(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best books about personality disorders

I attended DBT through my mental health care provider. However, there are lots of online resources for DBT.

General overview of DBT, as presented by mind.
http://imgur.com/gallery/Zs92ICm


https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0BxbhXNkT67stRnFiUXhNYW1iRVE (this link has lots of mental health resources, but to get specifically to DBT, look in the folder marked "Treatment, Therapy, and Medication.")

https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-dialectical-behavior-therapy-skills-workbook-e19134904.html (the link to purchase this book is below)

https://behavioraltech.org/resources/resources-for-clients-families/

www.mind.org.uk

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

http://www.middle-path.org/

There's also YouTube videos (this playlist is good: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb51Q732nMqeTJp05TQsE3YkCCY6p6_FS) (or search for DBT skills and/or Marsha Linehan).

On Pinterest at: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pinterest.com/amp/pin/231583605811059286/

You can also order the books online.

This is the book linked earlier in the thread.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and ... (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D8UWM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_1dd4CbN7T7HD3

This is the manual/workbook that I have. DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SVCMRCI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_sed4CbJ4D3F5Q

This is the clinical training manual my DBt therapists use. DBT® Skills Training Manual, Second Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462516998/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Yed4Cb430ZATG

There are also Facebook peer support pages and groups.

https://m.facebook.com/ilovedbt/

https://m.facebook.com/groups/dbtskills/?ref=group_header&view=group

If you're wanting to go at it alone, finding someone who has already been through it to guide and with you might be a lot more helpful. I am available anytime to answer questions and help someone start. I've been through the DBT "cycle" almost 3 times now, because the facility I attend does not currently offer "maintenance level" support. I also enjoy the feeling of support and camaraderie.

In the beginning, DBT can seem stupid, confusing, redundant, or even silly. Stick with it. Do your homework if you're in a group. Do a diary card daily, even in the beginning, even if you don't get it. If you're not in a group but have a peer counselor, ask for homework!

Hope this helps!

Edit: thank you for the platinum! What an honor.

If I recall correctly, I read on a book that they tested Mescaline and LSD in conjunction with therapy, for BPD but the study didn't show any improvement on therapy, or even worsened the symptoms.

If her father has schizophrenia, which is a genetic disorder, psychedelics and other similar drugs such as MDMA, and even cannabis should be completely out of question. Anyway, mind that drugs didn't make her father become a schizophrenic, it only triggered latent schizophrenia - he would probably become one sooner or later.

Personally, I've experienced a great deal of personal growth with psychedelics (LSD, 25i-NBOMe, 25c-NBOMe, DMT, 2C-E, 2C-B) and MDMA. In the long run, it had a positive effect on my BPD because it allowed me to learn a lot about emotions, perceptions, meditation and to accept myself for who I am; I'm much calmer now. In the short run, it took me about 6 months to integrate all the experiences, there were days that I couldn't think about anything else besides suicide and I also experienced strong dissociation, depersonalization and derealization. I don't use them anymore.

Going back to your SO, psychedelics aren't for her. I assume she will get the same (or better) positive effects with meditation, it will only take some more effort, but the effects can be quite similar. Yesterday, for the first time, I experienced a bit of ego death with meditation, which is what you get on the peak of a strong psychedelic experience. It was amazing!

Anyway, if you want I can search for the paragraph about the study I told you about tomorrow.

Edit: found the excerpt. It is from this book, and I have it in PDF if you want.

Hey there!

One of the things that really helped me with my BPD when it is at its peek is reading about mindfulness and breathing exercises. It doesnt really apply tp specific symptoms but it is generally good advice for people who become overwhelmed by emotions.

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Aside from that, here are two books that help with exploration of BPD and a good workbook for a type of therapy that is used to treat BPD symptoms.

