thing cuts like you wouldn't believe, with great weight length and balance. I use the condor, my survival bud uses the gerber. They're about equal in different ways.

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, /u/Sp3cia1K!

A machete totally relates to /u/Sp3cia1K. See, she's been been hard at work doing all the behind the scenes work on the bomb. And a bomb is a weapon. Just like a machete. Also, I think she's really sharp :)

If you want an authentic Indian aruval, it won't be easy. Antique dealers who sell Indian weapons might have one - this will be your best bet to find the specialised weapon version.

If you're happy with something like an aruval, even if not actually Indian, and are happy with the tool version, some Italian billhooks are a lot like some aruvals. E.g., https://www.amazon.com/Rinaldi-Large-Bergamo-Billhook-5-102N5/dp/B07D5K1PH8/ has a similar blade shape and a similar pommel hook to some types of aruval. Some aruvals in the movies are very modern in style, and a billhook machete https://www.machetespecialists.com/products/machetes/billhook/ might be OK.

For readers other than the OP: the aruval is an Indian billhook or billhook-sword: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arival

Haven't had experience with Okapi machetes but I have some with their folding knives and I was seriously underwhelmed by their quality, thought they were fake or something.

Anyway, I have great experience with Tramontina machetes, they are well made, also cheap, come out of Brazil (which use them a lot in the jungles) and come with a sheath that will allow safe and easy storage/carry if needed.

A few years ago I was trekking off into the woods on machete adventures with a friend and yes, cigars were included.

I didn't have anything as awesome as that, but my Gerber did the trick for an afternoon of trail blazing.

Happy blazing!

Hijacking the top comment to say check out this awesome MacheteSaw

It's only 20 bucks. I definitely want one of these for camping. I also just have a thing for machetes, they're useful and awesome at the same time.

Getting down to brass tacks, though, I highly recommend the Cold Steel Kukri machete. I picked one up about a year ago and although it doesn't come with the sharpest blade, it is really easy to hone.

It's awesome quality, comes with a sheath, and the kukri shape combined with an 18" blade makes cutting off even the largest of arms a snap!

I would go with the gerber gator machete. I have had one in my fishing bag fora few years and it works great for clearing brush, even small to medium sized trees. Easy to sharpen, solid chuck of metal. I have a second one in my "just incase the world ends" bag.

http://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/B004A1IXRC/ref=pd_aw_sims_1?pi=SS115&simLd=1

this or maybe one of these or one of these I like the last one best

Almost anything would be better than that. A Kukri, a Parang or a Bolo Machete for example would be great for a bush clearer.

Big Left, top to bottom:

Gerber Gator Jr.
Harbor Freight $8 survival knife
KA-BAR #1213 Black Straight Edge
Ka-Bar Short Kraton-G Handle

Big Right, top to bottom:

Schrade SCHKM1 Large Full Tang Fixed Blade Kukri
Schrade SCHKM1SM Small Full Tang Fixed Blade Kukri
Schrade SCHF9N

Small stuff, top row, left to right:

Bessey D-BKWH Quick-Change Folding Utility Knife - Wood Grain Handle
Some cheap Husky multitool I got at Home Depot two-for-five-bucks back in '10 or '11
CRKT Eraser

Small stuff, bottom row, left to right:;

SOG Aegis Mini
Kershaw Thistle
Spyderco Resilience

-----

The Harbor Freight was an impulse thing. Same with the cheap-o Home Depot multitools.

The rest is pretty budget-conscious stuff. No matter what, though, even though they're not considered top-of-the-line or whatever, nobody will ever convince me that Schrade doesn't make some pretty damn good knives.

I'm a machete enthusiast.

Order yourself an Ontario brand machete (no saw-back those suck). Get the sheath, too.

Whole thing should set you back less than $30

https://www.amazon.com/9001143-Ontario-18-Military-Machete/dp/B00B5Z8BV4/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=ontario+machete+with+sheath&qid=1564843930&s=gateway&sprefix=ontario+machete+with+&sr=8-4


https://www.amazon.com/Ontario-Knife-Lightweight-Machete-Sheath/dp/B0040I94M8/ref=pd_aw_sim_1/134-0643809-0283266?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0040I94M8&pd_rd_r=68b5f81a-a8f5-44ef-afd7-52cef87128f2&pd_rd_w=EAJr8&pd_rd_wg=3uowm&pf_rd_p=469620d9-3e90-496d-9dc8-b19f900ba5fe&pf_rd_r=VSKZ7M81AGV1NB7PBS9G&psc=1&refRID=VSKZ7M81AGV1NB7PBS9G

Be sure to get the right size sheath for your machete.

I recommend the 18" for indoor use.

I am like 99% positive its a cold steel. http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Kukri-Machete-Handle/dp/B000FJRR2K/ref=sr_1_1?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1343949055&sr=1-1&keywords=cold+steel+kukri

Move. Get to know neighbors who keep an eye on things. Change up your routine, break contact with mutual friends who don't know how to shut up, the usual opsec stuff.

