Reddit mentions: The best christian women issues books

You cheated and that can't be taken back. I would suggest you do research in the phsycology behind why you felt the need to cheat. Most couples can satisfy about 80% of their partners needs and wants. You may have felt compelled to cheat because the other woman offered the 20% your wife doesn't and it feels shiny and new. That shiny newness will go away eventually. Chasing the "golden haired woman" is a mistake. You are most likely not in love with this other woman. You probably have a love for the newness and the heightened levels of dopamine your brain gives you for finding a new mate. Again that will go away.


10 years ago you loved your wife enough to commit vows to spend a lifetime together. Think about that. YOU LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT YOU VOWED TO STAY WITH HER TILL DEATH! That woman is still there. Taking your marriage to a non-monogamous point just so you can continue your affair is very shady and doesn't solve the real problem. It will most likely tear you two apart due to the mistrust, and there is no guarantee that your wife will be open to non-monogamy.


Divorcing your wife would be a mistake as well. First she didn't do anything wrong so you shouldn't want to hurt her. Second your kids deserve better.


This will be an unpopular opinion but NEVER TELL HER YOU CHEATED! Why? Because it will tear her heart out. I've been cheat on before. It hurts... A lot! Don't put her through that, and don't pull the I need to clear my conscious BS either. Breaking her heart so you can feel better is despicable. And don't for one second think leaving your wife for this other woman will somehow be a better option. She has already shown you she is OK with cheating because she knows about your wife. Plus she knows you are a cheater and the whole relationship would be built on mistrust.


You need to leave the other woman and go back to your wife and family. Be the man she deserves and put effort into re-igniting the passion that you had when you married her. If you are feeling the flame dim on the passion and romance you better believe that she does too. Talk to her. Find things you can do to bring that flame back.


Here are some starter suggestions
-Does she like shopping? Take her shopping! Go with her. Yeah its boring to be a man in a Woman's shoe store, but I bet you did it while dating. Its not about spending money its about spending time.


-Is there an activity she wants to do but you don't like IE: hiking or swimming or a road trip. Do it for her. I'm not saying do something you will regret, but something small that she is into and you have declined in the past.
Real life example: My wife wanted to drive 400 miles on a particular freeway because it was a "scenic drive". I hated the idea and she knew it, but she loves that I did it anyway for her. I'm not saying be a pushover and do everything that she wants all the time, but let her have those moments from time to time.


-Do you have a little extra padding? Start exercising and very subtlety let her know its because you want to look as sexy as you can for her. Do not suggest she join your exercising but do invite her if she asks to join. Do not try to be her coach. Let her make any fitness mistakes she wants if she joins your routine. Unless of course she is doing something that will hurt her.


-Sit down and have a long talk about how you feel. Be careful not to verbally attack her. This is where "I" statements help.
"I feel that we could have more passion", "I want to know what I can do to strengthen our relationship", "I feel like we could do more to strengthen our bond", "I want to [any action or result] and want your help/opinion to achieve [said action or result] ect. If you use the word "you" then that talk may turn into a fight. Example of what not to say- "You never do [ ] anymore", "You do [ ] to much", ect. you get the idea.


So much can be achieved when couples just sit down and express what they are feeling inside. What to take a giant leap of faith? Ask her this question " What is it like being married to me"... I know terrifying. Then shut up and listen. Do not argue and do not interrupt. No "yes buts". Internalize what she tells you. Acknowledge what you have done wrong and express a desire to work with her as a team to resolve anything.


-Couples/ Marriage counseling or similar third party interventions. Most couples shy away from this sort of thing but it helps. You don't have to go for long periods of time. Even one session will go a long way towards helping. Here is a book that I think would help. http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Revised-Updated-Discovering/dp/1400200393 and here is the female side http://www.amazon.com/Captivating-Revised-Updated-Unveiling-Mystery/dp/1400200385/ref=pd_sim_b_1 You should read them both. Yes they have Christian ties but even if you are not a Christian the ideas and principles are still very valid. There is also a boot camp that goes with the book and if you can attend/ afford it you and your wife should go. Here is the link. http://www.ransomedheart.com/allies-home . I promise you the bootcamp it not a touchy feely lets hug and have a talk about our feelings event. It is a "this is how to be an awesome man" fun filled weekend. Campfires, cigars, gormet meals, archery, guns, and outdoor man movies to go with what they teach. Whatever you choose to do don't be embarrassed to seek guidance from a professional.


-When you two have sex do you make love passionately? or are you just masturbating inside her? Don't use her for sex... Give her what only you as a loving husband can give to her. Massage her body, caress her legs, smack that ass, run scratch marks down her back, whisper sexy dirty things in her ear, dust off your tongue and give without receiving. I don't know what she likes but you do. If for some reason you don't then ask her to guide you. Make her feel like a sex god. I challenge you to only penetrate when she is so turned on that she won't take no for an answer.


