Reddit mentions: The best fatherhood books

No you don't have to stick to the same brand :-)

I have the same car seat (baby is not born yet so I haven't used it yet) and we chose the BabyJogger City Mini GT. (We chose the GT over the regular City Mini because the handlebars are adjustable and I have a tall SO. It's also better for a taller child and given my SO is tall we suspect baby will be too.)

That particular car seat attaches to the City Mini GT with the help of an add-on adapter.

Peg Perego is relatively common (and an excellent brand, great safety, from everything I read) so many strollers you look at should work with it but you will likely buy an adapter.

How do you figure it out? I bought the world's most amazing book which a friend recommended to me: http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392499/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1458395006&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bargains

In it, they review everything (seriously - strollers, car seats, cribs, mattresses, baby wearing carriers, even humidifiers and white noise machines and things you wouldn't think of bothering to read reviews on!) Each gets scored A-F.

I chose a stroller by first considering only the A+ and A's. I chose the City Mini because basically, every other stroller kept getting compared to it (and being found to be "not quite as good at folding up easily") so I was sold. You can choose what's important to you, like ease of folding up, weight, etc. They will normally also tell which you which car seats will fit that stroller (often with the help of adapters of course.)

I pretty much chose everything using this book. Chose from the A's based on what was important to me.

The other thing I did, specific to car seats and strollers, was have a personal shopping appointment at Buy Buy Baby. (Don't know if you have one nearby.) They talk to you about what kind of car you have, different safety features and considerations, etc. I had a "short list" of car seats and strollers already, thanks to the book. They helped me choose from the shortlist and let me take a "test drive" of them. They also literally took the car seat out to our cars so we could see how they fit. FYI those appointments are free.

I hope that helps!!

Hey man. I was (and still am - 9 weeks to go!) in a similar spot. Everyone is offering good advice, but I would recommend checking out a few books to get your brain thinking about the right things (primarily logistically but also emotionally):

We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook - short/easy week-by-week dissection of the pregnancy and what you should be doing to prepare along the way.

Commando Dad: Basic Training: How to Be an Elite Dad or Carer from Birth to Three Years - another short/easy read that reads like a field manual and is actually written by a navy seal. While the first book above is more focused on pregnancy, this book is more focused on what the hell to do after pregnancy.

Eat, Sleep, Poop: A Common Sense Guide to Your Baby's First Year - Although it's written by a pediatrician, it's a very simple read and very practical. Covers less logistics and more focused on health, development, sleeping, eating, etc.

These books will help put you in control of the situation and will help you lead the charge for you and your wife.

I also definitely recommend attending every prenatal appointment with your wife (and lining up a doctor ASAP - first appt should be around Week 6), as well as whatever pregnancy/baby classes your hospital offers.

As far as gear, primary items are bassinet, crib, car seat, stroller, bouncer. But you have plenty of time to figure that stuff out. Check out Lucie's List and of course Amazon for helpful reviews. BuyBuyBaby can also be a good resource - they have in-store registry consultants who will give you an entire tour of the store and provide you with some helpful advice. Both BuyBuyBaby and Amazon have 15% off end-of-registry coupons to help you save toward the end.

Feel free to hit me up with any specific questions :)

Get yourself this book - https://www.amazon.com/Commando-Dad-Basic-Training-Elite/dp/1849532613

It's a book aimed at dads, but honestly I found it more helpful than a lot of mum books. My partner LOVED it and recommends it to everyone. It's basically written like an army training manual for newborns, and it has lots of common-sense advice, lists of equipment you need, and step by step points for dealing with daily things like changing, feeding, sleeping etc.

Also - start saving as much money as you can NOW. Look for second hand items (except for a car seat - safety is key and you don't know the history of a secondhand piece of safety equipment). The baby doesn't need much for its first few weeks - somewhere to sleep (like a Moses basket), a few onesies, some blankets and burp cloths, nappies, wipes, and bottles etc if you're pumping/using formula. A stroller and a carrier will come in handy too. That's pretty much it.

