(Part 3) Reddit mentions: The best mental health books

Good for you!

I feel the same way. I've never been on birth control and will never be at any point in my life, unless there was an actual medical necessity and it was the only option. I decided that a few years ago after doing a lot of research on how birth control affects women's bodies. It's downright scary just how little legitimate research there is on a medication that is used by a third of all women in developed countries. But the little I could find convinced me that I'm not going to mess with that. It's not just things like weight gain, mood swings or lower libido - many of those effects are are lot more insidious and rarely known, and some even seem to be permanent.

I'm not against hormonal birth control on the whole, though, it's certainly a tremendous scientific achievement, very useful for many women, and to each their own. I just wish more women were better informed about the effects it has on their bodies, and more doctors were honest about them as well. Not all women experience negative effects, but if you did, quitting was definitely the right choice for your health and wellbeing.

I also wish more women actually had positive feelings about their menstrual cycles. I'm glad you're enjoying yours :) It's going to get better once your body adjusts. And the neat thing about natural menstrual cycle is that it can serve as a great litmus paper for general health. Whenever there's something wrong with my body, it always shows first with my period. If I eat a shitty diet, my periods get painful, and if my sleeping pattern becomes too irregular, the periods also get less regular. I kind of love it. And I get what you mean by "feeling more like a woman". Not to say that women who don't have menstrual cycles are not "real women", but for me personally, my reproductive system is the core of my femininity. Everything else - beauty standards, assigned personality traits or even most gender roles, etc, are mostly cultural, but menstrual cycle and reproductive abilities are the most defining feature of the female body.

I really recommend looking up Fertility Awareness method. It's mostly used for women trying to conceive, but with the combination of condoms and/or pullout, it can be quite effectively used for contraception as well. There's certainly a learning curve, and you'd have to track your cycle for at least six months to see if it's regular enough and know all the patterns in detail, but if you err on the safe side (using a barrier for more days around ovulation than the recommended 5-7), it can be pretty much 100% effective. The plus side - no artificial hormones, and you can have "bare" sex on a number of days of your cycle, and you get to truly know your own body and how it operates, become more "in tune" with yourself, etc. It takes more effort than other birth control methods, but it's also more rewarding - you really start feeling like you're "taking charge of your fertility" (that's what this book is named, and very aptly, I think; one of the best resources about this method. And best of all, these days there are wearables that make tracking so much easier than having to manually take your temperature every morning at the exact same time (I couldn't do that because I never wake up at the same time). Check out Ava bracelet, it seems like the most advanced and promising one. Also Yono, TempDrop and OvuSense.

We did:

Four-week "comprehensive childbirth" class at our hospital, which I really liked and am glad I took. The instructors were all either nurses or former nurses at our hospital and were familiar with our hospital's policies and standard practices, so I now feel very comfortable with what might happen during our birth; also, it turns out our hospital is pretty awesome. It was also actually some nice bonding time with my husband, especially when we practiced having him coach me.

One night breastfeeding class, also at the hospital. Informative, but not necessarily anything I couldn't have learned on my own. It was good to hear about the breastfeeding support that my hospital offers, but I suspect I would have found out about all of that anyway during my stay.

Watched the DVD series Laugh and Learn about Childbirth. It was nice to have a second perspective, and there is so much to know about childbirth that there was material covered in the videos that wasn't covered in our class. The instructor has an interesting style which we found to be hit or miss, tonally, but overall it was a good use of time. We also have Laugh and Learn About Breastfeeding, but haven't watched it yet.

I also read (I've been to the library more in the past two months than in the previous two years...):

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (highly recommend; very empowering)
  
• Husband Coached Childbirth (The Bradley Method) (seemed a bit dated, even though it was an recent edition, and a bit "out-there" for me)
  
• The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence (recommend)
  
• Pregnancy Sucks: What to Do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable (a fun and quick read; more helpful for general pregnancy than labor and delivery)
  
• Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too! (also more helpful for general pregnancy)
  
  My husband is reading The Birth Partner, Third Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions, and likes it so far.
  
  I still have HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing; The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth (Sears Parenting Library); and Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds on my reading list. About three weeks to go; we'll see how far I get.

Seems like the phases could also be tying into your natural fertile phase? Quite common/normal for some women to be majorly aroused/turned on during ovulation and not so much the rest of their cycle? Obviously your condition may be more prominant than usual cycle but you're definitely not alone in cyclical arousal or arousal on phases (even if for different reason).

It might help to read more around energies/phases of a women's cycle as the things you have said about cleaning/work also tie in. For example check out here: https://naturalshaman.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/magic-of-menstrual-cycle.html?m=1 and https://www.amazon.co.uk/Red-Moon-Miranda-Gray/dp/1844266281

Learning to accept the phases (even if for you the phases are not directly hormonal but due to medical issue) might be beneficial. Explain to your bf the stages/cycles. They come/go, wax/wane and because you're going through a different phase does not mean you feel less for him but you just change through the phases. Sometimes sexuality is highly important and sometimes less so, but emphasise how it doesn't change your feelings for him or your relationship.

