Reddit mentions: The best religious humor books

EDIT: Had some time to A. Wake up, and B. Get my shit organized.

So my first recommendation is to read these 3 books.

http://www.amazon.com/Relax-Its-Just-God-Religious/dp/1941932002/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452781395&sr=8-1&keywords=relax+it%27s+just+god

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814474268/ref=pd_sim_14_5?ie=UTF8&dpID=41mSJWJjhCL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR104%2C160_&refRID=136KZ8YRX0P0CY93EJGA

http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Reality-Dawkins-Richard-Hardcover/dp/B011SKFWNK/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1452781427&sr=1-2

These are all geared more towards the parents, but it sounds like that will be just as beneficial to you. I've worried about the same exact stuff you're worried about ever since my wife told me she was pregnant. These books have been a fantastic resource. The first 2 help you prepare for the inevitable questions (which it sounds like you're already getting) children ask in regards to our origins. There's nothing I can say here that will really improve upon what's contained in these books, so my #1 suggestion is to just pick them up and read them. "Relax, It's Just God" Is a quick read, so I'd probably start there.

I'll just say, for anyone that hasn't read them, or doesn't intend to, the most important thing I took from these books is this:

Please don't shield your children from religion. It's played an incredibly important role in the founding of civilization, and it continues to be a dominant force in society (particularly if you're in the US). By shielding your children from all things religion, they will have no defense against it when they are inevitably confronted with it. To a child, the easy answers and flimsy logic of religious dogma can seem persuasive. By refusing to talk about it, or not engaging them honestly in discussions about it, you're essentially sending them out into the world unarmed.

Now, once you've sort of amassed this collection of tips and strategies for talking about it with them, you need to build an understanding of the concepts that ACTUALLY govern our world. There's a lot of great resources out there nowadays that introduce complex things in a very approachable way. If your children are on the younger side, I'd recommend these books:

http://www.amazon.com/I-Wonder-Annaka-Harris/dp/1940051045/ref=pd_sim_sbs_14_5?ie=UTF8&dpID=51Xa9vh-4mL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=13A7B660SHNYNWGNRS9J

http://www.amazon.com/Our-Family-Tree-Evolution-Story/dp/0152017720/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=12ZKCH4ZP41R11J3AQC3

http://www.amazon.com/Older-than-The-Stars-Karen/dp/1570917884/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1NTGW8B5FNWYGW2MDDGP

I buy these 3 for every single one of our friends that has a child (provided I'm cognizant of their beliefs, wouldn't want to step on any toes)

I think one of the things religion has going for itself, that science and reason kind of lag behind in, is instilling a sense of wonder in people. It's easy for adults to marvel at things like quasars, black holes, the process of DNA replication, etc., etc., but it's a bit harder to instill that sense of wonder in kids without getting into some really dry science. That's why religion (in my opinion) is still so successful, it offers easy answers to really difficult questions, and doesn't really require you to think too hard on it. "I'm scared of dying" is easily answered by "Well don't worry, God loves you and will bring you to heaven with him."

There's also some great videos on youtube I'd recommend (though they vary a bit in regards to age appropriateness):

https://www.youtube.com/user/sciencestatedclearly (evolution)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rHUDWjR5gg&list=PL8dPuuaLjXtPAJr1ysd5yGIyiSFuh0mIL (Astronomy)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X56fBK1JlY&list=PLsmqeqKj7M-rZe1C9PUon8V-VQ1tZj5NF (evolution)


Kids, even very young kids, are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Knowledge of the way the world actually works is the best insulator against religious dogma, so give them as much as they can handle. When that kid at school tells them God created everything, instill values in your child that will lead them to ask "why" instead of just accepting that at face value. And if your child comes home and says, "Jimmy said god created the world" you can respond with, "Well yes, that's what Christianity says, do you know what Islam says? Hinduism? What about the Greek Myths, those are pretty cool huh? Most civilizations have a story about how everything got started, but none of them really agree with one another, and we've never been able to prove it. Scientifically we have a pretty good idea, but there's a few things we don't know yet, and that's perfectly fine. It's ok to say 'I don't know' when it comes to big complicated stuff like this. Let's see if we can't find out more! (insert books/videos/research here)"