Best of luck to you both!

I bought [The Baby Book] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Book-Revised-Edition/dp/0316198269) before I even started trying to conceive with my first, just on a whim, having never heard of Attachement Parenting and everything clicked. It's a great resource on babies in general, but from a gentle, AP perspective. I'd recommend this book for ANY expecting parents, honestly.

[The Attachment Parenting Book] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Attachment-Parenting-Book-Understanding/dp/0316778095/ref=pd_sim_b_9?ie=UTF8&refRID=0WC7WNX0VS1BQNCQTK5F) contains a lot of the same information, but with some additional resources, and if I recall it goes into slightly more detail.

I'd also highly recommend [Attached at the Heart] (http://www.amazon.com/Attached-Heart-Parenting-Principles-Compassionate/dp/0757317456/ref=pd_sim_b_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=0JWRN280KQTRGGP6NH0M) as an excellent resource for new moms who want to practice AP.

As for other resources, I belong to a lot of AP and gentle parenting groups on facebook which, while sometimes overly preachy or cloying, often offer great blog posts or affirmations to mull over. Even when I'm super busy with kids and life, I can usually spend five minutes to read a facebook post and often that's all I need to recenter myself and keep myself focused on my parenting goals.

NTB still. And I'm glad you got out of that relationship. There's absolutely nothing unnatural about exes staying friends if things ended on good enough terms (especially if kids are involved). That kind of absolutist thinking is super toxic. You're a good person for sticking by your husband through all of this, and your kids will think of you very highly for doing the right thing here.

Best of luck to you and your family - it sounds like an incredibly tough situation, but you sound like a great person and I'm sure you'll be a wonderful presence in your husband's life during this upsetting time.

Also, look into those books called A Father's Legacy or something along those lines for your husband. He can fill them out and leave them for your kids once he's gone. Speaking from experience, getting a book full of anecdotes and advice from my father after he passed didn't make the situation even close to ok, but it really helped a lot and I still turn to that book all the time when I miss him.

ETA: this is the kind of book I'm talking about https://www.amazon.com/Fathers-Legacy-Your-Story-Words/dp/B00FDYSWI0 (if it's the same as the one my dad left me, it was a bit too Christian-centric for my taste considering we aren't a Christian family, but it was still good. I'm sure there are non-religious ones if that's what would suit your family best)

Okay, (obligatory "this isn't a replacement for medical help/attention so pay attention to your needs/get professional help when you see fit") so he said Iron John is a "masterpiece of writing", and also said that Fatherless America is well researched. No one thing will necessarily work for everyone, but they could be a good place to start. He said that both deal with the consequences of not having a father around, so it may not flat out address coping skills/mechanisms, but I think that just having certain aspects of fatherlessness brought to light (like the psychology as you mentioned) can hopefully give you some closure/solid mental framework for you to build on. He's got a couple of good "handouts" that he used to use in his private practice that I can have him email me if you'd like; I was the recipient of countless handouts growing up, all covering various topics, and while I hated them at the time, they're nice to have now to reflect on every now and then. Some of them priceless through the ups and downs. So let me know and I can figure out how to get them to you. Best wishes!

http://www.amazon.com/Strong-Fathers-Daughters-Secrets-Father/dp/1596980125

After my daughter was born, my wife suggested I read this book. Took me about 3 days to read... completely changed my perspective on how different males/females really are.

The biggest thing I took from this book is that, as a father, you are your daughter's first love. So treat her like that. Be caring, loving, a good listener, and have empathy. But, also be the alpha male. Be a morally, strong leader.

For all the fathers out there, I HIGHLY recommend this book.

It's not about finances but...
My brother gave this journal to our parents last Christmas. https://www.amazon.com/Fathers-Legacy-Terri-Gibbs/dp/0849995736/ref=mp_s_a_1_28?keywords=memory+journals&qid=1554607353&s=gateway&sr=8-28
If you'd love to share your memories with your daughter butt don't know how, this questionnaire is creative start. But that depends on what you wish to communicate to her and family. All I know is you can find a way to still be a part of her in a journal.
Good luck on your adventures my reddit friend!