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https://www.amazon.com/Rough-Diamonds-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1500868957

https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-dialectical-behavior-therapy-skills-workbook-e19134904.html

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Hope this helps :)

I'd love to give a good book recc, but most of the literature is kind of a chore. By far the best resource I've found is this dissertation. Really really thorough and well indexed:

https://search.proquest.com/openview/10cb591b9eb8147e5881ffc5bb279e66/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y

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This is the best of the books IMO, but not one you'd really want to buy:

https://www.amazon.com/Disorders-Self-M-D-James-Masterson/dp/1138883743

Checking the site u/jagreenday linked and sorting with her insurance would be best. I would also recommend you contact the best options and explain financial situation, sometimes they would offer reduced rate. A university in the area might have DBT therapy or groups led by people in training.

Other than that, workbooks can be effective, especially with others to practice with, if she is willing to commit some effort. These 2 are popular: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook-ebook/dp/B0041D8UWM/ and https://www.amazon.com/Skills-Training-Handouts-Worksheets-Second-ebook/dp/B00SVCMRCI/

Might I recommend this book! Its called Jekyll on Trial: Multiple Personality and Criminal Law by Elyn Saks

https://www.amazon.com/Jekyll-Trial-Multiple-Personality-Disorder/dp/0814797644/ref=mp_s_a_1_1/144-8101392-0225552?ie=UTF8&qid=1542156254&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=saks+multiple+personality&dpPl=1&dpID=5125x7XRVEL&ref=plSrch

Its thick but fascinating. Elyn Saks is a renowned individual who has studied DID and law a great deal. She also wrote The Center Cannot Hold, which is her personal story of her life with schizophrenia. Its rough but its so hopeful. She's very well educated and inspiring.

I read an interesting book

There's a 2x2 grid of win/lose for each of you.

He'll only tolerate win/win and win/you lose.

As soon as he can perceive you're slipping he'll head back for win/you lose.

He doesn't actually give a shit about what minor changes you want him to make (he doesn't want to make them for himself, he doesn't want to make them because you've asked and it will make you happy, like a normal person).

"Putting in effort" and fulfilling any of your wants/needs sounds awful to narcs, that's a Lose/Win for you!

But he wants to win (control of you) and it just looks like you're winning. His natural state is Do Nothing, and that Makes You Lose.

Good luck trying to manipulate a narc though! Being awful is as easy as breathing for them. All you'll get from 'playing' is mind-fucked.

In a nutshell, DBT therapy is a tailored program that was developed by Marsha Linehan (who had BPD as a youth) It teaches you skills in order to deal / cope with intense emotions that lead to impulsive behavior (ie: self injury, gambling, binge eating, risky sex, dangerous driving, reckless spending, etc) These skills are helpful for anyone who has intense emotions that lead to self destructive behavior and help you not escalate.

The core skill that is taught through the program is mindfulness. All that is, is being aware. Knowing what you're doing. Noticing that you might be making things worse, or noticing that your environment isn't that healthy. Mindfulness helps you stay in the here and now and is taught in some form in each class (or should be.)

Other skills taught deal with emotion regulation (not making things worse), interpersonal relationships (dealing with people), and dialectics (in that.. something can be multisided. ie: you can have a bad experience AND you can take something good away from that)

Usually DBT is taught in a group setting but may also be taught one on one. The groups last anywhere from 12 weeks (which really is too brief unless it's an intesive daily course) for up to a year. The group dynamic can be helpful in that you learn how others handle the issues they encounter.

Diary cards are filled out daily in order to track your mood and pinpoint triggers. Diary cards also help you notice patterns of behavior. (ie: every day at 3pm I get miserable because I'm hungry and dinner is 3 hours away)

Hope that helps explain it. :)

You can check this link in order to help find a trained DBT therapist in your area (USA only I believe)

Or Marsha Linehans books, Worksheets / Handouts., Training Manual (mostly for therapists but it explains the concepts of DBT) or you can get The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook which is more inclusive with worksheets and concepts explained.

You belong on r/WeAreODD instead of here.

When you're a minor, and you have ASPD like traits, it's called Conduct Disorder (CD), or Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Only 25% of kids your age with CD/ODD traits grow up to have ASPD.