My son is barely a month old, so I'm a ways off from a lot of these conversations, but I'm doing my best to prepare myself. I hope to teach him how to tell whether a source is reliable or not, how to be skeptical (particularly of those in power) and how to think critically, and not stop digging just because the answer he arrives at makes him feel better. Luckily, there's a plethora of information out there nowadays from secular sources that is geared towards people like you and me and our non-religious offspring.


EDIT: The other book I will recommend that's not a parenting book and isn't geared towards kids is "Your inner fish". There is a series of youtube videos based of the book if you prefer that. Basically, it makes evolution really cool, and in a way that (in my opinion) you can tell your children about easily. Things like why our skin is the way it is, why we look the way we do, etc. All stuff kids will probably ask.

I'm days late to the party but still wanted to reply.

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"All of them and none of them" is going to be ( albeit frustratingly ) your best answer haha!

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Like most philosophy its a bit like fine art... meant to be thought provoking yet very personally interpreted. The empty spaces between concepts laid out by words are where the real value is. So really you are trying to capture the 'accurate' feeling of those gaps, of that nothingness.

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Yet at the same time one of the best concepts from the Tao Te Ching is simply that if you can put it into words then it is not 'the eternal tao'. Really this means that it cannot be neatly defined by language. This makes the fact, that we require translations, to be less impactful on our attempts to understand the text.

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So I cannot answer you as you would like. But I can honestly say that this is because there really is not a best translation. I own many different copies and related works ( on mentoring, on parenting, on this on that etc etc ) simply because there is not a single best iteration.

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I have ended up favoring two copies both of which are actually 'illustrated' - but do not hate on illustrations! Since they are illustrated I leave them out in the open like coffee table book style. Over time I've grown fond of them and their particular translations. Worth noting, the illustrated aspect of both books came AFTER the translating work... as in these authors didn't set out to make pictures they set out to translate accurately first then after many years made illustrated versions.

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One is by Stephen Mitchell. He is a renown translator. His Book

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The other is by Man-Ho Kwok, Martin Palmer, Jay Ramsay w/ calligraphy by Kwok-Lap Chan. Link for convenience

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I also found this on Mentoring and this classic on Parenting to both be very good.

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Final thought. I wanted to address your direct inquiry honestly ( ie: cannot label a 'best' ) but also provide some specific works that I have found value in. I also want to make a final recommendation to learn about Taoist philosophy. The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet. Amazon Link to box set of the two.

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Those two books are excellent for the studied as well as the unfamiliar reader. They thoughtfully explain how Winnie the Pooh is almost a perfect representation of taoist principles and concepts. I found these two books to be a really great way for me to personally cement philosophical concepts to real world practice. Having to read and think about full situations ( even if cartoon ) really helped me to memorize practical take-aways.

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So in summary, the TL;DR is this...

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• No best translation. This is not bad though, the exact translation doesn't matter so much. Literally the first words in the Tao Te Ching are saying if you can use words to describe it accurately then you are not actually describing the Tao. So its a "feeling" you learn over time, not a definition you memorize succinctly
  
• On the Tao Te Ching - I highly recommend, since they are cheap and short, to obtain several copies. One copy I linked, by Man-Ho Kwok, has a 20 page intro which dives into detail and nuance of translating. I found this highly insightful which is why I recommend to learn about the translation process a bit.
  
• If you want to learn about Taoism in general ( just as recommended as reading the tao te ching ) then I recommend Tao of Pooh and Te of Piglet.
  
• I would also recommend to pick up related works like the one on Mentoring for example. Have kids? Get the parenting one too. Works such as these take the core principles of the Tao Te Ching and describe discuss and 'illustrate' their meaning for the reader. Thinking about these concepts in as many ways and situations in life as possible truly helps to further your understanding - and solidify the memories.
  