You're not alone. My wife isn't nearly that far along yet but in A Man's Guide to Newborn Babies, /u/lifecharger talks about the importance of trying to keep your wife from those horror stores because they just make her worry and don't actually help with anything.

I know that my wife has already freaked herself out by googling some symptoms. My best remedy was to pull out some trusted books (mainly What to Expect) and look up the symptoms with her to see what it recommended doing. She trusted the book enough to stop searching Dr. Google and do what it recommended. Maybe a similar approach could help to calm her (and you) down.

Good luck!

I think many men would relate to your post. Most parenting or fathering books don't address overcoming your own parent or father wound, a wound which is compounded with the lies the world tells us as we grow up. For men these lies are very specific and destructive. As fathers we can only give what we have inside us to give, if we didn't get what we needed from our own parents or fathers it can deeply impact how we parent ours kids. But that can be changed. I grew up with my own deep father wounds and raised two wonderful kids who are now adults, much of the time as a single dad. I was determined to rewrite the script of how I was fathered, and had to do a lot of inner healing on my fatherhood journey. I am now a motivational speaker and a dad coach and a few years ago I wrote a book called "Dad: Discover the Power of Fatherhood" to help other dads in the same position. There are a few chapters dedicated to dealing with your own parent / father wound, so you can be free to be the best father you can be to your kids. The Kindle eBook version happens to be free for Father's Day until June 20th.
Let me know if it helps you on your fatherhood journey. All the best, Craig.

I would get her two books (unless you already know the gender):

• Rules for my unborn son
  
• Rules for my newborn daughter
  
  They are sweet, and funny, and poignant. And hopefully they'll be something she'll enjoy reading (and maybe adding her own rules to) as her pregnancy progresses.
  
  Or a homemade coupon with a gift card to a baby things store: invite her out for a day of lunch, pampering (hair and nails, maybe) and baby things shopping when she can use the gift card, redeemable on a day when the pregnancy is really getting to her and she just needs to feel human again.

I'm a fan of Man Vs. Child for the humorous book. Expectant Father and We're Pregnant are good for actual information. We're pregnant is great because it goes week by week in bite-sized chunks, great for people who don't consider themselves "readers."

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https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212129/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8_mBRCLARIsAKxi0GIQZAT9DkdzjY93ocM6HSo5H1ReLLLmiAW4UEe55jnVC91WEfYiD_waAh8AEALw_wcB&hvadid=174213914372&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9011162&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=b&hvrand=4452630806437102253&hvtargid=kwd-810889235&hydadcr=24629_9648897&keywords=so+your+going+to+be+a+dad&qid=1557414688&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1

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Your lives are GREATLY going to change after a baby. Especially the first few years, you're going to need to be a TEAM. He can't just off and go skiing at his leisure without some sort of plan or support system for you and if you need him to be there, then he's just going to have to make that sacrifice and vice versa. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Maybe the reality of it hasn't hit him yet and it does take a while for men, but maybe this book will help him and his expectations. Maybe you two could even sit down and read it together. My husband and I read books about marriage and parenting together because my husband hates reading, so I read them out loud and he listens and responds. It's a great bonding tool but also a great resource for the future.

It's aimed directly at dads but I'm sure mums would enjoy it too.
Commando Dad: How to be an elite dad or carer.
Takes you through from birth to 3 years, apparently Prince William used it according to Amazon. I found it a fun read, if you're into SAS style books and that sort of army lingo.There have been loads of offshoots too
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Commando-Dad-Elite-Carer-Birth/dp/1849532613

If you're seriously interested in this subject, I highly recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0520274067?pc_redir=1410758834&robot_redir=1

It's called Doing the Best I Can: Fatherhood in the Inner City. The authors are a married couple, two scholars of intergenerational poverty at Harvard who moved to Camden, NJ in an attempt to essentially answer your question by living among (serial) single parents and hearing their stories.

