Reddit mentions of The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book

This was the best lesson I learned in therapy after a devastating breakup. Very few people have a fairy tale romance where it's all true love and everything is easy. If you're not actively choosing to be with your partner every day then it can go wrong quickly. You shouldn't want someone who NEEDS you, but someone who wants YOU.

It's cheesy as fuck but The Mastery of Love touches on this subject really well and makes it make sense.

Nice insight.

For anyone interested, I am currently reading Mastery of Love - A practical guide to the art of relationship . It is about precisely this topic. It focuses on being responsible for your half of the relationship, picking a partner, and living your life through love rather than fear.

It also looks at it from the perspective of any relationship, not just romantic, though it does focus a lot on romantic partnership.

It has been really eye opening for me

Oh enough with the fake well-wishes ("I truly hope you eventually find the love for yourself") and pretentious bullshit...BUT you had to get the last word in ("but before I go..."). Here's the deal sister:

1. Sexy women don't cover themselves in fake cum / lotion (exhibit A).
   
2. Confident women don't spend Christmas defending themselves to people on the internet (nor post nude pics of themselves on the internet to validate their sexiness, see point #1).
   
3. Strong women post on FCJ and fittit.
   
   Looks like you're also 0 for 3. Get off your equally-insecure high horse and shut the fuck up. You judged a woman by calling her ugly and started opening your mouth without any basis to do so whatsoever. I would suggest taking some of your Christmas gift card money and putting that into some self-love yourself; might I suggest The Mastery of Love which I've read multiple times and is truly an eye-opener for those looking for introspection and self-healing.
   
   Seriously, that book is awesome.

I disagree, tell people you're not interested in it. Be straight up, don't try to lie, if people want to pressure you then they don't deserve your time. If the person respects you, then they won't try to pressure you.. If they respect you, they won't try to change who you are.

This does take some explaining to them though.

For me I tell people, "I appreciate the invite. I'm not really into parties, but it doesn't mean I don't think you shouldn't or can't have fun at them, they just aren't for me. I'm an introvert. Large groups make me anxious and I feel too drained from them. I'm down with smaller groups though, so let's go to a park, or go long boarding some time. Hell we can even go skydiving."

There's nothing wrong with you, don't feel bad about not liking parties. I spend most of my time alone, that's when I'm most comfortable and most happy. Learn to love yourself, and know it's ok to be different from people.

The following books were really great for me to start accepting myself for who I am and to learn to love myself.


Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0307352153/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1462836332&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=quiet+the+power+of+introverts+in+a+world+that+can%27t+stop+talking&dpPl=1&dpID=41m0N7IIcsL&ref=plSrch


Mastery of love is specifically about relationships, but you should keep in mind you also have a relationship with yourself as well.

http://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec/dp/1878424424

i recommend reading the mastery of love, it book mainly focusing on loving yourself, but this isn't one of those self help books, its about being aware of that you are only person who can fulfill yourself, and avoid "emotional poison" (ex: i need a girlfriend, everyone is getting laid, i am lonely) all that is just poison and getting a girlfriend will not fulfill that at all.
http://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec/dp/1878424424

Hi, I was/slightly am the same way. But ask, why? how does this help you? what good does it do to be so hard on yourself? who are you trying to prove things to? Just accept that you suck at a lot of things and you are good in a lot of things, you just see the crappy things in a much bigger light than the good things. But this is what makes you, you, a unique and wonderful person. You are an awesome person and all the negative stuff you say to yourself is simply not true, you are living in a world where you constantly lie to yourself saying that you are "Undeserving, unlovable, worthless, unattractive, invisible." All of that is complete BS, its just hard to accept that it is BS because you've been telling it to yourself for such a long time so it seems like it is reality, but let me tell you it is not. I don't even know you but I think you are an awesome person that can get anything they want. Open your heart to love and just accept that you are who you are and love yourself for being you, with negatives and all. You changing will not come over night, you just simply gotta keep your head up and keep on doing it day in and day out. Look over your inspirations over and over and just keep at it. My journey has taken 2 years now fyi, I am too 26M and in the same boat as you.

I also really recommend the book The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book
http://www.amazon.com/The-Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship/dp/1878424424

It really helped me to see the world in love rather than negativity.

I'm about 10 years older than you, and I'm still learning this, but here goes:

Only you can make you happy and fulfilled. Only. You. If you place that job in the hands of anyone else, you will end up disappointed. My SO taught me this; I really didn't get it before I met him. It's my job to make me happy; it's his job to make him happy. This way we can give our best selves to one another, not some mess to fix up.

Your boyfriend gets to be who he is. You can voice your opinions, and he can choose to compromise with you (i.e. not jerk off to your friend's photos) and adjust his behaviour accordingly. But ultimately you get to either accept him for who he is, or don't be with him. It's really that simple. You can't control another person's behaviour.

I strongly recommend you turn inward and grow from this, regardless of the outcome of your current relationship. It will only strengthen your future relationships. A couple of good reads that helped me a lot: The Mastery of Love and Love, Freedom, Aloneness.

Lastly, while it's obviously not OK for him to say what he said with regards to wanting to fuck your friend and that she's hotter than you, I can understand saying stupid shit in the heat of the moment. I've certainly said things in past relationships out of anger that I didn't mean. Have you? It's definitely possible he didn't mean what he said, and that he really is sorry.

edit: fixed a link

Relationships are about sharing, you cannot make anyone else happy etc etc. The book titled The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz goes into this concept in depth for those interested in a better explanation.

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't felt very motivated. I have went through the exact same thing last semester. It brought me down, I was uncertain about my future and my life.
One thing about that voice inside your head is that it's just an opinion. It's just a thought, that isn't really you. You control your thoughts and emotions. It does take time to get in control of those and you have to build your willpower.
A quote from Tony Robbins that I absolutely love is: "Stay in your head, you're dead." This means that if you live inside your head and listen to that voice, it will only bring you down.
How can you get out of the state you're in? A few helpful things I have done are writing in a journal. Get your thoughts down on paper or type them. Along with that, you have to create a vision for your future. What do you want to accomplish in 3 years? Having something to look forward to is something that will bring you up. Another thing I would recommend is be impeccable with your word. If you say you are going to do something then do it. Personally, I told myself I was going to meditate every day this year and workout at least 4 days a week. So far I have a streak of 21 days of meditation and I workout 6 days a week.
So what I recommend to you is figure out something that is manageable and do it. Every single day. Make time for it and do not make excuses on why you can't do it. The more you do it, the easier it will be. In turn, you will build your willpower (motivation).
I would also consider beginning to read 30 minutes a day. A couple books I recommend are:
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book https://www.amazon.com/dp/1878424424/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_AsoGyb81P1JBR
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms https://www.amazon.com/dp/1623367085/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_itoGybQQ6CJ36

The biggest thing you have to know is that you have to take action to build motivation. If you do not take action, you will continue to feel as you do now. The only person that can get you out of the state you are in is you. I believe you can do it, now all we need is for you to believe you can also! Good luck my friend!