Maybe come up with a plan to spend a bit more quality time with each other when you're on your "down phase", just spending time and doing nice stuff that isn't sexual together?

Of course sex when you don't feel like it isn't advisable but would you be open to discussing pleasuring him during the phase when you don't feel like it yourself? But explain to him in advance that at that phase you don't feel like PIV so how about taking care of his needs in another way? Take some sexy pics when your in your "hot" phase and save to send to him during the "down" phase so he has something to pleasure himself with?

Sounds tough but with some good open communication and reassurance from you I'm sure he'll understand. Good luck!

Hypothalamic Amenorrhea is a combination of three things

1. Under-fueling
   
2. Stress (good, bad, physical, mental, etc)
   
3. Over-exercising (not only is it an obvious energy expenditure, but it also increases cortisol, which can be linked to HA)
   
   Any combination of these can lead to HA. Which is why someone that's anorexic can experience HA without exercising, or an athlete with a healthy relationship with food can also have HA. Every person is different as well, so some people can workout 7 days a week, twice a day, maintain a low body fat, and still not get HA. Others get it "more easily" (Not sure if that's the best wording?)
   
   ​
   
   Have you recovered from HA from last year? By that, I mean, have you had three consecutive periods and are you still getting them on a regular basis? If not, then I'd suggest eating more, and keep exercise reduced. If you have recovered, the suggestion is to usually introduce exercise slowly. Start with 2 days a week. See how your period reacts (does your cycle length remain the same? etc), then slowly bump it up to 3-5 days a week, or whatever your plan is. Just make sure your period remains steady (if you really wanted to, you could also use OPK (ovulation predictor kits) to make sure your luteal phase (the length of time after you ovulate until your period) remains consistent. A lot of people see a shortening of their luteal phase if they introduce exercise too much/too quickly and that can signal that HA is close to coming back, which would be a sign to back off on the exercise)
   
   
   And most importantly, EAT lots of food!
   
   ​
   
   If you're really curious, I found the book "No Period. Now What?" By Dr. Nicola Rinaldi to be a super helpful resource!

It sounds like the two of you have talked this through and made a decision. That's good. That itself should help your mental state.

Personally, I'm an information person. If something is changing in my life, I look it up. Internet, books, whatever. In this case, I recommend What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. They're pretty straightforward, and have information that will make you feel more informed and comfortable, help you decide what supplies you need and make decisions (breast or bottle, crib or bassinet, circumcision, etc.), as well give you little tidbits about how the baby's developing at each stage and how the mother's body changes (things she might have noticed but not thought to attribute to the pregnancy). If either of you is a worrier, I would recommend you skip the chapter on what could go wrong - every other page mentions the words "hemorrhage and die", and even though a complication that severe is incredibly rare, especially with good prenatal care, it might freak you out again. Personally, I read it, but that's just me.

Support each other, and keep communication very open. You need to be working together on this in every way. Keep in mind she may need physical support, as well as emotional. Morning sickness can be a bitch, or she may be tired all the time. Then again, she may get no symptoms. Every pregnancy is different - even for the same woman. You never know how she'll feel.

Find a good OB/GYN she's comfortable with. It's not fun being groped by and sharing intimate symptoms with someone you don't like. Find out what hospital to go to and if he'll be on call to deliver, and if not, who will be. Try to check the place out - some places offer maternity tours. Basically, plan enough and learn enough that you are as comfortable as possible with the process and confident that you know what you want. Be prepared to change your plan as necessary - it happens, and trust me, it's a significant part of parenting.

As for parenting - Be there for your kid. Spend time together talking, playing, and letting him or her know you love him. Learn to be patient, because you'll need it. Cover those, and you cover most of parenting. The rest is about teaching him to be the person you hope he'll be. Every parent starts with no experience and it's all on the job training, so your not at a disadvantage there. You'll learn as much from your kid as he'll learn from you.

Most importantly, don't worry so much! It will all fall into place, and you're in a much better place to deal with having a child than many. I realize that's futile advice, because even when it's planned, hell, even when it's planned and it's not your first, it's nerve-wracking. Pregnancy is like that. But the panic will subside, and you'll calm down tremendously once you realize that you can handle this - and you CAN handle this.

Congratulations, and good luck :)

From a historical perspective, birth in America was moved from home to hospital not as the result of evidence-based studies that proved it safer, but for social and economic reasons that are fascinating and too complex for me to take the time to write about here. Here's a great book on the subject. (BTW I am NOT advocating for homebirth, I'm just pointing out that the reason for the switch is really complex and interesting and had little to do with patient safety.)

It's interesting how much we want to cling onto the idea that the current status-quo of birth in America is the bees knees and how we give excuse after excuse why it can't be improved upon. When a woman's risk of cesarean is based significantly upon which hospital she chooses to birth, there's a systemic problem.