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  Whether you just want to explore a copy, or dive headfirst into The Way, I hope you can find some of this advice helpful!
  
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You can't ever truly buy back your health, so start the THRIVE diet as soon as you can and keep yourself in shape.

Skip relationships and any drugs that won't help regulate your behaviour. Jerking off is cheaper for now and not nearly as much time or effort.

Avoid spirituality and soul searching for now. The world's a fucked up place, sure, but everything will proceed with or without your special view on things. To truly know what's wrong with humanity, study humanity and it's approach. Future me note: You will fucking LOVE anthropology.

Focus on your craft, whether it's writing or drawing or acting or filmmaking or whatever. For instance writing: if you just brave through and write as much as you can every single day, by age 30 you'll have a good FORTY or more novels completed. Trust me, with forty products on Amazon you won't have to work a day. Nike, man, Nike. JUST FUCKING DO IT.

Save every penny now - you can buy all those shiny new video games and comic books when they're in the bargin bin.

Invest all that money into a giant pile, but for lord's sake in a Credit Union or a non bend-you-over bank.

Practice your craft to a degree that you can make money without a shitty dayjob.

If you study a new language every day, you will eventually know a shitton of languages.

After you've invested all the saved money and the well earned money into a pile, you no longer need to work as the money's compounded interest makes more money in a day than you can.

By age 30 you'll be independently wealth, healthy and fit, extremely happy, know a lot of languages, have perfected a craft, and have a lot of free time on hand: use this to acquire relationships with anyone you want and chase your own hobbies in the luxury of time.

...if I knew this list of things back then, if I KNEW the things I KNOW now: I would not be in the shithole condition I am now. "If gets better" only works if you make things better with your hard work.

It seems to me that looking at the historical claims of the Bible stories isn't quite getting you where you want to go.

I'd suggest starting with this book.

The Hard Evidence for God's Existence: A Comprehensive Guide by Dr. James T. Jenkins

Better yet [spoiler alert], save your time, the book above is 200 blank pages. And, it is 100% accurate. There is not a single shred of evidence for the existence of any gods or anything supernatural. It ain't for lack of searching. We've been searching for over 3000 years. Nothing. Literally, not one fucking thing.

That alone should convince you.

If that doesn't, try reading a whole lot of science books. The universe in which we live is completely inconsistent with the hypothesis that there is some god or other temporarily suspending the laws of physics every time some kid prays for his grandma to get better. (I don't mean to downplay kids hoping for their grandparents to get well. I am just pointing out that it doesn't work. At all.)

The prayer works hypothesis has in fact been scientifically tested and found to be actively false.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/no-prayer-prescription/

Further, the hypothesis that some perfect god or other designed us in his/her own image is ludicrous. Our bodies and brains are obvious kluges. They work quite well. But, they are far from perfect.

80% of us experience back pain at some point in our lives.

Ditto for knee pain, but I don't have the numbers.

These point to our recent evolution from knuckle-walking apes into bipedal apes. The so-called design just isn't structurally right for that.

Why do male mammals have nipples? Sure they might feel good. But, they serve no purpose. A perfect god, especially one who doesn't want us to enjoy sex would have omitted them.

Testicles. For evolutionary reasons, men's testes start out in our chests (not coincidentally where they are in fish) and must drop to our scrota (where they need to be for mammals to keep sperm at the right temperature). This leaves a cavity making males prone to hernias. Perfect? Nope.

Regarding our brains: Optical illusions, specifically those that continue to work even after you know the answer, point to failures of the parts of our brain to adequately communicate. Despite knowing that it's an illusion, your brain remains confused.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_optical_illusions

Neil deGrasse Tyson calls these "brain failures".

Gods? nope. If we're designed in some god's image, that god is anything but perfect. Hey god(s) want to borrow my back brace?

