Reddit mentions of Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

Hi there. I'm older than you. I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Nationalism wasn't a thing then because of the war in Viet Nam. My relatives lived in communist countries. I have studied Russian and Russian history and visited the USSR.

You can google Aleksandr Dugin. He is most famous for writing a book on how to destroy America from within. I firmly believe that this has been happening and is not "fake news." You would have to be familiar with the history of Russia to understand why this is going on. A good (but slow) book to read is Putin's Kleptocracy by Karen Dawisha.

I've gone through some hardships. I know I'm not going to retire as well as my parents have. This weekend I was watching the McCain funeral (on TV and online) and was stunned at some of the online comments, but then I remembered Dugin, who I believe has inspired Putin to attack the United States from within to bring out the worst in people.

Yes, the United States has problems. I've come to believe that old saying where the man lives his life wanting to change the world and comes to realize he needs to change his area of the world first. I suggest reading Brene Brown's Braving the Wilderness. Yes, this period in America's history is disheartening. Yes, it's bringing out the worst in people. There have always been problems with bias in the news (even though it's probably worse now). There are definitely things I wish were in the U.S. that are available in other countries. I am also glad to be here.

I remember when people wanted to move out when Obama was elected. I'm trying to understand where they are coming from. Some people have told me that they think we're living in a socialist country. As a student of Russian history and as someone who has an British ex, I find that opinion laughable, but I listen to them and talk with them. I have friends whose families were involved in the political arena (read: DC) in the 1970s and who have remembrances of the past where politics was politics and our elected representatives would go the parties and hang out when the day was done, no matter what their political affiliation.

Do your research. Spend some time in the country you think you want to live in. Every country has their faults. In the meantime, don't forget to vote in every election.

Edit: grammar.

Funny - I went through a similar transition when I was only a year or two younger than you.

What you need is a goal outside of your relationship - a driving force for yourself and your career, dreams about what kind of kickass life you want to be living, ideas on where you want to travel and live, and plans to make those things happen. You need to be fearless about deciding what you want in life, and all the assertiveness, confidence, and self-reliance that are inherent in womanhood will come as a result of that.

You need to think long and hard about what you want out of life, and then decide to make it happen. Nothing is too grandiose - do you want to live in the South of France? It can happen. Do you want to eventually own your own company? It can happen. The luxury of your age is that you have time to make these things happen.

To me, being a "woman" means you don't give a shit what other people think about you because you've got your goals and desires figures out (but you are still kind and polite). It means that you're life isn't dictated by fear - and it means that you are self-reliant. Therefore, any man, any career choice, any group of friends that comes into your life is evaluated by you according to whether it brings good or bad to the table for you. You don't settle for anything out of convenience.

It comes down to assertiveness, confidence, and a willingness to shamelessly ask for what you want. You already sound intelligent, you just need to learn to be stronger; with strength, you gain sex appeal. Lots of it. All of a sudden, you're a hot item, because you need to be won, you don't seem to just settle for whatever comes your way.

Know your value, know your worth. I can guarantee you it's much higher than you think right now.

Regarding your partner: if you want to still be with him, do so, but it would be a red flag for me if I hadn't had sex for months with my BF - especially at 25. Why spin your wheels at your age with someone who isn't setting you on fire with excitement? I'll tell you why: because you're afraid to leave him.

Don't live your life out of fear. Ever. Dive in full-on, take risks, and push yourself to keep growing.

Read this ridiculous book: Why Men Love B*****s - just get it! It's great, it summarizes the idea of being kind, but also prioritizing yourself first.

Read and complete the exercises in this book: The Assertiveness Workbook - a wonderful, scientifically backed-up personal course in being more assertive.

Read this great book: The Defining Decade

Get better at socializing: How to Win Friends and Influence People

In terms of motivational books to figure out what you want to do with your life? Jesus - there's too many good ones out there. Google any list of "top motivational books", "books about planning life" etc. To start - the books Willpower and Grit were useful for me.

Additionally, there's Brene Brown for a softer approach to finding what you're about as a human being. Braving the Wilderness is a great pick - and for something a bit more direct, read Unfu*k Yourself.

This is going to sound nuts, but read all of these. If you play videogames, stop. If you spend too much time on reddit, stop. Read to pass your time now, and keep growing. These books will help you learn to be strong, sexy, and give you control over your life.

I’m very similar, actually; if you’re a reader, I suggest Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown.

Regardless, the best advice anyone has ever given me is that you have to fail in order to grow. You have to do the stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward or whatever, because the only way you get better at that (or anything) is by trying things until you find the thing that works for you. You have to be able to be proud of yourself for making the effort, even if it takes awhile to get to the end result.

I think you’re going to do just fine, for whatever it’s worth. You’re super cute and you seem genuine and friendly; you’ll find your people in your new place for sure, and you’ll find the best people by being as authentic as you can be.

Good luck!!

You might want to check out Brene Brown's new book: "The quest for true belonging".

"True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are. It requires us to be who we are.” Social scientist Brené Brown, PhD,"

https://www.amazon.com/Braving-Wilderness-Quest-Belonging-Courage/dp/0812995848

Basically it is about putting your real thoughts and feelings out there, and getting experiences being accepted for who you are, rather than for some social mask. This can be scary, and it can be nice to start easy over text messages, and get some good references from there. Good luck:)

Im not sure who the "evil ones" are, but they definitly exist to split not only your country but the entire world into "us vs them" factions for their own profit. I personally feel Russia is simply a pawn in their scheme, it goes deeper than just putting a specific person in power. Its an end to a means, a means of pure evil.

i found Berne Brown's book a huge eye opener into what is really going on here. We are being split into factions because a world divided is a world ripe for conquest and control. 'They' accomplish this though shame, dehumanization, "Us vs Them", and seeding negative CLalt's through social media and MSM.