I'm fortunate to work with obstetricians, MFMs, and other CNMs who see the value in all specialties working as a team to achieve the best outcomes for our patients. My midwife partners and I provide care to all of the maternity patients in our practice, from the lowest to the highest risk, and in varying degrees of collaboration and co-management with our physician colleages. We're proud of our outcomes and I think the model can (and should) be expanded throughout the country.

People like to portray midwives as being completely anti-medicine/anti-doctor, and I agree there are some that are (usually not CNMs, though). I just implore the medical community to please consider that we can do better in the case of maternity care, and expanding the role of nurse-midwifery is part of that.

Congratulations! :)

I'm a Christian in medicine. This isn't a Reformed or even a Christian book, but it's a very good book that I think all parents with newborns should read: Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby's First Year. (There's also a sequel called Infant 411 for after your baby's first year.)

Baby 411 is written by a pediatrician based in Texas named Dr. Ari Brown. You don't have to read it cover to cover, but you can just use it as a reference book to answer medical and related questions you have as they come up with a newborn baby. It gets scary taking care of a newborn, especially as a father your inclination is toward your baby's protection and safety (e.g. is the baby's neck going to snap and break if I hold him or her this way, is the baby going to fit into this car seat, what if the baby's poo is this or that color, what if the baby isn't latching on well to feed), and tons of other questions like these will bring fears and anxieties. But this book will help alleviate a lot of that. In fact, Baby 411 and Infant 411 are so good that pediatricians (residents) are often required to read these books in their entirety before they begin their training in the hospital so that they can know how to advise parents with little ones.

Hope that helps, and congratulations again! :)

Um, it's been a few years, but if you're attracted to attachment parenting, the Sears book is okay for an introduction. I don't love it, but it's way better than "What to Expect". For more detail, I liked Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Penny Simkin. It covers a lot of ground. I found it very useful later in pregnancy, but it may be a bit too much info if you're still trying to get acclimated to the idea of pregnancy. I've heard great things about this book, but I never got around to reading it myself. If you have any interest in natural childbirth, Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth is a must-read (but you'll have to achieve a comfort level with the whole commune hippy thing, since that's where she's coming from). I don't know what else to throw out there now--- there are lots, lots of choices and it kind of depends on what your style is.

I think things have to change with malpractice insurance. It has to. We are losing MDs doing births at all because of this. Our cesarean rate is also rising - we are losing any resemblance to natural birth in the hospital. In fact, I hear the word "natural birth" to mean "vaginal birth".

Doctors are given lower malpractice premiums when they have higher cesarean rates. This is not acceptable!

We used to be shocked at Brazil's 95% cesarean rate. I think we're well on our way. In my community, 40% of first time moms have cesareans.

I hope that we can find inroads that are free from malpractice protocols that allow docs to collaborate with midwives for teaching, safety, and general empowerment of women. I see other countries doing it, but unfortunately, our healthcare and malpractice system does little to help this goal of mine. :(

Our maternal and infant mortality rates are dismal. And it's not because we're using less technology or interventions. It's because we're using more. I really recommend a book called Expecting Trouble: The Myth of Prenatal Care in America by Thomas Strong, MD. He's a third generation MD, second gen OB and he has some amazing insights. Mainly, leave high risk and surgical birth to OBs, turn all other care over to midwives for better outcomes...and look at technology more judiciously.

Other books I recommend are:

Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First by Marsden Wagner, MD

Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block

Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy

Lying In: A History of Childbirth in America

Above all, I wish that more providers would see that the motherbaby is one unit. They are not antagonists towards each other. Less intervention is better and if we could move towards more evidence-based practices we might see better outcomes.

Again, it all boils down to allowing doctors to practice freely. We have to see malpractice reform.

A friend got me the nursing mother's companion book for my shower and I referred to it frequently in the early days. If you know her size, nursing bras and tank tops come in pretty universal styles and I found I didn't have enough of those beforehand. Burlington coat factory surprisingly had a nice selection. Also nursing pads, lanolin, burp cloths, a nursing cover, a boppy or i preferred the my breast friend pillow . If she will be pumping, breast milk storage bags, a pumping bra. I used my pumping time to keep up with my 'happiness project one line a day journal,' which would be a nice gift for anyone. I snacked on a lot of breakfast/granola/trail mix bars in those days. Any quick and easy healthful snacks would be good. Drinks too - gotta stay hydrated!


Oh and don't forget we have to keep taking prenatals for as long as we breastfeed, so a bottle or two of prenatal vitamins would be wonderful!

My best friend made a box like this for my little sister, when she finally graduated high school. She included: Ramen, energy drinks, etc. My sister also adored, The Naked Roommate, which gives some great insight and hilarious stories about life in college.