Hey man, really appreciate it! I probably will keep making a few little acoustic guitar/bass jams to blow off steam.

Thanks for your opinion on Pipes; it was extremely difficult to edit together, as I loathe the sound of my own voice, so it's great to get an opinion on it. It was a fun experiment, but some interesting developments have come about, and hopefully any new stories will be made into something a little bit bigger...

I'm always keen for someone to read more of my stuff though; I have written a novel, now a couple of years old and more of a fantasy rather than sci-fi direction. If you liked Pipes, and you like Terry Pratchett, maybe you'll enjoy it:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Go-Up-Simon-Broadbent/dp/1508800553

I think it makes sense in so far as it shows how God really is a human construct. As you read through the Bible, it's not God learning how to "be God", rather its the authors learning the popular way to portray God. This is way God is "all things" because the stories are written at different times to appeal to different people. Ergo, God is made up.

There's a book that is written using the concept you're describing. It's pretty funny!

The Story of God: A Biblical Comedy about Love (and Hate) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1634310772/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_MNFMDbPB75ZSG

You might enjoy Holy Bible - Best God Damned Version - Genesis: For atheists, agnostics, and fans of religious stupidity It lays out all the absurdity of the stories, including exposing the splicing together of the separate (sometimes competing) versions. It really illustrates how the editors of these early books had at their hand different traditions, but had to cobble them together without leaving anything out. Including the three times Moses went up Mount Sinai and how differently things worked out. For example, one time Moses got to meet and talk with God face to face like an old friend (Exodus 33:11). In the other version, God said to Moses no one can look at him without dying, but for Moses he'll make a special exception. God will show Moses holy arse as he passes by as the ultimate celestial celebrity (Exodus 33:20).

>I'd love to see an entire Bible Abridged in the style of your Book of Esther though lol. Leviticus would be fun. "Yo homeys, all this shit be wack:

Oh dear god, if there is a hell, I'm certainly headed to it for this but ask and ye shall receive. LOL! Not exact but close enough I think.

Here's another fun version

Have you read the book Relax, It's Just God: How and Why to Talk to Your Kids About Religion When You're Not Religious? In the book she talks about steps to take for kids in different age groups. One of the options is to tell them to tell others they aren't allowed to discuss private family matters like religion and church.

I never lie to my kids. Ever. I explain things to them like they're adults. Sometimes that means exposing them to uncomfortable topics. Other times that means teaching them to defer.

Also, have you looked into Jewish schools? Perhaps a Jesuit school? We faced the same issue when we were looking for schools, but we chose a montessori school in the end because they are non-religious and provide excellent education. We kept them there until they were middle school aged (and we made more money) then we moved them to a more exclusive private school (also secular) to take advantage of the networking opportunities.

Another option is to find a universalist unitarian church nearby and provide an answer they can use.

So good.

Also...if you like this comic, you’ll love:

https://www.amazon.com/Story-God-Biblical-Comedy-about/dp/1634310772/ref=nodl_

Do yourself a solid, and download the audiobook.

You’re welcome.

I would start with the classic Some mistakes of Moses, by Robert Ingersoll.

There is a short book called Why There Is No God: Simple Responses to 20 Common Arguments for the Existence of God, by Armin Navabi, that is also a nice read.

One that I recently finished reading and enjoyed very much is The Foundational Falsehoods of Creationism, by Aron Ra. The book is not exactly about atheism; it's Aron's rebuttal to many creationist arguments, but Aron is a widely known atheist activist, and the book is very enjoyable.

I usually listen to The Thinking Atheist podcast, from Seth Andrews (a podcast I highly recommend, by the way). There are some book he suggested in his podcast that I haven't read yet, but which I included in my to-read list:

• A Manual for Creating Atheists, by Peter Boghossian.
  
• God: The Most Unpleasant Character in All Fiction, by Dan Barker.
  