-Kids taking all your time? Get a sitter or send them to summer camp or a similar event that gets them away from you for several days. Your kids are important but so is your wife. A loving healthy relationship with her is great for your kids to see. Don't put your kids before your wife! She should hold more importance. Set a weekly time that you spend with only your wife. No kids allowed. It can be as simple as one night a week that the kids can't be in the living room while you two enjoy the TV (or other activities) just the 2 of you. And be firm if they try to butt in or suddenly start doing things to get your attention. Same goes for pets. Get them away.


There is a ton of other things but these are the basics and the overall idea is to spend more time with your wife. If you are having trouble finding that wonderful person you fell in love with then you better search harder. If you can't find gold with a shovel then you better get a bulldozer.


I promise you any effort you put into your wife and marriage will be reciprocated in full. It probably won't be instant, but she will respond in kind. This is about you too. You are going to feel fantastic knowing you can offer her your strength and power and love as a man.


Last point- Non-monogamy in all its forms is not a bandage that fixes troubled relationships. It is an experience that two loving people choose to do together to enhance what is already a healthy strong relationship. If/When you bring back that flame and you start seeing your wife as the "golden haired" woman then you can try non-monogamy. Do it as a team, together as a loving trusting couple. My wife and I swing. Not because we need things from other people, but because we enjoy sharing the experience.


I hope this does not come across and condemning or condescending. I believe in redemption and I wish you the very best of luck.



TL:DR: Don't take the easy rode. Fight for your wife.

Hey, I've been there before. It's not as worrisome as you think it is. A church (or christian) interact with God mainly in 3 different ways: fellowship, study, and worship.

For fellowship, you should probably look for a spiritual father or family for yourself. This is a individual or group who you come to about christian matters, but specifically it is better to find someone to be a father figure in Christ. Someone who can not only show you how to work him into whatever stage of life, but also to show you how to grow closer to God.

For studying, set aside time to read bible and grab any christian book you can find! Right now I have around 30 book ranging from The Shack to The Prophet's dictionary. From reading, i discovered my spiritual gifts, and how to receive words of knowledge from him. I put some suggested books at the bottom.

Also worship, its about just showing him the joy of being with him in the way you find best. Like during worship in church, some people lift there hands and in more liberal churches they wave banners and dance and laugh. But also worship is a lot more than that, you can show worship through the things you do, through sports, writing, wood work, metal work, or whatever you want, even the work you do at your job. Just by thinking or meditating on the things of God while doing something, we worship.

Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, which is about calling out the masculine soul of a man. He talks about the importance of a father, healing wounds from our fathers, and seeing God as our father. I cried over soemthing i read in that book many times, also i was able revive the relationship with my Dad. And later after reading this one try Captivating which is for girls, but it shows a lot about who a girl is.

The Supernatural ways of Royalty by Kris Vallotton is an awesome book! Its about bringing us out of being orphans and seeing that we are sons and daughter of God. Though it might be better so start with When Heaven Invades Earth b Bill Johnson. Both authors are from the same church, so they have the same mentality and this book will blow your socks off.

The Final Quest by Rick Joyner. This book is a compile of visions this guy had. It paints a really interesting picture of spiritual warfare and dynamics of the spiritual world. I thought of the part in this book when he is on the mountain when i read your post.

The Shack by William Young. This book is fiction, but it paints a wonderful picture. Now, some will say this is a bad book because some details the author uses isn't bilbical exactly. But that aside it shows how far God would go to show just one person how much he loves them.

Oooo this is my wheelhouse!

First, I would recommend looking at the Mormon History Association Best Book awards going back to 1966. Quality scholarship, research, and writing are a mainstay with them.

Required reading:

Brigham Young: Pioneer Prophet by John Turner / Brigham Young: American Moses by Leonard Arrington

Considered two of the best books about early Utah and the Brigham Young years. Arrington's book was considered groundbreaking when he wrote it, and Turner's book brings in the valuable perspective of the non-Mormon writing about Young. For many Mormons, Turner's book will be less sympathetic to Young than Arrington's, but Turner also worked closely with the Church Archives (and spoke glowingly about them and that process), so his research had access to some better sources. If you need a primer for Brigham Young, I recommend Arrington's book. For a Brigham Young graduate level course, I recommend Turner.

Early Mormonism and the Magic Worldview by Michael Quinn

To understand much of what happened in early Mormonism, you must understand the role that folk magic played in the lives of Americans in the 1800s. Quinn's research at this time was top notch, and he was a quickly rising star among Mormon historians. Considered one of his best works, and foundational to the understanding things like seer stones, divining rods, visions, and everything else that happened in the early church days.

David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism by Greg Prince

Covers late 1940s - 1960s Mormonism, one of the "rising moments" of Mormonism when we went from a Utah-church to a worldwide church. Prince had amazing access to the journals of President McKay's secretary, which led to some candid discussions about things like the publishing of Mormon Doctrine by McConkie, blacks and the priesthood, ecumenical outreach, and politics.