(http://www.amazon.com/The-Naked-Roommate-Issues-College/dp/140225346X)

Um, a lot of freshman I knew in college had a fake ID. If you're her sister she could probably use an old one of yours, though I don't advocate underage drinking. I know it happens, so, its pretty much never gonna change. What else did I like in college? Those Command 3M hooks are pretty awesome for hanging things that you can remove at the end of the year. Also I liked having Christmas lights up for decorative lighting. Posters are nice, and I'd second the prepaid Visa suggestion. I also would suggest a second book (http://www.amazon.com/Our-Bodies-Ourselves-Pregnancy-Birth/dp/0743274865/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344122877&sr=1-3&keywords=our+bodies+ourselves) Our Bodies Ourselves which is kind of the end-all guide to adult women's health. It's an extensive guide for sexuality, medicine and nutrition, chock full of information. There's some really cheap copies out there, and it doesn't change a ton from one year to the next. I also got The Guide To Getting it On (http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Getting-Mostly-Wonderful-Adults/dp/1885535007/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344122976&sr=1-3&keywords=the+guide+to+getting+it+on) in college, and found it very informative. I can't think of too much else right now.

Dude, my wife is expecting too. 8 weeks give or take. Due may. Congrats to us all! I'm shit scared too, but just for a wile. Then I remember how awesome my wife is, and then it's ok. We've bought 2 books: The book of dad, and What to expect when you are expecting.

The dad one is very cool, funny, and witty etc...but true.

The expecting one is preety much "complete" on pregnancy and gives you a pretty good foundation. Read it with your GF.

Of course I don't know what's the terms between you and your GF, but if you at least pretend to be a good dad, the second one is a must and the first one is a lighter read on the subject.

Cheeers!

I'm so glad you're going to see a therapist. That should help. Also, if your son is at the 2nd percentile and he wasn't there before--in other words he isn't just naturally a tiny baby--please give yourself permission to give him formula. Combo feeding (formula and breastmilk) is what most women do and speaking from experience, it is great.

And for some women, breastfeeding itself prolongs the hormonal issues of post-pregnancy--in other words it prolongs postpartum depression and anxiety--so you might want to consider possibly going to all-formula, because babies need healthy, reasonably happy, sane mothers WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY more than they need breastmilk.

I drove myself nuts trying to give my twins all the breastmilk I could--a challenge because I had a massive postpartum hemorrhage, which messes with milk production--and I felt incredible guilt until my mom sent me a recent study that showed that all the supposed long-term health benefits of breastfeeding over formula are actually due to the fact that women who breastfeed tend to be in higher socioeconomic classes than women who exclusively formula-feed. It's called the discordant siblings study and it compared thousands of breastfed kids to their own siblings who were exclusively formula fed from day 1. They compared siblings in order to make sure that the kids had the same socioeconomic class/environment. Turns out absolutely NONE of the 11 health measures (obesity, asthma, etc.) showed an advantage for breastfeeding. Here's a link:
http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/sibbreast.htm

And I'm not knocking breastfeeding--it can be really lovely, and especially given how often newborns nurse, it's a lot easier than having to wash bottles and prepare formula for every single meal. I'm just saying that you are not required to breastfeed in order to count yourself as a good mom.

Best of luck with the therapist and everything. Oh, and PS, whenever you feel up to reading, you might find this book really helpful: "Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting"
https://www.amazon.com/Push-Back-Guilt-Natural-Parenting/dp/0062407341

Pregnancy:
Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn Penny Simkin, April Bolding, Ann Keppler, Janelle Durham, Janet Whalley. This book is great from conception to about 6 weeks. The chapters are short and to the point. Includes all types of birth plans and doesn't talk down about intervention. My husband loved this book because it includes pictures and descriptions of how he could help during labor. It gave him a plan and made him feel like he was positively contributing during labor. The section on newborn care is short, to the point and very helpful to new, overtired parents.

Baby:
Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start Magda Gerber, Allison Johnson. We tried attachment parenting for the first 6 months of our first baby's life and it did not fit with our personalities. I read about Respecting Infant Education(RIE) and Magda Gerber's approach and it seemed to fill all the holes that I felt attachment parenting was leaving in our lives. It helped us to connect with our baby on an emotional level while respecting his autonomy and individuality.

*Toddler:
1,2,3...The Toddler Years: A Practical Guide for Parents and Caregivers Irene Van der Zande . Short and sweet. Gives great practical adivice on setting limits and allowing your child to emote and empathizing, but not allowing harmful/bad behavior to occur/continue.

Janet Lansbury Is a great online resource for RIE.

Good, WTE sucks anyway.

Our body, ourselves the pregnancy edition is really good.
http://www.amazon.com/Our-Bodies-Ourselves-Pregnancy-Birth/dp/B001IV5W80/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334665215&sr=8-1

The Birth book
http://www.amazon.com/The-Birth-Book-Everything-Satisfying/dp/0316779075/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334665234&sr=1-1

I haven't read Ina May's books, but they should be pretty interesting (especially if you're interested in a more natural approach).