• [The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture] (https://www.amazon.com/God-Virus-Religion-Infects-Culture/dp/0970950519/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1486982921&sr=1-1&keywords=the+god+virus), by Darrel Ray.
  
• Sacred Cows: A Lighthearted Look at Belief and Tradition Around the World, by Seth Andrews himself.

https://www.amazon.com/101-Reasons-Glad-Wear-Hijab/dp/0988507021

http://www.101reasonshijab.com/store/p1/101_Reasons_Why_I%27m_Glad_I_Wear_Hijab%21_Paperback%2C_80_pp.html

Hahaha, oh its real. "Whoever said Muslim women can't be funny, religious, and relevant at the same time needs to read 101 reasons why I'm glad I wear hijab."

Women are totally smart and funny, get over it.

Do you write under the name "Jeffrey Petersen" cause the only thing that shows up under a Google search of that name are three amazon reviews under the name Jeffrey Petersen "Fantasy Writer".

I did see a Jeffrey S. Peterson on the Clarion write-a-thon. If that's you then howdy from another Clarionite (though I went to Clarion West.).

Or possibly you're [Jeff Peterson] (http://www.amazon.com/Against-Calvinism-Arguments-Disprove-Doctrines/dp/1453738967/ref=la_B0042ZD38K_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382402497&sr=1-1), in which case congrats on the non-fiction book publication, but I think OP, like most people in a creative writing degree, wants to write fiction (or possibly poetry).

Coffee warmer. This is less funny and more useful. Keep coffee hot at your desk all the time!

Awkward Family Photos

Nuns Having Fun Calendar

Read up on life n crucifizzle of Jizzle, creation of tha heavens n tha ghetto, Adam n Eve in tha weed garden of Eden, observing of Puff Puff Passover, Tower of Babel, n mo.

Includes 2 books of old testizzle - Genesizzle n Exodizzle n 1 of new testizzle - Tha Dope News Accordin 2 Matthew.
Chuuch. Preach. Tabernacle.

Contains strong language.

https://www.amazon.com/Tha-Holy-Bibizzle-Neffew-Moses/dp/1544259158

I love his stories. His books are highly recommended https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Worry-Be-Grumpy-Inspiring/dp/1614291675/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1500228414&sr=8-3&keywords=Ajahn+Brahm

[Old Charlie Farquharson's Testament: Jennysez to Jobe, and After Words]
(https://www.amazon.co.uk/Charlie-Farquharsons-Testament-Jennysez-After/dp/0771599013). It's not quite what you want, but pretty close - basically the first couple of books of the Bible put through the filter of a stereotypical Newfie. Couple of verses from Jobe, concerning the monsters mentioned above:

So you wanta put Me in the rong, jist so you can justyfie yerself. Lookit that monster, Bee-Hee-Moth. (FOOTNOTE: This is God's name fer a HyppyOptimus) Fackt is, I made him before I made you. What about Lee Vye-athan. (FOOTNOTE: Pet name for a crockydial.) I wuden advize you to try enny-thing with this feller!

I like that version. I will also have to check out the recommended X-Rated Bible. That sounds like a page turner.

Tao of Pooh and Te of Piglet might be a good start if you're interested in Taoist philosophy.

Someone is selling that for £999.11. And that's not with free delivery. Those nuns had better be having a whole lot of fun.

the Tao of Pooh was a surprisingly good book.

http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Pooh-Piglet-Boxed-Set/dp/014095144X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332330401&sr=8-1

Check this out. It's awesome, and it's only $.99.

For those who have not read it or heard about it, it is a hilarious riff of the BoM and Mormon culture.