Spencer W. Kimball by Edward Kimball / Lengthen Your Stride: The Presidency of Spencer W. Kimball by Edward Kimball

Ed was Pres. Kimball's son, and the books cover both the apostle years and presidency years of Spencer W. Kimball. If you had to choose one, get Lengthen Your Stride, but make sure it has the CD that comes with the book. This has the unabridged manuscript prior to the Deseret Book edits, which is much more interesting.

By the Hand of Mormon by Terryl Givens (heck...anything by Terryl Givens!)

I'll admit - I'm a Terryl Givens fanboy. By the Hand of Mormon was the one that first got me in to him, mostly because he took the Book of Mormon as a serious work of literature to examine it's merits. It's not as devotional as many traditional LDS books about the Book of Mormon (it was put out by Oxford University Press), but it really gave me a deeper appreciation for the Book of Mormon as contemporary literature. Also check out Viper on the Hearth (Mormons on myth and heresy), People of Paradox (Mormon culture), When Souls had Wings (the pre-existence in Western thought), and so many others.

And just because I'm a big book nerd, here's the list of books that are on my desk right now that I can give you quick reviews if you want:

• Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History by Greg Prince
  
• The Mormon Jesus: A Biography by John Turner
  
• Mormon Feminism: Essential Writings, edited by Brooks, Steenblik and Wheelwright
  
• Religion of a Different Color: Race and the Mormon Struggle for Whiteness by W. Paul Reeve
  
• Pedestals and Podiums: Utah Women, Religious Authority and Equal Rights by Martha Sonntag Bradley
  
• A Reason for Faith: Navigating LDS Doctrine & Church History, edited by Laura Harris Hales
  
• Glorious in Persecution: Joseph Smith, American Prophet 1839-1844 by Martha Bradley Evans
  
• The Mormon Church & Blacks: A Documentary History, edited by Harris & Bringhurst
  
• From the Outside Looking In: Essays on Mormon History, Theology and Culture, edited by Neilson & Grow
  
• Out of Obscurity: Mormonism since 1945, edited by Mason & Turner
  
• Mormonism & American Politics, edited by Balmer & Riess
  
• Seeking the Promised Land: Mormons and American Politics by Campbell, Green & Monson
  
• A Book of Mormons: Latter-day Saints on a Modern-Day Zion, edited by Jensen & McKay-Lamb
  
• Revelations in Context: The Stories Behind the Sections of the Doctrine & Covenants by the LDS Church
  
• Natural Born Seer: Joseph Smith, American Prophet, 1805-1830 by Richard S. Van Wagoner
  
• Revelatory Events: Three Case Studies of the Emergence of New Spiritual Paths by Ann Taves (looking at Mormonism, Alcoholics Anonymous and A Course in Miracles)
  
• A House Full of Females: Plural Marriage and Women's Rights in Early Mormonism, 1835-1870 by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
  
• Baring Witness: 36 Mormon Women Talk Candidly about Love, Sex, and Marriage edited by Holly Welker

Non-fiction. A lot of people seem to discount anything that's not fiction, on the grounds that it will be boring, 'hard', or extraneous to their lives. What's I've found is that I'll often pick up a book because I'm interested in a particular topic, and 'new' non-fiction often takes you into many other related topics, how they've influenced/been a symbol of that society, etc.

A few of the books that really stick in my mind are

The Devil in the White City: A Saga of Magic and Murder at the Fair that Changed America. I'd originally picked it up because I've got an interest in serial killers (yeah, I know), but all of the information about engineering, the history of the World's Fair, Chicago etc. was just fascinating.

Last Call: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition. It's supposedly about Prohibition, but it says a lot more about the political/religious climate of the U.S. from the mid-1800s on, ties prohibition in with women's rights, churches, gangsters etc. And it's a great read.

Pretty much anything by Jon Krakauer. A lot of his books are about 'individualism vs. society', but they cover a lot of ground. Into Thin Air is one of the best extreme sports books I've ever read, Into the Wild is incredibly sad, Under the Banner of Heaven was a very interesting look at Mormon-related culture, etc.

At Home: A Short History of Private Life is just interesting, accessible reading, that touches on everything from why we have closets to when the desire for privacy influenced house design.

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement is ostensibly about a splinter fundamentalist group that started in the U.S., but eventually ends up touching on everything from PACs, to racism, education styles, women's rights, how Catholic/Protestant/Jewish/Islamic fundamentalists are coming to an accord on some fairly major issues, and how that's likely to play out.

And because I'm a Tudor history nut, Henry VIII: the King and his Court, and The Creation of Anne Boleyn: A New Look at England's Most Notorious Queen were both very interesting, and go well beyond the standard royal biography. I think that it's pretty awesome that so much new information and scholarship is turning up around facts that we've 'known' for centuries.

Pretty much anything by Nathaniel Philbrick or David McCullough.

Non-fiction is just great, especially right now. I think that we're in a bit of in a Golden Age of non-fiction right now, as there's a demand for it, and authors are making it more accessible and interesting than ever.