This is not a birth book per se, but it has amazing information. It may be better to wait until after delivery, though:
http://www.amazon.com/Birth-The-Surprising-History-Born/dp/0802143245/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334665328&sr=1-1

I really like Oxford's A Dictionary of First Names. It's mostly a list, like your standard book, but with better research and helpful lists of variants, plus a bit of info on different name categories and trends with the history behind them.

Laura Wattenberg is one of my favourite more casual, commercial baby name writers. She focuses primarily on the cultural aspect and I find her book "The Baby Name Wizard" is more insightful than most. It's very cognizant of trends but not too judgey. However it's very much a theme/style-grouping kind of book. I like that it shows popularity charts for each of the names.

Neither of these is great for OP's purposes but I figure I'll throw it out there in case it's useful to someone else.

I really recommend reading [Pushed: The painful truth about childbirth and modern maternity care by Jennifer Block] (http://www.amazon.com/Pushed-Painful-Childbirth-Modern-Maternity/dp/0738211664) before getting pregnant. It very important information that I think every American should know, but I can't even begin to imagine how horrifying it would be to read while pregnant.

I've also heard that its pretty hard to remember all of the information you need to if you start reading pregnancy books after you get pregnant because of pregnancy brain. So its a good idea to start reading books like [Our Bodies, Ourselves: pregnancy and birth] (http://www.amazon.com/Our-Bodies-Ourselves-Pregnancy-Birth/dp/0743274865/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382042400&sr=1-1&keywords=our+bodies+ourselves+pregnancy+and+birth) and [Pregnancy Childbirth and the Newborn] (http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Childbirth-Newborn-4th-Complete/dp/143917511X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382042460&sr=1-1&keywords=pregnancy+childbirth+and+the+newborn+the+complete+guide) so that you have a lot of foundational knowledge about what is going to happen. Then spend pregnancy reading positive birth stories so you can keep learning, but feel confident and happy.

I really liked this book: The Baby Name Wizard, Revised 3rd Edition: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby https://www.amazon.com/dp/0770436471/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_.xvMybKP5A34J

It gives some interesting ways to categorize names too. Like if there is a nickname you both like, it'll help you find a name for the shortened version. Or if you both like names that are similar (girlier, short and sweet etc) you can look through the list of other names like that.

Here is a concise list from the FDA of what types of fish are recommended while pregnant. Fish (low in mercury) is great for your baby's brain!

http://www.fda.gov/downloads/Food/FoodborneIllnessContaminants/Metals/UCM400358.pdf

FDA and Mayo Clinic are great sources for information on a variety of pregnancy-relates issues. All facts, no fluff like you'll find on commercial sites like "what to expect", the bump, etc.

I really like the book The Pregnant Body. It has amazing illustrations and information about what is going on with you and your baby. It doesn't tell you what to do like a lot of other pregnancy books. It just provides information.

https://www.amazon.com/Pregnant-Body-Book-DK/dp/0756675596

Your husband is a douchebag. Sorry. When he can carry and push a baby out of HIS hoo-ha, he can freakin' decide what birth he wants. His resistance/ambivalence to your plan/emotions/desires just really blows. If I were in your position, I'd be so effing pissed. It really doesn't matter what research your provide him. It is really easy to critique all research. If he's made up his mind and is deadset...well, what can you do?

Require that he read these two books:

• http://www.amazon.com/Childbirth-without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/0953096467/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1314615929&sr=8-3
  
  
• http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Coached-Childbirth-Fifth-Bradley-Natural/dp/055338516X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314616093&sr=1-2
  
  I had 2 of 3 of my girls at a free-standing birth center with a certified nurse midwife. I wish I had just used a certified midwife and had a homebirth. Yeah, my births were great. They could have been better. Birthing at home, IMO, would have been much more comfie.
  
  I had to have an emergency induction for my third because my water was low. There is a time and place for medicalization of the birth--and that time is when it becomes dangerous. Birth, itself, is not a dangerous process. I hated my hospital birth. I felt like goddamn prisoner. They had this two page checklist of tasks that they were requiring I complete before they would allow me to check out. What? Seriously? After I gave birth at the birth center, I was able to go climb into my own bed at home in two hours. And I delivered in what was supposedly the most baby-friendly maternity ward in the COUNTRY: Loma Linda University Medical Center. Jesus, if that is the most baby-friendly maternity ward in the country, the whole country has a long way to go. Yeah, sure, they do rooming-in; tons of free breastfeeding paraphernalia; and beautiful, spacious, private post-partum rooms, but there is so much more to birthing and bonding than that!
  
  My eldest daughter summed it up nicely when she asked me why a birthing friend chose to have her birth at a hospital, "Why is she going to the hospital? She's not sick."
  
  Also, my husband was on board with the midwife because his mother had completely safe births using midwives, also.
  
