Reddit mentions: The best substance abuse recovery books

A woman's gut is golden as we say in the S-anon meetings. You know deep down something is wrong, you even know what it is (most don't)...where you are going wrong is that you don't comprehend that he IS addicted and YOUR life has to change because of it.

Think of sexaholism like alcoholism. You know an alcoholic has to quit drinking, right? Well, a porn addict has to quit all on-line digital sexual stimulation, and magazines if they uses them. You encouraging anything but live face to face sexual interaction is defeating any chance he has to finding recovery and sobriety.

The porn addict also has to quit masturbation for a period of time also. The actual amount of time, is up for grabs. some say 30 days, some 90. I see the best successes with 90.

Here is a video that can give you a good overview of the addiction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

All this is dependent on his decision to quit. You cannot make him. It sounds as if to me you have pretty much tried every avenue you can think of to get thru to him, with no avail. It's the same story all over the world. You are by no means alone. They may look you lovingly in the eyes, proclaiming their promises on their mothers graves and be lieing and manipulating you in any way possible in order to keep using. It's the same for all addicts, he won't stop until he gets help.

None of this has anything at all to do with you. You have not done anything or done anything to cause this in your lives. You could be the hottest porn star in the world laid out on his bed ready to do anything he desires...and he would still get bored with her and go back to porn and masturbation. It's his meth.

Since he admits he's an addict, I am going to give you a whole bunch of info and ways to find recovery and sobriety. Maybe you can get him to at least check the stuff out. If he won't move forward and DO something to help himself, then the only advice I can give you is to get the fuck out. Living with an addict, any practicing addict is a horrible way to go.

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If you want to explore a real life situation from a man's point of view, check out these You Tube video's from Terry Crews, there are several of them, They helped me decide to stay with my partner and work thru our problems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4krRkO4sHc

A funny look at addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Dq0SgNJr_I&feature=youtu.be

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First try to see a CSAT counsler, a specialist in addiction therapy, for both the addict and the partner of the addict. Having someone explain the intricacies of the disease, how it effects the brain, and what it takes to beat it is they only way to understand what you both are faced with. https://www.sexhelp.com/am-i-a-sex-addict/

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A recovery treatment center: http://www.lifestarnetwork.com/

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There are SAA meetings https://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/UnitedStates/

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On-line here is a recovery worksheet: https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-recovery-toolbox/ On-line program for the SA: https://www.drglover.com/tpi-university/sons-of-ulysses.html

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Here is a good article about 12 step programs, it talks about AA and drug programs, but sexaholism is right there with them: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2018/08/24/to-ben-affleck-and-other-addicts-heres-my-message-to-from-one-alcoholic-to-another.html

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There are S-Anon meetings for the partners or family members of addicts, very helpful in getting you over your self doubt. http://www.sanon.org/find-a-meeting/s-anon-meeting-locations-united-states/ OR SLAA https://slaafws.org/

Also do a little reading, get the book Out of the Shadows, by Patrick Carnes. It will give you a real life view of what a sexaholic faces on the road to recovery. Another good book: https://www.amazon.com/What-Can-Do-About-Me-ebook/dp/B00AVBERGG

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If you want to block XXX sites from your computer Here is a simple way to do so: https://cleanbrowsing.org/for-adults Or this is considered the best: K9 Web Protection: http://www1.k9webprotection.com

Blocking porn on your computer:

https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/9ueez4/a_comprehensive_guide_to_blocking_porn_on_your/

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Here is an app for the SA's phone: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.androidapp.watchme

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Here is a good resource for learning about stopping this in in your life. https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/2mfxyi/concrete_tips_for_staying_away_from_porn/

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Here is a reddit sub for addicts r/pornfree

Podcasts: https://recoveredman.com/category/pfr/

More podcasts: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06qhs5t/episodes/downloads

Another podcast: https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/43txf-388e1/Pornfree-Radio-Porn-Addiction-%7C-Recovery-%7C-Help-%7C-Pornography-Freedom-Podcast

Magazine for addicts: The Fix https://www.thefix.com/search/site/porn?page=11

Porn Reboot: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbqaPKeiNW6R6LECHwQkRug

Hypnosis for porn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmpwZf5Rono

Twitter: https://twitter.com/gabedeem

REBoot Nation: http://www.rebootnation.org/

A great set of videos on pornography: https://brainheartworld.org/watch/the-world/

How porn portrays women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU&feature=youtu.be

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It boils down to personal responsibility. Sadly, this is not something taught anymore in the home for whatever reason.