Welcome! We’re glad you’re here as well. It’s a great community, and I’ve grown so much from it. And I’m so glad folks in your new church are so friendly!

In terms of resources, I’d definitely encourage you to check out the Resources page over in /r/OpenChristian. Reading the Bible is tough, but there are ways to make it a little easier. I’d recommend an academic study Bible, like the Harper Collins Study Bible or the Oxford Annotated Study Bible, which have notes to contextualize and explain confusing concepts. (Be wary of some study bibles, because lots of them just promote fundamentalism under the guise of scholarship.) My suggestion on where is start is the Gospel of Mark, which is the oldest story of Jesus that we have in the Bible, and it is short, just about the length of a short story. If you try to read from front to back, it’s easy to get bored or lose track. Most Bible reading plans actually recommend jumping around!

I’ll highlight a couple resources from that list that you might like. If you’re interested in queer readings of the Bible, QueerTheology.com has a weekly podcast that’s just like 7 minutes long, which is a good place to get introduced to some techniques for reading the Bible as an LGBTQ person.

Two books that might interest you are Jennifer Knapp’s Facing the Music and Vicky Beeching’s Undivided, which are memoirs from lesbian Christians who were in the Christian music scene and subsequently came out.

If you have any more questions or want any more recommendations, feel free to ask or PM me! Peace!

If you have any interest in books (sorry--that's my jam), Mormon Feminism: Essential Writings is a fantastic collection of essays, sermons, some blog posts, and other writings by Mormon women about feminism. It has the benefit of being easily digested in small chunks that stand alone pretty well, so you can skip sections that don't interest you as much or jump to some areas that really speak to you.

I actually think the book Women at Church: Magnifying LDS Women's Local Impact might be another great option for what you're looking for. It's by a very believing Mormon woman who until a few years before writing the book had worked for the church (I think in PR if I remember right) and it basically has two halves: first, explaining to Mormon men (and many women) who don't see any problems with sexism in the church why faithful members feel that there really is (and they're not crazy); and second, laying out suggestions that could be implemented at the local level that wouldn't be against any church policies but which could alleviate some of the problematic aspects of Mormon culture w/r/t sexism.

A few other book options to consider: Mormon Women Have Their Say Essays from the Claremont Oral History Collection; Mormon Women: Portraits and Conversations (covers everyone from a Utah housewife who started a major charity to a woman who fought the Marcos regime as a communist guerrilla in the Philippines!); Educated: A Memoir (a memoir about growing up in a seriously dysfunctional Mormon family but going on to achieve awesome stuff); literally anything written by Chieko Okazaki (or even listen to some of her talks in General Conference to the worldwide church)--she is beloved by literally every Mormon woman I've ever met, liberal or conservative; and Carol Lynn Pearson has written some great stuff about women and Mormonism, like The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy: Haunting the Hearts and Heaven of Mormon Women and Men and (if you're into one-woman plays) Mother Wove the Morning. Many of these have Kindle editions if you don't like hard copies.

Anyway, hope some of that might sound interesting to you. Good luck!

[TALK] JESUS CALLING Podcast "Joy Belongs to Us All: Candace Payne and Ellie Holcomb" SFW

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/jesus-calling-podcast-touching-stories-of-faith/id1081967443?mt=2

Today’s guests, author and internet sensation Candace Payne and singer/songwriter Ellie Holcomb, are invested in finding joy each day and showing others that they too can find joy, even during the most difficult seasons. Candace has a joy that is infectious. Her viral video of trying on a Star Wars Chewbacca mask is one of the most viewed Facebook videos of all time. Candace has written a new book called Simple Joys, where she helps readers connect with joy that is all around us. Today she tells us about the unlikely places she has found joy in her life, about her evolving faith, and how each of us can obtain the joy God has for us on a daily basis. Ellie began her musical career by touring the country with her husband in the Americana band, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors. Her latest projects include a children’s book and music EP, both titled Who Sang the First Song? Ellie talks to us about how she tries to bring joy through her music to those who are hurting, and her heart for sharing the truths of God’s Word with others.

I think it makes a lot of sense. Bummer you have to leave though, I really wanted a better understanding of where you’re coming from because I was honestly confused.

I’ll give that a read, but may I make a recommendation as well? Title is super cheesy, but is a quick and easy read: How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul I’d love it if you’d keep an open mind!

Thank you for all your other responses, I appreciate it :)

This slow cooker is a bit under, but that works great because you can get some liners or a cookbook to go with it. These things are great, do some prep work, throw the stuff in there, go out and live your life and come home to awesome food. What could be better!?!?!

This lovely journal would be helpful for me. I've been in therapy for years, and I've found when I use tool like this on my own and share them in therapy, I move forward a bit faster.

> I'm depressed about my appearance. Not many men find me appealing.

You are beautiful, and someone finds you beautiful even if they aren't around you and saying that - assuming you /want/ a man, you only need 1 :-) And as a young women, you have plenty of time! There isn't a rush, even though culture might swirl around you and scream that there is.