It's much more likely you'll grow out of it than that you'll grow up to be a sociopath.

I'm a female too. When I was your age, I spent 2 years in therapy, and it's probably saved my life. Get professional help any way you can. They will not judge you, they'll help. And your records as a minor are sealed.

You have 10 years before your brain is fully done growing. You CAN learn to control this to some degrees. You will be better off if you do. At your age, I had issues much greater than what you're describing and I lead a relatively normal life atm.

If you can't get your mom to allow you profession help start here and do the whole book. After you finish it, find other CBT and DBT books to do, it doesn't matter if they're fully applicable.

Anything geared towards b-cluster will help. But what you really need is therapy.

Regarding the habits, I would consider anything written by Doug Woods. Habit Reversal Training is a wonderful treatment strategy for trichotillomania and various other habits. I find this book to be clinically useful.
https://www.amazon.com/Disorders-Trichotillomania-Other-Repetitive-Behavior/dp/0387325662/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520123023&sr=1-4-fkmr0&keywords=trichotillomania+doug+woods

As a new psychologist, I would find myself reading various books and watching videos as much as I could on topics of interest. You will find that you will gravitate towards a theory of human behavior and how to manage and treat common skill problems in your targeted population. I think the most important thing that will help you is coming up with with your personal theory of "why we do what we do" and what "maintains behavior". That will undoubtedly lead to easy to comprehend treatments for you and your clients.

I'm both bipolar 2 and diagnosed with BPD. You can have both, and many people do. Without treating the bipolar symptoms, it was really hard for me to see the difference between the two, but now I can tell which condition guides which behaviors for me.

I don't think "rationalizing" is something most people with BPD really do... It's more like feeling completely out of control emotionally, and just not knowing how to cope with the aftermath. I could see some people rationalizing, but it's not a marked trait of the condition. Be careful with what you hear on this subreddit. Many people seem very misinformed.

Thing is, no-one wants to have BPD, that's for sure. People with it are highly stigmatized. It's a condition that's very hard to accept. I find that a lot of my recovery involves stepping on my pride and accepting responsibility for various parts of my life and actions I've taken. That's not exactly rationalizing. I always could relate to the condition, but it took me a while to really see whether or not it was me. I always knew my behaviors were bad.

My best advice: Read the book "sometimes I act crazy". It breaks down not only what people with BPD do, but WHY they do so. If you still relate to it after that, talk to your therapist. Book found here: http://www.amazon.com/Sometimes-Act-Crazy-Borderline-Personality/dp/0471792144/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335704955&sr=8-1

Caveat: I am neither a Zen adept nor a psychotherapist.

Perhaps this may shed some light:

" THE EXISTENTIAL SHIFT

The objective of all this work with the narcissistic style or borderline narcissist is to stop the frantic pursuit of the self in activity and accomplishment and shift to that moment when one experiences the reality of one's existence in the present. That moment is the entry to the real self. A good therapist, seasoned by experience or blessed with intuition, seizes that moment to touch the patient at his core. Through recognition, empathy, or the sharing of the despair or simple beauty that emerges then, the therapist reinforces reality with human connection. By repeating this process again and again, the therapist helps the patient acquire a taste for and strengthen the natural propensity for attuned relationship. When that attunement is achieved in the moment, the false self has been demobilized..."

-from Ch. IV, Treatment of the False Self, in Humanizing the Narcissistic Style by Stephen M. Johnson, Ph.D., W.W. Norton, 1987

Well, now.

>stop the frantic pursuit of the self in activity and accomplishment and shift to that moment when one experiences the reality of one's existence in the present

Hm. Just so:

Is dharma combat (killing the Buddha) different from 'stop the frantic pursuit of the self' ?