Whole book available to read in the link, available as 99 cent download at amazon

http://www.amazon.com/The-Book-Zelph-Testament-ebook/dp/B009HKYXN4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370453513&sr=8-1&keywords=book+of+zelph

Here's a book that explains the mystical/spiritual/religious beliefs of Atheists. (Not the Christian one that refutes Atheism -- sooo much better. )

http://www.amazon.com/Atheist-Bible-Dr-f-Guider/dp/1499126360/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411517145&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Atheist+Bible+guider

Here are some books you may find useful:

https://www.amazon.com/Belief-Book-David-G-McAfee/dp/1908675314

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Gods-David-G-McAfee/dp/1533066760

https://www.amazon.com/Relax-Its-Just-God-Religious/dp/1941932002

https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814437419

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Freethinkers-Practical-Parenting-Beyond/dp/0814410960

I just hope they place this book next to it at all stores that carry such material.

like this one? lol its literally just blank inside

The Atheist Bible

I highly recommend this .

If you haven't seen them, you may like the Awkward Moments (not found in your average) Children's Bible series.

Is this available in the UK? I so want to buy this for my dad.....a vicar.

I always look out for 'father ted' type shit for him. A popular favourite is the Nuns Having Fun calendar

I like the Savvy Convert's Guide to Religion.

I recommend they use this as the course textbook: The Savvy Convert's Guide to Choosing a Religion

Sure, let me grab my Bible first.

https://www.amazon.com/Tha-Holy-Bibizzle-Neffew-Moses/dp/1544259158

Of course Amazon has it.

This is album cover material!

Also, potential fodder for the Nuns Having Fun calendar series. If you haven't checked them out, they're a hoot.

The source material is better.

I suggest the book, The X-Rated Bible. http://www.amazon.com/X-Rated-Bible-Irreverant-Survey-Scriptures/dp/0910309191/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368118303&sr=8-1&keywords=the+x+rated+bible

It's a survey of the tons of sexually inappropriate actions of the so called holy men of the Old and New Testament.

The Holy Bibizzle probably the closest your gonna get https://www.amazon.com/Tha-Holy-Bibizzle-Neffew-Moses/dp/1544259158

Behold! The Savvy Convert's Guide to Choosing a Religion.

http://www.amazon.com/Hard-Evidence-Gods-Existence-Comprehensive/dp/1483962393

This is the only Bible to be had: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1544259158/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501664003&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=Gangsta+Bible&dpPl=1&dpID=51zxGc7alAL&ref=plSrch

I prefer this one

http://www.amazon.com/Nuns-Having-2015-Wall-Calendar/dp/076117849X

My point is that it's an innate human drive to understand the metaphysical. I'm not trying to use that as a buzzword. It really, literally means things-transcending-science.

Some people want to explain those (metaphysical) things away to control you, other have stupid answers; some search within themselves, others in nature.

Religion is bigger and broader than what this nerd circlejerk sometimes makes it out to be. Read Mama Lola. Read about shamanism. Pick up a copy of the The Tao of Pooh, look up at the sky and think about everything you just plain don't understand.

Religion is necessary, just not for the reasons you might think. It will do us good to get rid of it as an institution, but it will stay with us as long as we're human.

Awkward Moments (not found in your average) Children's Bible - Vol. 1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00G1744GM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_.9rADb0M1VEY6

Section 4 of the Urantia Book.

I was a young adult, and very disillusioned with the kind of Christianity I was brought up with. I was an athiest, but I wasn't comfortable with my newfound atheism. I very angry that I thought I had been lied too for all those years. I thought that my Atheism was truth, and Christians were just a bunch of cowards that lied to themselves to provide a little comfort. This bloomed into a very obnoxious "You're at best an idiot, at worst a liar." type of attitude toward anyone that professed any type of belief in something. In short, I had become an elitist dick.

But also during this time, I found myself exploring the world's religions, including plenty of new age crap. I was reading stuff like The Tao of Pooh, A Path With Heart and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I experimented with meditation, played with I Ching and Tarot Cards. Losing my belief in God had left a festering dark spot in me that I subconsciously sought to fill.

I read the Urantia Book off an on over many years, mostly as entertainment, but eventually I gradually realized that I wasn't athiest anymore. I really believed in the Jesus portrayed in Section 4 of the UB. I found myself saying yes, yes this is what my God is like.