The gist is that a significant number of low-income men and women in urban areas simply don't see a reason to avoid having kids. They don't necessarily set out to have kids, but if it happens, it happens. This seems astoundingly irresponsible to a lot of people, and in many ways that's certainly true.

Yet it's not completely irrational. These young people grow up in broken communities. Their parents are absent, or incompetent (mental illness, drug addiction, etc.), or simply overwhelmed. The schools are in disarray. Jobs are scarce, let alone good-paying ones. Are there paths out? Sure. But a lot of kids don't see them, or think themselves capable of them.

So they don't expect to get fulfillment from education or employment. What else is there? Raising a child. It's a way, perhaps the way, to make your life matter. Plus, as another book by the same authors explores, young black women are not inclined to wait around for the perfect man to have a kid, simply because so many of the men of their generation are unemployed or in jail or otherwise not marriage material.

Add it all together and you get a culture where having kids at a young age out of wedlock is something of the norm. Multiple kids with multiple partners is common, because if women want to have more than one child, that's often the only option they have.

And, heartbreakingly, these young men want to be good fathers, they just have no idea how. So they have their first kid at, say, 19, completely unprepared for what they're getting into. Then say they lose their job and can't provide, or get into legal trouble, or have a falling-out with the mother. All of a sudden, they're cut out of their child's life, getting time/visits entirely at the mother's discretion.

Don't worry, these guys are painfully aware that this isolation is largely self-inflicted. But they still have a desire (like most people), to be a parent. So with their next girlfriend, they tell themselves that this time will be different. And they mean it! And hey, sometimes they can get it together. Lost in the single-parenthood statistics are the surprisingly high percentages of fathers who remain active presences in their child's lives, they just don't cohabitate with them.

Anyway, I don't know how much of this applies to AP. 7 kids is still pretty crazy regardless of your background. And obviously he has a lot of money now, but I'd bet that his experiences growing up (though I think it was more rural?) were not dissimilar to what Edin and Nelson describe.

(I should note that this phenomenon happens in other communities as well, of course, but this book is interested in black urban single parenthood specifically.)

I don't have a daughter, and actually when I read this book I wasn't even married or had kids, but it was an on going tradition at my previous workplace to buy this book for a dad that was expecting a baby girl and my friend that was expecting at the time told me about it after he read it.

I think this might be something you are interested in, the book is called Strong Father Strong Daughter.

Sounds like a great opportunity to depend on God and grow in faith.

Books:

http://www.catholicgentleman.net/book/

http://www.amazon.com/Imitation-Christ-Dover-Thrift-Editions/dp/0486431851

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-The-Four-Signs-of-a-Dynamic-Catholic-p/1fs-sc.htm

http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Fatherhood-Burnham-Steve-Wood/dp/0972757163/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1463572670&sr=1-2&keywords=christian+fatherhood

http://www.ignatius.com/Products/JWAY-P/josephs-way-the-call-to-fatherly-greatness.aspx

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-Every-Mans-Journey-p/1emj-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-Mission-of-the-Family-p/1motf-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-A-Father-Who-Keeps-His-Promises-p/1fkp-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-The-One-Thing-p/1ot-sc.htm

http://cart.dynamiccatholic.com/Free-Journey-to-God-p/1jtg-sc.htm

CDs:

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/facing-your-fears

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-3-stages-of-the-interior-life

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/contemporary-sainthood

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/becoming-the-best-version-of-yourself

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/discerning-god-s-will

Much more at:

http://dynamiccatholic.com/

https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/

http://www.ignatius.com/

Sorry you missed this one!

If you'd like, I have another free eBook on promo right now here, and if you are still interested in the baby how-to book, you can get a free preview and other free stuff here.

My coworker who is my unofficial FIRE friend bought me this book, which has been a god send on knowing what I actually need and what I don't need. It breaks it all down to what's the best option for the price and gives options based on organic vs cost vs made in USA vs safety. 10/10 would recommend.