Cannabis is something I enjoy fairly regularly and it is no secret to anyone in my life. I make sure all of my responsibilities are done for the day before I sit down to relax (I love to write music, program, or play the uke when partaking) so I can be 100% in the moment. This provides me clarity about things that I may otherwise have had an extremely biased take on. I, however, do not put myself at the point of being a blabbering idiot if I am going out into social settings; it's not cool to do that to anyone who just wants to hang out. The point someone reaches where they appear unable to handle basic tasks is when they should be alone, lost in thought...not trying to function :) Introspection is such an important thing, shame more don't appreciate what you learn from it.

I had a friend, F, who used to be baked to the point of having the spins and passing out almost daily. He was great for playing video games with and that was about it. I hated his usage patterns but it was his choice and I made mine and broke off our friendship.

P.cubensis have helped me reach a state of understanding myself that I would never have reached on my own. Now I don't view either cannabis or psilocybin as a drug but rather a medicine. Both allow me personal insight that I hold very near and dear. Perhaps this is because of the age I was when they found me, I don't honestly know.

I view a weekly mushroom trip as my church. While some use religion as a means to better understand life and circumstance, I turn to my own mind and the insight into my own mind that nature provides through fungus. I will eat a small meal around 6am, meditate in the rising sun on the beach, and when I know things are aligned correctly, I will make myself some tea and return to meditating.

I understand why people think all drugs are bad and detrimental but it does sadden me that such indoctrination exists.

As kids we are taught that all drugs are bad. As an educated adult I fully appreciate how the FUD machine works and wish they would teach kids that "you will most likely put a substance into your body so the best weapon to have on your side is education, not abstinence.".

Wanting to be in an altered state is not a sin, it is not a malformed behavior...it is part of nature. Some animals wait for fermentation to occur and get drunk while others enjoy a psychedelic experience (http://www.amazon.com/Animals-Psychedelics-Natural-Instinct-Consciousness/dp/0892819863 - great read btw).

Be respectful, be responsible, be educated...then become enlightened.

So this is probably way late and you may be gone, but perhaps someone can relay it to you some time:

I'm gunna be a bit pig-headed and assume you haven't read this book otherwise you would be over the struggle. I wanna just tell you it's magic, it feels like it. It's basically CBT, anyone who has believed me enough to read it has quit smoking - it's beautiful, it's genius.

I wish you luck regardless.

Also, you're fucking brill at what you do. I appreciate your skillz.

Man, Iowa has got some great corn.

Best thing I ever ate tbh, when I see family up there that is all I eat basically.

On a shittier note though, meth runs rampant despite having a extremely low crime rate. (35th overall in states)

In fact the town my dad grew up in has a book written about it called Methland

He swears to me that he knows well more than half of the people mentioned in the book by name (most of the names were changed) and that a lot of the people in the book were friends/classmates

But other than that, I love how peaceful and old fashioned Iowa is. I wouldn't mind moving and rooting for the mavs from afar.

So when I read that you wanted to fix this, the first thought was to recommend this book to you about betrayal trauma and the authors story. I think you will get al ot out of it. My wife read it and it really helped us. My heart goes out to you and I hope your husband can find the help he needs or wants. Good luck.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Can-Do-About-Me-ebook/dp/B00AVBERGG

I know it's not 100% related to the topic, but there's a book called Animals & Psychedelics, short & interesting, which I recommend you to read.

Here's an Amazon link.

I apologize for the x-post, but it appears /r/cogsci doesn't allow self.posts, so I submitted it again. Sorry, but methinks relevant to /r/cogsci.

Given that Daniel Dennett has recently published a book on thought experiments called Intuition Pumps and Other Tools for Thinking, I thought it would be good to show one of Dennett's most famous intuition pumps.

This section of the movie is based on Daniel Dennett's though experiment first published in Brainstorms: Philosophical Essays on Mind and Psychology and reprinted in his famous compendium with Douglas Hofstadter, The Mind's I.

The original paper is available here and elsewhere online.

The movie itself is a documentary and dramatization of several themes in the book The Mind's I and includes an interview with Douglas Hofstadter earlier on (a name that should be familiar to many /r/cogsci folks)

The cogsci-relevant parts of the movie are a bit dated, but still relevant nonetheless.

There's a workbook/therapist manual published that focuses on clients' stages of change. I forgot the exact title--something like "Group Treatment of Substance Use Disorders." I've used it a lot with co-occurring clients and appreciate the ability to target treatment for where the client is at in the session.