  Edited for formatting.

I just finished The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. It's all about how to think positively and without fear about birth and how to make it an experience you feel in control over. Feeling confident and in control boosts your oxytocin levels which are crucial during labour. Overall great resource for getting you pumped about giving birth, whatever form you choose.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1780664303/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Yanezb7YBMCT1

‘It Starts With The Egg’ should be mandatory reading for all women TTC. Highly recommend! It discusses CoQ10 in depth. Per the book, I ordered this brand from Amazon which has show success in human clinical trials:

Bio-Quinone Pharma Nord Q10 Gold... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000GY77TW?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Here’s a link to the book too: It Starts with the Egg: How the... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999676180?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Best of luck on your TTC journey! 🤗🥚

I don't dream about blood, but I have other dream "signals" at different times of the month, including right before I start bleeding. Everyone's cycle is different, but it's pretty cool that you have noticed this about yourself! If you're interested in more discussion like this, check out Red Moon by Miranda Gray

These are all great! I would also add Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting, by Dr. Amy Tuteur. It's like the opposite of Ina May, which just helped me balance out the idea of "natural childbirth" with the scientific obstetrics side. Those two are polar opposites but I find reading two starkly different opinions helpful in making up my mind.

Also, Mommy.LaborNurse on Instagram has a natural birth course that is $39 that I really liked. Follow her or just watch her stories and she frequently posts a link for 20% off.

It's easy to focus on the pregnancy and not what comes after (raising a kid for the rest of you life). After my daughter was born, on the first pediatrician visit, my wife asked if the doctor recommended any books, and she mentioned Baby 411. It's been a great book, and it's well written to help with any issue we've encountered. I wish we had bought it while my wife was pregnant.

Otherwise, be supportive to your wife in her pregnancy, and once you kid is born, take the time to participate equally.

GDM researcher here :)

Check out Dr. Eddie Ryan's website http://diabetes-pregnancy.ca

Dr. Ryan is a world leading expert in GDM and has dedicate his life to helping women manage GDM. He's also a really nice guy haha. Likes cycling.

Also read check out this book if you can: Real Food for Gestational Diabetes: An Effective Alternative to the Conventional Nutrition Approach https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00S33XOH2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LaMLzbXCZ4A7Z

I know this post is kind of old, but you should read “No Period, Now What?”. It discusses in depth the reasons you’re most likely missing your period, differences between PCOS and HA, and how to fix it. HA is super common in the female fitness world and often misdiagnosed as PCOS.

Book on Amazon $22

He Skyped with us directly. I don’t know if he communicates directly with other providers other than receiving direct reports of tests. My wife’s GYN has been very helpful and has performed many of the tests Dr. David ordered without any issue. The tests he orders we were able to find physicians to perform them with us (fertility clinic for me to retest sperm counts, Radiologist for my wife’s Fallopian tube test, her GYN for her neoplasm and special antibody blood test, and a regular lab for the other blood tests).

He is located in NY. He was part of the original group years ago that created the IVF process but he left about 15/20 years ago as he was dissatisfied with the practice’s push towards IVF only instead of trying to discover the underlying causes of a couple’s infertility. He has a book out that my wife found very helpful and then she contacted his office.

The book is: Making Babies

His office contact is http://www.drsamidavidmd.com/contact

If you do meet with him, he does require you to send him your prior test results and he will go over them with you. He has a very prescribed program. I suggest starting with the book.

Our fingers are crossed. Now that we have things lining up, we’re hopeful we can get pregnant soon. If it doesn’t happen in the next two cycles, we will need to stimulate my wife’s follicles with a trigger shot, but at least we know what we do now! The unknown is becoming known!

Sometimes emotional stress can affect our lovely lady parts! I'd recommend Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom for some interesting ideas about how to think about your health.

-signed, UTI/yeast frequent victim... ugh!! good luck!!

Amazon UK shopping list:

• Taking Charge of Your Fertility
  
• The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant
  
• Mabis BBT thermometer
  
• OPKs - I know you don't want to start them now, but for £3.99, you might as well get them while you have the chance!
  
  Get some prenatals too and a free membership of FertilityFriend and you'll be set!

I'm having a good time with Happiest Baby on the Block (though I think it's really slow and repetitive, and their "conclusions" (it isn't this, this, or this, so it MUST be this) are a bit, uh, presumptuous; I think the book is spot on for how to treat the baby, especially in the "4th trimester") and The Nursing Mother's Companion. And these aren't baby books, but my husband and I are also reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Birth Partner to prep for labor.

I have a few more books on my shelf to reference just in case, like Sears' The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (but I am wary of anti-vacc notions of the book), Brain Rules for Baby, and for fun, Experimenting with Babies.

I realize that everyone is different. And I was speaking from my own personal experience... surely that was apparent.