> I'm a caregiver.

You work in a profession that is chronically poorly treated, and poorly paid. This sucks, and is wrong, and I'm sorry! There are places that do treat you well, and if you keep in the work you hopefully will work for one. Otherwise it is a lot of playing focus-on-the-good you are doing and ignoring the rest. And that does get very tiring.

> And it hurts me because I'm too afraid to defend myself.

Learning to stick up for yourself at work without verging into being the aggressive one is... tough. Most folks struggle with it :-) I would suggest finding someone in your profession that you respect and befriending them, take them to lunch, and ask their advice. It is a challenging thing, particularly when you are timid naturally.

> I know I need God but I don't know how to find him.

I would try and find a community that offers love and support. Either through friends, offering your general area here and finding a good community around you, or just trying churches around you. But that involves people :-)

Non-people options, here are three books that may interest you: Wait and See, Becoming Myself, God Loves Broken People: And Those Who Pretend They're Not.

And of course, we here on reddit are not medical professionals, just random strangers that want other random strangers to find joy in this life - always always seek and accept medical help for medical problems like depression and anxiety!

1. NFP doesn't have to be complicated (although certainly there are women who have irregular cycles and do struggle with it) - check out marquette university's nfp protocol. All I have to do is pee on stick and I only "chart" when my period starts and when I peak. Honestly I've experienced more women who struggle with infertility than with fertility - most Catholic women adapt to using NFP and I've met many using different methods who rely on their husbands to do the majority of the charting
   
2. "Only moral sex acts are ones that come at risk to women" --> to understand and love the church's teaching on sex you need to read Theology of the Body. I can't explain it in a simple post, but there's a reason the church teaches what it teaches and personally I find it beautiful and life-fulfilling not defeating. Does it suck sometimes? Hell YA sista. But knowing there is meaning in the choice and that practicing self-denial has eternal value changes everything.
   
3. "Women can't be priests" - again if you research and read the answers for why this is, it's logical and reasonable not just men dictating the rules.
   
4. There's a lot of theology about women written by women - in fact you might like Alice von Hildebrand's The privilege of being a woman
   
5. In regards to St. Aquinas, it's a little unfair to take him out of his historical context. Yes he said some unfortunate things about women, but he also said some amazing things about God. Most of the things about women were typical for his time-period.
   
6. If you want better modesty discussions I'd again recommended theology of the body based books - Dawn Eden's Thrill of the Chaste is a good one.
   
   Hoping that didn't feel like an attack because that's not how it was meant. I can understand why you would feel this way, but I truly believe the church has logical and reasonable answers for all your frustrations. Best of luck with coping with these struggles and hope some of this may be helpful to you.

I would recommend two books, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. They are both amazing books which talk about the needs and natures of both the man and the woman in regards to relationship.

I have not found any literature that does a better job of talking about the unique needs and strengths of both the man and the woman. He is a Christian author, though, and his faith informs his writing to a great degree, so it would depend on you tolerance for religious writing. Still, I would encourage you to read both together.

Wild at Heart: https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Revised-Updated-Discovering/dp/1400200393/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=wild+at+heart&qid=1565098503&s=gateway&sr=8-2

Captivating: https://www.amazon.com/Captivating-Revised-Updated-Unveiling-Mystery/dp/1400200385/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=captivating+by+john+and+stasi+eldredge&qid=1565098553&s=gateway&sprefix=captivating&sr=8-1

I'll say my books aren't expressly feminine. They're more about dynamics, relationships, motivations, which have helped to prevent me from going wild with aggressive masculine approaches despite my surroundings and peers. Thank goodness I found these so early :)

I loved Captivating, which is about women from a Christian perspective and it's counterpart called Wild at Heart, which is about men. Neither of them were too overwhelmingly Christian, IMO.

Another book with Christian influences, The Servant is a book about leadership theory that's been very helpful to me stepping into a more nurturing and deferring approach.

Five Dysfunctions of a Team is my very favorite book ever, and it discusses the reasons teams (be it a couple, sports team, friend group, or work group) fail and how to prevent that. Very helpful in learning why vulnerability, an important feminine trait, is so important.

A great one that goes through each Bible passage that clearly discusses gender is "God's Design for Man & Woman" by Andreas & Margaret Kostenberger (link). As with all books, it needs to be read via the lens of the Bible and your own wisdom, not just taken as truth, but I've actually found it kind of discusses different interpretations a bit as well! Highly recommend it. Also, I found that "Lists to Love By: For Busy Wives" by Mark & Susan Merrill (link) gave me a lot to think about in terms of what cultural aspects I had accepted as "normal".

Here are a few books I would highly recommend for men (and women as well):

• Wild at Heart by John Etheredge. For Men. The companion book for Women is Captivating. These are Christian books, discussing God's design for men and women. Even if you are not a Christian and have no desire to be, I think you may find some of the discussion very revealing or at the very least intriguing. These are not so much good "learn to communicate" books, as they are "understanding who I really am on a basic level" books.
  
