Reddit mentions of Ego Is the Enemy

>(Not sure why so underrated)

It's because this kind of advice has been given before. To be successful you have to accept that you're not the most important person in the world. You're not a special snowflake with special problems. Everyone has an area of life that they wish they were better at. Accept that you may be lacking, but understand that you can improve and seek to do so in a humble way. This is how you keep your ego in check.

If you want a deeper look into it give Ryan Holiday's book a read. Ego is The Enemy It's amazing.


His other book, "The Obstacle is The Way" is also an amazing piece of my collection and will show you that the world is filled with challenges and it's a great thing.

Amazon.com links provided:

1 The Slight Edge

2 Mastery

3 The 4-Hour Workweek

4 The Art of Power

5 Thinking, Fast, and Slow

6 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

7 The Power of Now

8 The Power of Habit

9 Whatcha Gonna Do with That Duck?

10 The 48 Laws of Power

11 Your True Home

12 Ego Is the Enemy

13 The 4 Hour Body

14 The UltraMind Solution

15 The Dip

Seriously Chris I love you, but get this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Ego-Enemy-Ryan-Holiday/dp/1591847818

This might come across as a bit melodramatic. But...

It's not just a game. It's real life. It's real life in the sense that your emotions are real. Your frustration, your self-doubt, your despair at being mentally dominated by another person--all real. It hurts and it sucks, but writing it off as "just a game" won't help you.

You have an opportunity to improve yourself through chess. You can learn to deal with your feelings more effectively. You can learn to turn that frustration and rage into resolve. You can harness your ego.

There is a lot of good advice out there on improving at chess. You will have to put in the work, but you can do it.

Your efforts with chess may benefit you in ways you don't expect. We are all destined to be vanquished on many boards, real and imaginary, until our final defeat at the end of life. Might as well learn to deal with it.

In movie form:
https://youtu.be/D_Vg4uyYwEk?t=97

A good book:
https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Ryan-Holiday/dp/1591847818

Here's a link to his book on Amazon!

I work in the marketing industry and every attempt I've seen to make something "viral" or "big" has always failed miserably. If you think about it, this is not how news is made. In reality, the idea of ​​publicizing something suddenly changes too often, too quickly into an imposition that never arouses interest but rejection and makes one look like a religious preacher.

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The best example of how stoicism can regain attention are Ryan Holiday's works "The Obstacle Is the Way," "Ego Is the Enemy," and soon "Stillness Is the Key." As he describes in his book on marketing called "Perennial Seller" (I can highly recommend this book to anyone who can't get the question of this discussion out of his head) and his first podcast interview at the Tim Ferriss Show, no one ever wakes up in the middle of the night sweating and thinks: "I desperately need a 2000-year-old philosophy from the antiquity," but people can't fall to sleep in the evening, because of the thought: "I need a solution to my problems very quickly." That's why Ryan wrote a practical book with concrete lessons & advice and not a systemic essay on the philosophical "school" of the Stoics.

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It is said that stoicism is not the philosophy of the retired monk, but that of the worker in the marketplace; a person who wants to create things and pushes forward what concerns. At such places, Stoicism is really "taught". It's a practical philosophy which should be lived and shown by example in the work you do. And maybe after the work is done, you drink a beer with your colleagues and if the situation presents itself you tell them about the philosophy you're currently studying. This is how it reached popularity from the beginning, and it is how its representatives said how it was meant to be taught.

In the everyday business of the agency in which I work, topics related to stoicism often come up, as it does in any real workplace. If it seems helpful in solving the problem of the client, I give advice that I have learned while studying the Stoics, sometimes I even quote them. For me, these are the moments when philosophy comes alive and really leaves a lasting impression on people.

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What of course can happen then is that someone can be a stoic, but he does not know it, because he is more busy acting righteously than wondering what his lifestyle could be called. This leads to the fact that Stoicism is less proclaimed. But this is what distinguishes this school of thought from so many others and makes me appreciate it so much: the primary focus of it, is that ist LIVED more than talked.

If I were to be given the choice of whether everyone in the world should know what Stoicism is or whether everyone should act like a Stoic, I would always choose the latter.

​

I trust that the things beyond my control, such as my fellow men understanding that philosophical action is the groundwork of a good life, will fall into places. And in my opinion, there already have been "successes", if you want to call them like that:

Ryan's practical books on stoicism have sold hundreds of thousands of copies.