A friend who's a pediatrician recommended Your Baby's First Year, which may be a little too light for your tastes, but I found it easily digestible and a good book to reference quickly when I was wondering if/when the kid was expected to do something.

Actually, that was a bit unkind. I remember what it was like to be a kid and dream big. By way of apology, I'd like to recommend some books to you:

https://www.amazon.com/Dove-Robin-L-Graham-ebook/dp/B0089LOFX0/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1473462196&sr=1-1#nav-subnav

https://www.amazon.com/Sailing-Alone-Around-Joshua-Slocum-ebook/dp/B00CTOKB8G/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1473462104&sr=1-3

https://www.amazon.com/My-Old-Man-Sea-Father/dp/0060976969

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0026772N8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1#nav-subnav

https://www.amazon.com/Years-Before-Mast-Richard-Henry/dp/149224936X/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Dick-Bantam-Classics-Herman-Melville/dp/0553213113

https://www.amazon.com/Master-Commander-Aubrey-Maturin-Novels-ebook/dp/B006C3Q6GG/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1473462069&sr=1-1

My boss gave me this book after I told him I was pregnant. Baby Bargains
It helped narrow down some stuff and gave reassurance of what to look for with others. In general, I haven’t registered for much cute stuff- clothes, toys, books- because that’s what people like to buy whether it’s on a registry or not. I tried to go more for practical stuff so people would know what we actually need. We aren’t having a shower though, so it might be different if you are expecting tons of people to buy you stuff.

There's a really good post that should show up with some searching regarding oak moves during pregnancy.

I have a ten month old daughter. I avoided dread above above level six and I sparingly used time conditions from level 4. Be the oak, and own it. Research all of the shit that goes into having the responsibility of a child.

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-furniture-strollers-maternity/dp/1889392499/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451186831&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bargains+book+2016

This is a great book for knowing all of the stuff you need and all of things to say no to. Trust me, my FO wanted all sorts of shit that her hormone induced mind was telling her that she needed.

Sign up for a baby CPR class and take the lead on it.

I made time for the gym. 4 days a week minimum. There is no exception to that rule. Do not waiver on this. Time management is a skill that a successful father will have in spades.

I really liked Your Baby's First Year Week By Week, it's (mostly) not scary, includes games and activities for development, and is easy to read.

Fantastic gift. Here’s a book to go with your new aesthetic

My husband loved this. It's well written by an ex soldier now stay at home Dad.

It's funny but not patronising.

Clearly written & gave him so great advice about what to expect & how to support me after birth, through breastfeeding etc

Commando Dad: How to be an Elite Dad or Carer. From Birth to Three Years https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1849532613/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_42vuybAPXQHW3

I got my husband the book “We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook” because it’s supposed to be less condescending than some of the other options. He’s started it, seems like he’s liking it and learning a lot!

Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BQGHPTL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_qiTOBbFHSBWK6

I saw a post here saying "a man's guide to newborn babies" would be free in ebook form for 3 or so days on amazon.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Guide-Newborn-Babies-Arrives-ebook/dp/B0727MM9XS

As far as the sailing went I really liked My Old Man and the Sea.
https://www.amazon.com/My-Old-Man-Sea-Father/dp/0060976969/ref=nodl_

The authors of this book interviewed 'deadbeat dads', one of their findings was that:

> When the men learn that their partner is pregnant, they don’t panic, or lament all the freedom they are going to miss. On the contrary, three-quarters of the men in Edin and Nelson’s research were joyous at the news. The men are less likely than the women to want to end the pregnancy with an abortion.

They usually leave in the first year after the kid is born, well after the abortion ship has sailed. They like the idea of being a dad, but not the reality.

I second the baby bargains book. I carried mine around and used it to register, at consignment stores, and when I picking up those last few things. Totally worth the purchase price!

I was told this book would solve all those issues for me. I ordered it yesterday. We'll see...