>Zen itself is sort of a path for people who are more self-oriented to begin with

in the case of a narcissist, maybe that's because they are sick of themselves and they hope this Zen poison, if they drink it, will kill something they wish to be rid of. But they cannot take the step because then they fear they will be left with nothing. The narcissist has been staving off annihilation (the admission that they are hollow) their entire life. It's what drives the frantic, half-unconscious hostility against anyone who threatens true human contact. Truly, the narcissist confronting the Dharma is like a dog staring at a vat of boiling fat: it cannot eat, but it cannot walk away.

A MODEST PROPOSAL

What if OP is in a karmic circumstance which has led him to investigate Zen ?

What if OP is uniquely situated to strike his colleague with a board, point at the moon, or shout! in

>that moment when one experiences the reality of one's existence in the present. That moment is the entry to the real self

In my understanding, a narcissist constructs a false self to paper over the hole where his real self should be, and any threat to the false self, any possibility of unmasking the void will potentially expose the narcissist as being hollow, a shell of a human being with no center... that way lies madness - to be conscious of not having lost one's mind, but never having had one at all. Annihilation.

So... if Zen will free us from the monkey mind, is it possible for a narcissist to simply leapfrog over the intermediate therapeutic step of building a healthy ego (which is left behind in enlightenment anyway) and move straight from abandoning the monkey mind to the True Self ? We who practice Zen on the scaffold of an intact ego, can return to that scaffold when we are not sitting. What if the NPD is the same: something to be abandoned when a better option comes along?

I would be very interested to hear if anyone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder has ever caught a glimpse of their True Nature in sesshin, koan work, zazen, listening to teisho, etc. Has any poor wretch like that ever achieved a measure of peace and confidence from realizing that the struggle to avoid the emptiness behind their persona is simply beside the point ? What if enlightenment will relieve the existential dread and cause the NPD to drop off when the mind drops off?

What if the real leverage in this situation is for OP (appealing to the narcissist's need for admiration and perceived authority) to become his Zen student? What if, in teaching the OP, answering OP's exquisitely pointed questions about the Dharma, the narcissist will be forced to dig in - straight to the heart of Zen ?

What then ?


Admittedly, this is somewhat manipulative, Machiavellian, underhanded, tricky, etc., etc. That's why I like it so well. I guarantee it has an approximately 50/50 chance of success. It also will provide OP with at the very least, an amusing hobby when they pass in the hall, and give OP agency and self-efficacy which is often hard to come by when dealing with assholes in the workplace. If OP is sitting back, watching the narcissist wrestle with himself, pulling puppet strings with sly, plausibly innocent questions, and jerking the chain with cognitive dissonance, OP's not going to feel like he's a target anymore.

OP, what if you just sit back and let the dog make the decision about the boiling fat? Is it really your problem?

I finally realized the ideal book. It's Another Chance to be Real - I would recommend buying the hardcover, because you'll timelessly cherish it for decades to come. Google Books may have more to preview than Amazon however.

I'm reading "Sometimes I Act Crazy" right now and thought this passage might give you some comfort:

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"Trapped in a maze of inconsistent images, the borderline is unable to form a constant, predictable sense of self and the world; unlike the healthy child, the borderline is unable to establish a healthy object constancy -- a reliable, comforting, internalized image of her world -- that she can use to soothe herself in time of stress. Instead, she needs the presence of others to reassure and comfort her."

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The passage also has an anecdote about a woman named Arleen (who has BPD) where she is quoted to say, "I feel I really couldn't be myself without another person to reflect on."

If you want a neat look at how a narcissist thinks, my therapist lent me this book by James Masterson, who is like the pioneer of modern narcissism therapy/psychology. My therapist gave it to me cause I have a narc parent, but it was really interesting in its own right.