Here in Germany, the author Ferdinand von Schirach, who is currently being hold up as the most important writer in the country, quotes in his current work "Kaffee & Zigaretten" (English: "Coffee & Cigarets", not translated yet), which until last week was #1 on the Spiegel Bestsellerliste, Epictetus, provides background information to the life of the philosopher and tells of his first encounter with the "Enchiridion." In another work, he writes: "Marcus Aurelius says that the purpose of life is right action, and the secret of life is life itself. I doubt that a man can know more than that, for me this is all."

​

So in response to the question of this discussion, I would say that we should diligently fulfill our duties, do what needs to be done, and tackle the issues that are affecting us. In solving them, the teaching of the Stoics will show through by righteous action, inspire people and thus spread by itself.

Ego is the Enemy https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Ryan-Holiday/dp/1591847818

Might help to read this book Ego is the Enemy. Dude is not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or anything to do with Science. Hell, don't even buy his book, just find it online somewhere for free. The value of the book is that he talks about a lot of now famous and successful people, past and present, who went through similar issues, or who were in situations where they could've done something really, really regrettable and stupid. He talks about their failures and dark times, rather than their glories.

The reason is their anger, their ego that doesn't tolerate things happening any different than what it wants. Some are really hard hitting stories. Men in wars, or racially discriminated, women oppressed by the system, people who lost it all and then had to rebuild from scraps. And yet, somehow they persevered. Besides persistence in their work, the other crucial element was taming their ego, which is the source of anger, especially when young.

It took me a long time to calm myself. I used to lose my shit at your age too. Alienated a lot of people, and those relations are gone. There is no recovering that, but at least I can save me from myself.

It's crucial to know why you get angry. Why you demand that things be as you want, or feel irritated at how unfair life is. My anger became manageable when I accepted that others don't have to comply to my point of view. They can have opinions exactly opposite or even inimical to mine, and that's it. I won't let them sabotage my life (that's self assurance, lack of which can be a source of anger too), but I don't have to force them into my perspective, or feel frustrated if they don't agree. Hell, be here long enough, and you might get exhausted by the n number of times you'll lose your temper.

70 copies of this book. Keep one, read it, then give it away. Ego is the Enemy

Jacko is awesome.

I highly recommend Ego is the Enemy.
Here's my rough notes I made while reading, but you should read the whole thing. Essential reading, particularly if you're going into business.

Here you go

You can make 100 great points, but with an attitude like yours, you will undermine yourself and never make any progress. The trick to this is knowing when it isn't worth your time.

Here's a parting Norse Proverb for you to think about:

> “Brawl with a pig, and you’ll leave with his stink.”

One day at a time. One step at a time.

In the end, the only way to appreciate your progress is to stand on the edge of the hole you dug for yourself, look down inside of it, and smile fondly at the bloody claw prints that marked your journey up the walls.

Learn to talk, and how to see their perspective (this is a must read for everyone who is in any way a professional):

https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People-ebook/dp/B003WEAI4E

Recently I started also reading some books from McKinsey. Super great stuff. What I love about them is they really emphasise how to structure your thoughts, separate yourself from ideas, and to do what's best for the project.

https://www.amazon.com/McKinsey-Way-Ethan-Rasiel/dp/0070534489/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0070534489&pd_rd_r=YBVH0X91FMM7TK9XSYG5&pd_rd_w=AJ3XR&pd_rd_wg=8J07f&psc=1&refRID=YBVH0X91FMM7TK9XSYG5

https://www.amazon.com/McKinsey-Engagement-Powerful-Efficient-Effective/dp/0071497412


Finally, some of your trouble might be that they're questioning your "strategy". They might be right!
https://www.amazon.com/Good-Strategy-Bad-Difference-Matters/dp/0307886239

EDIT: one more actually, and this is NOT a must read, but for some of us... it can be. Some of us need to learn how to get over ourselves:
https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Ryan-Holiday/dp/1591847818

Ok /u/ACfireandiceDC, here goes:

I was diagnosed ADD a few years back after I read an account of someone describing their ADD symptoms on a Humans of New York post, of all things.

I read their life story and thought, shit, this sounds awfully relateable.

As soon as I was diagnosed, it became obvious I'd suffered since I was a child, and in-fact my Dad had, too - ADD is often genetic.

In being diagnosed, I was able to start better understanding why I acted in certain ways, and therefore able to start deploying strategies to navigate the challenges I faced.