  
• Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Another Christian Book, this one on the biblical view of marriage. Again, if you're not a Christian, I still recommend it as a resource for marriage. There are some fundamental principles of marriage that transcend religion that can benefit both spouses. For men and women.
  
  
• Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie. This book is required reading if you or your partner grew up in a household with an addict (parent or sibling), an abusive parent, or single parent/divorced home with high conflict. It is not faith based, for men and women.
  
  
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is a great book that breaks down how we're all different, and we get our needs in a relationship satisfied in different ways. Understanding what your partner needs is fundamental to having a healthy relationship.
  
  
• The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This is another great resource for understanding effective communication within an intimate relationship, whether you are male or female.
  
  After that, if you have more specific issues in your story, like childhood trauma, there are more specific routes to go down. I also strongly encourage enlisting the aid of a counselor, therapist, and/or pastoral counselor if you or your partner are struggling with childhood baggage.
  
  

I've run into this issue myself. My guess is that since Athiests often don't acknowledge Jesus existed and if they do, they disagree that He is who He said He is, they don't fully grasp that he fulfilled the Law. This means we're free from the bondage of adhering to the 613 Mitzvot.

I'm reminded of this author who wound up following a lot of Jewish customs and taking things out of context instead of focusing on what marriage looks like in the New Testament by the grace of God.

I pray you'll be patient with others as you labor to fulfill the Great Commission.

I'm really sorry to hear this. My wife and I lost our first at around 7-9 weeks. We had been dealing with infertility, so it was a pretty devastating blow. Miraculously, (and I don't use that term lightly), we conceived again almost immediately. We were obviously thrilled, but it was still hard because we were still in the throws of dealing with grief. Even if y'all don't conceive again immediately, it can still be hard emotionally the second time around. Emotions are a complex thing.

For what it's worth, the best advice we received at the time was to allow ourselves to feel whatever we felt, even if complicated or contradictory. If y'all need to grieve, grieve. If y'all want to celebrate the life lost, then celebrate. If y'all need to talk about it with others, don't let society's pressure to keep these sorts of things private stop you.

I don't know if reading stuff from other people who have been in the same situation is helpful to you or your husband, but two writers I found to be incredibly helpful were Jasmine Holmes and Jessalyn Hutto.

Holmes has written about it from several different angles over the years, including here, here, and here. (These are older articles from DG after her first miscarriage. I know she wrote more on her own blog, including after a second, but with a recent site redesign she doesn't seem to have a full archive of older stuff. If you like her writing, you can find more recent stuff scattered around via Google.)

Hutto wrote an entire book on the subject, Inheritance of Tears. If you're a book person, I'd highly recommend it.

Freedom and Boundaries by Kevin DeYoung is a good place to start.

Women in the Church: An Analysis and Application of 1 Timothy 2:9-15 by Andreas Köstenberger and Thomas Schreiner (two PhDs from Southern) is good for an in depth examination of that specific passage.

Jesus, Justice, and Gender Roles by Kathy Keller comes from the perspective of a woman who wrestled through this issue and examined all the relevant Biblical texts closely.

Women's Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt, is good for exploring the positive side of a woman's role in the church, while sticking with the orthodox position on ordination.

I am really, really sorry. My wife had a miscarriage in March of 2015. It was an incredibly difficult time; we had been trying for almost 3 years with no success, then that happened. It really threw her theology for a loop; she was angry with God, me, and generally anyone who had a baby.

I highly recommend going to see a good biblical counselor. I am an idiot and didn't have us start going to a counselor until 6 months after the miscarriage, and it would have radically helped her healing process in the moment, I believe.

Also, I can almost guarantee there is another woman in your church that has dealt with this tragedy. I've seen some studies that claim almost half of pregnancies end in miscarriage (granted, many occur even before the mother knows she is pregnant). But the point is that this is extremely common and, like /u/rdavidson24 said, we just don't talk about it, to the detriment of our people.

So, go talk to one of them, often. I think my wife would be able to say now that she can see the incredible ministry opportunity that has come from her miscarriage. Our struggle with pregnancy, the pregnancy itself, the miscarriage, and the recovery were all very public in our church: we were prayed for by the whole congregation for in the worship service a few times and I know that several small groups prayed for us each week during all 4 phases of the journey. And now, my wife is the go-to person in our church for women to talk to because they know she went through it, they saw her pain and (if we're being honest) hatred toward God for a while, and now they see her recovery and complete trust in Him for what has happened.

Those would be my top recommendations. We need community and people to talk to. There is a reason we are part of a body of believers.

As far as books and other secondary resources, you might try:

• A Place of Healing by Joni Eareckson Tada
  
  
• Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges
  
• Definitely this one Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb by Jessalyn Hutto.
  
  Jessayln also blogged about miscarriage for a while, but I can't find the exact articles, I'm sorry. Here is her blog, though.
  