Also, there are plenty of methods that can help make the child bearing process easier. Half of the women that comprise my friends and family went into the birthing process with the preconception that the act of birthing a child was going to hurt. They had no choice in the matter. And this, simply isn't always the case. The other half of women that I connected with during my pregnancy were a few women who told me to a) read this book, and b) who told me that they went into the operating room with the mindset that they would have a relatively pain free birth. Most of these women had a much better way (in my opinion) of what child birth is actually like.

Totally understand the feeling, I was right there too. I had three failed pregnancies in four months -- seemed like I could get pregnant really easily, but nothing stuck. I ran a panel of tests (all negative), made a bunch of changes to try to improve egg quality (the book It Starts With the Egg was super helpful), and scheduled an appointment with an RE to figure out if there was something else going on. But by the time I could get in with the RE, I had already gotten pregnant a fourth time the very next cycle and was up to 8 weeks, so I ended up canceling. I'm 11w2d now, and still scared as hell that something will go wrong, but hopeful that the early miscarriages were just flukes, bad genetic luck. I know that chemicals are so, so common, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier. Wishing you luck!

The Positive Birth Book UK based, but it's awesome!

I got one called 40-ish weeks that seems pretty good so far. It's not overly tacky and is kinda fun.
https://www.amazon.ca/40ish-Weeks-Pregnancy-Kate-Pocrass/dp/1452139156

According to the book Making Babies, the recommended vitamins for men are around:

5000IU Vit A (beta carotene)
1.2-1.5mg Vit B1 (thiamine)
1.3mg Vit B2 (riboflavin)
5mg Vit B5 (pantothenic acid)
50mg Vit B6
400mg Folic Acid
100mcg Vit B12
500-1000mcg Vit C
800-1000IU Vit D
400IU Vit E (d-alpha-tocaphenol)
250-300mg Calcium
2mg Copper
2mg Iron
250-500mg Magnesium
1-2mg Manganese
50-100mcg Selenium
50mg Zinc

We were able to find most of this covered in the generic CVS Men's daily vitamin, but I'm sure there are better options!

You should get him these

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0199781559/ref=pd_aw_sbs_5?pi=SL500_SY115&simLd=1

^ this talks about how men became the stereotypical brawny man.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0553386735/ref=pd_aw_sbs_4?pi=SL500_SY115&simLd=1

^ this talks about women's bodies and the changes they go through (I'm thinking of getting this for me)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1570628122/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1417541607&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SY200_QL40


^^^ especially this last one talks about how to have meaning fun relationships



My fiancé says: get him a dildo he'll be happy.

I'd recommend Lily Nichol's book Real Food for Gestational Diabetes

I don't have GD but I loved her book Real Food for Pregnancy.

I think that PCOS is one of those "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" disorders. The actual causes are somewhat of a mystery right now. I've gone back and forth on what I want to blame for why I developed PCOS, but the important thing is understanding how our hormones function (or dysfunction lol) and how we can have a bit of control over them. What we eat is definitely as important as how much we eat.

I don't know of readings specific to PCOS but a book on hormones in general is really helpful. One that helped me was "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom." The author is a doctor but also has a down to earth/motherly approach to understanding our bodies.

https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Bodies-Wisdom-Revised-Emotional/dp/0553386735

I'm currently reading this book about guilt over c-sections / choosing not to breastfeed.

I think you'd really like it. It's called Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting.

the tl:dr of it is that as long as you and the baby come out alive and you're happy there is very little difference between the outcomes of babies who are delivered vaginally vs. c-section. or Breastfed or formula fed. There is no honour in suffering needlessly if you don't want to.

If you're looking for a gift that pertains to her pregnancy, get her some Preggie Pops for morning sickness & The Business of Being Born. If you're interested in getting her some books, I suggest Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and/or Pregnancy Childbirth & The Newborn. And maybe consider getting your brother(?) a copy of The Birth Partner. I think every dad-to-be should read that book.

I've been reading a lot of books and these are a few of my favorites that I would highly recommend:

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
  
  
• Mindful Motherhood
  
  
• Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn

yes, i replied before i clicked

i suppose the name is inspired from
http://www.amazon.com/Childbirth-without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/0953096467

I got 40ish Weeks: A Pregnancy Journal by Kate Pocrass. I am kinda sucking at keeping up with it, but I think it is really cute!

I am going to read Making Babies and do an Amazon review (to link) and host a TFAB book club, where I will facilitate a discussion about it on an agreed upon date in TinyChat. I will be submitting a post today to invite people to join the book club.

https://www.amazon.com/40ish-Weeks-Pregnancy-Kate-Pocrass/dp/1452139156/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1497637149&sr=8-7&keywords=pregnancy+journal

I have this one and love it. It has a page for each day where I take notes on appointments/stats, symptoms, who we told, what size different apps say he is, etc. It also has a bunch of blank pages and pages with prompts (name ideas, who have you told, questions for OB, shopping list, etc).