NB: Here it is.

This is actually an awesome book that traces the history of militaries employing drugs for warfare across history. Highly recommend it.


https://www.amazon.com/Shooting-Up-Short-History-Drugs/dp/0190263474

Hiya!!

I am not entering, but may I suggest [Methland] (http://www.amazon.com/Methland-Nick-Reding-ebook/dp/B002WU7TA0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397704961&sr=8-1&keywords=Methland)?

Such a good book. The author grew up in this town that he saw go to shit because of meth. Really good read.

Lori Arnold is a major portion of the book Methland, which I recommend highly.

Edit - after reading the article, I recommend Methland over the first-person.

> How did society even function before all of these poisonous drugs were produced to help us get through the day?

Unskilled labor requiring little to no formal education. Now a days to make a decent living requires a college education. Also, drugs were prominent in the early half of the 1900's to increase productivity. If anything, a drug free society is a modern day fallacy.

Good book.

Torrent of the ebook if your poor.

This might be of interest: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0190263474/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Actually yes. But I'm also going to tell you a whole other bunch of things about how smoking really is, beginning with it being a drug just like heroin and that there's no other way you should think about it.

That said, there is a faster way to prevent yourself from ever wanting to smoke. Buy a pack of 20, tape them together and smoke the lot in one go. I guarantee you you will never want to smoke again.

Or finally there's this.

Except that the science doesn't all disagree with me.

Case in point: http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2017200,00.html

EDIT: Also this book on the subject: https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Drinking-Enemies-Kari-Poikolainen/dp/1626526788

They only way to know is to take a big sword and bisect her in half and look inside to find only human there.

Just kidding man.

If you are standing up for the current EIIR, then I believe you're account has been compromised or you need to hit the books, specifically this one

You should read this book. Animals and Psychedelics. It's a look into the evolutionary instinct for altered consciousness. And has some incredibly silly stories about animals drugging themselves.

Oxford has a series of books called "Very Short Introductions" and there is one on how drugs work

Drugs: A Very Short Introduction (Very Short Introductions) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0198745796/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_5OJTCbGBXVRFD

http://www.amazon.com/Methland-Death-Life-American-Small/dp/1608192075

Took 1.73 seconds to link, I'm more efficent than you are.

Read the book.

I went from 30 a day to none without any side effects, patches or vapours about eight years ago and haven't craved or relapsed since.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0718194551

http://www.allencarr.com/

This book by Daniel Dennet comes to mind:

https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0393082067/braipick-20

http://www.amazon.com/Animals-Psychedelics-Natural-Instinct-Consciousness/dp/0892819863/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211076276&sr=8-1

apparently it's a habbit.

Well most addictions are BS, read this:
http://www.amazon.com/Romancing-Opiates-Revised-Paperback-Pharmacological/dp/1594032254/ref=pd_bbs_sr_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229511737&sr=8-5

It's all about choice. We always have one. It's not right to try to make the lack of willpower into a medical condition.

• Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic
  
• Methland: The Death and Life of an American Small Town
  

I came here to say this. Most meth isn't that domestic crap anymore. For a good read on the meth epidemic and why/how it affected small town America, check out Methland: The Death and Life of an American Small Town.

And that's why I quit smoking nearly 4 years ago, after 17 years going nuts. I read this book, btw. Took a few more years to finally sink in though.

Great book about Iowa's meth problem.

Yeah, so many people have this idea of ISIS radicals being just really devout muslims who got into bombing as part of their religion.

The reality is that, first and foremost, they resemble the proto-alt-righter: a depressed, listless, rejected, usually young male, with an authoritarian and aggressive personality. After that, it's normal brainwashing techniques: approached in a time of weakness, torn down emotionally, encouraged to trash all aspects of their previous life, and slowly trained by incremental reward to follow the agenda.

If you're interested in how that works, I recommend reading this book about Synanon.

Also: https://medium.com/@GillBranstetter/the-alt-right-is-a-doomsday-cult-b40edd66062a

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/28/alt-right-online-poison-racist-bigot-sam-harris-milo-yiannopoulos-islamophobia

Terrorists are often cultists. That's not to say they're not culpable for their actions, but the patterns tend to resemble each other.

Methland by Nick Reding

It's brutal

http://www.amazon.com/Methland-Death-Life-American-Small/dp/1608192075/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427633767&sr=8-1&keywords=Methland

Methland

It's about a small town in Iowa that was destroyed by meth. I didn't know anything about the drug problem, only the stereotypes, and I learned a lot. It was a page-turner, I could barely put it down.