  Some other articles include:
  
  
• Looking to Christ in the Loss of a Child
  
• THROW OPEN THE DOORS
  
• Life after Miscarriage: God’s Goodness & Mercy in Pain
  
  Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. God loves you. God loves your baby. I know that's hard to hear and sounds like a bunch of crap right now. But do not let Satan tempt you to doubt in the dark what God has revealed in the light. I will be praying for you and your husband.

If you're interested in some other perspectives, you may like Jesus, Feminist by Sarah Bessey, or A Year of Biblical Womanhood' by the inimitable Rachel Held Evans.

Pretty much every Christian leader I respect is a committed feminist. Not least my wife, who is an exceptionally gifted elder, teacher and pastor.

> Does he not find me sexy?
> Obviously I'm not a good enough woman, I can't turn him on
> There must be something wrong with me
> Am I getting fat?
> etc.



Here's the thing some of us have a past where those were the actual problems. Or we had eating disorders. or we were told that we were the ugly sister, or whatever. So those are real questions that we actually need the answer to. Especially if we think we aren't you type if we know who you've dated before.


Clear communication is really important. Sometimes it needs to be repetitive. Anything that you can do to build trust in those situations is important. If we are continually getting rejected, and by someone that we love, that gets really hard on a persons ego. It can take the most confident person and turn them into a pile of quivering sadness.


A good book that talks about this is (and I hate this book but it's really good for perspective on this situation) ["Captivating" by Eldredge] (http://www.amazon.com/Captivating-Revised-Updated-Unveiling-Mystery/dp/1400200385)

EDIT 2: Please don't call this crazy. It's not ok. People in this situation need support and love, not being called "crazy" for trying to figure out what's wrong.

Wild at heart and Captivating are about the masculine and feminine roles respectively. They are written by a couple, John and Staci Eldredge. So if you're a guy I'd suggest Wild at Heart but read both of them if you can.

These books have a lot of valuable insights into gender roles, sex, lust, marriage, the growing role of porn, etc. I'd check them out.

That's a big question. I can recommend God's Design for Man and Woman: A Biblical-Theological Survey by Andreas J. Köstenberger.

One example: not every man is a good leader, but every man is tasked with leadership on some level. Not every woman is good at nurturing, but every woman is tasked with nurturing on some level.

A book that helps me wrestle with this is Womanist Midrash: A Reintroduction to the Women of the Torah and the Throne by the Rev. Dr. Wilda Gafney, an Episcopal priest and biblical scholar. She both digs into some of the context of the stories as well as grapples with it from a modern perspective. And the book was super accessible as well as informative.

Harvard professor Laurel Thatcher Ulrich wrote a great book on the history of the practice of polygamy by the mainline church and its impact on things like women's rights. It is called A House Full of Females and would help you see it form the perspective of women living in polygamous homes in the 1800s.

She's well looking into if you're religious or irreligious. Great writer. I recommend her Year of Biblical Womanhood.

So sorry. We've had multiple miscarriages. And it's a very painful experience.

Here are a couple of blog posts on TGC that I found really helpful.

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/when-darkness-seems-to-hide-gods-face

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-baby-given-to-women-who-miscarry

And here is a book I can recommend.

https://www.amazon.com/Inheritance-Tears-Trusting-Death-Visits/dp/1941114016/?tag=thegospcoal-20

Praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding for your family.

Two Views on Women in Ministry has four different authors [two egalitarians, and two complimentarians] each write a chapter, and then the other three respond to it. It's a round robin of sorts. I highly recommend it as it's a great book on the discussion between egalitarians and complementarians. I don't think the authors particularly use much of Catholic or Orthodox arguments, as they most heavily rely on scripture as opposed to tradition. However, I would still recommend this book as an introduction to the debate. I've read it and it is phenomenal.

Laurel Ulrich recently published a book about historical findings relating to polygamy in A House Full of Females: Plural Marriage and Women's Rights in Early Mormonism, 1835-1870.

One of the things she points out was that it wasn't ever required of all members and it was always a family decision. That is to say that a second wife was not sealed unless both the husband and wife agreed. The third wife required consent from all other partners. There may be some anecdotes where this didn't happen but it was the general rule.

She also mentions that sex wasn't talked about much in journals or history so we don't actually know much about what happened in that respect. Most of what she shared was anecdotal by a few people. I imagine though that sexual relationships were handled by the group since she describes that for most of the plural marriages the women had equal say in their relationship. In a sense, I don't think it would change much from our current standards: no pre-marital sex and let the couple decide in coordination with the lord.

My kids are little, but I read this book to start when they're a little older. It was wonderful. Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement

Hey if you are particularly interested in this topic and want to read the thoughts of several New Testament scholars that disagree and walks through all of the pertinent passages - I found this book to be super helpful.

In the end, I thought Craig Blomberg's position seemed to be the most scripturally faithful position. He would approve of your situation precisely, but only under those particular limitations.

If you're really interested check out this book. I highly recommend it: http://www.amazon.com/Two-Views-Women-Ministry-Counterpoints/dp/031025437X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256236841&sr=8-1

It's probably best not to know what it means.