As for spending money, here's a good self-installed security system company with cheap monitoring: http://simplisafe.com/

And a double barrel, 20 gauge muzzleloading pistol:

http://www.middlesexvillagetrading.com/PDBC.SHTML

And a dog for warning and maybe biting:

https://www.petfinder.com/

And a quality $10 machete:

http://www.amazon.com/Tramontina-12-Machete-Wooden-Handle/dp/B001TR2VVY/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1421780096&sr=8-5

Any opinions about the Gerber Gator? It's from a generally trustworthy company, has good Amazon reviews, and is fairly inexpensive.

I have a standard Ka-Bar I use for everything else, but when I'm collecting firewood with it I often find myself wishing I had a slightly longer/heavier blade.

Kind of looks like a Gerber Gator Machete Pro.

I had most of the volumes up till Dark Horse dropped it I think? This was years ago, so I never get to read the ending =\ There was an anime too, I've only seen 1 episode and the production value was pretty low.

Yep, check out this. At $19 you could buy 2.
However you might like one direct from Nepal.

Looks like a well used corn machete IMACASA 20" Imacasa Corn Machete https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KRO9FU0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Oqdpzb235GBPV

Come on dude. That seems like straight out of a BudK catalog. At least buy something functional.

Badass? How about a Machete / Kukri? :D

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B006YBY9GA/ref=pd_aw_sims_6?pi=SS115&simLd=1
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000FJRR2K/ref=pd_aw_sims_4?pi=SS115&simLd=1

Im so on a team with /u/whiskeyandkittens and /u/eatingdust . My item would be this heavy duty machete. Good for hacking off parts of the Mighty Zombie Jesus.

I use this one when I clean trails while I hike.


Gerber 31-000758 Gator Machete with Sheath
http://amzn.com/B004A1IXRC

Are you really prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Cold Steel makes something like that...

http://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Handed-Machete-Polypropylene/dp/B0030D9RFS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317664973&sr=8-1

I know what you're saying is true for most machetes. For the cold-steel one I have, this does not hold true. It is an absolute beast and would not break batoning.

Cold Steel Heavy Machete

wait...some people don't own a machete? this is a fine machete, and would make short work of that plant. pickax and spade to dig out the clump.

I sleep with this by the bed in case of intruders. We have a lot of blades and things around though. I'm just to lazy to track them all down and take photos lol.

What they said, though for some reason these are really expensive right now. Amazon was the cheapest I could find at $25 and change:

https://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-97AM21S-Machete-21-Inch/dp/B008X6Z4T0/r

They are usually more in the neighborhood of $15-17, not really sure what the deal is. Or isn't.

In case anyone was wondering, this is the Gerber Gator Machete Pro.

For a large knife get a Cold Steel Bushman in S-K5 steel https://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Bushman-Sheath-95BUSKZ/dp/B00BD4W54Q. For a small knife Cold Steel mini pendelton in VG-1 steel https://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Pendleton-Hunter-Secure-Ex/dp/B000WADUNW. And for a really big knife a Cold Steel Royal Kukri in 1095. https://www.amazon.com/Cold-Steel-Royal-Kukri-Machete/dp/B00BD4W1DQ

Why would you not own one.

https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Gator-Machete-Sheath-31-000758/dp/B004A1IXRC/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1505335120&sr=8-3&keywords=machete

Edit: I just need to say, I cannot believe a machete is so cheap!

Here you go

Cold Steel Kukri

Those look too pretty to get all beat up out in the woods. I got this one several years ago and have no complaints so far.

Too expensive. I own one of these and it is my preferred zombie melee tool: Two handed kukri. Plus, for the price of that sword I could get dozens. Who cares if it breaks? Just grab another! Not to mention I have thoroughly abused mine and it just keeps taking it.

I've got a Gerber Gator machete that I bought before I got into knives, and I've been trying as hard as possible to break it batoning and chopping wood, and it just keeps coming back for more. I even sharpen it the laziest way possible, with one of those pull-through carbide jobs and still gets a decent (for a machete) edge. The handle is starting to loosen a little bit, but other than that no gripes. For me at least, totally worth $20.

I will say, knowing what I know now, I'd probably get a Condor instead.

I know this sub hates Gerber, but for the specified price range, and for the purpose of there being very little things to fuck up when designing a machete, may I suggest the Gerber Gator Jr. it's cheap and will do everything you seem to need it to do: http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-31-000759-Machete-Junior-Sheath/dp/B004BSGFPG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1374294372&sr=8-2&keywords=gerber+machete

I know this is joke day, but I bought a gator from a camping shop and carried it unpacked down the back of my bike jacket, no worries.

The difference is that zombie knives have no use other than causing serious harm to people, machetes have other uses.