Found after about ten seconds on google. I've heard stories from family who served in vietnam about how they would get "daily supplements" that were rumored to be stimulants, however I have no way to confirm that. Took a peek on wikipedia and apparently amphetamines were used by pilots and special units on both sides of World War 2. American F-16 pilots in the Persian Gulf war used them too.

Come on guys, have you not heard of Allen Carr? This shit is a piece of piss. I gave up in 2003, during my finals at uni, and it barely registered on my uncomfortable scale - it's really not hard at all. In fact it's about as hard as not banging your head against a brick wall - as soon as you realise it's making your headache worse, rather than relaxing you, you simply don't want to do it any more.

holy fuck you're actually retarded

i was kind of joking before, but wow, you must have a carer to literally wipe your ass for you

i mean... i can understand not wanting to lose an argument, but this is an all new low

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0888683251/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=savedbygracemini&link_code=as3&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=0888683251

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6301800

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2165569

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0309071550/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=savedbygracemini&link_code=as3&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=0309071550

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11440936

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6985702

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/293141

there, 5 citations

i now have more backing up my side of the argument than you do


i didn't not only not accept anything you provided... the ONLY links you provided backed up MY side of the argument.

>Here's my sources:
www.google.com

looks like a blank page to me, guess that's you throwing in the towel with no sources. FINALLY.

Nicotine and alcohol are both addictive drugs, if you can't quit then it's a dependency problem not a discipline problem. If you ever feel like you 'need' a drink, see a professional - just because you're not a full blown alcoholic doesn't mean you have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

As for smoking, not sure if you mean weed or cigarettes. If it's the former, mixing weed with tobacco means you're probably addicted to nicotine anyway. I personally quit smoking with this method, I'd recommend it, but whatever works is fine. Weed isn't chemically addictive, so if you quit tobacco and buy a bong you'll be able to keep using it in moderation. It will fuck up your ability to be productive though, so it's probably a bad idea until you're back on your feet.

As for sleeping, just set your alarm early and stay awake when it goes off. Move your alarm so you have to get out of bed and stand up to turn it off. I'm a heavy sleeper, so I have an app that means I have to answer math questions before the alarm stops too. Find something that works for you - do not stop looking until you find it. When you change your sleep pattern, you'll be exhausted for a week or two. That's just how it is, you can't change it, you just have to suffer. No naps, no days off.

Finally, if you've been unemployed for a year, you need to watch out for depression. Stay active every day, even if it's just walking around your neighborhood. Stay social every day too, face to face communication is hugely important to your mental wellbeing. Find a creative hobby to keep your mind active - writing is free if you already have a computer, everyone has a phone camera so there's photography too, drawing, guitar, whatever interests you. Just staring at a screen all day pushing buttons on a remote/gamepad is not healthy, make something new every day even if it's just an insragram photo or a doodle to start off with.

EDIT: Finally, don't beat youself up when you fail. Everybody who tries, fails. If you want to succeed, don't use failure as an excuse to stop trying.

I don't know how many of you guys have read the book Methland but it's about Oelwein, Iowa, one of the Midwest's meth capitals for the last 35 or so years. I lived about 10 miles from Oelwein until I moved to college this year. I read the book a couple years ago, and the story that stuck with me was about a meth cook. A guy named Roland Jarvis. He was high as hell, and got paranoid, started seeing snipers in the trees (decapitated heads, no bodies mind you), and helicopters in the sky. He got scared he'd get caught with a meth lab. So he blew it up. When the shit involved in a good sized meth lab goes up in flames, it's pretty goddamned hot.

So this crazed bastard runs outside screaming. He feels strange, and starts pulling at the skin of his arms. It's melting off of him. No shit, he was burning alive so goddamned hot that his nerves instantly melted and he didn't even know he was on fire. He starts screaming "Kill me! Somebody fucking kill me!" and pulling at his melting flesh. Cops can't shoot him, no one can really help him. He gets himself put out, still begging to die, and the EMTs show up and get him to the hospital. He's horribly disfigured, but lives through this and tells the author about it.
Last summer, I'm working in a hog confinement with a former local cop who lost his job(s) for DUIs. Turns out, he was not only on duty that day in Oelwein but was first on the scene. The cop turned swine manager told us it was the funniest fucking thing he ever saw.

TL;DR: I worked with a sadistic former cop who watched a man burn alive after blowing up his meth house.