The books are dumb. Sorry they're making you feel bad. Fortunately, pregnancy is not all that hard to understand, so arguably you don't need a book at all. If you want a book, I'd recommend The Pregnant Body Book, which is mostly glossy pictures of developing embryos and fetuses. I found it pretty cool.

As for TTC, you don't know you're infertile yet. If you turn out to be, try r/infertility. Since you have PCOS, you may need the help of a doctor, but I'm sure you already know that.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which describes in detail how changes in your cycle impact your body, allowing you to figure out your most fertile days.

Expecting Better, a book by a kick-ass economist. She goes through all the pregnancy recommendations and digs up the initial studies to say what the evidence actually says.

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn - just what it says on the tin

"All Joy and No Fun" and "Why Have Kids?" are interesting reads if you want to examine parenthood in American culture, but are less relevant for the TTC process.

The Pregnancy Body Book is so freaking cool. I'm so amazed by the pictures http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0756675596/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?qid=1371231532&sr=8-6&pi=SL75

Super science-y

Much better resource, IMO:
The Nursing Mother's Companion, 6th Edition: 25th Anniversary Edit... http://amzn.com/1558327207

I recommend the book Real Food for Gestational Diabetes to everyone I know with GD!

Have you thought about a birth plan? Actually making a plan for what the best/worst case scenario might ease some of your anxiety.

Otherwise, I used the Gentle Birth app/classes and I felt so much more reassured about labour (if you can, watch their youtube vids). Also I recommend the Positive Birth Book for just the stories, advice and sense of calm it gave me. I though labour was all screaming, pain, sweaty and horrible - as depicted by tv. But it can be 'nice' too. So it helped me change my view of that. Sure I could still end up in pain, sweaty and screaming but hopefully I'll have the tools/knowledge to cope.

I'm 8 weeks away from my EDD and I'm not freaking out as much as I thought I would.

The Nursing Mother's Companion has been recommended to me by several people, though I haven't read it yet. I have been reading the AAP's New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding, which is okay so far.

Hi

I highly recommend reading:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0091887585/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342604233&sr=8-1

http://www.tcoyf.com/

I have learnt so much from this book. My one regret is that I wish I'd been taught this years and years ago.

I'm not sure if you just want to complain (which is totally valid) or if you want actual advice, since we've struggled with names, too. If you just want to complain, ignore the next paragraph.

It's really hard for either of us to just generate a list of names we like, so we bought a book of baby names. We bought a dresser for the nursery that took forever to assemble (drawers were unassembled), so while one of us assembled the other would read through the book, and any name I/he didn't hate, we said out loud to the other person. If the other person didn't hate it either, it went on a long list that had about 40-50 names. We then separately made lists of 10-15 names that we liked best from the long list, and finally made a shorter list of names that we both had on our individual lists. We still haven't settled on a name, but we have it down to two!

If you’re looking to add supplements, I recommend reading It Starts with the Egg. However, there’s obviously no guarantee any of those supplements will get you pregnant faster.

I've loved The Pregnant Body Book. It's a gorgeously illustrated medical journal on the process of pregnancy written for the layman.

I haven't run into anything judgemental yet. The section on pain relief goes over how each option works, their benefits and risks without any value judgements. Granted they don't go into formula feeding much since the focus of the book is biology but when they do talk about it they go over the benefits, how formula is made to imitate the nutrients in breastmilk, and stress that "it is important that a mother is not made to feel guilty if she feeds her baby formula."

About the books: my midwife recommended Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn. It's exquisitely boring - reads just about like a high school health textbook - but very non-panicky and informative.

[Edit] Fixed the link

My favourite's so far have been:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

The Birth Book

Birthing from Within

and my husband is reading The Birth Partner

https://www.amazon.ca/Baby-Name-Wizard-Revised-3rd/dp/0770436471/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1/143-2650797-1059622?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Y1P4W0R96QM7B6DSCH6V

My friend's, which I didn't steal...

Oh, and this book helped a lot! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1558327207?pc_redir=1395275083&robot_redir=1

Type of giveaway (OPKs, HPTs, other): Book giveaway

Title: Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility

Willing to ship to (US only? other country? anywhere?): US only

Are we looking at the same cover? This woman does not look 75+ pounds overweight to me. She doesn't look overweight at all. https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Bodies-Wisdom-Revised-Emotional/dp/0553386735

I'd been worrying about this, too! I picked up this book, The Nursing Mother's Companion, and it's really answered a lot of my questions so far. (I know nothing about breastfeeding either)

You are NOT a bad mother.

I'm sorry you went through this struggle.

I'd encourage you to pick up Push Back by Dr Amy Tuteur if you're still struggling with guilt and anguish over not being about to breast feed. Low supply has been medically indicated as a biological (genetic marker) fact--5% of mothers cannot produce enough milk to nourish a child. Here's her letter to mothers struggling to breastfeed

Please don't beat yourself up over this. You are a great mom!