This included starting on medication, initially Ritalin, but at this stage, I take Dextroamphetamine as I find it's much kinder to me later in the day during the 'crash' associated with amphetamine stimulant meds (note: the effects are entirely personal and vary greatly from person to person).

With hindsight, it's now obvious to me that ADD, and many other similar 'labels' are a general attempt to describe a group of symptoms that can range wildly from diagnosee to diagnosee - what I'm trying to say is that similar to Autism, I believe ADD and other similar disorders are sub-sets of a spectrum.

In my case, and by that I mean my individual 'genetic' traits which are associated with ADD, I suffer from the following things:

• Performance anxiety/perfectionism
  
• Extreme procrastination
  
• Difficulty focusing
  
• Problems with timings and organisation
  
  There are probably a few more I could squeeze in, but for the most part that's my slice of cake.
  
  Now, at this stage of the game, a few years into the diagnosis, I've spent much time and effort reading books, studies, anecdotes and so forth which have lead me to some interesting conclusions (that I have no doubt will continue to evolve):
  
  Overall, I think most of my symptoms are a manifestation of a type of anxiety, not dissimilar to what I imagine you experience with OCD.
  
  As a designer, if I can't get something 100% spot on within my own idea of 'perfect', I'll quickly end up grinding to a halt and giving up.
  
  Likewise, if I mess up a deadline early on, I'll lose all ability to continue, instead, becoming stuck in a bottomless pit of self-loathing and procrastination.
  
  My point is, I can trace most of my symptoms back to this type of 'anxiety'.
  
  I think, in many ways, this stems back to a conflict between my self-image and the reality of productivity requiring the suspension of 'perfection' in order to get things done.
  
  What I mean is: in my head, I want everything I do to be perfect because my ego constantly tells itself that it's special and unlike everyone else - when I look around, I see everyone elses work that seems mediocore and average, and I 'know' that I am capable of so much better, but then when I am working on something, as soon as I faulter and begin to struggle to get it 'just right', I am no longer capable of working and the procastination sets in - perhaps just a sub-conscious defense mechanism against the realisation that I, too, am mortal, and not as 'perfect' as my ego so desperately needs me to be - a form of cognitive disonance.
  
  As a side note, I've often wondered if this insecurity stemmed from my parents, or perhaps from bullying during my formative years - a question I fully intend on getting to the bottom of as soon as I can afford to see a professional.
  
  With this realisation under my belt, I've slowly but surely been able to make great strides in the last few months towards something that finally seems like an effective counter-attack.
  
  When starting a big project, I let myself spend hours, if not days, engrossing myself in the details and getting comfortable with the task set out before me. I find this helps silence many of the 'voices' (metaphorical) before they have a chance to bring me down and derail the train.
  
  The aim is to understand what I need to do, how I'm going to do it, and importantly, that I can do it, alongside a light but constant reminder that I need to focus on finishing something over lower quality rather than giving up on something nearer to perfection (in my industry, a common phrase is 'Just Fucking Ship It' (ship = launch) and 'Shipped is better than perfect').
  
  Alongside the effective medication, frequent cardio, no longer drinking alcohol, a good nights sleep, meditation and a quiet, healthy work environment, I'm starting to see real change.
  
  I'm no-where near the 'utopia' of productivity I have in my mind, and honestly, I likely never will be - that's okay.
  
  But as someone who has spent literally years hating myself for not being able to command myself into action, the slightest signs of a 'pulse' are incredibly exciting.
  
  It's taken a lot of effort and time to get here, but I firmly believe that if I can, anyone can.
  
  If you have any further questions or think I might be able to share some other useful information, please feel free to message me or simply reply here (this applies to OP and anyone else who might stumble across this reply, at any point in the future).
  
  As much as I hope you find this reply useful in some way on its own, I also want to leave you with some actionable steps:
  
  If you haven't already, take a look at the GTD 'Getting Things Done' methodology. Regardless of whether you implement it or not, learning the 'science' behind it will help you on your journey.
  