Check out this topic

You might also find these useful:

Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders, Third Edition / pdf

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Handbook of Diagnosis and Treatment of DSM-5 Personality Disorders: Assessment, Case Conceptualization, and Treatment, Third Edition / pdf

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Cognitive Behavior Therapy of DSM-IV-TR Personality Disorders: Highly Effective Interventions for the Most Common Personality Disorders, Second Edition / pdf

I was exactly like you 2 months ago - i know how you feel I also "just snapped" a couple times and i look back at the 100+ text messages and the 300 times in a row i tried to call him and was completely ignored - It just drives you to keep going and going like you think they are actually going to give in and talk to you but they don't - it is a pain like I have never felt before - especially when I had done nothing to deserve it - so please please don't subject yourself to doing it - read the books - also read this https://www.amazon.com/Start-Here-Understanding-Navigating-Narcissistic-ebook/dp/B076NSP79F/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1522789510&sr=8-3&keywords=dana+morningstar - this woman Dana Morningstar has a you tube page thrive after abuse - it has a ton of really good videos especially the 50 red flags series and she also does a live stream on wednesdays that you can ask her questions - very informative - this is what has helped me - if you ever need anyone to listen - I will - you are not crazy - he just made you think you were - I will validate your reality - you are not just a toy he got sick of playing with!!

Any therapist can diagnose schizoid. It's in the DSM.

If you want a decent therapist, you might as well try Ralph Klein. He wrote a really good book about it.

I'd suggest you read some Kernberg on tranference focused psychotherapy. Also, the book Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (Kernberg contributed to it) have some really interesting things on countertransference use in this context.

Edit: this book: Psychodynamic Therapy for Personality Pathology: Treating Self and Interpersonal Functioning https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1585624594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_SaGNDbPJRRB4T

I took my PhD in a part of the country that was characteristically conservative politically and religiously. Mention of evolution was quite often more trouble than it was worth, which is an absolute shame. We didn't even mention Darwin (who seemed to be quite confident that natural selection would be applied to psychology "In the distant future I see open fields for far more important researches. Psychology will be based on a new foundation, that of the necessary acquirement of each mental power and capacity by gradation. Light will be thrown on the origin of man and his history." C. R. Darwin On the Origin of Species, 1859 p.488) who gave us the single strongest theory in the history of science because people don't like it.

Because they don't like it.

I would recommend Exiles from Eden and Evolutionary Psychiatry for the clinical application.

I would also say that EP does not claim that humans are genetic automatons. We have a range of behaviors that helped us navigate our world, but, that world has changed quite a lot in the last few centuries/millennia, far too fast for the brain to have caught of with it.

If you approach treatments from the EP perspective you might try not so much to "fix" the problem as to put a person in a situation that is closer to their comfort zone.

Of course I'm overgeneralizing here. For one I really can't give you an overview of the whole field in 150 words. And second, I'm not a clinician or therapist. Take a look at those books, I suspect it will help.

Sorry about the delay, i would recommend either one of these assuming you have some basic knowledge. have fun!

https://www.amazon.com/Personality-Disorders-Modern-Theodore-Millon/dp/0471237345
https://www.amazon.com/Severe-Personality-Disorders-Psychotherapeutic-Strategies/dp/0300053495

Schizophrenia effects on group-splitting theory is discussed in the following good book.

Evolutionary-Psychiatry-second-New-Beginning

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me and Sometimes I Act Crazy are another couple of good books to read. Also, look for stuff by Marsha M. Linehan. She pioneered treating BPD with CBT/DBT. Might as well get info straight from the source.

I got an old copy on Amazon for shipping plus a few cents. https://www.amazon.com/Severe-Personality-Disorders-Psychotherapeutic-Strategies/dp/0300053495

>Gender is not biologically structured

Source: tumblr and some liberal arts professor.

Bullshit. Gender is a product of a specific behavioral center in the brain being conditioned by the balance of test and estrogen in utero. That's why real transgender people exist: sometimes the balance swings them in the direction that opposed their chromosomes.

My source: http://www.amazon.com/Evolutionary-Psychiatry-second-New-Beginning/dp/0415219795

dunno, but you can try medication, therapy. have you tried peppermint oil caps for bloating? and keeping a food diary?

this is a good work book for understanding and working thru problematic thoughts and moods with DBT:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SVCMRCI/