You know there was that straw book that not particularly bright Christians would use to argue that some of the things in the bible are well intentioned, but just, like, outdated man? Well, some lady felt left out of the stupid party and wrote her own.

Examples include sleeping on the "corner of a roof" because Proverbs. This thing was published. And now she's on CNN to inform us "what the Evangelicals think" and has an alarmingly popular blog and twatter.

I read this when my kids are little and really liked it. It's hard to apply to little kids, but since you have teenagers, it might help. https://www.amazon.com/Cleaning-House-Twelve-Month-Experiment-Entitlement/dp/0307730670/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1473335337&sr=8-7&keywords=book+entitled+children

Pedestals and Podiums: Utah Women, Religious Authority, and Equal Rights, by Martha Sonntag Bradley. While it suffers somewhat from being written by an author who was fully involved in the LDS-ERA struggle of the late 1970's/early 1980's (time is a somewhat malleable concept to the author as we jump backwards and forwards to follow strands of the story), this is by far the best and most informative book about the LDS Church's initial support of and eventual attack against the passage of the ERA. A great look at one of the first times the LDS flexed its political muscle and got what it wanted in national politics years before Hawaii and California.

It's not about Ordain Women specifically, but if you want a good history on women's roles in politics and how the LDS Church influenced them, I'd check out Pedestals and Podiums by Martha Bradley. It's about the Equal Rights Amendment and the different tactics many churches used to stop the amendment from passing, but it focuses specifically on the LDS Church and their activities in Utah.

Right. I have a couple of books I bought. Haven't had time to read them, because they are the dry reading type. I like Leonard Ravenhill and some John Piper myself. But this book and this book are what I'm talking about. Not pointing fingers at women or Mennonites (just the mennonite church USA branch that needs to read the Bible and less peacey stuff), but they show you where I'm going.

Here, just use my Christmas list:

NIV Zondervan Study Bible

The Goldsworthy Trilogy

Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God

Perspectives on Israel and the Church: 4 Views

Tough Topics

Tough Topics 2

God's Design for Man and Woman

Planet Narnia

Paul and the Law

Covenantal Apologetics

The Erosion of Inerrancy in Evangelicalism

There's plenty more I'd recommend (like anything from John Piper), but that's a decent start.

Here's a few books from Amazon that might be helpful:

• Covered Wagon Women, Volume 1: Diaries and Letters from the Western Trails, 1840-1849: Focus is on female pioneers, might give insight into the roles of women in general in the west.
  
• Autobiographies of Mormon Pioneer Women - Volume 1- 2: There's no Amazon reviews, but it seems to be a self-explanatory title.
  
• Pedestals and Podiums: Utah Women, Religious Authority, and Equal Rights: Discusses the contrast between LDS women's (and church leader's) support for women's suffrage (Utah was the first state to give women the right to vote) and their rejection and campaign against the Equal Rights Amendment. This may only be tangential to your thesis, but would provide another example of changing roles of and views on women in the church.
  
  Disclaimer: I have read none of these books.

>Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich says that for Mormon women living in 19th century Utah, "plural marriages" were empowering in complicated ways.

>Ulrich is a professor at Harvard and past president of the American Historical Association and the Mormon History Association.

Ulrich's contribution to meme culture is the phrase, "well-behaved women seldom make history." This interview is about her recent book, A House Full Of Females: Plural Marriage And Women's Rights In Early Mormonism.

Rachel Held Evans did that for a year and wrote a book about it.

As /u/Liquid_Boss says, context matters, and I don't think 1 Tim 2 is speaking in generalities, but about roles within a specific context.

This is actually a smaller part of a much bigger topic: Complementarianism vs. Egalitarianism. I'm researching it right now and if you want to do the same, this is a good book to explore the various views. Warning: It can be very academic/dry, but that's what I'd expect from a book using well-reasoned/cited arguments over faulty petitions.

There were two people who spent a year trying to live according to the rules laid out in the Bible. One was a man and one was a woman. They each wrote a book. Life became very difficult for them. Just goes to show that Christians ignore most of the Bible.

https://www.amazon.com/Year-Living-Biblically-Literally-Possible/dp/0743291484/

https://www.amazon.com/Year-Biblical-Womanhood-Liberated-Covering/dp/1595553673

I don't know what you consider to be "correct" in politics and different people will disagree over what political policies will help us move forward in love, but below are a handful instances of political involvement of the church that I personally believe qualify:

Joseph Smith ran for president on a platform to abolish slavery 17 years before the civil war.

The church and church members pushed women's suffrage in the Utah territory. In fact, women in the Utah territory were the first in the entire country to exercise their right to vote and [the first female state senator in the US was a Mormon woman]
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha_Hughes_Cannon).

The church officially opposed and spoke out against the MX Missile program during the height of the Cold War arms race.

The church has repeatedly called for compassion in immigration that allows families to stay together and has condemned aggressive actions and statements by Trump officials.