  Here's a good place to start: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOSFxKaqOm4
  
  Then here: https://blog.zenkit.com/a-beginners-guide-to-getting-things-done-3cc1a5123b98
  
  Some brilliant books I'd suggest are as follows - I'm not great at reading a book the whole way through these days, so I find Audiobooks to be a God-send (mainly Audible):
  
  Mindset by Carol Dweck
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322
  
  Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip & Dan Heath
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Switch-Change-Things-When-Hard/dp/0385528752
  
  Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Enemy-Ryan-Holiday/dp/1591847818
  
  Principles: Life and Work
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Life-Work-Ray-Dalio/dp/1501124021

LOVE IT

(I was just going to leave a quick comment and then...well...theres a lot here haha)

This is exactly why I do what I do every single day. I teach 8th grade science in a title 1 NYC school. Priority for me is helping my students become the best version of them as I make the journey myself. I think that age group is ideal for teaching these concepts as they haven't figured out what type of people to be yet or how to get to be that type of people. My content is the tool I use to give them the perspective they need. I get to do genetics/evolution/physics/space/human impact...lets me cover everything about living well.

I happen to have started around 24 and now that I'm 26 and pretty confident in what I've learned and actually done, I share with as many people as I can. I'm lucky enough to teach with my best friend AND get the same 3 classes he does. We've been tag teaming our kids with personal growth materials and speeches and all sorts of things this year....and it's making a noticeable difference in them.

These are a few of my recent reads that I think carry important lessons and then a link to my actual webpage that I put together so I can share and help regular people. I'm in the process of building one dedicated to my students so they have somewhere to go for answers and encouragement as they age. I don't expose my students to these sources of information, I just absorb and integrate it into what I teach.

Good luck! And keep it up! We need more real teachers, it's not about memorizing facts it's about becoming human.

[The Celestine Prophecy: An Adventure] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0446671002/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_986UAbV1ES609)

[Ego Is the Enemy] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591847818/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_.96UAbDFHSW0S)

[The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591846358/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_W-6UAbZ3NTY0A)

My own webpage [Earthling Healing] (https://sites.google.com/view/earthlinghealing/personal-growth?authuser=0)

The quote is from Ego Is the Enemy.

Right on! Glad you like it. I really enjoy Aubrey Marcus's podcast and I take away a lot of life lessons from him and his guests. I have not heard the Shane Mauss episode yet, but I have now downloaded it and will check it out tomorrow.
Knowing that you liked that podcast... I would definitely recommend his podcast(s) with Ryan Holliday. He's written such books as Ego is the Enemy and the Daily Stoic and he is a really knowledgeable guy.
You should also check out the live DTFH podcast with Aubrey and Duncan that they did in NY back in January.
Lastly, if you've never checked out Aubrey on JRE, I'd go back and listen to all of those. He's probably been on there 6 or 7 times, and 90% of those are after he's returned from Peru and is essentially giving trip reports after spending days in the jungle doing Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Ibogaine etc...
I haven't listened to the Burning Man episode since it was first released, so I'm not sure about the "wind up toy" but I was planning on re-listening to it this week. So if it rings any bells, I'll definitely let you know.
Hope these recommendations help!

Start With Why [Simon Sinek]

48 Laws of Power [Robert Greene] (33 Strategies of War, Art of Seduction)

The 50th Law [Curtis James Jackson]

Tipping Point:How Little Things Can Make a Difference and Outliers: The story of Succes [Malcolm Gladwell]

The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy [Ryan Holiday] (stoicism)

[Tim Ferris] (actually haven't read any of his books, but seems to know a way to use social media, podcast, youtube)

Get an understanding to finance, economics, marketing, investing [Graham, Buffet], philosophy [Jordan Peterson]

I like to think us/you/business is about personal development, consciousness, observing recognizable patterns in human behavior and historical significance. It's an understanding of vast areas of subjects that connect and intertwine then returns back to the first book you’ve read (Start with Why) and learn what you've read past to present. Business is spectacular, so is golf.



To Add:

Irrationally Predictable:The Hidden Forces that Shape Our Decisions - [Dan Ariely] (marketing)

The Hard Things About Hard Things - [Ben Horowitz] (business management)

Black Privilege: Opportunity Comes to Those Who Create It - [Charlamagne Tha God] (motivation)

The Lean Startup: Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses - [Eric Ries]

Zero to One: Notes on Startups, How to Build the Future - [Peter Theil]

Your ego is killing you. Read this, take notes, and come back when you're done:

Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday

> I feel unwanted, unloved, replaceable.

You have to learn to accept yourself before anyone else in the world will give a shit about you. If you think you're weak, unlovable, worthless... well, why would anyone disagree? I'm not going to lie, it is a long and agonizingly difficult process to accept yourself for who you are without reservations. But it's the only way out of that black hole of self-loathing. Another book that can set you on the right path:

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach